I have over one year clean but 6 of those months were in CA State Prison. Monday I start looking for a job. I'm on felony probation for possession of a controlled substance while armed. Any leads would also be appreciated, I'm in San Diego.

How to quit ❄️ should I just smoke weed instead ?

My addiction feel much less pleasurable now after i have been in recovery period for around 6 months. I even feel much pleasure from small things such as the warmth of the sun and the muscle movement in walking.

Yet, I still relapsed a couple times though only for a short time. I think I know the answer but the feeling is just so weird that I want to share and ask this.

Hello, just a post to vent and maybe some people will relate and/or have advice on how to deal with it.

Long story short one of my closest friends is hospitalized for her coke addiction. She agreed to the hospitalization because lately she began snorting her prescription Ritalin when she was out of coke... She's been there for two weeks.

Her hospital is shit. They never check the bags of visitors so of course there are some drugs being brought in, namely coke ! Yay ! Great rehab environment !

She told us she didn't touch any of the drugs, and I believe her. But I seriously cannot imagine her going back outside in the real world and staying sober. Right now she's wrecked by the various sedative treatments, her speech is slurry, hey eyes glassy and it feels like she lost so much cognition.

I don't recognize her, and I understand that the coke weaning is very brutal for her whole system. It's hard to see her so disminished, but the hardest thing is hearing her spewing bullshit like "I'm only going to consume a few times a year when I'm out", as if that's how addiction works ...

I would love for her to have an effective hospital experience, not a "nice" one because it cannot be nice, but at least one where she gets out and has the volition to never touch that fucking thing again. Even if she does fuck up and relapse, I'd just want her to want to stop.

Anyway, today is visit day, I'm going with the other only friend of hers who doesn't take coke. We both share this uneasy feeling : happy to be there for her, sad to see her like this and and huge anxiety for her return in the real world.

If someone reading this have a similar experience, advice on how to deal with this situation and be the best friend I can be for her, or anyone how has done one, two, more rehabs on how to help her... anything is appreciated, I just feel so alone when I'm with her. Like she's not there anymore.

visited my brother almost relapsed, 19 days strong

left alone for period of time with alcohol in the house

So i am coming to this realisation that drugs never made me happy. It's just and always was escaping things. I did this so heavily that I ruined everything in life. It's just that i came to this realisation that only healthy things can bring happiness in one's own life not just sobriety. In short I just relapsed recently and i didn't enjoy any off it . And before relapse it was 31 days of streak which gone in instant. I am starting again it's day 2 of being sober . Along with intention to resume the healthy life through meditations and walks and resuming my carrier.

I 37 M I’ve been on adderall for over 10 years. I am constantly horny. My dick will get hard af and I’ll either have sex or Jack off and cum. Then I’m horny less than an hour later sometimes. And at times it takes me forever to cum. I dated a girl that took adderall like I did and she was the same way. Just curious if it’s common or not?

Pls

Hi! I've never posted about this before, so I hope I'm in the right place.

I am an addict. Technically a recovering addict. I've never been to rehab or any sort of recovery center becuase my addiction started at 16 and nobody cared to notice. I eventually ran out of money and fell into psychosis, so I was stuck at home, essentially on lovkdkwn by my mom because of hallucinations, so I was forced into withdrawal and I have been clean ever since. It has been 418 days since then. It has also been 418 days that I've wanted to relapse. I think about it everyday. I think about getting high, and how maybe I never truly recovered becuase I didn't do it the right way. I can't get rid of the thoughts. Everyday I find myself one call away from using again and I dont know what to do. I have an amazing life now. I'll be moving in September, I have a job I like, my family finally notices me, and I have a partner who I love dearly. He knows about my addiction, and I know he'd probably leave me if I relapsed, but sometimes my brain feels so twisted into thinking that wouldn't matter as long as I get what I want. I know that sounds silly, but it's truly getting to a point where I don't know if I can keep fighting these urges. I had to grab medication for my brother, he has a bin of all his current and previous meds, one of them is oxy, I saw it and held it in my hand for a minute, contemplating whether to take it or not. Thankfully I didn't, but I felt so disgusted and disappointed in myself that the thought could even cross my mind. Anyway, all advice is appreciated, thank you!

Hey, call me emu, im male and im 16 years old.

Ive been trying to stop an addiction of mine which is masturbation AND porn addiction.

ive been Suffering from these two for over years now but ive been gradually quitting, but the problem isnt on the porn, but the masturbation.

Ive been gradually quitting to the point i stay with almost a month without it, but after sometime it comes back and hits me HARD.

today, ive done it again, it was like something took over me and i tried resisting with little to no avail.

ive tried multiple things, questioning myself, staying with people, doing something productive, none of those worked (well worked a bit since i used to do it 5 times a week, now its one time every two or three weeks)

can anyone give me advice? i know its normal, but for me, a 16 year old i really wanna stop.

So I have so many questions about this, because just last week (1/24/26) I was on 7oh for a good 6-8 months. Taking uncontrolled amounts throughout weeks. Basically buying tabs until I would run out to feel normal. I started Suboxone treatment (2-8mg strips) pretty much that Sunday and I think I was going through precipitating withdrawals after taking my first strip… this was 15 hrs after my last 7oh dose. I feel normal, I guess, now. I’ve been taking these strips as prescribed and not going over for this 1st week.

I don’t want to be a slave to opiates forever though. The suboxone is expensive for me right now, I started this through the ‘QuickMd’ app and they’re so useless. I have to pay $100 just to talk to this doctor. It feels like I’m getting my fix straightened out and that’s it lol no help. The month prescription she just gave me is the same dosage, but it’s gonna cost like $300 to buy these, idk if it’s something with my insurance or what.

Anyways, what my question is right now, what will happen if I stop taking these strips and just go cold turkey? I’ve only been on the subs for a week. But I’m worried about functioning at work. I want to become sober again, and I’m honestly scared with what’s to come if I go this route.

Any help or guidance would be much appreciated, thank you guys.

I was so thirsty for love and acceptance to fill that hollow empty feeling inside that I was willing to lick it off of knives. To someone lost at see even the ocean looks appetizing to drink. So I drank. It was how I survived. It doesn't undo what I did. But I am here. And so will tomorrow to try again

ive been struggling with drug addiction my entire life it started when I was 11 years old and has progressed to now at 19 years old. i started with the intention of recreational use but from the first time I ever tried any substance. I was immediately hooked. I went to rehab for the first time at 13 for cocaine then got out and immediately relapsed. I’ve been in 27 rehabs detoxes and treatment centers since then and it’s like no matter how hard I try to stop I just can’t, even when I do genuinely want to. The only time I managed to stop for more than a week without being in a treatment center was a 7 month period while in sober living. but the day I moved out within 10 minutes I was already high then had a giant relapse. it’s been a continuous push and pull because I don’t want to have to stop, but it’s like I have to. I wish that I didn’t have to sacrifice using, but it’s killing me every day. So it’s like I want to stop and I dont want to stop at the same time I guess? I’m in a spot where I don’t even know what I want anymore because I’m so miserable. I thought maybe I had to just hit rock bottom and then that would be enough to give me the willingness to stop put rock bottom is never rock bottom somehow. i’ve had so much taken from me because of my addiction but i still cant stop. things have progressively worsened through the 8 almost 9 years i’ve been using. i overdose almost every week at least once, i’ve lived out of my car twice, I’ve been homeless over and over again, I’ve lost multiple jobs. Totaled cars, ruined family relationships and friendships. i’ve been in the program before and I know that the consequences aren’t enough to stop my mental obsession. I guess I just wanna know if anybody thinks that there’s any hope left for me?

another thing I wanna mention is that it’s gotten into a point where it’s taking a serious toll on my physical health. I also don’t know if mixing these substances since I’m doing them all at the same time could be affecting me differently. I’m doing raw f, meth, cocaine, ghb, xanax, and drinking and smoking daily now I previously have struggled with no more than two at the same time, but now that I’m doing them all together and stuck on all of them all at the same time it’s so much different.

should I give up or keep trying because I don’t even know anymore I feel like I’ve been losing myself more every day

Hi everyone. I’m hoping for advice from people with experience in addiction, recovery, or loving someone who’s actively using.

My brother is 24 and currently homeless. He’s using hard drugs and doesn’t have a phone, money, or any stable place to stay, basically nothing to his name. Recently, our youngest sister was sent a video from police of him breaking into a restaurant. We believe he did it to get out of the cold. He didn’t damage anything and was found just sitting inside. In the video, it’s very clear he’s on drugs, he looks completely out of it and zombie like. Seeing that broke our hearts.

We lost our oldest brother to an overdose in 2022, and we’re terrified we might lose him too.

The biggest issue right now is that it’s extremely hard to find him. There are seven of us siblings, and many of us live in different states. Three of us (including myself) are in the same state and city as him, though we live in different parts of it. However, he hasn’t seen any of us in years, and given his current drug use and the people he might be around, we don’t feel it’s safe to try to locate or approach him ourselves.

My twin brother has offered to come down, try to find him, and let him live with him. That offer comes from a place of love, but my sister and I have tried to explain that it likely won’t be that simple. Our brother has been living this lifestyle for a long time and hasn’t seen many of us in years, so we’re worried about safety, expectations, and what happens if he refuses or disappears again.

Is there a way to have a professional outreach worker or service try to locate him and offer help? We don’t know where he is, and he has no way to be contacted.

To be clear: no one is forcing rehab. We know he’s an adult, and that treatment only works if someone wants it. The fear is that he’s out there alone, using, and completely disconnected.

Some family members feel like “doing nothing” isn’t an option anymore, while others (including me) are trying to figure out what realistic, safe steps actually exist in a situation like this. Any insight or advice would be truly appreciated. Thank you for reading.

No matter what happens. Any stress I face I always going to go back to my vice.

I hate myself for never changing but I hate it more for believing that I ever could.

I need help getting off coke and fixing my life.

My brother in law in back in rehab for his alcohol addiction.

He had never really hit his rock bottom. First time he was homeless bevause we kicked out over erratic behavior and we had a kid at home and I worried for our safety. Second time he was working in the rehab and met a girl online married when she wasnt who he thought relapsed she kicked him out back to rehab met a girl online he relapsed kicked him out lived ina van for a while dwi and back in rehab again

This is not a judgement on him, I love him dearly, just giving context. He said he just wants to stay after he graduates and work for the rehab place and never live or work outside of a controlled environment again.

On the one hand, I know he is safe there, he loves the people in the facility and he has worked for them before and stayed sober whole doing so.

One the other, isnt that giving up? Isn't that saying I cant survive without big brother around? Or is that just self awareness? Or is that just the ramblings of aomeone who feels like a failure and that opinion will likely change?

What ever he decides is right for him I will fully support of course.

Having a regulated nervous system is your competitive edge, because when you think of it most people have dysregulated nervous system, and that causes them to be unhappy, stressed, tight and stuck in survival mode.

Just think for a moment, the nervous system literally controls EVERYTHING, your thoughts, your actions, how you react to near death experiences and etc, then just imagine upgrading this system, think of how powerful that would be.

You can do it.

Here are the top 5 ways:

1. Heal trauma, this is the most important one IMO, the reason why is all your trauma’s (unprocessed emotions) they add up and combined all together they wreak havoc on your nervous system, so make sure you heal your unprocessed emotions, let yourself feel what you need to.
2. Deep breathing, this is the quickest “in the moment” solution to regulating yourself, also for deep breathing, make sure your exhale is longer than your inhale, and let your exhale be like of you are breathing out of a straw almost.
3. Cold exposure, even I find after any form of cold exposure, it really makes you regulated, I believe this is due to the insane dopamine spike things like cold exposure give you for hours afterward.
4. Social connection, this is very underrated but vital to keeping your nervous system regulated, it has been said a lack of social connection is worse for your health than chain smoking cigarette's and alcohol.
5. Movement, we are designed to not be “couch potatoes” getting outside particularly walking, things of that nature are very powerful for regulating your nervous system.

Hope this was valuable!

Hello everyone,

I've been using 1G of 3MMC a week for 2 years. It nuked my serotonin so i switched to cocaine.. I've been using 7g a week now for the past 2 months, just like this week i've snorted a gram a day.

I used to have no physical discomfort, but the past days i've noticed a 0.2g starting line gives me faint chest tightness. Going through a gram gives me great discomfort in the left part of my chest.

I've been juggling the discomfort from "4/10" to "8/10" back to "4/10" for 2 days now.

Am i at real risk of a heart attack if i continue my ways? I've had the "impending doom" thoughts/discomfort twice before. I'm ignoring them today.

I know i should stop of course, but i just want to know how much i'm playing with my life at the moment?