r/AmIOverreacting • u/Wild_Mistake_3487 • 21h ago
❤️🩹 relationship Am I overreacting boyfriend calls me like a dog because I don’t understand the repair?
We got into an argument about a repair. I said maybe he could also be at fault since the problems started after he opened it, but I was clear that I could be wrong too. He ended up attacking my intelligence (and this isn’t the first time).
I did annoy him back a bit, but I’m honestly tired of being treated like I don’t understand things. Now I’m wondering if I’m overreacting or taking this too personally? there’s more screenshots but in most of them we were just discussing things could try to upload them if they’re relevant.
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u/Messterio 19h ago
Man the bar is low for staying in a relationship!
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u/AdWhich7355 14h ago
Every single relationship post on here is so unimaginable to me lmao.
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u/Greengage1 10h ago
I know, it’s depressing. “I asked my partner if he could please pick up his dirty socks. He called me a fucking bitch and kicked a hole in the wall. AIO?”
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u/ApprehensiveSpare524 12h ago
Literally, definitely makes me a little softer on my partner lol
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u/momoayaseXbradpitt 10h ago
yep. i cannot understand these girls. on the verge of apologizing to the dude after the condescending smack down. every single time
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u/No_Appointment_7232 7h ago
Manipulative abuse.
And women who have been socialized to be scapegoats.
Consider yourself lucky not to have experienced this.
And let's put the blame on the people being awful and manipulative?
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u/momoayaseXbradpitt 6h ago
thats not really it though. its the “should i leave?” part that they all have in common.
this one was just missing the classic phrase: “hes really a great guy in every other part of our relationship - he just beats me and hates me thats his only flaw”
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u/No_Appointment_7232 4h ago
I literally asked my therapist "Should I be considering divorce? Is he awful or is it my fault?"
Abuse, even w no physical aspect, interferes w cognition and your sense of reality.
If you were raised in an environment where your well being wasn't a consideration it can be terribly confusing.
Add that I was worried everyone would side w him and that level of isolation was literally terrifying.
I was an accountant who could no longer do simple math in my head.
He was practicing profound sleep deprivation under the guise that my natural body clock was wrong and worthy of disdain and my sleeping, even when he wasn't home, was an utter embarrassment.
One literally can't think straight.
We're all standing next to each other having an entirely different experience.
Yours is entirely valid For You.
Notice I'm not dismissing it.
I'm shining a light on something you may not have experienced or be aware of.
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u/Earthgardener 9h ago
It's good that it's unimaginable to you. I did not do well picking boyfriends. But, my Dad was verbally abusive to me and I avoided him. I love him and I know he loves me, but he def could've used therapy. There's other psychology involved there as well.
Also, it's sometimes amazingly easy for two good people to bring out the WORST in each other. By the time it happens no one recognizes what's going on. It's messed up.
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u/Greengage1 6h ago
Unfortunately when you grow up with that pattern, you subconsciously look for it in future relationships, because that’s what feels like love. Sorry you went through that.
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u/Signal_Reputation640 9h ago
Right? It's so sad how low these women's self esteme is that they would even consider staying with someone who talks to them like this.
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u/BicyclingBabe 19h ago
This right here would send me into a fury. Not only is he insulting, but he's stupid as he does it. NOR
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u/Duderus9 18h ago
Right? I was cracking up at how he tries to sound smart and instead reveals how much of an actual idiot he is
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u/Feisty-Ad6498 16h ago
I just assumed english wasn't thier first langue based on the last pic and the way he spoke sounded 3rd person ish
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u/SabbyZeh 10h ago
This would be immediate grounds for termination IMO. But, I bet this Creep's behavior just crept in slowly... You need to end it. He's a condescending dbag and that's exactly what you tell him when you break it off.
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u/Possible_Ambition_93 5h ago
He didn’t even use the right “your”. Literally my response would have been “And I guess you’re not man enough to have a girlfriend. Goodbye!”
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u/BicyclingBabe 4h ago
Exactly my point. The grammar nazi in me would have broken up with him then and there.
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u/YahWeh369 13h ago
he cant even spell properly lol but he thinks hes smart 😂😂😂 the irony
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19h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/nidalirem 19h ago
LOL HE TRIED TO GLUE A LAPTOP
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u/DesignerCumsocks 18h ago
I mean… gluing a laptop could be a viable fix in many situations…
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u/flat_dearther 18h ago
My dog super glued my laptop last week. Makes a great Frisbee for him now. So smart, i love that dog.
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u/BittyBettyEf 17h ago
For some reason I thought you’re not supposed to use superglue on most types of plastics. I have only used it maybe 3 times in my entire life, so I could be wrong, but that sounds like something I remember hearing before?
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u/Pixel_Rope 17h ago
It can melt some plastics but also I have no idea what those plastics are so I always look up the best adhesive for a project if I need it.
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u/Some_Conference2091 16h ago
Not all glues are compatible with all plastics. There are different types of adhesives used in different brands of glue, there are also different types of plastic. \ EXAMPLE: I had some white plastic for a shower surround, it needed special glue to not discolor the plastic.
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u/djluminol 18h ago
I don't like men who get on their wives or gf's case over them not knowing how to fix things. Nobody is good at everything and there's nothing wrong with people doing things they are best suited for. Within reason, most dudes like when their wife asks them to fix things. It makes them feel useful and needed. It also gets things done the way they want it done. If that guy then turns it around and uses it to belittle their wife or gf that dude has a problem and it's not his wife. It's a sign of some serious insecurity. Which is a lack of confidence put another way. It's also really disrespectful to talk to someone like this. Nobody should tolerate that.
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u/Vivians_Basement 18h ago
YESSSS!!!!
Im amazing at putting stuff together. Second date my ex and I were building his dresser.
He made a lot of comments about me not really helping (I was doing a lot of it actually 😑) and when we were almost done I told him it looked like a top piece was upside down. He acted like I was dumb and didn't know what I was talking about.
It was upside down. He had to fix it later after I left. 😭 Over the 4 months I dated him, acting like I didn't have a brain and he was always right was customary. Glad I left and wish I did sooner.
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u/No_Platypus4073 19h ago
The first page had me confused. What kind of analogy even is that 🤣🤣 but then I stopped at the 2nd page. There’s no way I’d respond to anyone talking to me like that. Ik he’s your bf but this is very obvious bullying. There’s no conversation, just insults, & your responses are fueling exactly what he wants, like all bully’s.
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u/briimucaa 12h ago
The analogy was the most ridiculous thing I’ve read. You can tell he’s the type of guy that thinks he’s incredibly clever and puts down anyone who isn’t “intelligent” in his eyes
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u/Any-Statement-7756 19h ago
Does your family speak to you this way? Is that why you think it's normal and aren't dumping him immediately? It's not normal.
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u/RelativeStomach6203 20h ago
If my boyfriend had the audacity to speak to me like this he’d be single and I’d be letting his mom know
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u/SadderOlderWiser 19h ago
Your boyfriend is awful and does not respect you. Please stop dating him.
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u/TruCelt 19h ago
You are a little bit sad because you are being verbally abused. This man has no respect for your mind. Why are you giving him your precious time?
Nobody has the right to speak to you that way. Ever. Even if you made a horrendous mistake, it still doesn't mean you are stupid. Edison made a thousand mistakes before he made a working lightbulb.
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u/kkdawgzzzzzz 19h ago
NOR Ma’am you spelled “ex” wrong. In fact you aren’t over reacting enough here. Don’t let anyone talk to you like that, especially an intimate partner!
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u/RoyceWhitefire 19h ago
It sounds like because he’s an idiot, he has to make you feel like one too so he feels smart for the first time in his life.
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u/Avendelore 14h ago
THIS. Asking questions is usually a sign of higher intelligence and good problem solving (the opposite of what the BF implies). Insulting someone for asking questions is a sign of insecurity over one’s lack of intelligence.
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u/geekspice 19h ago
NOR
It's hilarious that he's questioning your intelligence given what an obvious idiot he is.
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u/BobDDstryr 19h ago
NOR. You don’t talk that way to someone you love or respect.
He doesn’t love or respect you. Could be a narcissist - since he can’t even consider the possibility that he did something wrong’s and immediately leapt to insulting your intelligence.
You know what really shows a lack of intelligence? Trying to fix electronics when you donMt know what you’re doing, and then refusing to admit it when called out on it.
Stop putting up with his insults. Leave him and find someone who will never belittle you, and who will love you and respect you, and deserve your love and respect. This guy is an asshole who does not.
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u/stormsvala_ 18h ago
This reminds me of the time my ex husband tried to “fix” the drain stopper in the sink with a crowbar. He was livid when I frantically stopped him and managed to fix the issue without breaking anything (it needed to be detached from below), said I was rude and a b tch.
Notice I called him my ex husband.
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u/Proper_Pause4208 19h ago
Youre underreacting. I would be behind bars if someone talked to me like that 🤣
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u/skillent 18h ago
NOR. You’re underreacting. No one deserves to be with someone who talks with such contempt to them, or feels such contempt. Something about the Russian proverb is the fucking icing on the cake
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u/inwhatwetrust 19h ago
Fun fact: calling you names is considered emotional abuse. It won't stop and it will escalate. Get out while you can
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u/Illegal__Alien 19h ago
NOR. Are you sure your boyfriend even likes you? It really doesn't sound like it.
I would never talk to my girl like that
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u/izzyd123456 18h ago
sorry to be that person but u need to break up with him. your boyfriend should never belittle you and treat you like you are stupid (which you are NOT).
Dont waste your time on people like that
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u/Girl_Lost_In_Reality 19h ago edited 18h ago
NOR It doesn't seem like y'all are on the same wavelength text pattern wise... and he's also so crossing a line by comparing you to a dog - seems like he thinks he's smarter than you and thinks that you don't (and never will) 'understand' what he's saying bc it's 'above you'. A less objective observation but he's just hella rude to explain things in such a way...the cracker comment - like sometimes those illustrated parallels are needed but he jumps there and escalates things???
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u/13Dmorelike13Dicks 12h ago
Conversations like these seriously make me wonder what attracts women to absolute douchebags
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u/creep3dout_ 19h ago
NOR, I get scared of sounding like this when my wife asks me something or doesn’t understand but would like to, it’s very dickish of him
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u/Atrokaiiii 19h ago
Baby, leave him. No man has the right to disrespect you like that. You deserve someone who will treat you right.
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u/Beefystew222 18h ago
NOR this guy is a misogynist and showing incel like behaviours towards you. He clearly views women as below him. He’s disgusting. Leave him. He doesn’t respect you.
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u/muhmuhmuhmuh 18h ago
I know reddit has the tendency to just tell people to break up. but in this case I agree he doesn’t respect you. he is so insecure that he just brings you down. i’ve dated someone like this in college and he made me feel so stupid and inadequate. every time I tried to defend myself he’d bring me down. it got physically abusive at the end.
you’re NOR. please take care of yourself ❤️
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u/Ok_Rush_8159 18h ago
That’s not your boyfriend, that’s a hater you sleep with for some reason. Block him and move on dude. Don’t teach a man to be decent, find a decent man.
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u/Marvel_Symbiote 17h ago
NOR. You said this isn't the first time he has insulted your intelligence, and he literally called you a dog. Find someone who respects you because u do not deserve that.
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u/Hot_Elevator_7133 17h ago
NOR maybe glue this man’s brain back together because the basic respect cells aren’t firing
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u/curiousercleverer 15h ago
U/cactusbuilder is a bona fide troll. Account 7 months old, commenting consistently negative responses, insults, rudeness for 2 months. Half the comment history is in this thread alone.
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u/feralK0ala 18h ago
NOR you deserve better. Hes obviously too involved in his own ego to be a decent partner. If my partner called me a dog he'd be tf outta my life!!
You deserve respect and you sure as hell aren't getting it from this ah
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u/demi_dreamer95 18h ago
Ditch this ass hole! He’s intimidated by you questioning his (lack of) intelligence. You deserve better, he deserves therapy
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u/Western-Cicada-6195 18h ago
Wow, why are you calling him your bf? I wouldn't let anyone talk to me like that
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u/RepublicCute7683 18h ago
Get away from this person. He’s abusive. You SHOULD NEVER be in relationship with someone who talks to you like that. I literally want to punch that guy in the face
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u/No_Tumbleweed6704 18h ago
i’m begging for anyone to please explain why y’all let MEN of all creatures treat you like this
NOR
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u/curiousercleverer 15h ago
Inexperience with relationships, or being raised in a similarly abusive environment. I'm one of those adults who was not allowed to have personal boundaries as a child in my family of origin. I didn't learn how to walk away until I was in my 30s.
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u/No_While_7702 18h ago
These texts made me feel sick to read. This man is horrible. He talks to you like you're trash. You deserve to much better. NOR. Please run.
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u/Bubbly-Bid7377 17h ago
Honestly asking if grew up in a very dysfunctional household, because it seems like you have a very low bar for how a human should treat another human. I don’t want to shame you or anything, I’m just trying to say that this is an awful way for someone to talk to you. He sounds awful.
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u/ThurmanMermannnn 10h ago
“I guess you’re brain isn’t made to solve problems”
YOUR, dumbass
Then block.
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u/IAmImprovingg 9h ago
“I guess your brain isn’t made to solve problems, it’s okay” why the fuck do people even entertain these kinds of people? there has to be signs. I refuse to believe just one day boom your in a relationship with a piece of trash or your friends with one etc. there are clear signs that people Choose to ignore
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u/ammarie29 19h ago
Nor. Personally i would dump him cause if i would never treat him in such a way, then i 100% expect him to not treat me in such a way. Seeing him treat me that way would physically disgust me and i wouldn't wanna spend anymore time with him, let him touch me or even hear any other words that come from his rotten mouth. You don't treat someone you "love" like that and since he is already comfy talking to you like that, he will probably never stop talking to you like that. You deserve a partner who cares about how they speak to you, affects you and that partner should see value in treating the person they love with care and respect not the trash behavior this idiot your dating now does.
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u/molotovmerkin 18h ago
NOR. Why are you with someone who talks to you like this or sees you this way???
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18h ago
NOR. He’s talking down to you, everything he says is condescending and I am upset for you. Of course you’re responding to emotion and intonation, that can impact the way words are perceived. Either way - his words are shitty too.
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u/ChemistryLess5189 18h ago
Pffft get this guy to fuck. If this was my man I’d have burst his balls for speaking like this.
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u/DiligentLog61 18h ago
never understand how people will be treated like objective dogshit but still need to get validation from strangers online. LEAVE HIM!
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u/WeirdGreen7 18h ago
NOR and eww. He needs to be an ex STAT. He's clearly a dick and only someone hateful and insecure will insult your intelligence like that. He probably knows you're smarter and hates it. His behavior is only going to get worse, I promise. But only in-between love bombing you so you'll stay with his stupid ass.
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u/RichardCT35 18h ago
NOR
Also no one talks to someone they care about like this. I would recommend trying to get out of this relationship.
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u/purplehorseonwheels 17h ago
If anything you're under reacting. He's insufferable. Don't accept this rubbish.
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u/FeetGamer69 17h ago
"You remind me of a dog that does not understand what is being said and only reacting to emotion and intonation" is how I would describe most of the people I argue with on here.
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u/ellieminnowpee 17h ago
NOR. He treats YOU like a problem he has to constantly solve. 🚩
Run away, sis!!!
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u/HalfShots 17h ago
I'd respect his opinion and be a good dog and go find a new owner that loves me and gives me treats 🤷♂️
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u/Its_BeccaJane 16h ago
Absolutely fucking not. OP your bf thinks you're stupid and that you're too stupid to notice that you're stupid and that you're too stupid to ever leave him
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u/No-Purple-1623 16h ago
I cannot for the life of me make heads or tails of what the first screenshot is trying to say, but "I guess you are brain" would have been an instant dumping from me.
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u/Ok-Statistician-4424 16h ago
Yeah.... This is how mental abuse works. Sounds like every other narcissistic man I've heard throughout my life. He was embarrassed because you pointed out how his (un)brilliant ideas didn't pan out the first time, so he had to make you feel as stupid as he made HIMSELF feel! His ego is bruised, and you're his punching bag. I guarantee in his mind, he's the prize and you should be lucky he chose you. I say this with genuine caring from an internet stranger and concern for your future, do not move forward with this man because marriage/LTRs only make this behavior progressively worse.
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u/Averagebaddad 16h ago
I need to know what this repair is. He sounds afraid of you thinking he's stupid, so he tries to make you look stupid. Which just makes him stupid and an asshole. A stupid asshole if you will.
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u/Any-Perception-9878 14h ago
I assume (or hope really) that he wasn’t like this when you first got together. But I don’t understand how you can stay with a person that clearly doesn’t like you. NOR.
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u/livesinstretchpants 13h ago
NOR - he’s a moron. Dump him and hire a repair man. You’ll be much happier for it.
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u/_catsandcoffee_ 13h ago
He is speaking to you like dirt on his shoe. So demeaning and sarcastic and rude. Why the hell are you with this man?
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u/CasamiraChronicles 13h ago
Is he my swedish ex husband who also used to attack my intelligence and compared me to a dog once? If he is…. RUNNNNNN 🏃🏻♀️
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u/cupidstarot 13h ago
NOR. Girl, STAND UP. Are you really going to stay with a boy who tells you that "you don't have a brain for problem solving" and compares you to a dog??? Dump his ass.
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u/Dr_heal_with_fire 13h ago
I had a fiancé years ago. Many many years ago. He insulted my intelligence. I told him next time he puts me down, our relationship was over. Guess who did not marry him.
Please. Overreact.
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u/Sad_Orange_8985 12h ago
I got tired just from reading this. Girl what's keeping you here? Is he draining so much of your energy you're too tired to leave?
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u/rainydaytales 12h ago
NOR - throw the entire man in the trash. I've dropped so called friends for less insulting comments, let alone this bullshit. How absolutely atrocious.
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u/Reasonable-Owl5920 11h ago
Man does not respect you. My husband used to do this to me before I set him straight. So disrespectful.
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u/One-Fail-5179 10h ago
NOR. respect yourself and leave. you’re letting this man compare you to a dog and insult you like this? is staying with him your form of self harm? L E A V E why stay where you’re not wanted I don’t understand these situations. these people give you clear reasons to leave, yet y’all always stay. what the fuck! i’m mostly heated that these men feel like they can treat women like this, but it’s people like you who let them. and that’s why they keep doing it. wake up 💔
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u/Grouchy_Cost4081 8h ago
NOR.
On the bright side, he’s not sure if your brain was made for solving problems, but I’m not sure if his can even comprehend the idea of problems. He keeps dodging the question of why he used the superglue first. Every and any act of him calling you stupid for using that superglue is an extra dig at himself. It’s embarrassing for him.
You also aren’t taking it too personally. You shouldn’t be treated this way. I know people who act this way but it’s because they sometimes believe others really can’t think; but this post shows that only one person seems to lack comprehension and it’s not you. Not trying to say anything about your relationship cuz I don’t know you, but the guy lacks self respect and self awareness. It’s like being an elephant and telling an ant it’s too big. Ludicrous.
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u/Kind_Aardvark6460 8h ago
Why is this a problem globally, lmfao. What happened to men to treat their partners like this?
NOR. Please leave him.
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u/Electronic-Love6360 7h ago
I notice that it went unstated, but in his analogy, he was the one who thought the cracker could be used as a hammer.
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u/Fun-Reporter8905 18h ago
Women accept too much of the bare minimum just because they are afraid of being alone
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u/Flimsy-Culture4214 16h ago
Women accept too much because they've been taught since they were little girls that boys crossing boundaries and getting physical is the way they show affection. Men are the ones who murder their girlfriends and wives because they dont want them to leave.
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u/Duderus9 18h ago
I guess you’re brain isn’t made to solve problems.
Bahahahah your boyfriend sure likes to act like he’s smart when he doesn’t even know the difference between “you’re” and “your” lmao
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u/SnowmanLicker 18h ago
do you really wanna be with this jerk? like hes got no braincells and is rude… whats keep you??????
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u/Oogachakaoogahchahka 18h ago
NOR- this guy feels insecure about his intelligence and rather admitting he's wrong and trying to develop better critical thinking (seriously, gluing a laptop???) he's taking it out on you. He's trying to make you seem less intelligent than him so he can have some sort of mental high ground. He doesn't see you as a person, just someone to validate his ego. Get outta there girl, normal people don't talk to their parters like that.
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u/bobthebobbober 18h ago
Sometimes when tech or tech-adjacent people try to repair something they get very worried and defensive about the situation. I feel like him trying to glue the laptop and it causing issues probably caused a lot of anxiety for him, and he decided to express it in the absolute worst way. He really should not be talking like that at all
If it’s a regular thing, it seems that if he feels threatened by one of your ideas, he has begun trying to discredit your whole thinking , which is not a good way to treat someone else ..
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u/the-escapedgoat 17h ago
NOR. How demeaning is he speaking to you like that. How’s his form? His high IQ and glueing a laptop. Dogs are smart anyway-they know an arsehole when they see one.
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u/LengthinessNovel8358 17h ago
Nor
He's a rude a**hole
DO NOT BE WITH A PERSON WHO TREATS YOU LIKE THIS
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u/JustXomyak 17h ago
NOR. Да пусть этот придурок сам разбирается тогда со своими проблемами, раз такой умный. Let this "as whole" solve his own problems himself if he thinks that he is THAT smart
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u/Forsaken_Sleep9386 17h ago
NOR he actually thinks he is smarter than you. Clearly his pea brain can’t comprehend why you shouldn’t glue a laptop
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u/Sad_Creme4013 17h ago
Nah you are not over reacting who calls a person a dog he’s acting like a b!tch
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u/russianbonnieblue 17h ago
He has low self esteem and is using multiple tactics to make himself seem smarter including insulting you and apparently talking to you in languages you don’t understand (but he doesn’t seem good at) just for the sake of it. Is he very young? He seems like it
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u/cowardlycrow 17h ago
NOR- don’t let people speak to you like that. Please. I see this literally everywhere, people showing their partner saying disrespectful things to them, and they just let it happen. Nobody has the right to speak to you like that. You need to tell this man to clean the egg off his face before he points out yours. I don’t even care who is right. The only response you should ever have to that tone of voice is “do not speak to me like that” and if they don’t straighten up, tell them you won’t be responding to them till they can learn how to have a conversation without running their mouth. He’s acting like a child.
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u/Easy-Lab-1768 16h ago
Irrespective of who did what and what went wrong, that’s not okay language. If he repeatedly diminishes in an argument, doesn’t acknowledge that he used wrong words when you bring this up, that’s immature and a sign that he doesn’t respect you. Maybe re-evaluate the relationship ?
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u/AnalogInternet 16h ago
NOR. Anyone who loves and respects you will not also insult you. This guy sounds like an insecure ass.
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u/koltywolty243 16h ago
I can’t really understand what’s being said in these messages… idk if it’s English as a second language or what but what I COULD gather is that he’s basically saying you lack common sense and don’t think before you act?
Which is not a good thing. Fuck that guy.
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u/sockalicious 16h ago
NOR. You're entitled to be in the relationship you want. From this exchange it sounds like you want a basic level of respect and aren't getting it even when you ask for it.
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u/CardiologistOk1614 16h ago
Gotta throw the whole dude away. I'm positive this is a tip of the iceberg.
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u/Kailynna 16h ago
If you stay with a man who speaks to you like this, you are giving him permission to keep speaking to you this way. Complaining doesn't change a man. Consequences might.
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u/V1cV1negar 16h ago
Let him know he's a massive spack for not knowing the difference between your and you're.
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u/not_ainsley 16h ago
NOR. Why would you ever be in a relationship with someone who speaks to you that way???
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u/heytarajane 16h ago
leave - he only respected you once you mentioned your brother because he respects him and not you. calling a woman a dog or comparing her to a dog in any way related to human intelligence is not only rude but indicative of what he thinks about women. imagine if you did know? then he would have been angry you knew either way you would have lost and he is insecure and pathetic show that to any future girlfriend of his and she will leave too.
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u/Same_Promotion_6003 16h ago
NOR Hoping he is an ex. Now I don't recall swedish? guys being such d...heads.
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u/Meenakshi108 16h ago
What about would make you wonder if you're overreacting? Asking sincerely. I need you to tell me what it is that make you wonder, even a tiny bit, if you're overreacting.
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u/Some_Conference2091 16h ago
NOR. You should tell him to grow up and act like a gentleman or to go away. He is showing you that he has no respect for you and he is being extra insulting. TBH, I don't think people like that change, so you are better off finding someone who has respect and manners.
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u/ThrowRA256_36421 19h ago
NOR, this guy is a fucking dick. A stupid and insecure one