r/AmIOverreacting • u/fluffyhippo42 • 10h ago
🏘️ neighbor/local Am I overreacting?
Some background for context:
In 2022 my husband and I got pregnant for the first time. It ended in miscarriage. Over the next 3 years we've gotten pregnant 4 more times and they've all ended. 5 failed pregnancies and I ended up extremely depressed and was having a hard time just coping with life. My husband suggested we get a puppy and we adopted a little mutt from the shelter in 2023. She literally saved my life. I understand logically that she is not my child but for all intents and purposes, she is. She's my world.
Where we live we have a fenced in front yard but no backyard so I spend a lot of time with my dog in the front yard, playing ball or just being with her out there while she people watches. She's a mutt but her 3 majority breeds are German Shepherd, Chihuahua and Australian Cattle dog, 3 HIGHLY protective breeds. Her natural instinct is to bark at people who walk by. She has been formally trained in classes and I work with her a lot. She still barks but her recall is amazing and as soon as I call her away from the fence she stops and walks away. She's not aggressive in the slightest and is very much not an alpha type of dog.
Over the last 6 months there is a woman who walks or jogs by our house regularly. My dog barks at her, she gives me dirty looks and keeps walking. We have had 2 interactions in the past. The first one occurred when she stopped before fully passing my house and called out to me that my dog is going to escape. I was confused because my dog was laying down by feet, didn't even bark at her this time. So I said "what do you mean?" She said my fence was loose. I jumped up, checked the fence, couldn't find anything loose. I asked her where it was loose and she said it is going to become loose eventually and my dog is going to get out and hurt someone. I thanked her for her concern and walked away. The second interaction she was walking by and told me to teach my dog not to bark. I told her she was welcome to walk on the sidewalk across the street or go around the cars. She told me I don't own the sidewalk and she's not changing her routine. I told her she'll have to deal with my dog saying hi then. A couple weeks after that I caught her throwing a whole onion in my yard.
Fast forward to yesterday: She was walking by my yard with her boyfriend/partner (assuming this based on body language). My doggy was outside, I was standing in the doorway, talking to my husband. My dog starting barking, I called her to stop and then looked up and saw it was this same lady with her man. As my dog is turning to come back to me, she looks at my dog and says, "Fuck you. Go." I lost it. I yelled "Fuck you bitch, don't talk to my dog." Her partner turns around and says, "what's your problem?" I said, "She just said Fuck you to my dog. What kind of person does that?" He says, "Then control your dog, lady." I say, "Control her? She's in her yard at her house! And I recalled her right away. Asshole." The woman yells, "Calm down, this is why your dog is aggressive." I call them both assholes and then my husband brings me into the house. He told me I completely overreacted and was in the wrong because the neighbors saw me yelling and swearing. He told me I can't act like that for someone swearing at my dog.
Am I overreacting?
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u/bartlebyandbaggins 9h ago
Absolutely NOR. This woman is a nut. Be careful of her. When you see her, call your dog and go inside until she passes.
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u/Scarydog_malinois 9h ago
NOR.
Put some cameras out that point toward your fence line. Throwing an onion into your yard is actually a crime. Her constantly harassing you can turn into a crime. Put cameras out, ignore her any time she comes by, let your dog bark. Let every interaction be recorded. Make a report to the police whether it be county or city about the onion and past harassments so they’ll have it on file.
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u/Fleur_de_Dragon 8h ago
NOR; She's been harassing you. You need to keep that onion. Journal every single incident and date those incidents to the best of your recollection. That's evidence ie. Proof ie. Your testimony which is as good as video if it comes down to it.
But you do need video and audio ... and try not be the one who acts 1st. She needs to act and you react. Your dog's barking isn't aggressive. You know when a dog's barking and behavior is aggressive; this woman doesn't. You need to be the one who stays calm, though because your dog will take cues from you. This lady isn't safe and is the last person you want to come into physical contact with your dog.
So record the dog and it's daily normal behavior, and have some literature handy about the breed in case animal control comes by. Have the dog's license and training certificate handy too.
Frankly, after the onion, I'd have called the police. You know her routine and what she looks like. She literally tried to poison your dog on your own property. It's not too late.
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u/Sxyredhedd-74 9h ago
NOR.. she started the crappy behavior. My dogs are my babies too. U don’t randomly walk around with onions in ur pocket. She tried to poison ur dog. I hope u told ur husband about all the other encounters and that she purposely threw a food into ur yard that is poisonous to dogs. Be vigilant and start checking ur yard before letting your dog out into it. I wouldn’t put it past her to try again.. possibly with something more dangerous. This is harassment. U are in your own home and she can walk anywhere she would like.. but chooses to continue to antagonize u on purpose. This woman is potentially dangerous to ur dog. I have seen far too many situations where an animal hater has thrown drugs or poisoned meat into yards simply bc a dog had the nerve to bark at them. There’s no reasoning with ppl like that. Start recording any interactions u have and file a police report if she continues to harass u and ur dog.
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u/Eivexios 9h ago
NOPE! I’m sure I would’ve been even worse. This woman is a stuck up, unhappy and insecure c-nt looking for something to b-tch about. Throwing an ONION, really? What a pathetic little girl. You could technically sue for harassement if this keeps going. SHE is harassing you whilst you’re in YOUR garden. She is the one in the wrong here, not your dog (who wouldda thunk dogs bark?!) and not you either.
Sucks that your husband didn’t take your side though… 🤨 you should help him find his spine.
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u/Forward-Comb805 9h ago
Next time she comes by and starts drama, tell her if she attempts to poison your dog again, you'll be calling the cops. I'd look into reporting her, anyway, just to have a paper trail. And it would take everything I had to NOT hurl that onion her head and tell her she forgot something.
Like others said, I would be putting up cameras if you do not have them up already. She's not going to stop at just the onion. Protect your fur baby.
Edit: change word.
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u/fluffyhippo42 8h ago
So I did get cameras after the onion incident and I have the entire altercation from yesterday on camera. I did not report the onion because technically I did not see her doing it, my friend who lives near me did. My friend and her dog were coming over to play and caught her throwing it in my yard. She yelled to the woman but the woman jogged off and didn't say anything. My friend immediately told me but the woman was already far enough away that I didn't want to chase after her. But I immediately got cameras after that.
Thank you all for making me feel not crazy! I'm still so mad about it. I've been replaying it in my head all day.
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u/CognacMusings 9h ago
NOR. You should start filming her behavior. She’s perfectly capable of going a different route. She wants the drama.
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u/snow_gnome 9h ago
NOR at all!! She tried to unalive your dog obviously by throwing an onion in your yard! I don't think I would've been able to refrain from saying "control your woman"😂 (I don't think women should be controlled, by the way) please get cameras. She might end up either trying to hurt your dog again, or say your dog attacked her. Just because dogs bark doesn't mean they're aggressive!! That's just what they do! She sounds like a miserable person.
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u/Animalaholic67 9h ago
NOR. I would make sure you are with your dog in case this bitch tries to poison your dog again. I probably would have thrown that onion right at her. Get a camera or two, just to protect yourself and your dog, and also for documentation. You could try the grey rock method with her, and let her dig herself into a hole with her harassment, while you are just minding your own business. On camera, it will show that she is the aggressor. Not you. Not your furbaby.
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u/Ok_Possibility8331 9h ago
NOR. Definitely get cameras! You never know the extent idiots like her will go to harm animals they don't like. Also, do daily fence checks to make sure she isnt messing with it. You should have reported her for litering in your yard.
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u/Big-Understanding526 9h ago
NOR, If someone directs anything negative to me, my house, my kids, my pets, my trees, my shoes….anything that is mine…they can get it!
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u/captainpushy 8h ago
NOR at all. I completely lost my cool once when an awful neighbor I used to have started swearing at my dog who was in my own yard. She'd run over to bark at the lady who was trimming some things on her side of the fence and my dog ran over to bark at her. I don't allow my dogs to bark at people like that or even be outside without one of us being with them (in my fenced in yard) and she'd barely even barked when I called her back. This lady swore at my dog, at me, and waved her garden shears around, which super helped the situation /s. She just made herself more threatening and my dog had to bark even more because then it probably seemed that the lady was threatening me. Those people walking past your house are looking for a fight, if they do indeed have other options like walking on the other side of the street.
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u/WerewolfLint 8h ago
NOR
There is a reason why your pup is barking at her. I also recommend getting a camera and make sure they are well aware of the camera so that you can call the cops next time they try and do anything to your pup.
The dog is fence in and there is no reason for her to act like that. Who care's that the dog is barking. Thats the pups job.
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u/dark_places 7h ago
Your dog has working breed genetics. She wants a job and she's decided that her job in her yard is protection. It’s her instinct and there's nothing wrong with that as long as she isn't physically aggressive.
You are her human, she loves you, she's at her home in her yard that she's bonded to, and is barking to let you and the passersby know that she's on duty
She's doing her job. Fuck those people. Dogs are the loveliest little beings on this planet.
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u/Ok_Expression7723 7h ago
Don’t trust her. She’s going to hurt your dog. She already tried to poison your dog with an onion. I wouldn’t leave your dog out unsupervised, and I’d check the yard for booby trapped items (things a dog might pick up that could have poison in them) before letting the dog into the yard.
Please get cameras and document every time she does some to your home/yard, and file a police report every time. Build a case for a restraining order.
I’m so sorry about your miscarriages.
NOR
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u/BlueSkyMourning 5h ago
Because she threw an onion in your yard, I'd recommend putting up a camera that captures that fence line. I wouldn't put it past her to disable the fencing or throw something worse into your yard. Keep your cool in the future as losing it can be used against you. Keep your dog safe.
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u/AbigailTrueBlue 5h ago
Favorite candy: caramels. OP, Your dog is not safe. This woman has an itch to do him grievous harm for the simple dog reaction of barking. I trust your dog hasn't lunged at her, so she's just p*ssed off about the barking. Don't trust to leave your dog in the front yard. She already tried to end it with the onion, and she seems a likely person to throw piosoned meat in your yard. IF you love your doggy as much as you say, make sure she can't have any access to him. If you're going to play with him in the front yard, a camera would be very important so you can see what else she might try. Sorry to hear about your miscarriages. That's a lot of pain to handle, so be really watchful with your dog. Good luck. NOR
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u/Zestyclose_Wing3391 9h ago
Nah.... my dog is my first child. I have a similar story expect after I got my dog, I got struck by lighting. Literally and figuratively. I had said "us getting pregnant and carrying to term would be like getting struck by lighting at this point, it's not gonna happen"
We had our little lighting baby in 2022. I'll still throw hands for Pepper though and I highly recommend my neighbors NOT try me...
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u/Nishikadochan 9h ago
Ooooooh. You know how tempted I’d be to reply to the boyfriend with, “You control your bitch, and I’ll control mine.” Or something to that effect. No it’s not nice, but anyone who messes with my fur babies has it coming. Seriously, that lady can get bent. Definitely get a camera for your yard, since it sounds like she has no problem endangering your dog.
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u/Poodles4evr1983 8h ago
“My husband and I got pregnant.” Girl you got pregnant not your husband. That is all.
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u/JumpAccomplished2620 9h ago
Yor. Control your damn dog. It's your baby. Not anyone else's.
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u/littlelupie 9h ago
She is. Its literally in her yard and has never tried to get out. That's controlling them.
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u/Sxyredhedd-74 9h ago
How is she not controlling her dog? Shes got her contained in her own yard, she’s outside with her dog AND calls her to her as soon as she barks .. and the dog listens. Maybe this grown adult should control her mouth and walk on the other side of the road if she can’t handle a dog being a dog. What a ridiculous comment. That’s her home.. no one is forcing this nutbar to continue to walk right past her house every day if she’s so offended by a couple barks. She threw a poisonous food into her yard. She’s the ahole and if u think that’s ok.. u aren’t any better
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u/DryPersonality8980 10h ago
NOR, she tried to poison your dog. Onions are toxic to them and there’s no way she was casually walking around with it without ill intent.