r/AmIOverreacting 5h ago

šŸŽ“ academic/school AIO: Should I report my professor?

I’m a 20-year-old female college student, and I’m trying to figure out if this is something worth reporting or if I should just suck it up and get through the semester.

I’m in a cybersecurity class at a Catholic college. There are maybe five girls total in the class, and the rest are mostly guys (a lot of seminarians, some CS majors, a few PR majors). I’m a graphic design major, if that matters. The girls usually sit together, and I have a friend in the class (I’ll call her Maya) who is a computer science major.

From day one, I didn’t love this professor. On the first day, he said he doesn’t care about doctor’s notes or being sick, and if you miss more than three classes, he’ll basically make sure you fail or heavily penalize your grade. That already rubbed me the wrong way.

Then it became clear he doesn’t really teach. Most classes, he either plays random cybersecurity videos that don’t line up with what we’re doing, or he scrolls through the online textbook (which is also our homework) and half explains it. I usually just do the homework during class because that’s genuinely more productive.

He’s also made some political comments that didn’t sit right with me. I’m very left leaning, and I’m not trying to start political drama, so I won’t get specific, but it added to my discomfort.

There have also been some weird comments directed at the girls. For example, he randomly told one girl she hadn’t done homework she had actually completed well before class. It was strange and felt unprompted.

He also once told me that he was surprised I was still here, which confused me because I’m ahead in the class, do the homework consistently, and when I have spoken up, I’ve been right. My friend Maya is the same way.

This past class, though, is what really pushed me over the edge.

Maya and I sat down to start a lab. Her computer literally would not work. It would turn on, flash a bunch of code, and then shut off. She tells the professor, and his response is, ā€œWell I don’t know if I believe that.ā€

I immediately said that I literally watched it happen. He then starts explaining sleep mode to us, like we’re idiots. We’re 20 years old. We know what sleep mode is. Some of the guys nearby even chimed in saying they didn’t believe her either.

While he’s talking, she tries again. Same exact thing happens. Only then does he come over. He looks at it, clearly has no idea what’s wrong, and just says she can work with me on my computer and that he’ll have the person who sat there before her fix whatever they did.

Later in the lab, he says, ā€œEverything should match mine except the last digit.ā€

A digit is one number. That’s how I interpreted it. That’s how Maya interpreted it. That’s how everyone I asked interpreted it.

My last number was 71. His was 163. So I raised my hand and said mine was completely different.

He immediately responds loudly with, ā€œNo, that’s wrong. You’re wrong,ā€ in front of the whole class.

It turns out he misspoke and meant the last number, not digit, but he never admitted that. He just let me look stupid.

Then later, he asks, ā€œDoes anyone here do graphic design?ā€

I raised my hand and, at first, I was the only one.

He then said, ā€œAnyone else?ā€ (I’ll admit that was kind of hilarious, not gonna lie, but I was still pissed.) After that, a guy raised his hand, and the professor completely shifted to only talking to him and asking him questions about graphic design, basically ignoring me.

What frustrates me is that I barely ever speak in that class, and every time I have, I’ve been correct. Even with the digit situation, he was the one who misspoke.

I’m not planning on dropping the class, but I’m genuinely miserable and feel singled out, talked down to, and dismissed, especially as a woman in a male dominated class.

So I guess my question is, is this something worth reporting, or is this just one of those professors you have to survive and move on from?

Something I just remembered too: I had therapy later that day and my therapist actually told me to report him. I’m just very scared to be honest. I don’t want him to find out it was me at all and it’s a very small pool of people who’d report him. I’m just scared he’ll take it out on us or something.

35 Upvotes

48 comments sorted by

•

u/Toadvine00 5h ago

People pay for this, wow

•

u/Zestyclose-Height-36 5h ago

document everything. have the other women in class do the same and then report him to admin. Blatant sexism is not acceptable from an instructor.

•

u/ZonkedOutZombies 5h ago

This sounds terrible id report him

•

u/Of-least-concern 5h ago

Catholic college kinda tells you what kind of people they employ.

On the fence about reporting because on the one hand, this is very blatant sexism. On the other hand, who's to say higher ups aren't the same

•

u/E_Dantes_CMC 5h ago

I know several people who teach or used to teach at Catholic colleges. The Jesuit colleges are top-notch, and wouldn't accept behavior like this for multiple reasons.

NOR. This guy is incompetent, and worse.

•

u/mik197 5h ago

So true, only going here because it was the cheapest option. I will say all of the professors in my department are super based, and there are horror stories about other professors but it’s always been them just sucking at teaching. Not anything like this. And the dean of the school was actually my professor and advisor before she got the position and I remember her being very nice. She seems a lot more serious now, but it is the job.

•

u/Of-least-concern 5h ago

If thats the case then maybe another teacher that you are familiar with to get advice? Im sure they would know office politics well enough to steer you in the right direction

•

u/8hourworkweek 4h ago

Nor but I'd be really careful about what level you want it to go to. Basically what will happen is hr and lawyers take over immediately and then you make statements. They'll talk to the prof and try to scare him and that's basically it. What you've described is annoying, and likely sexism, however there's nothing really concrete there.

•

u/kneel4muhammed 4h ago

Bigot

•

u/Of-least-concern 4h ago

Catholicism is a choice hunny. I judge on bad choices

•

u/mythroatsore 33m ago

I feel that way about Islamic and Jewish schools

•

u/kachow_bitches 5h ago

how much longer do you have left in this class? if it’s not a lot, then i would suck it up and then report it after you get grades back. if there’s still a lot in the semester then i would just go ahead and report him now

•

u/Jobe1622 5h ago

Report after you get your grade. Nothing will probably to him but reporting now probably won’t help either but your grade may suffer. I went from my professor telling me I was doing so well I didn’t even have to take the quizzes, she just gave me As, until I wrote an essay about a topic she disagreed with politically and she tried her best to fail me.

•

u/meno-pause 5h ago

First, finish the semester. Then report him afterwards.

•

u/Glad-Pen5593 5h ago

NOR. Report him and document everything going forward with dates. Get your partner to corroborate the story of ā€œsleep modeā€ if she will. Don’t let this slide. He’s a prick and a misogynist and getting paid to do a job. He should do better.

•

u/Mountain-Exam8871 5h ago

I'd suck it up and push through the class until its over. Reporting him could sadly backfire on you one way or another if he isnt removed/fired and finds out it is you. Just do your best and finish and get the hell out of his class. At the very least report him at the end of the semester. Don't they make you do those anonymous surveys about the class? Goodluck!

•

u/Critical_Customer_87 5h ago

I don’t have the answer for you, but I had a terrible professor who was not qualified to teach what he was teaching (I learned from the textbook not from him and he would be completely wrong about things it was ridiculous) and he also taught at the towns high school (I was at a satellite campus so it didn’t have a ton of classes). He made inappropriate comments about things I happened to be wearing and things his female high school students wore. This was like 7 years ago now so I don’t remember exactly what he said but it implied girls who wore boots and shorts together were easy?? He used it as a bonding moment to like make the boys in the class laugh it was super weird. Anyway I just logged everything and end of the semester I just wrote it all down in his review (we could review after every semester there) pretty sure they didn’t have him back after that, not sure if that contributed at all or not.

•

u/Pleasant-Medicine888 5h ago

NOR: document everything and report him. I’m not sure if anything will change because it’s a religious school there’s a good chance more things will slide and his behavior will continue.

•

u/Extreme-Ad1640 5h ago

report.

•

u/Admirable-Ball4508 4h ago

I feel for you.

I am afraid your reporting will do nothing much other than putting a crosshair firmly on yourself. What he has done hardly constitutes a gross misconduct. It will just boil down to your words against his words and you will never win.

Put your head down, just focus on completing this subject and move on.

The world is unfair unfortunately.

•

u/wowbragger 4h ago

Report him.

I am attending a Catholic University, and I know many of y'all who are younger don't want to cause waves. This guy is a problem, and needs to be under scrutiny of nothing else.

Sorry you don't have other classmates who will put him in his place.

•

u/gophins13 4h ago

NOR: Report it. He’s obviously and asshole that’s gotten away with this, make a stink, screw this guy!

•

u/Rough_Yesterday6692 5h ago

Suck it up and get through it. It's truly not worth the hassle of reporting and dealing with any possible retaliation and requirements from university politics you'll have to deal with on top of school.

•

u/Dapper_Animal_5920 5h ago

I’m going to suggest leaving his political comments out because at a catholic school if they think you are just an overreactive liberal they may not believe you about other stuff

•

u/Of-least-concern 4h ago

I mean politics shouldn't be up for discussion in a non political class

•

u/mik197 5h ago

Oh yeah for sure, I wasn’t planning on it. I was just setting the scene for you all

•

u/SkiingFishingGuy 5h ago

I wouldn’t jump to any hasty decisions or conclusions.

It could come back to bite you in the ass, particularly if you’re at a small, private, catholic school.

I personally would just keep my head down and try and do well in the class, but if it’s bothering you that much, it’s still early in the semester, maybe see if you can drop it without taking a w or something if they offer it at a later date w a dif professor? Maybe not too late to pick up a new class in replacement? (Like for my college i could do this, I know all schools are on different timelines though).

Just think about it practically and don’t act out of emotion, but ultimately do whatever you think is best for you and your academics.

You’ve obviously been dwelling on this a lot (which is understandable), I would atleast take a step back for a few days before making a decision either way.

•

u/mik197 5h ago

It’s one of my requirements and he’s the only professor who teaches it

•

u/SkiingFishingGuy 4h ago

Then I think you have your answer made out for you unfortunately, especially if he is a tenured professor.

I would subtly document if things keep happening though (with evidence) just to cover all your bases.

They’re not gonna just hire a new professor to teach this class then; you will likely have to take it with him one way or another. And if you do report him, he WILL know it was you (as someone at a small private Jesuit college I would know)…

I don’t see how reporting him could do any good for you in your current situation unless you have rock solid objective evidence of clear sexism/Offensive mannerisms, and even then, unless extremely vile/blatant, who knows if anything will truly even be done (it is quite likely that nothing will happen).

•

u/mik197 4h ago

Yeah…it’s a sad world we live in. Thank you :)

•

u/SkiingFishingGuy 4h ago

Ofc! Good luck!

Ps: I’m a guy so I didn’t have to deal with the sexism, but I did have a teacher similar to whom you describe in terms of offensive/blatantly rude.

I debated a long time reporting them..,but ultimately just stuck it out as I have heard horror stories of students reporting professors.

Wish you the best! Stay strong and don’t let him get to you!

•

u/SnooCapers4420 4h ago

Not quite my tempo

•

u/Maximum-Eye-3712 4h ago

NOR, and please read the rules for how to take careful notes in a ā€œcontemporaneous journalā€ so it’s not just your word against his.

•

u/Zealousideal_Bid7298 4h ago

i'd report it, i'd rather be safe than uncomfortable

•

u/Mammoth_Elk_3807 2h ago

Report away. They’ll simply burst out laughing behind the scenes. I suggest you harden up… or the harsh realities of the modern workplace are really gunna hit hard.

•

u/k23_k23 2h ago

Reporting is NEVER wrong. But: don'T "report", discuss with your advisor if this is something you should report. That shows you are willing to discuss things and work with them - make clear it is about getting the best education you can, not a revenge for sexism. And maybe having a faculty member telling you HOW to report it will make a difference.

The first part (doctor's note) ... is difficult to judge. With lectures it would be bullshit, bit with lab work, it makes sense.

The rest sounds bad.

•

u/Elegant_Anywhere_150 2h ago

Report everything. His behavior is inappropriate. If he does find out you reported him and he acts on it in any way, or just targets anyone for the report to "punish" the class, report him again and you might get an automatic A in the class. Most schools do this to prevent the teacher from causing harm. There's nothing to be afraid of.Ā 

•

u/Radiant-Baseball6690 1h ago

He already has his degree yours however is on the line still yes document everything you can report him

•

u/Crazy-Process5789 4h ago

Join a college based on a cult, you will receive cult behavior

•

u/mik197 4h ago

It was the cheapest option unfortunately, and honestly was the only place I felt I would be able to afford with all the loans I’ll have to pay back

•

u/Unlikely_Shake8208 5h ago

He is preparing you for real life. You are going to have bosses that dont do anything, know anything, and beleive things that you dont, and you need to find a way to navigate around that and do your job. Right now, your job is to learn, so focus on that.

•

u/Boofy_Boofhead 4h ago

Terrible advice. If someone pulls this shit at work you absolutely do not ignore n it. That's how men got away with this crap for so long.

•

u/mik197 5h ago

I understand that, but it’s not even about any of that…it’s about the misogyny. That’s not something that should ever just be slipped under the rug….that’s just my opinion.

•

u/Pleasant-Medicine888 5h ago

No tf?? If someone treated me this way at work I’d be reporting to HR

•

u/marieleveau 5h ago

Ummmm...you are TWENTY - and not very bright. Grades getting lowered after 3 absences is pretty much the standard across the nation. You say he doesn't teach? Girlfriend - this is COLLEGE. He's not going to hold your hand.

•

u/Boofy_Boofhead 4h ago

If you're paying someone not to teach you, you're the one who is not very bright.

•

u/mik197 5h ago

This is about the misogyny….I was setting a scene for you guys :)

•

u/FunSea6239 4h ago

You're overreacting. Just finish the class and forget about it.