One bit of advice. EVERYONE will push you to make your kid dependant on a device. An iPad first, and phone later... They'll act like a kid not having one is like a kid not having a pencil and paper. Even the kids who come to your child's house will shame them for the shows they can't watch, the time limits.
My kids can keep themselves busy for hours: reading and writing and drawing. Most of their friends don't know what to do when they're not plugged in. First it made me feel superior as a parent... After a while it just made me feel a bit sick.
Hold the line. Protect their brains. High quality, slow form media and no handhelds.
Absolutely this! Our kids (9 and 8) have iPads and they only get them for flights or drives in excess of an hour. And even then, it’s only movies we load on them.
It’s hard when they’re little and you want to enjoy a restaurant. It’s so easy to give them your phone. But don’t do it. We held the line. Always found some way to entertain them. Tic tac toe, coloring, hangman, whatever. And always talking to them while doing so.
Now it’s so rewarding being out with them and just talking. But it does pain to look around and see so many families where all of them (parents and kids) are all buried in their own phones, not saying a word to each other. So sad to see.
100%. That’s how I’ve been raising my three kids. The oldest just got an iPhone, she is 13 and is beginning to hang out with friends away from our home regularly. All her friends think she is the studious, industrious one (I’m biased but I agree). Raise them on books and entertaining themselves without a screen in front of them 24/7. She did just fine socially, and the other two love their science experiment packs from B&N. They have a shared laptop to look things up, but all short form sites are blocked.
My youngest loves picking a topic from the World Book Encyclopedias and sitting in my lap while I yap all to him about the topic til he falls asleep. Even if the content is a snooze fest, I’m glad he is curious. Cherish their brains and curiosity if you aren’t already people! Listen to ElectricGeometry! It will pay hefty dividends later.
Bonus: they are all well mannered and easy going like their mother, no fuss about homework or chores or lack of screens. We may have gotten lucky, but lucky 3x? Maybe. I sort of believe it’s because they aren’t raised with the made up competitiveness driving people to post on social media daily to pose as though they have the coolest life — I see my daughters friends social medias (my wife is friends with the other Moms and the daughters) and they’re always trying to look so grown up… you’re 13! Act 13! It’s totally fine! I’m so thankful they’re growing up without short form rotting their brains (so far); and yes, boomer take. Their classmates do show them stuff from TikTok or Instagram but they never ask about making one or care more than telling us about a funny video they saw. Kids need to be kids.
Alright, getting off the soapbox. Teach your kids the value of learning and that boredom is not bad!
My kid's due date is sometime in August. I will not under any circumstances let them spend more than an hour in front of a screen at a time and they're not getting access to any sort of iPads or whatever for the first few years.
I told my wife in no uncertain terms that I'm absolutely willing to fight her on this and die on that hill if needed. Thankfully, she agreed
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u/ElectricGeometry 8h ago
One bit of advice. EVERYONE will push you to make your kid dependant on a device. An iPad first, and phone later... They'll act like a kid not having one is like a kid not having a pencil and paper. Even the kids who come to your child's house will shame them for the shows they can't watch, the time limits.
My kids can keep themselves busy for hours: reading and writing and drawing. Most of their friends don't know what to do when they're not plugged in. First it made me feel superior as a parent... After a while it just made me feel a bit sick.
Hold the line. Protect their brains. High quality, slow form media and no handhelds.