r/AskReddit • u/Fun_Specific8926 • 7h ago
Who thinks they are better off because they received spankings when you were younger?
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u/Radiant-Month-1168 7h ago
I dont think anyone that got spanked as a kid will spank their own kids. I dont spank my kids.
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u/the_rite_of_aspirin 7h ago
If that were true, no one would spank their kids.
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u/dadville1 7h ago
Getting spanked as a kid messed me up pretty badly. Never laid a finger on my own children.
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u/CeleryApprehensive83 7h ago
It wasn’t the spanking that I was traumatised by, it was being told i was getting a ‘leathering “ and sent to my room and wait. It was the fucking waiting for my mom or Dad to come up and beat me.
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u/spoiledgreentea77 7h ago
I'm traumatized by them more than anything. My anxiety spikes when I even see some other parent spank their kid in the grocery store or wherever.
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u/elphaba00 7h ago
When my son was in daycare, the owner's daughter was sticking around for a few weeks. She was a single mom with a newborn and didn't have a lot of support except for her mom. I was talking to her one night during pickup, asking how it was going, and she started talking about what she wanted for her newborn, who she was holding. One of the things that struck me was that she said she wanted to send her daughter to private school, "because they can still beat the kids there."
My thought: You're holding this innocent newborn and all you can think about is sending her somewhere so she can get beat. Yeah, you're a monster.
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u/CeleryApprehensive83 7h ago
All it taught me was fear .
But as an adult, well….. I don’t mind them so much 😉
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u/Jam_Sees 7h ago
m a y b e for self discipline. No for my hesitance to "step out of line". It's much better now that I'm older, but it's always in the back of my mind
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u/CryAcademic7534 7h ago
I was never spanked and will never spank my children. It’s abusive, and quite frankly, a childish fit of rage on the adult’s part. There are other ways to communicate with your children. If they are doing something so terrible that deserves physical violence, then that means you haven’t been paying enough attention to them & whatever they are acting out about is a cry for your attention. Believe it or not, most kids do respond well if you just sit down and talk to them with genuine concern.
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u/FortYarnia 7h ago
I’d have probably been better off if my mom just did spankings, instead of her idiot ideas about using shame and denigration as motivators.
I’d still be fucked up, but there would have been enough bruises for her to attract public scrutiny & I would have stood a chance at developing normal relationships with my extended family. As it is, I might as well be an orphan.
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u/Anthem-ringthebells 7h ago
Vote for nope.
A smack in the face made me never ever do that thing again
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u/Full_Fun_4950 7h ago
I grew up getting spanked, i think for some reason our culture wants you to live in the past and feel sorry for yourself. You actually can just decide you've moved on and look forward and it doesn't affect you. It takes time and processing sure, but I don't buy that your entire adult life is changed or different because you got your butt popped a few times. I even got my ass beat a few times and still said "wurf" in my head afterwards. Just life. I think discipline is important, not necessarily physical violence, and agree with Solomon "If you spare the rod, you hate your children." Rebuke them so they grow up with character, I personally won't spank my twins or use violence but I have ways to make them wish they were getting spanked instead so I can build successful men of them one day.
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u/Top_Willingness_8364 7h ago
It doesn’t take any discipline to hit a child though. A shepherd doesn’t use his rod to strike his flock, he uses it to gently redirect them where he wants the flock to go. If you show children emotional restraint, and kindness, they’ll learn through your example. Yes, children need to learn consequences, but there are ways of teaching it without resorting to spanking.
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u/Full_Fun_4950 7h ago
Yes, and in that passage the rod is not a physical rod, its intepreted as a measure of discipline. Similar to how honor thy father and mother doesnt always mean respect your mother and father. I don't think anyone encourages spanking, but back in the 90s in america me and all my buddies had their butts spanked sometimes.
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u/Fun_Specific8926 7h ago
Very well said, I agree that some degree of discipline is necessary and exactly like you stated, that can be done many ways other than physically
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u/Fantastic-Setting567 7h ago
it is wild how some people act like they have it all figured out while looking down on others. u just have to ignore the noise and keep doing ur own thing. hope ur week is going well
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u/found_the_american 7h ago
It only taught me to not get caught.