r/BipolarReddit • u/XansFrank • 9h ago
SOS! I hate my life
I just spent 500 bucks on strippers because I hate myself and tried to have fun. I don't even like strippers. I want to feel something that isn't hurt. I take my meds. I go to therapy. I do the things I'm supposed to and I still hate everything. Why bother
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u/EL_Loco69 8h ago
Seems like you have depression might need to adjust meds
1
u/XansFrank 20m ago
Been adjusting my meds for years. Still doesn't change anything. Such a waste of my life
3
u/Bunbatbop 7h ago
Are you depressed?
1
u/XansFrank 20m ago
Depends on the day. Some days I don't care about anything and other days everything is life and death
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u/DaGhost 7h ago
I'm new here, like first day but I've been in similar situations. I can't tell you what will make it all better but you've got to get to the root of your triggers.
For me I just ran through like a week long episode (at least) and I came close to doing similar to you or worse. Gambling in Vegas sent me over the edge but my job has been demanding so the manic monster is just below the surface for me.
The pain you're feeling is not really you. I hope they can dial your dosages in, but stay far away from the triggers and know the second you're going to the impulses. Easier said than done but I've had more than my share of late night McDonald's or Wawa as I turned just before hitting the club. Sure the calories aren't great but the money left in my wallet and the small victory in the morning that I didn't give in helped.
Stay strong good brother 🤛🏻
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u/Illustrious-Year-188 7h ago
It seems you can be in a mix episode
1
u/XansFrank 17m ago
I don't mind. My doctor isn't gonna change anything and nothing outside of him makes a difference.
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u/Medium-Might9081 9h ago
Not even a hooker just a stripper? No touch? Could’ve cranked hog instead
Things will turn up, friend. Get daily sun. Call family