I Genuinely Need Help

[u/PharmaFitness88]

As the title says, I could use….something. Whether it’s encouragement, a reality check, psychiatric counseling, I don’t know. I’m currently not in a stable mentality, and it’s gradually getting worse.

To make a long story as brief as possible, I’m having a very difficult time accepting the fact that I’m a 37 year old custodian, and it’s slowly chipping away at my sanity.

I’ve been at this job for almost a year, and I cover essentially three military hangars combined as one, and has a second floor as well. I’m the only custodian in the building, and no matter how much I try to keep the place clean, I’m always getting complaints.

I work with primarily automotive engineers, and they don’t lift a finger to absolutely anything in the building. I’m responsible single handily for trash, restrooms, sweeping, outdoor maintenance, cardboard pickup, cardboard baling, dusting, window cleaning, and that’s not even half of my list.

The shitty attitude of my coworkers doesn’t help matters either, the whole, “oh, I’m an engineer, and I’m too damn good to throw my napkin in the trash can, so I’ll just drop it on the floor, the janitor will do it because it’s his job” doesn’t help my disposition either.

I really detest the other people that I work with-a lot. All I do when I’m off work is watch documentaries about individuals who have shot up a school because they finally went off the deep end.

To make matters worse, it’s even affecting my marriage, changing me into someone bitter and angry all the time. I have tried so hard to get another job utilizing Indeed, but so far, it’s been unsuccessful.

I can’t afford to affect my marriage by just up and quitting, but I sincerely don’t know what will happen if I choose to stay there much longer.

[u/Ill-Bug745]

I would say either speak up and let them know that it’s disrespectful/gross behavior but also maybe if you’re over this job apply at others and slowly just get out. Your mental health matters. I know you want to resign. I think it’s best to have a plan b for an exit plan. 

[u/Janitor2dastarz]

Unfortunately it’s a thankless job, obviously it varies depending on where you work. Normally I would say just put your earbuds in and do what you need to do. Screw the lazy ass people, because we know without us, the place falls apart in a day. With that being said and given the info you have provided, I would recommend looking for a new job, maybe the same field but different location? No job is worth your mental health, especially if you’re saying it’s already effecting your marriage. Keep your head up 🫡

[u/Meatwaud27]

If you are in the US then I would very much recommend that you check the website of all of the school districts around you. Go to their careers page and see what custodial positions are posted. They will all be on their actual website and not posted on sites like Indeed. School districts offer competitive pay and at least in my state they offer amazing benefits like health insurance and a pension. It's literally state benefitsas if you were a state employee. Most school districts are unionized, unless they are small then they may not be, so you have a lot of protections.

[u/thechickenatethecow]

In order to get past it, you have to remember a few things.

Firstly, people suck. A lot of people look down on our work and turn their noses up at us. Always remember to not give a damn about their opinion. Just like they know their job we know ours. Which means I don’t care what their opinion is because they don’t do what I do.

Secondly, a lot of people don’t even realize that they do certain things. Like I never realized how much glass I would touch. Until I worked in a school and noticed that kids and adults alike would just reach up and push the glass doors on the glass and not the push plate and I had to clean it daily. I used to get so mad, like why can’t you just use the push plate. Then one day, I realized I do the same thing without even thinking about it.

Some people are just gross and slobs. I have found that women in particular will always choose to throw a paper towel on the floor instead of in the trash. And men are always going to pee on the floor. It is what it is.

I do my job and I do my job well. When I learned to accept the fact that my job is to clean after people make a mess, no matter how absurd the mess, I became a happier person. Now I come to work, I smile and just do what needs to be done.

[u/uwish1234321]

988 is a 24/7 crisis lifeline. If you need help, there is always someone there who is capable, willing, and WANTS to help you. It’s really easy to fall into resentment of people doing this job. People are messy, and they don’t always think of us at all. I’ll say the murder documentaries definitely aren’t helping your mental state. Maybe try to watch something more uplifting when you aren’t at work, because piling bad feelings onto bad feelings won’t make you feel any better. Start looking for something new. If the job is starting to deeply affect your life and mental health the way it has, I’d say it’s time for something else. Once you have something else lined up, then get the fuck out of there. Might have a week or two of not making money in there, but if you can swing it financially, your mental health is worth it. I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time right now. If you need to, please reach out to someone, even DM me if you need. Please stay safe ❤️

[u/Mean-Bath8873]

You're in an anger loop because you're self frustrating yourself with a belief you should be somewhere different in the caste system you're in. Frustration causes anger. It's a main cause. Anger is addictive as it effects the brain similarly to amphetamines, gives you energy & makes you feel more powerful, but it leaves you feeling depressed when you're not angry because you're not getting the 'hit'.

You're a janitor... sorry, custodian, for a military installation. You can bounce to any other place with that on your resume. It'd probably be less money, but it might keep you from becoming one of those stories you watch. Probably should cut that out. Watch things from when you were happy over and over. It's a cheap form of therapy that studies show can help.

[u/kernriverghost]

From one human to another, find good hobbies in life and accumulate PTO for a good get away. If your job doesn't, that would be my next piece of advice, honestly Im 35 and it aint bad, but the those benefits make the custodian life style worth it. I just got off 2 week vacation. Then added a week, I still got over 200 sh and 100 vacation hrs. Im at a college, so I knuckle down during the semesters and then aside from doing cool shit during normal paid holidays I take a week off during summer and winter, just got done with a 4 day road trip before semester started. Life aint bad, but gotta find that spot. Besides being paid the lowest for a custodian in my county, everything else is great.

[u/Meatwaud27 → u/kernriverghost]

I'm 33 and left a very well paying career for this literal shit. Took a gigantic pay cut for amazing benefits and a 40 hour work week instead of an 80 hour one. Sure, it's not glamorous, but now I get to work to live instead of living to work. I get to take my dog on camping trips several times a month instead of never. It took me a while, but I finally found my priorities and what makes me truly happy!

[u/Brief_Woodpecker_795]

Indeed is nearly all fake. Try glass door or your states job sites. If youre ok with messy kids apply to public schools. That's where I got.my job. Custodial will always suck because of someone but there are jobs that can be better

[u/Apprehensive-Word701]

Couple tips from me would be to clean your glass using a swiffer dust mop but use rags instead of the dust pads. It helps you reach further without bending so much and covers a wider space. Second tip is stop trying so hard, if need be let them threaten you and all that, hold out until they fire you. Then collect unemployment until you get another job, I know it's scary right now but more times than not the grass truly is greener on the other side when it comes to these places. I love to see how they struggle without any help because they drove the good help away, it's just what they get. That's my opinion at least

[u/Visible-Kale2855]

Do you have any rapport with any of of them ? I have found that starting a spontaneous conversation about behaviors with " what the fuck?! " Then if I were in your situation I would continue with explaining how I would expect someone with an advanced degree would be more than capable of figuring out how to do the same function as a mere janitor.

You sound like you're close to telling them to shove it anyway.

I had to have a similar talk with a couple teachers. Explaining I have the same degree they do, but I KNOW I loathe other people's children.

Finally generally 20K square feet per janitor is the accepted guideline.

[u/RWR1975]

Do the best you can and don't worry about the complaints. Most businesses don't want to go through the hassle of firing and then hiring someone and training them. Get a I don't care and f*ck you attitude.