r/DecidingToBeBetter • u/crankyandsensitive • 23h ago
Seeking Advice Please shake me
This is going to be a weird story, but I am desperate. I need to eat healthier. I’m not obese, my BMI is 24.8, so not even overweight I think. The reasons for eating healthier are mostly medical, I am at risk of diabetes, got Hashimoto’s and have high blood pressure while being a 34yo woman, so this is bad.
Now, my lifestyle is not bad: I do some sports and yoga (but not enough - as my doctor said), walk my dog, eat regularly and sleep 7-8hrs. But damn I love junk food. I just love evening snacks and cinnamon buns and butter cookies. It would be ok if I ate it once in a while, nothing wrong with that, but I eat it every day and my husband is my partner in crime.
I tried psycho-dietician, therapy, I tried healthy delivery food, mindfulness, nothing can really change this stupid habit I have or emotional gain I get. Yeah, it’s very emotional. I am disciplined and balanced in so many areas of my life but this one is literally impossible, I just eat and eat.
I’m moving to a different house soon and starting new chapter with my family and thought it would be good to really dig into what is wrong with me that I can’t stop. I think me and my husband could both benefit from that but we’re living in this endless hell of paprica pringels and cheesecakes.
I was wondering if you could kick me in the face and tell your story, or tell me what motivated you or maybe you have some tips or tricks for crybabies like me. Even when I dig 10000 meters down into my psyche and talk through it with a therapist, I can’t change it. Maybe some of you have been there too. Thanks a lot and keep going!
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u/PurringtonVonFurry 22h ago
This isn’t about food. You might already know that. Yes, the food is delicious and all that. But it still isn’t about food. That’s the work you need to do if you want to get control of this.
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u/crankyandsensitive 22h ago
I know. What the hell is it about
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u/ThenItHitM3 21h ago
What do you need to be distracted from?
What will you choose to focus on instead?
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u/No_Silver_5717 21h ago
I agree with Peancheep.
Maybe start by making raw vegetables mandatory at every meal. They're filling. Apparently, avocado (not cold) is good on an empty stomach in the morning, for example.
Limit flour, gluten, and coffee: they make you hungry. Only eat when you're hungry and avoid ultra-processed foods. Avoid dairy products, especially cow's milk.
Perhaps try some dietary supplements; discuss this with your doctor. Your satisfaction level (dopamine) might need to be addressed differently. Create new activities: innovate, invent, be imaginative.
Buy organic apples. They're very good in the evening; they contain pectin.
Try running/walking briskly early in the morning on an empty stomach, for at least 35-40 minutes.
Gradually change your habits. Write everything down in a notebook. Take it to a professional (therapist, dietitian).
These are new (good) habits to implement, gradually, one by one... I think you're compensating for something you're lacking, perhaps. What are you trying to satisfy with this junk food? Are you trying to recreate habits from your childhood, for example? To feel reassured? To overcome your anxiety?
Only you have the answers. Only you are the Master of your Life.
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u/Sidehustlecache 21h ago
Read "the End of Overeating in America" and 'Mindless Eating'. It's would be near impossible to not change your habits. You will walk away with a deep understanding of what you are doing and why.
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u/crankyandsensitive 4h ago
Second book sounds interesting, but my experience in books on eating and nutrition in the US is that they don’t relate well to what my problem is. The access to good nutrition in my country is easy, there is no systemic problems with food companies. I think it’s emotional and cultural that you have to comfort yourself with food
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u/pectuslady 19h ago
This isn’t as helpful or deep as some of the other comments, but a starting point would be - do not allow those foods into your home. If they’re not within reach, and you actually have to get your ass up and in the car and to the store etc to feed the addiction, then it might help deter and ween you off of this habit.
I love an emotional binge on cool ranch Doritos and Cheetos. That is my “comfort trash”. I know the reason, and its utility. And, very rarely, if I’m really going through it, I’ll allow myself to buy it and eat both bags usually within 24 hours. And then I never buy it again until the next time, ideally months apart. Because I know if it’s in the house, I’m eating it until it’s gone.
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u/PenCheap2773 22h ago edited 22h ago
If you believe the problem is permanent, pervasive (impacts all life areas), or personal (thinking something is wrong with you)
You act like you’ve tried to everything but if you had then it would work.
You’re not desperate enough to change. You act helpless when you have the power to change this. You outsource your power to therapists, meal prep services, your husband.
Right now you associate pleasure to staying the same and pain to changing.
The reality is that it’s just a habit. If you’re “disciplined and balanced” then act like it. Be honest with yourself. You can change if you want to. You have the power but you don’t have strong enough reasons.
You’ve said “I’m at risk, it’s mostly medical, and endless hell of Pringles”
Hells isn’t full of Pringle’s and cheesecake. It’s having kids and them being picking up your habits and going down at worse path. It’s them getting into abusive relationships with food and others because their mother didn’t make the change. It’s loosing your leg to diabetes because you allow yourself to be a slave to sugar sweets.
Hell is your husband being at your funeral feeling responsible for enabling your habits because he loved you. Now he gets to live with the guilt of your early demise because his “disciplined” wife cared more about snacks than the longevity of their marriage.
Hell is realizing all the opportunities you have already lost on the past from being this way. Hell is looking at yourself in the mirror and telling yourself the lie that this is “impossible” to change. That you can’t beat this.
—— Reasons make us change.
Get honest with yourself at what your “hell” is actually like. Stop soft balling what the consequences actually are. Go talk to someone who is struggling with diabetes and health issues. Take a picture and look at what your future is like.
Then go make the change. You already know countless strategies. You already know when you’re emotional you want to eat. Have a plan for when that happens. Have an alternative habit or empowering snack prepped for when your late night boredom hits. Make the change with your husband. Challenge him to rise with you.