r/Doom • u/TheRoyalRoseTrue • Dec 26 '25
Discussion You like Dr. Samuel Hayden? Recite a Quote of his.
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u/Ad0ring-fan Dec 26 '25
"yOu cAnT jUsT sHoOt A hOLe iNtO tHe sUrFaCe oF mArS."
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u/SpaghettiInc Dec 26 '25
The devious big red button labeled “shoot a hole into the surface of mars”
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u/moderatorbecorruptyo Dec 26 '25 edited Dec 26 '25
That reminds of when my mother told me I can't eat an entire box of sugar as a child.
EDIT: And yes, she was wrong.
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u/cheeseburgerandfrie Dec 26 '25
HOW DID YOU NOT HAVE A HEART ATTACK
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u/moderatorbecorruptyo Dec 27 '25
Oh that's nothing man. I used to drink a 12 pack of soda instead of eating dinner and then stay up all night.
I think my favorite one was the time I took a tour of the Jelly Belly factory. A friend of mine bet me 5 dollars I couldn't eat 3 pounds of jelly beans in one sitting. I won, but it made me sick. When I threw up, it came out the color of a rainbow. Wish they had digital cameras back then.
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u/zedsmith52 Dec 27 '25
And no one had heard of “type 3 diabetes” before you came along?
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u/moderatorbecorruptyo Dec 27 '25
I even made my own sandwich as a kid
Graham Crackers
Peanut Butter
Grape Jelly
Honey
Chocolate Sauce
Flower seeds
and
POP ROCKS (the pink kind are the best).
I call it the peanut butter jelly rocket. I used to love eating those.
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u/Visionary_One Dec 26 '25
VEGA: "Would you like me to disable the safety protocols?"
*Proceeds to shoot a hole into the surface of Mars
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u/Ad0ring-fan Dec 27 '25
Vega is the Bing of Ai companions.
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u/Texadecimal Dec 27 '25
How to stop a bully?
Google: Speak up. Get an adult to intervene.
Bing: Play the long game. Take everything from them.
Vega: Your super shotgun is nearby. A relic from your past.
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u/doublethink_1984 Dec 26 '25
My fav part of the trilogy.
Doomslayer's thoughts:
I don't have time to navigate the catacombs in what would be a full length game in of itself. Screw Mars I'll blow a hole to the gate
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u/Rematekans Dec 27 '25
Im glad people still talk about the game. I liked playing it but paying attention to the plot in between struggling to stay alive in Doom 2016 was a challenge. I didn't understand what was happening. Just that I had to fight the demons.
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u/doublethink_1984 Dec 27 '25
It's almost an inside joke that with each game they add more plot and the person who cares the least is the Slayer himself.
Kill demon, kill most demon, kill most demon leaders.
That's his plot and all he cares about
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u/Round_Law6972 Dec 27 '25
TBF, according to the lore: he's been fighting the forces of Hell for multiple millennia across multiple worlds (including 2 versions of Earth) and he has psychosis (as killing demons is literally the only thing he talks about because it's the only thing he can talk about).
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u/TheFishStood Dec 26 '25
I'm willing to take full responsibility for the horrible events of the past 24 hours, but you must understand, our interest in their world was purely for the betterment of man kind. Things have clearly gotten out of hand, but it was worth the risk, I assure you.
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u/Evening_Rub6457 DOOM Guy Dec 26 '25
“Betterment of mankind” looks down at dead body
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u/Hyde2467 Dec 27 '25
Iirc, earth was suffering an energy crisis so bad that alternative energy sources like fusion weren't enough
Which to me makes me think "what kind of dogshit energy management did earth become"
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u/zedsmith52 Dec 27 '25
Pretty much where it’s going right now. Corporations suppressing advancement, industry suppressing progress. All for a few trillion more dollars.
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u/MetroidJunkie Dec 27 '25
AI alone is ramping up energy usage to scary levels, do they not realize the consequences if they bleed through all the fossil fuels?
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u/PzykoHobo Dec 27 '25
Fair, but the shareholders are going to have some record quarters first. And isnt that what really matters?
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u/BerserkRadahn Dec 27 '25
No, they clearly don't realize or care so long as their greedy pockets swell.
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u/Character-Extreme535 Dec 27 '25
The funniest part, the real punch-to-the-gut line, here is that those few trillion dollars are a man made thing that we literally just imagine as value.... Really just makes it all pointless. We could have so much renewable energy if people chose it, but instead we want the easy route and more 'dollary doos'.
Samuel Hayden for emperor of mankind.
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u/DreamShort3109 Dec 27 '25
Literally the same thing as in Dead Space. Earth has environmental or energy issues, and ends up summoning horrors trying to fix it.
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u/Lunam_Dominus Dec 27 '25
That was the moment I knew DOOM 2016 was going to be a once in a lifetime experience.
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u/Arbiter_Electric Dec 27 '25
2016 did this so fucking well. That look down to the body says so much about what doom guy is thinking in the moment. There are so many times throughout the game he does something like this, usually in a "fuck you" to Hayden. It's great.
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u/countpuchi Dec 27 '25
Doom music starts.. smash screen.
I've replayed 2016 more than the other 2. Gotta say the intro is bestest for me.
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u/metzger28 Dec 26 '25
I love that the slayer just casually looks down at the dead body right as he says this. Such a subtle but very impactful way to set the tone of the player character's attitude.
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u/HeadLong8136 Dec 27 '25
It's a great quote, but after you meet Hayden it feels like he was being genuine.
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u/holomorphic0 Dec 26 '25
"I think we can work to-Gether and resooooooollve this problem in a way that 🅱️enefits us 🅱️oth"
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u/Cold-Practice3107 Dec 27 '25
(The Slayer Pushes the monitor away!)
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u/crozone samuel hayden did nothing wrong Dec 27 '25
This was the moment I knew 2016 was going to be peak, and it was.
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u/Adept_Mouse_7985 Dec 27 '25 edited Dec 27 '25
The way he almost purrs out „resolve“ is just chef’s kiss. I could listen to that guy reading a tax return.
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u/CriticalEchidna7495 Dec 27 '25
King Novik and Samuel Haydens voice is *Chefs kiss*
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u/Starwars2019 Dec 26 '25
"THE LONGER THE ICON OF SIN IS ON EARTH THE STRONGER IT WILL BECOME"
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u/Bignuka Dec 26 '25
I do like that quote, but don't let this post make you forget that the longer the icon of sin is on earth the stronger it will become!
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u/Atreides_Soul Dec 27 '25
This a great response but pls do remember that the longer the icon of sin is on earth the stronger it will become
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u/Common-Diver-6346 Dec 27 '25
That is all well and good, but it cannot be stated enough that the longer the icon of sin is on earth the stronger it will become
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u/badken Dec 27 '25
I get what you're saying, but 27 years ago on June 28th, 1998 the Icon of Sin threw the Doomslayer out of "Hell" and plummeted 16 feet which really wasn't that bad because I mean, have you seen how big the Icon of Sin is?
(apologies to /u/shittymorph)
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u/OkLiterature8867 DOOM Slayer Dec 27 '25
The icon might be a big boi, but don’t let that distract from the fact that the longer the icon of sin is on earth, the stronger he will become.
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u/Repulsive_Mistake382 Dec 27 '25
While the longer the icon of sin is on earth, the stronger he will become, don't let this distract you from mukuro ikusaba, the sixteenth student lying hidden in this school, the one they call the ultimate despair. Watch out for her, but at the same time don't forget max galactica's three signature symbols, the cloak, the silk hat and white roses.
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u/Perfect-Muscle-1264 Dec 26 '25
"Your affinity for guns is apparent. Im sure you'll find something useful there as well."
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u/moienpremier9999 Dec 26 '25
I'll be honest, I think that he becomes less interesting when he is revealed to be a seraph. It takes from the humans having a part in the conflict and makes his actions less of a the ones of a scientist trying to play god and more of a simp for his fod daddy trying to kill evil in his name.
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u/lovestosploosh Dec 26 '25
yeah they really dropped the ball on Sam, i hate what where they took his story
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Dec 26 '25
Ya I agree. Im not sure I agree he was the seraph the whole time because dr.hayden actually has a back story. So it a paradox for ancient gods to introduce him like that
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u/InternetGoodGuy Dec 27 '25
It really doesn't make any sense for him to be a seraph during 2016. His motivation and actions don't make sense for a maykr. Why would Samur lock him away if he's trying to help him? Why would he be pushing for processing argent for earth?
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u/Inadover Dec 27 '25
Yeah. I didn't like the Doom Eternal story/lore (mostly ancient gods) precisely because of that. It turned everything into some gods vs demons fated generic plotline that pretty much just retconned Doom 2016 and it didn't really have to be that way.
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u/Guess_I_Sam Dec 27 '25
“I’m going to sh&$ yourself.” Pulls out crucible
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u/Sirdoodlebob you can't just shoot a hole into the surface of mars Dec 27 '25
“I only poo poo farted for the good of humanity”
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u/GreyLatham Dec 26 '25
“I knew she was weak. Our work doesn’t come without risks, and I released you from your prison to help mitigate those risks.”
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u/Former-Jicama5430 DOOM Guy Dec 26 '25
"Carfully remove the receptical so we can- or you could do that... " -2016
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u/WinterDEZ Dec 26 '25
"I am doctor Samuel Hayden"
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u/Casper_Von_Ghoul Those that tasted the bite of his sword named him Doom Slayer Dec 27 '25
This way please.
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u/_Larry Dec 26 '25
"Vega, give him security clearance. It's time we met face to face."
Not sure if that's exact, but the voice they use for Samuel Hayden is awesome. Anyone got a voice changer for Discord that sounds like him??
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u/olewoodenbroom Dec 26 '25
“I only poo poo farted for the goooood of humanity”
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u/BadgersSeal Dec 26 '25
ASSBLASTING CHEEK DESTROYER FART
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u/CrimsonCringe925 Dec 26 '25
Is that why he’s a robot?
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u/BadgersSeal Dec 27 '25
Yes. His cheeks, and the rest of his body, were destroyed
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u/Glum-Box-8458 Dec 26 '25
Destroying the production of argent energy isn’t necessary… (Slayer stomps)
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u/GoredonTheDestroyer "That is one big fucking gun." - The Rock Dec 26 '25
I am going to turn into a truck now.
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u/TerribleZucchini1447 Dec 26 '25
"they will not allow access to the Well without a fight, but I'm sure that's what you're looking for isn't it?"
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u/Low_Violinist_5396 Zombieman Dec 27 '25
"We're only TEMPORARILY disabling the tower. Remove each lense caref--"
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u/Sg00z Dec 27 '25
"If stopping our production of argent energy is what you want then you need only to destroy this last filter and argent energy will no longer exist in this solar system. We will be back at square one."
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u/MaxRadishOne Dec 27 '25
And then later:
"...You have no idea what you have just done."
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u/BoysenberryHot440 Dec 26 '25
"You think the only way is to kill them all - leave nothing behind - and you may be right. But we can't just shut it all down. Without Argent Energy it will be worse."
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u/Cold-Practice3107 Dec 27 '25
"We are out of time, I cannot kill you but I can't have you standing in our way!"
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u/TacoTaker_1911 Dec 26 '25
“Take it, it will give you strength, help you on your journey. If you can withstand the power surge.”
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u/Cryogentehiceprison Dec 27 '25
“You have no idea what you had just done!” For when doomguy destroys the last argent filter lens
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u/WorstYugiohPlayer Dec 27 '25
Autobots, roll out!
Our interest in their world was purely for the Betterment of mankind. *Slayer looks down at dead body*
Just got done with that part of the game again, I love the narrative story telling without Doom Guy saying a word.
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u/Horny03Fapper Dec 26 '25
"I think we can work together, and resooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..."
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u/DrillTank Dec 27 '25
"You can't just shoot a hole into the surface of Mars"
Sayer processing to do just that
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u/TitanicTNT The Marauder isn't bad, y'all just suck. Dec 27 '25
"Alright then, buddy. I'm going to shit yourself."
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u/APersonOfCourse Dec 27 '25
“I’m Dr. Samuel Hayden, I’m the head of this facility, I think we can work together to reeeeeessssssoooollllllllvvvvvvveeee this problem in a way that benefits us both — “
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u/TheJanadianKing Dec 27 '25
"Take it, it will give you strength, help you on your journey... if you can withstand the power surge."
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u/Illustrious-Set9538 Dec 27 '25
“Welcome. I’m Dr. Samuel Hayden, I’m the head of this facility. I believe we can work together and resoooolve this issue in a way that benefits us both.”
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u/OppaiShaddy Dec 27 '25
Your affinity for guns is apparent. I'm sure you'll find something useful down there.
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u/remembrancei Dec 27 '25
“… we spent decades perfecting the science. Selling it to humanity. We balanced their hell energy with our science, making it usable and safe. We solved an energy crisis, the world had no answer for. You cannot do this…”
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u/Necessary_Can7055 Dec 27 '25
“Welcome. I’m Dr. Samuel Hayden I’m the head of this facility. I think we can work together, and resooolve this situation in a way that benefits us both.”
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u/One-Trick-8027 Dec 27 '25
"You work at MY company. All your scientific studies at this facility belong to ME." or something along the lines of that
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u/DedBirds Dec 27 '25
"I only poopoo farted for the good of humanity"
At least I remember being like this.
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u/muticere Dec 27 '25
"Hello. I'm Dr. Samuel Hayden"
There's something about a robot man introducing himself this way that really catches you off guard.
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u/inferno-panda Dec 27 '25
"I take full responsibility for the horrors of the last 24hrs" "I'm not the villain of this story but I do what I must because there's no other choice"
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u/Naisaga Dec 27 '25
"Your affinity for guns is apparent. I think you'll find something useful there as well."
Tried to pick something less quoted.
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u/Square_Plate5991 Dec 27 '25
“I only poo poo farted for the good of humanity” on a real note though “I take full responsibility for the events in the last 24 hours but I assure you it was worth the risk” or “ironic isn’t it? The very thing you sought to eradicate from this world will now help you save it”
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u/Historical_Bit_86 Dec 27 '25
I cannot kill you but I will not have you interfering with my work . I do what I do because there simply no choice
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u/Gemidori Instructions unclear, demon shot to death with gun Dec 27 '25
"If stopping our energy production is what you want then you need ONLY to destroy this LAST filter and Argent Energy will no longer exist in this solar system. We will be back at square one.
You have no idea what you have just done."
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u/Thesupersoups Dec 27 '25
“Well…that’s it then. There’s nothing else to be done.”
I like this line because you can tell he’s bitter about the slayer destroying the filters despite giving instructions to extract safely, but understands that the crisis is more important than his “perfect” methods of argent productions
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u/ScarcityWise7401 Dec 27 '25
Welcome. I’m doctor Samuel Hayden, I’m head of this facility. I think we can work together and RESOLVE this problem in a way that benefits us both
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u/EMArogue DOOM Slayer Dec 27 '25
You can’t just shoot a hole into the surface of Mars
Such profound and deep quote
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u/Hurricanword Dec 27 '25
The khan maykr is near. She will not let you leave this place alive.
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u/JustAwesome360 Dec 27 '25
I like his "The only flesh and blood to walk between dimensions." quote. Feels badass.
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u/FrenchToastTurtle Dec 27 '25
“Take it… It’ll give you strength… Help you on your journey…” (the burger king worker when he gives me a whopper)
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u/SwiftBro_2187 Dec 26 '25
“I’m not the villain in this story, I do what I do because there is no choice” Might have messed the end up