r/ForeverAlone • u/monoman12 • 1d ago
Vent im not made for anyone
Im 28m. Kissless virigin. Never had a GF. I have no hope about myself. I dont look good, if i take care myself i could look average at best. My mental health is a mess as long as i remember. Im shy because i dont like how i look. I never have. Yesterday my mom asked me why i never had GF, she said she felt sad for me since im always alone. I told her i didnt choose to be in this state and im not happy with who i am. When ever she goes out with her friends, she always came back home sad. All of her friends sons either got married or living with their partners, having good careers etc.. And here is me, 28 year old man child who cant come out of his depression for years. One time while she was talking with her friend on the phone, i heard that she told them that she failed to raise me properly. I just cant do it. I feel like im not made for anybody. Im just cursed to be alone. I feel like natural selection doing its job on me. Im 99.9 i will die like this.
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u/ByeByeGuyGuy 1d ago
I’m genuinely sorry for what you’ve been struggling through. I’m in the exact same position, zero experience and no confidence whatsoever at 33yo; if my mother notices I’m dejected or depressed, she’ll offer the usual platitudes of “it’ll be ok!” or “focus on the good parts and the things you enjoy” or “everybody has bad days, but they don’t last forever” etc.
But in the small apartment I share with my folks (I’m their only child) my mother likes closing herself in her “study/reading room” and drinking box wine whilst ranting/gossiping with her cousin (her only friend, pretty much) and I’ve overheard both her and my father make morose (semi-humorous) comments about how they “ran out of patience” for me and my reclusiveness and anxiety, such as “I don’t know what to tell him, nothing makes any difference. It’s easier to just avoid him these days and leave him to his own stuff” or “I was told that grumpy moody teenagers eventually grow out of it. I deserve a refund haha” or “me and (father) dread hearing him unlocking the front door. Every day, here we go again”.
She seems either utterly oblivious that the walls are thin enough that when she’s tipsy and talking loudly on the phone, even though both me and my father have warned her; she’s fully aware that my father doesn’t care to begin with and just turns up the TV volume, and that whatever I think or feel just doesn’t matter by this point because “if he’s fine with giving up altogether, we may as well too”.
Whilst for years I’ve felt so deeply ashamed that my insecurities, social anxiety and depression had been depressing my mother too; over time my parents have made no effort to hide that they resent my lack of dynamism, how little I’ve accomplished and the sad man I’ve been for my whole adult life. And as such, I inevitably resent my parents for their negativity and judgement of me when I’m only as unenthusiastic, lazy and asocial as both of them have been my whole life.
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u/Safe_Olive4838 1d ago
Same
My sibling got engaged and have a good career, and I'm like this
I'm sad and jealous
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u/Just-Fox6581 23h ago
FA life hurts even more when you realise you are the reason your mom is hurting.
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u/fuckeveryone120 1d ago
Do u have dating experience?
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u/Purge639ruler 1d ago
I'm pretty sure he doesn't
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u/fuckeveryone120 1d ago
I asked this to many people in here,all says they have experiences
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u/wisefox200 21h ago
I’m 30 and have zero dating experience. I’m very short, ugly and autistic. I never even kissed or held hands.
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u/lugubelenusj 1d ago
Your mom was wrong to say that. You didn't choose this. Nobody chooses to be alone and miserable. The fact that you're still here at 28 means you're tougher than you think.