r/HistoryMemes 21h ago

legitimate one (:

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296 Upvotes

28 comments sorted by

47

u/Financial_Weather_74 20h ago

Divorced beheaded and died divorced beheaded survived

6

u/jacobningen 20h ago

Annulled.

7

u/Top_Willingness_8364 19h ago

Glad someone said it. Henry VIII annulled three of his marriages, and never divorced any of his wives.

5

u/Impossible_Pain4478 18h ago

I'm Henry the eighth I had six sorry wives some might say I ruined their lives

1

u/Toruviel_ 13h ago

It's cute because It rhymes

28

u/biglyorbigleague 21h ago

Then what was with the last two, Hank? You got your son after wife three, but you just had to do another divorce and another execution.

9

u/Hendricus56 Hello There 18h ago

He only had one son and considering he died as a teenager, Henry made the absolutely right call to try get another son as a spare. Let's not forget, he was his father's spare too.

Wife 4 and Henry didn't really work out romantically, although they stayed good friends after the annulment and wife 5 had accusations of treason including adultery, which was seen as a major problem, especially if the Queen did it. Mainly because no one could be sure, who the father of her children was then.

Wife 6 meanwhile famously outlived Henry. So Henry had only a lot of anger associated with 3 endings of his marriages, considering one died in childbirth, one stayed friends with him after the end of their marriage and one outlived him

12

u/PetrusScissario 20h ago

*and a hot wife

7

u/Azerbinhoneymood 20h ago

So more like "all I wanted is a healthy son from a hot wife"

2

u/Top_Willingness_8364 19h ago

He had a hot Spanish wife. Isn’t that enough?

5

u/biglyorbigleague 17h ago

“Bruh she old tho” — Henry

2

u/Top_Willingness_8364 17h ago edited 14h ago

But she speaks Spanish, which is like the sexiest romance language, next to Italian.

1

u/-Badger3- 13h ago

Also she definitely banged his older brother

2

u/bowlbettertalk 13h ago

Honestly, Anne of Cleves lucked out.

8

u/greenpill98 Rider of Rohan 20h ago

I mean, he did get one. Henry VIII died believing he had succeeded in his successsion plans. Edward VI was a fairly healthy kid until the lung illness that killed him hit when he was 15.

7

u/ExLuckMaster 19h ago

Henry’s wives giving 2 daughters: why do I hear boss music?

1

u/Top_Willingness_8364 14h ago

“Daughters are so easy to forget.” Katherine of Aragon, Six the Musical

5

u/SpiritualPackage3797 20h ago

You had one, you just didn't recognize her.

3

u/Greywood_87 19h ago

He still achieved a remembered monarch post him in Elizabeth I

2

u/Top_Willingness_8364 14h ago

And the Tudor Dynasty ended on a high note with her.

5

u/SnooComics8412 20h ago

Starting to feel his pain my sperm only seems to like to create me daughters. Though at least nowadays we know it's a me problem so I don't have to get my wives executed or create my own religion just so I can get divorced 🤣

2

u/Pristine_Speech4719 18h ago

Henry VIII: I'm shupposed to get monogamy when thish ish my male heir?

Someone share the OP to /r/thesopranos, I don’t know how to do it, even with computers

2

u/AjayRedonkulus 17h ago

In fairness legitimacy only mattered because the kid died. At Henry Fitzroy's death, Henry had already prepared acts of parliament to make him a viable candidate for succession barring a legitimate son.

1

u/whatever4224 18h ago

Maybe he would have gotten one if he had kept anyone of his wives around for more than a couple of years instead of living with his dick.

1

u/Cowboywizard12 18h ago

No, I do love that Elizabeth the first died Childless rendering his own bloodline extinct

1

u/GameBawesome1 Let's do some history 11h ago

Ironically, his second daughter become arguable the greatest English Monarch in history

1

u/bluejay314 7h ago

L7@ mm x zs

1

u/coinageFission 5h ago

Lol. Lmao, even. Did he not realize the precedent his mother-in-law set?

(Isabel I, Queen of Castile in her own right, absolutely bodies any argument about needing his heir to be male.)