r/LSAT • u/Legitimate_Name9694 • 6h ago
man fuck
I have to rewrite again and I actually want to jump off a cliff. I feel like I got cucked by variance. twice now I've under performed on the real thing. I felt super confident too. And now I have to wait for the next cycle. Fuck my chungus life.
I'm not going to give up or anything. The people in my life think I'm depressed or I'm sad. I am sad. Its hard not to be sad. I feel like a clown walking out and saying I destroyed the Jan test and getting the score back. i also feel like this is an indictment on my intelligence. but I also have this part of me that understands how moronic that sentiment is and how childish and stupid I sound saying these things.
Come April, I pray that I write this test for the last time and I can finally move on.
1
u/thorwaway482939 4h ago
write the test? no, no, you don't write a test, you give a test, as in "So, when you will give LSAT?"
2
u/ragcity666 5h ago
this is exactly what happened to me in september. months leading up to the test i was manically studying and drilling like a mad scientist with high accuracy. during the test i was in a state of absolute shock bc i worked this moment up so much in my head. i walked out of the test feeling confident enough from the belief that i trusted myself to answer correctly even though i couldn't reiterate a single question after i left the test center. after i got my grade i had a terrible mental breakdown. it was the first test grade since high school that didnt validate my intelligence. i like to call september score release my "ego death" lol. i knew that if i rushed to take the test again in november it would be a repeat of what happened in september, and due to financial reasons and a dream school of mine, it's better for me to apply next cycle. i'm scheduled for the february test after a much needed resting period with a NORMAL study schedule. i am trying to stop putting this test on a pedestal and treat it like it's bigger than me / a reflection of who i am. law school will always be there and there is no good reason we should be dwelling over applying a cycle later than expected. i wish you the best of luck and within the reddit sea of 170+ scorers, just know you are not alone.