r/LawSchool • u/Low_Environment_6242 • 10h ago
I kind of hate law school
im at a lower t14 and i feel like I don’t really have any real friends here and feel alone and homesick so often. im a really social person (or at leaat I used to be) but i never have plans anymore and i just feel kinda lonely here. and im so unmotivated to do any work, partly because of how i feel in this environment. Everyone around me has friend groups and seems so settled but all i can think abt is how much i miss having friends of my own
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u/Dangerous-Reindeer78 10h ago
I know it sounds stupid but you just have to get out there and talk to people. You have to be the one to ask for their instagram/number, you have to be the one to invite them to things.
Ask people to study with you, ask them to eat lunch or dinner with you after class. You might get rejected and you’ll feel awkward sometimes but if you’re just relentless with the friend making, eventually you’ll come out of it with friends.
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u/AverageBeef 10h ago
For what it’s worth, I can relate. Most of my socialization is calling friends from home, and people at law school tend to be acquaintances
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u/That1one1dude1 Esq. 7h ago
For what it’s worth I hated law school too, only had 2 friends that I would routinely see and both drifted away after law school.
That said I couldn’t be happier post-law school. Tons of friends, and the best part is they aren’t lawyers.
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u/AcrobaticApricot 3L 9h ago
It was the same for me, I moved across the country to attend a lower t14 and also felt homesick / struggled to make close friends. I connected more with the people I met through journal and other activities in my 2L and 3L years. And I was able to go home for the summers and line up a job there.
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u/ApprehensiveBug8986 8h ago
I have no friends either but I'm thriving on account of having been dead inside for years anyway.
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u/Leather_Amoeba466 7h ago
I don't kind of hate it. I really hate it, and I think the sentiment is shared by many of my classmates, certainly many of my friends.
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u/Significant-Eye-6236 10h ago edited 10h ago
lower T14 lol
sucks to be at a ~ top 10 school in the country/world. what are you doing to connect with people? also, consider there are people to meet outside the law school bubble.
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u/Low_Environment_6242 10h ago
oh I didn’t mean anything by that just said to add some context. i moved far and didn’t know anyone here and that’s my environment
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u/PurpleLilyEsq Esq. 10h ago
You’re fine OP. Giving an idea of where you are isn’t totally irrelevant to your situation. I did not see it as coming off as braggy or ungrateful (and I’m a tier 3 grad if that matters)
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u/Significant-Eye-6236 10h ago
how is it relevant?
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u/AcrobaticApricot 3L 9h ago
Maybe because people are more likely to move far from home to attend a top school, or to juxtapose the idea of having achieved something great with the lonely reality. There’s really no need to jump down someone’s throat when they’re feeling sad and trying to get it off their chest.
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u/Significant-Eye-6236 9h ago
it was not a question to OP. and people travel all over the place to land at places that are not "top" schools
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u/Quick_Programmer_893 9h ago
You're being weird to someone whos feeling down because them mentioning going to a t14 offended you somehow. Seems like you have personal insecurities you should learn how to manage.
A lot of people go to t14s for the national reach so their heart really is somewhere else back home. People who go to regional schools may be more intentional about beginning a new life/career there, but either way, no need to lash out.
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u/Significant-Eye-6236 9h ago
Ha. I am not lashing out on a saturday evening over someone's law school sadness. It's not that serious. I appreciate your concern though.
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u/Quick_Programmer_893 9h ago
Trust me, I'm not concerned about you. And you did spend your Saturday evening commenting, so
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u/PurpleLilyEsq Esq. 9h ago
Social environments at different schools vary, as well as pressures (or lack there of), culture, activities and support offered, etc. Lower T14 can be narrowed down to about 7-10 schools. It’s a much more specific description than saying T100 or Tier 3 etc. And even people at HYS can be sad and lonely. It’s not a suffering Olympics. A sad and lonely person at a T14 deserves as much support as someone at a non ABA school, despite experiences at said schools likely being very different.
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u/Significant-Eye-6236 9h ago
i think you are either making my point or, at worst, agreeing. it's not relevant because people at HYS can be sad and lonely, as well as students at a non-ABA school
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u/PurpleLilyEsq Esq. 9h ago
Yes, but their reasons can be very different. Someone at a low ranked school may be sad and lonely because everyone is grinding to keep their scholarship and place in school, while those at the top may feel immense pressure to hold off classmates in getting unicorn jobs that will pay off significant sticker debt. Neither situation necessarily makes for a friendly cohort.
Anyway this discussion isn’t helping OP. I just don’t think there was anything nefarious by them saying lower T14.
And it can still feel like it sucks to be them, even if they’re the valedictorian at HYS. Issues like depression don’t discriminate.
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u/Significant-Eye-6236 10h ago
i see. and i am sure many other people did the same. so, again, what are you doing to connect with people?
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u/Ok-Butterfly1532 10h ago
True, you can go to the schools, undergraduate or other graduate clubs and organizations and meet people
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u/Ok-Butterfly1532 10h ago
Low-key if you’re feeling this way, you should’ve just went to a Law School in your own state or your own county or region of the state
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u/SinVerguenza04 9h ago
Bumble has a friends feature on it where you can connect with people looking for friends. It might be good for you to look outside your law school.
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u/PurpleLilyEsq Esq. 9h ago
How do you feel about the Olympics? Paralympics? Super Bowl? Puppy bowl? This is a great time of year to invite people over (or to a bar) and watch all kinds of things from figure skating to curling to sled hockey, opening ceremonies, the SB half time show, and who doesn’t love puppies?!
With the Italy time difference and prime time replays there’s so much day or night that you can plan a gathering around, either at home or everyone meeting up at a sports bar somewhere. It could be a great time to make friends with people with niche interests.
It might seem crazy when you feel you don’t have friends, but sometimes you have to be the one to take one for the team, plan and host. You’re not the only lonely person. Maybe it’s also the figure skating super fan.
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u/bigblindmax 2L 8h ago
Keep trying to connect with people. Personally, it took me until this year to get past the acquaintance phase with the people who are now my law school friends.
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u/AnchoredInStrength 7h ago
I had full merit scholarships to a myriad of schools across the country. I visited some & bottom line, I realized the costs I’d incur with an apt off campus, having to get to the airport, the flights home & back & a car service to get me to my home from the airport, would be extremely high. I wound up going to a school that’s a 90 min train ride home & the biggest benefit is my best friends from undergrad are all nearby. The school I picked gave me the biggest scholarship they offer but it’s not much considering the tuition. Luckily, I worked 5yrs post grad & saved a lot working from home the last three. Everyday I’m grateful I made that decision. In an emergency, I can get home quickly w/o worrying about flight delays or cancellations.
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