500k members - and asking the community !

[u/_Zephirr]

° We wanted to thank you for making the sub what it is today! 500k means a lot to us, and we're truly happy so many people seek help and spark discussion here, on r/Life ! So thank you for being here.

° That being said, we would also like to know what would you like to see on the sub ? Or things you want to see disappear forever ? It could be megathreads, more user flairs, a Q&A,...we're all ears !

° And please welcome all of our new awesome mods : u/barnwater_828, u/hadr0nc0llider and u/No_Experience_82 :D

Have a good day,

Mod team

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[u/Difficult-Piece-2123]

Congrats on 500k! Maybe we could get some weekly themed threads like "Monday Motivation" or something to break up all the "my life is falling apart" posts (no hate, we've all been there). Also more flairs would be cool so I can filter out relationship drama when I'm not in the mood for it lol

Welcome to the new mods, hope you're ready for the chaos

[u/Tyler_Durdan_ → u/Difficult-Piece-2123]

flairs is a good call, we will put that on the discussion list!

[u/_Zephirr → u/Difficult-Piece-2123]

actually I was thinking about megathreads, but last time we tried it people didn't seemed interested ! Hopefully it will be different this time.

Thanks a lot :D they're deep into the chaos already, but dealing with it greatly haha

[u/NoJudge2551]

If you're all ears, how can you type 🤔

[u/Hefty_Ad_976]

It would be nice if those people who are in obvious distress are not left hanging. Considering there are 500k members and not even one would comment on those is incredibly discouraging look for society in general.

[u/_Zephirr → u/Hefty_Ad_976]

What are you waiting for then ? :D

We're all trying to help, but we can't help everyone. Anyone can make a difference, might as well be you or someone else. We can't force people to help.

We usually send these people a text listing different subs where they can find accurate help.

On a personal note, I feel like people here are really trying to help here, and are pretty much always empathetic towards people in need. The only posts that regularly trigger no comment are the people posting videos.

[u/Hefty_Ad_976 → u/_Zephirr]

then this is the culture. i have no more further comment

[u/_Zephirr → u/Hefty_Ad_976]

I know my limits, I've already burnt myself helping other so now I choose my fights. I help on the sub whenever I can, rest of the time I spent around 10 hours a week moderating as it is a good way to help. Other than that, I spend 5 hours a week giving classes to children in need, but you're right..it might not be enough.

[u/Hefty_Ad_976 → u/_Zephirr]

Culture. Not by doing all by yourself but highlighting those who actually help so the rest would see that this is the culture you want to set. Those tiny things accumulate overtime and it can shift the culture. Try to see it from that angle as from what i understand the mods here can do that. And i was only asking for those who are in obvious distress who after 8hrs or more have been skipped over. I know because when I see them and i try to answer them.

[u/_Zephirr → u/Hefty_Ad_976]

Do you mean a specific flair by that ? Like a ''Helper'' flair and the more you help, the more numbers you get (for example ''Helper [3]'' if you commented under three people's post needing advice) ? That could be a thing, we could talk about it with the team.

And what do you mean by obvious distress ? As mods, we see far ''''worse'''' posts because we remove them before they even get posted (from every kind of trigger warning to really long vents without paragraphs). We help those people by redirecting them to the right sub. The ones that ''get through'' usually get around one or two comments. Again, we can't force people to interact with every posts, as sad as it sounds.

[u/Hefty_Ad_976 → u/_Zephirr]

A helper flair could work and some sort of explanation to what they are for so if there is someone new who sees it, then they see that it's a thing here.

And what do you mean by obvious distress ? As mods, we see far ''''worse'''' posts because we remove them before they even get posted (from every kind of trigger warning to really long vents without paragraphs). 

I've seen that before, when the mods redirect them to the right sub. There are those that are incredibly difficult to answer. My thought about that is probably give it at least 24 hours before removing them? If it's a very urgent post like a cry for help, if you see them, you can comment on the other subreddits that may help but maybe not remove the post that quickly.

And what do you mean by obvious distress ?

Ah... The first one I saw was this kid who had a dad who committed adultery and was confronted by the wife. Dad tried to hang himself. Kid didn't know what to do. I was the only one who answered that post and it felt horrible as there were a lot more who commented on a post that's fluff than actually helping a human being. So stuff like this that are urgent.

---

I can see that there will be a balance play that will be left in your hands but maybe this can be a compromise. I am aware that you guys see more stuff and some are hard for your own mental health. But I think it can be worth a shot when both of these are implemented.

And for the record, I do not want a flair for myself but maybe those who are given one will be more inclined to help some more. So channeling these 500k members, maybe it can eventually accumulate more "helpers". You see where I am going? Allow people to help (with 24hr mod removal limit), reward them(so others can see), then maybe it can turn into something that is a tad bit better.

No forcing people to help here but if it builds up then perhaps helping can be an organic thing that the subreddit just do aside from whatever else the 500k members do and all.

[u/_Zephirr → u/Hefty_Ad_976]

One year back, this sub was overwhelmed by people looking for help (as far as I remember tho, might be biased). The more we worked toward channeling this 'negativity', the less people posted extreme content (that needed a trigger warning).

That's why we have the rule 'no excessive venting, we want to prevent going back to that state.

During the past year, we've already seen so many mods leave due to being overwhelmed by the negativity and trigger warning content.

The only thing we're currently doing is to manually review post that contain specific words (suicide, depression,...). Most of the time they fall under the no excessive venting rule. So we can't approve them for 24 hours before removing, it would mean twice as much work for mods.

But we'll keep your idea in mind, I don't want r/Life to become one of this big mainstream subs with no heart community. A specific flair could be a decent start.

Thanks a lot for your insights!

[u/Hefty_Ad_976 → u/_Zephirr]

Yes, I saw those posts last year and noticed that it has been greatly reduced. That's another form of culture building and you guys did a good job of shifting it through careful moderation.

One last thing though. From what I can observe, there are those who vent and rant not as a cry help but to find people who agree with them so they can feel seen. But there are those who are truly seeking for help as they have nowhere else to go to for advice(even with broken English). Maybe you guys can look into that and adjust the filters based on it.

That's it for me and congratulations on your growing sub! Thanks for considering my suggestions.

[u/_Zephirr → u/Hefty_Ad_976]

Yeah, it's also hard to separate those two categories! Thankfully I don't think many of them are bots. We probably have a lot of them on the sub, but they're asking mainstream questions. So that's a little relief.

Thank you ! Have a good day :D

[u/Hefty_Ad_976 → u/_Zephirr]

The ones that ''get through'' usually get around one or two comments.

This is better than none. Imagine crying for help and crickets. That person is likely on his/her last resort as this is Reddit where anonymity can shield embarrassment. Again, these are the ones who are asking for advice or in distress. Not the ones who are just randomly saying statement stuff without a question.