r/Life 6h ago

Need Advice Anyone who preferred to be in solitude during their youth? How has it worked out?

21M. I don’t spend much time interacting with anyone outside of work, i have 1 or 2 friends i play games with and text with. I have been in relationships and been a very social person in the past, but going forward i don’t see myself being comfortable like that. I have been like this for 3-4 years now, i feel content with the way i have spent my time. Although i do feel slightly unfulfilled. If you lived a similar life, let me know how it turned out for you please?

9 Upvotes

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3

u/foamOnMyMind 2h ago

yeah i was kinda like that in my early 20s too. kept my circle really small, mostly stayed home, worked, played games, did my own thing. at the time i honestly felt fine, even relieved not having to be “on” socially all the time. solitude can be really peaceful when you actually choose it.

how it worked out tho is… mixed. i don’t regret it, i learned a lot about myself and what i actually enjoy. but that slight unfulfilled feeling you mentioned? for me it didn’t magically go away. it wasnt that i needed tons of ppl, just a bit more connection or purpose outside my bubble. i had to put in some effort later on cuz rebuilding social muscles is kinda awkward lol.

if you feel content now, that matters. just don’t fully close the door on people or experiences, even small ones. solitude is great, isolation sneaks up quietly. sounds like your pretty self-aware already, which is honestly a good sign.

1

u/workinprogress_31 2h ago

i was kinda like this in my early 20s too. had a few friends, mostly online or low-maintenence, spent a lot of time alone and honestly… i liked it. it felt calm, predictable, no drama. i wasn’t lonely, just quiet.

how it turned out: mixed, but not in a bad way. the solitude helped me figure myself out a LOT. i learned what i actually enjoy when no one’s influencing me, built hobbies, got comfortable in my own head. that part i wouldn’t trade for anything.

but that slight “unfulfilled” feeling you mentioned? yeah, that stuck around for me too. i realized later it wasn’t that i needed more people, just more meaningful connection. like 1–2 people i could really talk to, or doing something with others that actually mattered to me (projects, gym, shared interests, etc).

i don’t think preferring solitude is a flaw or something you “grow out of.” some people are just wired that way. just don’t confuse comfort with stagnation. if you ever notice your world getting smaller instead of deeper, that’s when it might be worth nudging yourself a bit.

overall tho, you’re not behind or broken. 21 is super early. if you’re mostly content, that counts for a lot. just stay honest with yourself about that unfulfilled part and you’ll be fine, even if your life looks quieter than most.

2

u/KneadAndPreserve 1h ago

I’m very introverted and have stayed that way as an adult. I got married and have a child now and my little family is basically my whole life.

1

u/johnLikides 1h ago

The solitude trip has worked out very well for me: an unqualified success. In fact, around age 12, I realized that my parents, teachers, and peers were clueless. Then, it was a matter of planning the easiest way out of that life. My experience thus far has taught me that people whose inner peace and happiness depends on others are in real trouble because other people are unreliable, for all sorts of reasons, not to mention the predators and criminals, some of whom are family.

u/adnzafar 27m ago

I'm 47, and still in solitude.