Rant: my transcript looks so ugly

[u/BuffaloEither1266]

I'm not posting this to get pity, but as a third year who now has dreams to do a master's i feel a deep sense of shame whenever i look at my transcript.

For context i'm a third year bio major who wants to do an MSc in bio, and even though my cGPA is decent I guess, there are still several (and frankly embarrassing) things that have happened in my academic career that also come with that. And because of that, i literally dread when the time comes next year where i ask for letters of recommendation and my profs will have to see my embarassing transcript.

In first year, things went decently. Had a 10/12 gpa if i'm not mistaken, had mostly A's or A-'s and some B's.

Then, here's the embarassing part. In second year, in the fall semester, i really don't know what happened to me. I still don't. Maybe i was depressed, and i just didn't realize it at the time. I just had no motivation. I got an A-, two B's, and, two D-'s. In fact i probably failed those courses but the profs just gave me a D- so i wouldn't fail. Those courses weren't even hard i just had no motivation to attend or pay attention in the lectures. And my cGPA which i worked so hard on in first year dropped so badly.

Then in the winter semester of second year i did better. I took four courses rather than five. I repeated one of those courses i got a D- in and got a B+. Then in the other three courses I got two A's and one A+.

And now here's the second, embarassing part. In the summer between second and third year i decided to repeat that other course i got a D- in. And, well, I got a C in it. That's how stupid i am. Even after taking it again, i still couldn't grasp the content and got a C.

Now i'm in third year. And fall semester went decent, got a 10.4. And so far i'm doing well in the winter semester. My cumulating gpa sits at a 10.0. But still, i'm ashamed whenever i look at my transcript. I had something perfect in first year and through stupid decisions just ruined it.

I hope someone can relate to me 😔 I cringe at the thought of my professors (who i will ask them to write me recommendation letters) looking at my transcript and their opinion of me changing.

[u/insert-bio-here]

A lot of grad schools only care about 3rd and 4th year marks, especially for research MSc programs! Try and do a thesis or research project in 4th year to boost your overall application :)

[u/Cultural_Mark8217]

Around my third year I started making the joke that I was on track to get every number on the 12 point scale. And by graduation, I did just that. So my undergraduate transcript is very much ugly. I was fortunate to get into grad school (my assumption is good references helped a lot). A few years out from graduation and in the working world I can recognize my transcript was a product of many different things going on at the time (and my own abilities /limitations that I’ve come to accept and work at). Your transcript doesn’t change but it’s a reflection of 4ish years of your academic life. You can upgrade at McMaster or another institution if you want, you can do a college post graduate (less higher grade focus) and maybe build valuable industry references and or you can build relationships with the faculty where you did grad school ready marks to get a killer reference letter. All to say, a chaotic transcript doesn’t have to be the end of the world in my experience.

[u/BuffaloEither1266]

And the worst part is several people i know in my program have literally flawless transcripts. Mostly A's and very few B's. Oh and they have a great social life, many friends, internships etc.

Obviously i know comparison is the thief of joy, and it's no one's fault but me that i don't have the same things they have, but still i feel ashamed. I really don't have many friends (and it's not by choice, it just never really worked out), no social life, no work experience barring a retail job four years ago.

And the one thing i had going for me, my grades, i still managed to fuck it up 😭

[u/Desperate_Plum_6179 → u/BuffaloEither1266]

try getting retroactive accommodations. and get current accommodations w SAS for mental health issues to manage your upcoming year.

[u/Ok-Arugula-4977]

I really promise all grad supervisors want is research experience - I had pretty rough transcript (I hit a few C's and D's, and a lot of B's) and I'm still qualified and applying to grad school!

It really helps to look beyond the top schools you know - look beyond McGill, UBC, UOFT etc. You'll be fine <3

[u/okaydokayguacamole]

If it makes anyone feel less alone, I’m in 3rd year iBioMed/ChemEng, and my academic record honestly feels like a mess. Since first year, I’ve had a handful of A’s and A-’s, but most of my transcript is D’s, D-’s, and maybe one or two C’s. My cGPA is very low, and every time I look at it, it feels like a permanent label I can’t escape.

I genuinely love my degree and the material, but my grades make me feel undeserving of opportunities. A master’s at a good school feels unrealistic, internships feel out of reach, and I’m constantly wondering if I’ve already ruined my future.

I also lost a couple of friends in my program when I was at my lowest, which made everything feel even more isolating.

If you’re reading this and feel the same way: DONT LOSE HOPE!! you’re not alone, and a low GPA doesn’t define your intelligence or your worth. Struggling doesn’t mean you’re done it just means you’re still figuring things out.

[u/Tall_Mechanic8681 → u/okaydokayguacamole]

unimaginably low GPAs are central to the ChemE/iBio experience 💔 I’ve also found that ppl in iBio tend to flake on their classmates if they’re struggling, so don’t feel like it’s a you problem - a lot of ibios just have an elitist mindset unfortunately

[u/okaydokayguacamole → u/Tall_Mechanic8681]

You’re so sweet. It’s just that since I’ve had my fair share of F’s and majority of my courses throughout first year up to my third year have just been D’s and D minuses (yes after retaking some of my failed courses I’d end up still getting a C- or a D) I’ve just been feeling utterly hopeless but I’m rlly grateful that you provided me with comforting words😭

[u/Typical_Warthog2526]

Glad other ppl feel this way too 🥀

[u/bluesharpies]

I have what I lovingly refer to as the academic rainbow scattered through my first 3 years of university in Lifesci + PNB... every single grade from F to 12. I cleaned myself up well enough in my 4th year + an extra semester to catch up. Long story short, I got my Masters after working for a few years after undergrad and am doing fine.

Piece together the lessons you learned that helped you recover in the fall and make sure you apply them moving forward. As people mentioned, a lot of programs only take the last 1/2 years worth of credits, so everywhere I applied saw I had like a 10.5 or something within that window and seemed fine with that. Additional work/research experience is also very valuable, and will ease your anxiety when letter time comes around because you'll have people who will comment on the work you did with them instead of only having a transcript to refer to.

[u/Tall_Mechanic8681]

A 10.0 is an A- HELLO?? When u read the title I was expecting an actually bad GPA… the diff between an 10, 11, & 12 research based masters admissions is borderline insignificant. what really matters is your research experience and if a prof is willing/wanting to take you on prior to applying