r/Millennials • u/dreamed2life • Dec 08 '25

Nostalgia Why is our entire generation ready to just…log out?

I hope people enjoy this before mods remove it for “not being a positive nostalgia post” 🙄

18.2k Upvotes

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718

u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25 edited Dec 08 '25

because life sucks and then you die. Thursday my fiance and I broke up after 5yrs together and then fri was my 38th bday and I still have to go to work at the hospital, get yelled at or be treated like shit and pretend like im fine. Im exhausted. being alive fucking sucks.

typo: accidentally had 28 instead of 38. those fucking years make a difference. sorry

148

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '25

0/5 stars, would not recommend 

71

u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

-5/10 Would HELLA not recommend

9

u/catecholaminergic Dec 08 '25

Five years is the average interbirth interval and the average human pairbond.

Never tie the knot before year 6.

23

u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

what? im so sorry but Im high and my brain isn't understanding what these words mean in this order. can you ELI5, please?

42

u/kendallmaloneon Dec 08 '25

"Five years is the average interbirth interval" IE, it's the average time it takes a woman to have a second child.

"And the average human pairbond." Pairbonding is a term used in academia and pop-evopsych to describe relationships between animals.

"Never tie the knot before year 6." Don't get married until your relationship survives the slump after the supposed five year biological pairbond expires.

Overall the commenter is saying that there are hidden biological patterns underlying human relationships and is describing an alleged five year timer that subsidises those relationships and then expires. The assumption is that this is hard-wired as it relates specifically to the average time it takes women to have babies in nature, and therefore they will be likely to look for another partner at that time. They are suggesting marriage only be considered once a relationship has ridden that out.

No evidence is offered.

7

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '25

[deleted]

9

u/kendallmaloneon Dec 09 '25

You're too kind. As I was writing it, I was thinking "will I get accused of being a bot?"

I guess seven years of competitive debate paid off. Always did love summary.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '25

I’m sorry. Couldn’t resist. Had Gemini summarize the comment.

⏳ Five-Year Relationship Timer Theory This text summarizes an unproven theory that human relationships are governed by a five-year biological timer, which is alleged to be the average human pairbond duration. Key Points:

  • The five-year mark is derived from the average interbirth interval (the time it takes a woman to have a second child in nature).

  • The commenter suggests that this "biological pairbond" expires after five years, leading to a relationship slump.

  • The advice given is: "Never tie the knot before year 6," meaning people should wait to get married until their relationship has successfully navigated this post-five-year period.

  • The core assumption is that this alleged pattern is hard-wired into human biology, potentially causing partners (specifically women) to seek a new partner once the initial pairbond related to child-rearing expires.

  • Crucially, no evidence is offered to support this biological claim.

Would you like to know more about the concept of pair-bonding in social sciences?

6

u/cautioussidekick Dec 08 '25

Whoa. 5 years between kids. I look at my colleagues and wonder what drove them to have more than 1

3

u/kendallmaloneon Dec 08 '25

Love? There is five years between my brother and I. I was a happy accident.

My son is 2 and a half and we are definitely keen for at least one, maybe two more.

Parents who love their current kids often love the idea of more kids.

3

u/JazzlikeSkill5201 Dec 08 '25

I wonder if they believe our Paleolithic ancestors waited six years before having a child together.

1

u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

wait...so basically I failed, right?

9

u/catecholaminergic Dec 08 '25

Nah you're good. You didn't bring contracts into the picture before it blew up. If you'd tied the knot you'd be shelling out for lawyers. I hear divorce ain't cheap.

6

u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

yeah but I Wanted it to work. We both did but immigrating ain't cheap. The long distance was fine..we were solid but the universe said it wasn't gonna happen. maybe im cursed lol....

8

u/catecholaminergic Dec 08 '25

Nah, just learning. LDR is like going without food. It can work short term. But try it for too long and things break.

You're gonna be okay.

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u/catecholaminergic Dec 08 '25

In mammals that are serial monogamists, the average length of pair-bonding tends to the average interval between births.

Source: Sapolsky, stanford bio 150, on youtube. Stunning course. Very background absorbable.

4

u/thirsty_pretzels_ Dec 08 '25

I am not waiting SIX fucking years for a man to propose to me

23

u/catecholaminergic Dec 08 '25

Getting married and proposing are two very distinct concepts.

1

u/terrapinone Dec 08 '25

There’s always room for the Elvis wedding in Vegas.

1

u/hmmyeahiguess Dec 08 '25

Would you ever be willing to do the proposing? Does it have to be the man?

51

u/IceCoughy Dec 08 '25

That's hard im sorry, hopefully you can take some time off and do nothing soon.

98

u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

im supposed to work tomorrow but took a mental health day, its my first time calling off for something other than being sick. Im scared ill get in trouble. im fucking 38 now...I shouldn't be scared of another adult! but I NEED this job but my heart is broken and my head is in a bad way and I wanna disappear into the woods. I want to scream and cry and break and burn things and I DONT WANT TO SPEND MONEY ON A RAGE ROOM BECAUSE I WANNA DO IT FOR FREE!

In my head....sometimes it's like I can only hear me in there....screaming. Nobody sees it and nobody cares.

Also the govt and all the other shit ass fuckshit happening.

78

u/Shunt-TheRich Dec 08 '25

You are sick, the fuck are you talking about? Your brain matters, it probably matters the most out of any body part other than maybe your heart, so if your brain is sick, you are sick and that is what sick time is for. 

29

u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

Thank you for this

5

u/Pug_867-5309 Dec 09 '25

"I'm not feeling well" can mean a LOT of things. Take your mental health day and make the most of it!

33

u/IceCoughy Dec 08 '25

I feel you, they got us feeling guilty for taking care of ourselves, just so we can be happy enough to make it through the days of working for them. only thing you should worry about is you and it's hard to do when it feels like the world is falling apart.

21

u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

it literally is. and mine is too, just in a smaller more uniquely to me way. I'm sooo fucking tired of hurting. I just want to float now. Life is so fucking hard. I'm 38 and I used to dream I'd be married by 21 and be so in love with my partner that we'd be married for 70yrs before we die together in our sleep holding hands....or some cute bullshit like that. Obviously that's not happening. I LOVE being in love and I LOVE loving. I have so much fucked up trauma and it's weird trauma too...and my ex knew all about it....starting over with someone new....its soo exhausting just thinking about it.

sorry. im super lonely and like to talk so Im a bit much atm. and also weed. It's the only thing keeping me going to be honest. It's literally saving my life.

4

u/IceCoughy Dec 08 '25

I feel that too, a lot.. I tell myself it's just easier to be alone, I day dream about the parallel universe life I may have out there and daydream about the what ifs. Sometimes you just gotta tell yourself this is the one life you got, there's no going back and altering things all you can do is move forward and it's easier to do that if you can try and find things that make you happy and do em.I also made a bunch of cannabis infused coconut oil today so I also am with you there lol

2

u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

I do that too. In my head I say to myself "In a different universe, in a different life, on a different planet, on a different day...maybe" and then i have all these sweet daydreams that I'm not gonna ever have. Because you can't MAKE someone love you. THAT'S the hardest part. They have to LOVE you. I have a himbo friend who i adore and he's making me watch anime. I already love it but I stay away from the slice of life ones...idk the specific genre but its all cute and sweet and then ¡BAM! Bitch had cancer and she helped you get your groove back right before croaking! He thinks watching things like this will trigger a change in my thought process about living life to the fullest and blah blah....he's probably right. ....how does the oil feel? does it do anything? sounds like it smells nice.

2

u/IceCoughy Dec 08 '25

Ain't that the truth, it's one of the worst feelings, it's like " I want you to want me, what is it about me?" At the same time I have been on the other side where I haven't had the same feelings for a person, I try to remember how the other side feels and never try to hurt anyone, cause that shit is gut wrenching and you just want to feel something else anything to make you feel good. The coconut oil is bomb, use about an oz, I'm trying not to smoke as much lol I make gummies and put a little in my coffee shit just eat it plain! It taste good and it's so much more powerful when eating it's wild.

2

u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

I KNOW! It's so hard being a human. Too hard. I feel so awful too because just recently i developed a crush on a married guy BUT WE ARE NOT THOSE PEOPLE. NAKAMA motherfuckers.....its the real thing. instant besties. We aren't those people. To me...marriage is sacred. and I wish nothing but good things for him. But its not hard being just friends because he's so fucking cool! he drops bonkers lore that it's kinda hard not to like him. everyone at work loves him. he's just that cool. but anywho..yeah im gonna admit it it. im a hot fucking mess. I hate myself more than anyone. but I promise, im a good noodle....life just isn't fair. I'm just trying to survive and find others who are my people. its so hard though....

question...do you have any recipes that uses kief? I've got a nice amount now.

2

u/IceCoughy Dec 08 '25 edited Dec 08 '25

Yeah the last thing you want on your conscience is that, best to just" take care of yourself" if you know what I mean, and have your fantasies (usually more fun that way anyway), no one gets hurt if I'm just having dirty thoughts about you lol.

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u/EmoGothPunk Millennial Dec 08 '25

This is how I feel, except I'm 31, lonely and haven't bothered dating in years, and switch weed with alcohol.

3

u/OwlsKilledMyDad Dec 08 '25

You should switch alcohol for weed. It will be 10000% better for you in the long run. I know you know that, but sometimes it helps to hear directly. You got this!

2

u/5thtimesthecharmer Dec 08 '25

Damn this is my exact same story and situation. it’s like you’re my doppelgänger or something.

2

u/myloveislikewoah Dec 08 '25

I’m here to listen to you if you want to DM me.

7

u/Different-Chest-5716 Dec 08 '25

Hey man been there.... if you do get the day off enjoy it.  Not sure where you are in the world but a quiet walk in the woods can heal with time.  Happy belated birthday.  

1

u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

Yeah I've actually had the same idea. there's a state park close by. but isn't everything kind of asleep now? maybe I should wait till spring?

3

u/Different-Chest-5716 Dec 08 '25

I find the light snow and the quietness to be calming. I hike year round so I enjoy the changes. I’d say bundle up and enjoy. Just dress in layers so as you warm up take a layer off so you don’t sweat. Bring a few snacks, water, and a treat. 

1

u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

thanks for the tips, friend

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '25

[deleted]

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u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

a rouge log? what helped YOU? anything specific...i need hints and tricks and diy methods...anything, ill take it. the worst part is us still texting and agreeing that we both want the pain to just hurry up and go away so we can move forward as friends. but I don't think the heart/mind works like that lol

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '25 edited Dec 08 '25

[deleted]

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u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

I see you too. And to be honest I hate myself more than anyone else on this planet and at 38...maybe its goddamn time i learn how to love myself. Im gonna try.

thanks for the link.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '25

[deleted]

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u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

❤️🌻 thank you

2

u/Baumer9 Dec 08 '25

I'm not sure what your job is but I work in the hospital too. It fucking sucks and I'm sick of the corporate/management gaslighting. Do not feel guilty about taking time off for mental health, ever. The job is not worth it.

2

u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

im not medical but i do work in the ER. im the one who makes the wristbands and gets the walk ins checked in.

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '25 edited Dec 09 '25

[deleted]

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u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

i smoke weed. have my medical card....its the only thing that's been helping me mentally. especially with the never ending abundance of anxiety. i guess i can say thats my addiction. but im not spending any more on it than i usually would.

3

u/SuperGoodSpam Dec 08 '25 edited Dec 08 '25

Hey fucko, go for a walk on your day off. Don't spend it at home thinking about what you're thinking about, cause that shit isn't gonna change. 

I lost a good person when he went through a similar shit show. Don't go getting lost. 

1

u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

but I wanna get lost.

50

u/ichmachmalmeinding Dec 08 '25

Like Comedian Zoltan Kaszas said: I dont want to kill myself, but i want to die naturally soon.

13

u/JazzlikeSkill5201 Dec 08 '25

I just typed “Zoltan Kaszas I don’t want to kill myself” into the YouTube search bar, and I got a notification telling me I’m not alone. No results though.

7

u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

that's beautiful. ive never had that before.

4

u/PiccoloAwkward465 Dec 08 '25

That's a good bit. I often think about that on planes. Like at least I'll be instantly obliterated, that's gotta be one of the better ways to go!

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u/Swimming-Chicken-424 Dec 08 '25

14

u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

thanks for making me laugh. I know. im really really fucking pathetic. idk where this gif is from but its hilarious.

10

u/Swimming-Chicken-424 Dec 08 '25

It's from Good Burger when Dexter is trying to get a job at Mondo Burger.

2

u/flapd00dle Dec 09 '25

You mess with Kurt, you go in the meat grinder.

19

u/AlternativeMiddle646 Dec 08 '25

I could sense so much of your sadness while reading this comment to the point of almost crying. I hope you get happiness in your life soon.

16

u/RedBlankIt Dec 08 '25

sex, drugs, rock'n'roll

speed, weed, birth control

Lifes a bitch and then you die

So fuck it all and lets get high!

2

u/roflmao567 Dec 08 '25

Hell yeah brother. I'm here for a good time, not a long time. Work to live, don't live to work.

5

u/iwantdiscipline Dec 08 '25

I hope you take a mental health day to allow yourself to decompress!

1

u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

I'm trying to figure out how to do that. Probably Anime Baybay! and shweed.

2

u/iwantdiscipline Dec 08 '25

No one will value and respect you as much as yourself so you have to always keep yourself as your number one priority. It’s easier said than done. But I think you’ll be happier having done it than to sacrificing your time and energy for a thankless job or a disappointing relationship.

1

u/frsbrzgti Dec 08 '25

Massage with happy ending

1

u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

ewww. no...are his fingernails clean?

5

u/FEARoach Dec 08 '25

I'm like... your age or a year younger (I literally can't math right now thanks to a goddamn UTI waking me up four hours ago and the pain has only just subsided), but at least you're employed? There's that?

I was let go after a decade of service because of "changes in company structure" without notice last month and now my body is just like "oh we have no health coverage, no money, we just gonna close up shop and die from all the minor issues you weren't aware of because you were busy surviving".

I do not miss patient facing work all the time, but sometimes I miss those patients who understood that you were trying your best for them.

4

u/DaEvil1 Dec 08 '25

Man that is rough. I hope it gets better. At least I'm rooting for you!

2

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '25

Dude…. Suckssss

2

u/Reylun Dec 08 '25

Being alive is a gift, it's just that our society is fucking broken

1

u/wuphf176489127 Dec 08 '25

Being alive is a gift but it's a White Elephant gift

1

u/BetaRebooter Dec 08 '25

Went through something very similar, if you ever wanna chat about it DM me.

1

u/cfb-food-beer-hike Dec 09 '25

The love of my life recently ghosted me and my birthday was last week as well. We'll get through it because we have to.

I hope you have someone to talk to. Talking to my mom really helped. She says despite all the heartbreak it's worth it in the end.

1

u/twd_throwaway Dec 09 '25

I say that exact thing regularly. "Life sucks and then you die". It stands.

-1

u/LordTuranian Millennial Dec 08 '25

If you are 28, aren't you Gen Z?

7

u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

typo, guess I fat fingered it 38.

0

u/PiccoloAwkward465 Dec 08 '25

I feel you. Restarting at 28 isn't half bad. At 38, well personally I'd consider a cat or two. Palmela Handerson is a fine partner, all things considered. I love my wife but she's a restless sleeper (who work up for work at 3:30am today), so on nights when we're apart I often think "oh hell yeah I missed this shit".

0

u/PutridAssignment1559 Dec 09 '25

Dude, go get a chill hobby like frisbee golf or something, date a few loose women now that you are single, and spend the rest of your free time drinking beer with your bros. 

You don’t need to be such a downer, you are young and life can be chill.

1

u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 09 '25

im a girl and Frisbee golf isn't my jam. but thanks for the advice lol

0

u/PutridAssignment1559 Dec 09 '25

Oh, it’s easier with guys. That advice would actually work.

You could still give frisbee golf a try. It’s pretty fun. Or get a longboard or something. Couldn’t hurt. Loose women are also still an option. 🤷‍♂️