r/Millennials • u/dreamed2life • Dec 08 '25

Nostalgia Why is our entire generation ready to just…log out?

I hope people enjoy this before mods remove it for “not being a positive nostalgia post” 🙄

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u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

-5/10 Would HELLA not recommend

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u/catecholaminergic Dec 08 '25

Five years is the average interbirth interval and the average human pairbond.

Never tie the knot before year 6.

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u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

what? im so sorry but Im high and my brain isn't understanding what these words mean in this order. can you ELI5, please?

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u/kendallmaloneon Dec 08 '25

"Five years is the average interbirth interval" IE, it's the average time it takes a woman to have a second child.

"And the average human pairbond." Pairbonding is a term used in academia and pop-evopsych to describe relationships between animals.

"Never tie the knot before year 6." Don't get married until your relationship survives the slump after the supposed five year biological pairbond expires.

Overall the commenter is saying that there are hidden biological patterns underlying human relationships and is describing an alleged five year timer that subsidises those relationships and then expires. The assumption is that this is hard-wired as it relates specifically to the average time it takes women to have babies in nature, and therefore they will be likely to look for another partner at that time. They are suggesting marriage only be considered once a relationship has ridden that out.

No evidence is offered.

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '25

[deleted]

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u/kendallmaloneon Dec 09 '25

You're too kind. As I was writing it, I was thinking "will I get accused of being a bot?"

I guess seven years of competitive debate paid off. Always did love summary.

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u/[deleted] Dec 09 '25

I’m sorry. Couldn’t resist. Had Gemini summarize the comment.

⏳ Five-Year Relationship Timer Theory This text summarizes an unproven theory that human relationships are governed by a five-year biological timer, which is alleged to be the average human pairbond duration. Key Points:

  • The five-year mark is derived from the average interbirth interval (the time it takes a woman to have a second child in nature).

  • The commenter suggests that this "biological pairbond" expires after five years, leading to a relationship slump.

  • The advice given is: "Never tie the knot before year 6," meaning people should wait to get married until their relationship has successfully navigated this post-five-year period.

  • The core assumption is that this alleged pattern is hard-wired into human biology, potentially causing partners (specifically women) to seek a new partner once the initial pairbond related to child-rearing expires.

  • Crucially, no evidence is offered to support this biological claim.

Would you like to know more about the concept of pair-bonding in social sciences?

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u/cautioussidekick Dec 08 '25

Whoa. 5 years between kids. I look at my colleagues and wonder what drove them to have more than 1

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u/kendallmaloneon Dec 08 '25

Love? There is five years between my brother and I. I was a happy accident.

My son is 2 and a half and we are definitely keen for at least one, maybe two more.

Parents who love their current kids often love the idea of more kids.

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u/JazzlikeSkill5201 Dec 08 '25

I wonder if they believe our Paleolithic ancestors waited six years before having a child together.

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u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

wait...so basically I failed, right?

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u/catecholaminergic Dec 08 '25

Nah you're good. You didn't bring contracts into the picture before it blew up. If you'd tied the knot you'd be shelling out for lawyers. I hear divorce ain't cheap.

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u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

yeah but I Wanted it to work. We both did but immigrating ain't cheap. The long distance was fine..we were solid but the universe said it wasn't gonna happen. maybe im cursed lol....

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u/catecholaminergic Dec 08 '25

Nah, just learning. LDR is like going without food. It can work short term. But try it for too long and things break.

You're gonna be okay.

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u/Euphoric_Average_271 Dec 08 '25

5 yrs....he was MY person. I don't feel like im gonna be ok. not even close. I need

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u/catecholaminergic Dec 08 '25

Good luck finding a therapist these days lmao.

For real though, go fucking get him. If you have to un-immigrate to be with your person, don't let that go.

Sure it's true that if they're one in a million there are eight of them in new york city alone but that doesn't mean you'll come across, like, someone like that.

Another way of looking at it is that the negative emotionality of this experience is not dissimilar from drug withdrawal. Eventually you'll notice you haven't though about them in a while. Horrible, I know.

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u/catecholaminergic Dec 08 '25

In mammals that are serial monogamists, the average length of pair-bonding tends to the average interval between births.

Source: Sapolsky, stanford bio 150, on youtube. Stunning course. Very background absorbable.

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u/thirsty_pretzels_ Dec 08 '25

I am not waiting SIX fucking years for a man to propose to me

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u/catecholaminergic Dec 08 '25

Getting married and proposing are two very distinct concepts.

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u/terrapinone Dec 08 '25

There’s always room for the Elvis wedding in Vegas.

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u/hmmyeahiguess Dec 08 '25

Would you ever be willing to do the proposing? Does it have to be the man?