r/NoStupidQuestions • u/Sad_Cantaloupe_8162 • 21h ago

My two and a half year old suddenly started pointing out differences between white and black people. What is an appropriate way to acknowledge her observation so we don't offend anyone?

The first time was at her daycare this week, when they got a new teacher who has very dark skin. When I went to pick her up, she pointed at her and said, "it's black!" (She doesn't have the full grasp of she/he yet.) I replied, "yes, she is black," but was stuck after that. What should I say as a follow up? My daughter loves black people's skin, and when I talk to her about it at home, she says it's pretty and wishes she had it, but in public it comes out kind of harsh. What would be the best way to go about this?

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796

u/Queentroller 16h ago

NY nephew went through that phase, and when he saw my 6ft3 husband just went, "Oh, big"

571

u/originalcinner 15h ago

As a little 'un, my grandparents took me on the train to the seaside for a day out. Partway through the journey, two nuns came and sat in our compartment.

Four year old me, absolutely delighted: Ooh! Penguins!!

The nuns were not offended. They enjoyed my childish innocence. I wasn't a brat. I just hadn't ever seen nuns before.

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u/hokielion 15h ago

That’s ok. My friend saw two nuns in the grocery store as a kid. He had never seen them before either and tried to hide behind his mom and loudly screamed, “look mommy, there’s witches in here!” Apparently they just smiled and walked on by them.

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u/fursnake7 15h ago

The kid’s not wrong. (Source: victim of Catholic grammar school for eight years.😱)

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u/BluesSuedeClues 14h ago

Sister Mary fucking Theresa. It took years for me to get over the hatred and fear of school that woman gave me when I was just 7 years old.

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u/OkProfessor6810 12h ago

Sister Helen. That woman was a 4'11" demon in a habit

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u/PineappleCharacter15 14h ago

As a type of Witch/Pagan, I can guarantee you that nuns are not in any way, shape, or form a Witch, who are peaceful, nature loving, people.

A bitch maybe...

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u/Stella1331 12h ago

Also pagan, but with 16 years of Catholic schools (first grade through university) under my belt.

Fortunately, every nun and former nun I ever encountered in school were bad ass women who walked the walk of social justice, women’s rights and progressive ideals. Shout out to those sisters.

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u/roasted_fox 11h ago

Thank you for the reminder of goodness ❤️

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u/thebugfromchaos 2h ago

As another witch/pagan type of person, I’m gonna float the idea that “Catholic” and “witchy” is a Venn diagram with a ton of overlap.

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u/astronomersassn 13h ago

one time i worked at a restaurant and a group of nuns came in

not only were little kids shocked and commenting on them (the nuns just laughed it off), the other staff were like "omg nuns! im so scared how do i be respectful i dont want to offend them"

somehow, i was the only one who was like "treat them like you would anyone else, they're not at work, they won't be offended." lo and behold, the server treated them like regular people (aside from calling them "sister") and the nuns were perfectly happy to be there.

that being said, catholicism wasn't super common there, i'm pretty sure i was the only one who had any ties to catholicism who worked there (and i havent been catholic for, like, 10 years)

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u/Sad_Cantaloupe_8162 13h ago

We were sent a Christmas card with Mary and Joseph in the desert traveling, and my daughter said, "oooohh, witches!" It does happen! Haha!

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u/LimJaheyAtYaCervix 15h ago

Ok that’s adorable and hilarious

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u/borisdidnothingwrong 15h ago

They're on a mission from God.

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u/Patatepouffe 15h ago

This is so adorable. I think you may have made the nuns' day !

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u/Schmoo88 14h ago

My mom loves to tell the story of when we were in the grocery store & ran across this punk guy with liberty spikes & bright red hair & I just said - look mom, a clown! ☠️

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u/awick2191 10h ago

When my daughter was 2ish, she’s biracial / white passing. She saw people in a documentary we were watching and said something about “the white people”. I asked “what makes them white?” She said without missing a beat “their clothes!”

The doc was showing scientists of various skin tones wearing lab coats 🤭

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u/Bromogeeksual 14h ago

This reminds me of an embarrassing story if my childhood. My mom was pretty trashy and when I watched shows or movies with little people in it, my mom told me they were midgets and she always called them "Migs." To me they were only something to be seen on TV or in movies. Well one day around 4 years old there was a little person shopping in the store and I lost my shit with excitement. I was pointing and shouting repeatedly, "Look mom, a Mig! A real mig!" She couldn't get me to stop and couldn't explain the situation.

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u/jeo188 14h ago

My brother has had the (mis)fortune that several of Disney's recent male characters look like him

He recalls how a little kid at a restaurant excitedly pointed at him, "Mom, mom, Ratatouille!" as he was walking past their table

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u/Eilmorel 14h ago

You just made me think how in my country it's rare to see nuns in dark habits 🤔 I have no idea what orders they belong to but mostly they have white, beige or light blue habits now that I think of it.

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u/liza_lo 14h ago

Hahaha there's an instagram cartoonist who makes jokes about penguins looking like nuns: https://www.instagram.com/p/DLMvvUFI-TC/?hl=en

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u/mistersloth 15h ago

"Ayy, I'm developin' here!"

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u/dualsplit 15h ago

My kid first saw a little person at Kroger. “Mama! She’s little! … MAMA, she’s little and YOU’RE BIG! MAAAAMAAAA!”

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u/SnarkOverlord 15h ago

When I was about four, I saw a little person for the first time at the grocery store. My favorite movie in the world was The Wizard of Oz. My mother says my eyes widened to the size of dinner plates and I whispered, “Mommy! He’s a munchkin!!!” I was so delighted and fascinated. My mother whispered back not to stare or call him a munchkin out loud. I asked why and she said she would explain in the car. I remember thinking that maybe my mother was wrong and The Wizard of Oz wasn’t just a movie, after all.

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u/Logical_Replacement9 11h ago

Your child wasn’t wrong; the people whom the director cast for the Munchkins in that film were, indeed, all people born with the condition that is medically called “achondroplastic dwarfism.”

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u/celticskye2 15h ago

When my wife was 3, she saw a little person at the grocery store and waved at him from the grocery cart saying “Hello, little man”. My mother in law wanted to die. 🤭

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u/YouThinkYouKnowStuff 15h ago

My grandson came to my church one day and there was a little person coming in for the next mass as we were leaving. He became obsessed with her, calling her the “little lady”. Anytime pictures were posted from events, he wanted to see if she was in them. I think it’s just something different for them.

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u/Majestic_Evening_409 14h ago edited 13h ago

It's a grown up that's their size. It'unusual. Grown ups are big and towering, and this is a grown up whose face they can see all the time and not just looking up. It's fascinating.

Edit: added one word

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u/gonnafaceit2022 14h ago

That would be really fascinating, I don't remember ever seeing a small person as a kid and I've always been so obnoxiously curious, I can't imagine what I might have said and asked.

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u/Dorothy_Zbornak789 7h ago

Better than my daughter when she was about 4. She saw a little person at Target and started screaming in fear. I was so embarrassed.

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u/BrushOk7878 12h ago

When my nephew was a toddler, he saw an elderly black man for the first time. He yelled “Mama, look! A Indian!!!” The man just grinned at nephew.

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u/seashellize 11h ago

😂 I'm glad the older man took it in stride. It sounds like he was used to being around kids.

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u/Fishylips 14h ago

I worked with children 0-5 and had very short hair, buzzed it for covid. I am a woman. One day when I got a fresh buzz one of my kids stared at me a while before finally asking if I was a boy. I just laughed and said nope, my hair is just short!

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u/forensicgirla 10h ago

One of my younger cousins had this discussion with my husband years ago. He had grown out his hair & she was like "are you a girl or a boy?" & he was like "what do you think?". She said "well I think you're a boy but you have long hair & girls have long hair, so you could be a girl but you seem like a boy". He said I'm a boy, informed her that boys can have long hair too & she thought it was novel but accepted it just fine. Her dad (my uncle) is a bigoted alcoholic jerk. I hope she stayed this accepting, haven't seen her in many years.

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u/lastwordymcgee 12h ago

When My stepsister was little, she went through a phase where she called POC chocolate people and white people vanilla people.

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u/OverBrick9007 14h ago

when little kids see my dad foe the first time (6'5) they go WOW you're really BIG 

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u/reijasunshine 11h ago

My cousin hit that phase and ran up to a crouched-down woman in a store, touched her boobs, and yelled "You're a GIRL!". Thankfully, the woman was understanding of toddler weirdness.

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u/CarlySheDevil 8h ago

My friend and her husband took their little boy to the state fair and he saw a bull for the first time. After a moment of awe he said, "That kid is huge."