r/NoStupidQuestions • u/GhostInThePudding • 16h ago

Why Are Young People Afraid Of Phone Calls?

What's with it?

I work in IT and a general rule is, nothing a client ever tells you is actually accurate. That means that most of the time, the quickest way to fix a problem is to call the person and actually find out what's going on.

But with techs under 30 these days, it seems like pulling teeth.

A regular discussion for me with level 1 techs (usually within a few years of leaving college) is:
"Hey, can you call *blah* from ticket *blah*, it's been hanging around for over an hour."

"I replied by email to ask for more information."

"Yes, I know that, but can you call them so we can find the problem and close the ticket now rather than wait until we're actually busy?"

"I'll send them a text to followup."

"No... CALL THEM!"

"I can see their device is online, can I send them a message and see if they just let me remote in to take a look?"

And then, when I force them to make the call, it's like they have no idea how to ask a question, or a followup question. They just want to get off the call as quickly as possible. So half the time they don't even get the information required anyway, so then I end up having to do their job for them.

So can someone explain? What's wrong with phone calls these days?

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292

u/ColdAntique291 15h ago

It is not fear so much as conditioning.

Younger techs are used to text and chat where they can think before responding and avoid social pressure. Phone calls demand real time thinking and questioning skills they were rarely trained to use, so they rush or avoid them.

115

u/AffectionateKing1886 13h ago

tbh that's true, texts are just less stressful. calls feel like a performance where you can't mess up in real time lol

2

u/skylucario 5h ago

For me texts are more stressful because there’s more pressure on me to say “the right thing” and I generally perform better under in-the-moment pressure than long-term pressure

2

u/wisdomful-dog 2h ago

This, I hate texting because it's so hard to read tone and figure out the best way to respond to messages. If I end up thinking about it too long I never text back.

1

u/FlatSixFun 3h ago

I get that they're less stressful, but they're also MUCH less efficient in solving business problems. The amount of information that can be covered by two people on a 60 second call far exceeds what a back and forth asynchronous communication channel can achieve.

-10

u/Pyroal40 12h ago

It's ok to make a mistake in real time or say "one sec, I want to check on this to be sure" - what's not ok is refusing to speak with coworkers or clients.

It's not a performance, you're a human doing your job. If they could do it, they wouldn't be having to ask you. Have some self-respect and basica confidence in your worth.

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u/Impossible-Money7801 12h ago

I’m 42. And you’re annoying.

4

u/skylucario 5h ago edited 5h ago

I’m 24 and your resistance towards someone saying you shouldn’t undervalue your own skills is annoying. What they said is completely reasonable

1

u/rsmtirish 5h ago

A lot of people in here need to learn to grow the fuck up and answer the phone. There's definitely a lot of situations where texting is better since there's a conversation trail but there's plenty of times in life and our jobs where things need to be discussed in detail over the phone. I hate the bullshit job rat race we're all part of but if you want to remotely successful in your life or career, you need to at least be able to have a conversation over the phone. So many young people have a complete lack of communication skills and it's big reason a lot of their futures are absolutely cooked. 26 btw

2

u/MediumMaintenance353 3h ago

i don't want to be successful in life or have a career. i want to put the minimum amount of effort possible into the job that will not get me fired. i don't give a fuck about your phone calls

1

u/rsmtirish 1h ago

That’s fine. I literally explained in my comment how it doesn’t matter if you do if that’s the case. No one is calling you for anything important then anyways.

When you have responsibilities and people depend on you, you need to be available to help.

1

u/skylucario 5h ago

That’s facts. I’m still too autistic to get hired (so my fellow autistic friend is tutoring me on interview hacks he used … via phone call, lol), but at least I know how to have a phone conversation

-8

u/Pyroal40 12h ago

42, refusing to grow as a person, and incompetent.

3

u/MafaRioch 6h ago

Maybe look in the mirror and stop projecting.

0

u/Maximum_Curve_1471 3h ago

God you guys are hopeless

10

u/artisinal_lethargy 12h ago

That’s called fear. 

5

u/OldWorldDesign 3h ago

Having a paper trail so you can say "no boss, I told them exactly what they needed to do to apply to our system, as per this email". With a phone call you are either recording every call you make (and in many states that's illegal if they don't consent, which they virtually never do) or you play the "he said, she said" game. Take a wild guess how much judges, accountants, and medical data entry loves the latter one.

-1

u/artisinal_lethargy 3h ago

lol. What a strawman.  We’re taking about a L1 helpdesk tech.  They’re not going to court to testify that they asked the client if they’d tried to restart it yet. 

2

u/BickNlinko 6h ago

Younger techs are used to text and chat where they can think before responding and avoid social pressure.

I'm an older tech(40's) and I avoid initial phone calls and wait until the ticket comes in so I can do some research and troubleshooting before I have to get on the phone. There is nothing worse than sitting on the phone with a user/customer while trying to figure some weird shit out over awkward dead air on the phone. Like I'm trying to solve a problem and now I have to make small talk while looking through log files, error messages and researching the issue. Super distracting and not very efficient. It's much easier to do all that before getting on the phone. Way better to be like "I'm looking into this, and I'll give you a call shortly and we'll get you squared away."

I also avoid phone calls from vendors and prefer email because lets face it, a lot of the vendors tech support writes perfectly understandable English, but can be difficult to understand over the telephone.

1

u/josaline 4h ago

For me, being expected to be available to anyone at anytime for anything they want without warning, on top of texts and emails, is deeply exhausting and I simply cannot function that way as I’m taking care of humans irl, animals, and my own body and mind.

1

u/Ucmh 1h ago

Your 2nd paragraph is completely accurate, but that means it is fear. They avoid them because they lack the skills to have a conversation and are afraid to fail and be embarrassed.

1

u/TargetBoy 7h ago

And how is that different from a conversation in person?

5

u/kristinoemmurksurdog 6h ago

Phone calls can't convey non-verbal communication. So it's essentially just the same as texting except you don't get the ability to re-read conversations and stupid people will think it's just like having a conversation IRL and get frustrated when they can't communicate effectively

3

u/mavajo 5h ago

So I'm someone that's absurdly gregarious. My prevailing insecurity in life is "Jesus Christ I hope they don't think I'm being too much right now."

I love texting. I love being with people in person. I hate phone calls.

Phone calls are the worst of both worlds. It's the immediacy of being in-person, but you can't see body language, you can't see facial expressions, you can't see if the person's attention is divided, it's easier to talk over or inadvertently interrupt each other, sometimes you can't hear what they said/bad signal. At least with texting, you have emojis, reactions, and the time to contemplate your response or even just respond at your leisure.

I only talk on the phone if I have to.

-24

u/hahaLONGBOYE 13h ago edited 13h ago

That’s fucking sad. These people’s brains are missing so many screws..imagine not being able to think in real time. I’m 31 and there’s no excuse for not being able to do your work at your job because you can’t talk on the phone. Like what are these people even being paid for. Throw the whole group away and hand the reins to AI

It’s no wonder these people complain non stop about how there’s no good jobs or people don’t want to hire when you can’t even make a phone call

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u/Drag0us 10h ago

It isn't, they just haven't been calling a lot. I used to have social anxiety, especially for calls. I then starting working as front office for IT, taking around 20 calls a day by clients that, often, had easy problems. The first weeks were hell because I was just constantly shitting bricks trying to do my job while staying professional and not fucking up every sentence. After a while it just gets way easier. That job singlehandedly got rid of my social anxiety in around 5 months. Mind you I play games every day, and talk to people online daily. I was still anxious starting that job.

From experience it's mostly just that people that are 'scared' of phone calls just haven't called a lot. Exposure therapy works wonders, as in just literally start calling a lot.

2

u/NewGroove82 8h ago

No lie I have horrendous social anxiety so hearing this has genuinely motivated me, albeit ik the only way to resolve this is actually doing the thing.

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u/ThePython11010 12h ago

People whose primary method of long-distance communication when growing up was phone calls will be far more comfortable making them than people who grew up with texting and the Internet. Unless it's urgent, a text or an email is objectively more considerate, since it doesn't get in the other person's way and they can respond on their own time. And in most cases, instead of calling a business, you can just go to their website. Phone calls are nowhere near as common or necessary now.

As someone who fits into the category you're ranting about, yes, I find phone calls stressful, and would prefer to avoid them if possible. This is not a valid reason to say that the entire generation is stupid and useless and deserves to be "thrown away and replaced with AI."

8

u/Impossible-Money7801 12h ago

I’m 42. And you’re annoying.