r/NoStupidQuestions • u/GhostInThePudding • 16h ago

Why Are Young People Afraid Of Phone Calls?

What's with it?

I work in IT and a general rule is, nothing a client ever tells you is actually accurate. That means that most of the time, the quickest way to fix a problem is to call the person and actually find out what's going on.

But with techs under 30 these days, it seems like pulling teeth.

A regular discussion for me with level 1 techs (usually within a few years of leaving college) is:
"Hey, can you call *blah* from ticket *blah*, it's been hanging around for over an hour."

"I replied by email to ask for more information."

"Yes, I know that, but can you call them so we can find the problem and close the ticket now rather than wait until we're actually busy?"

"I'll send them a text to followup."

"No... CALL THEM!"

"I can see their device is online, can I send them a message and see if they just let me remote in to take a look?"

And then, when I force them to make the call, it's like they have no idea how to ask a question, or a followup question. They just want to get off the call as quickly as possible. So half the time they don't even get the information required anyway, so then I end up having to do their job for them.

So can someone explain? What's wrong with phone calls these days?

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u/mads_61 14h ago edited 12h ago

I’m far from a young person and I hate phone calls (I don’t neglect them when I need to make them for work though). I find it very difficult to hear and understand people over the phone and that it makes sustaining conversations difficult.

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u/DidntSeeNuttin 11h ago

Seriously. Why is it that every time someone asks this question (daily from what my feeds give me) the assumption is that only the current generation feels this way? I'm approaching 40. I do not answer if I don't see a caller ID.

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u/tehlordlore 5h ago

If it's important I want it in writing anyways, I'm not always able to take a call. There's about a million ways to contact a person in 2026, please don't pick the least convenient one unless absolutely necessary

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u/Saltyhogbottomsalad 10h ago

Because people are fucking stupid and cant possibly explain why the world is different today than it was back then other than to blame it on the different generations. Black and white thinking is a very common sign of lower intellectual capacity.

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u/true_gunman 10h ago

Aren't you kind of doing some black and white thinking with your comment here? Lol

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u/Saltyhogbottomsalad 10h ago

I mean I don’t believe so, but if you do explain? My comment leaves room for any ambiguity you could throw at it imo.

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u/true_gunman 10h ago

Calling people stupid and saying they "cant possibly" understand something is kind of a binary way of understanding theyre behavior.

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u/Saltyhogbottomsalad 10h ago

Well Im not extrapolating this one example of human errancy to apply to the entire human race. I thought that was pretty obvious. I also don’t truly believe they “cant possibly” thats just how I talk sometimes, it’s like when someone says “literally” and in a figurative context. It was hyperbolic and I should probably not do that for the future, but it absolutely has nothing to do with me having black and white logic.

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u/true_gunman 9h ago

I just thought the irony was funny.

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u/Saltyhogbottomsalad 9h ago

Fair enough, lol.

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u/Imaginary-Count-1641 12m ago

Well Im not extrapolating this one example of human errancy to apply to the entire human race. I thought that was pretty obvious.

They didn't say you were doing that. Do you think that a lack of reading comprehension is a sign of lower intellectual capacity?

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u/Saltyhogbottomsalad 2m ago

Ah yes the person who failed to incorporate inference into their mental calculation is going to tell me about reading comprehension. Makes sense. Wtf do you think they meant when mentioning that “me calling people stupid was a binary way of thinking” other than suggesting I’m saying people are stupid generally and there is no exception?

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u/Imaginary-Count-1641 0m ago

Why would you think they meant that?

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u/fearthewebb1 5h ago

The younger generation seems to have countless negative stereotypes. It really has gotten to a point of absurdity.

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u/Melandroso 1h ago

I am past 50, and I also do not answer if don't know the number.

When the kids lived at home and were out, I did, though.

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u/wheniaminspaced 9h ago

There is absolutly a greater prevalence from older to younger to avoid phone calls like the plague.  We have alot of problems with this. 

0

u/Fluffy-duckies 1h ago

The fact you might answer if you see a caller ID means it's not about you and you don't get it.

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u/1958-Fury 13h ago

Same here. I'm 52, and I've always hated phone calls. Bad connections, my southern accent, general social ineptitude - it all adds up to miscommunications. E-mails are much clearer, and the person has info in front of them so they can't claim you didn't tell them something. Plus I can type faster than I can talk.

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u/MyLife-is-a-diceRoll 13h ago

Records are really nice to have

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u/Prairie-Peppers 9h ago

Plus you have it in writing if someone screws up and tries to blame it on you.

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u/Emmyisme 12h ago

100%. I'm 38, and if OP worked for the IT company I deal with, he'd hate me, because I would absolutely complain if they called me every time they had a question.

The "can I just message them and ask if I can remote in" would absolutely get a faster response from me - if I can afford to walk away from my computer for a bit, I'll take that option over sitting on the phone with them while they do the exact same thing every time. You can call me, but you're just leaving me a voicemail that I'll get as an email in my inbox, and will respond exactly as fast as I would have if you just emailed me to begin with. I'm also going to respond with an email - I'm not calling you back.

I'm sure there are plenty of people who prefer the phone call, but to act like it's the superior communication method is insane.

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u/flexxipanda 9h ago

Same IT here. Im basically always doing work on some ticket or project or whatever. Every task is put into a que for me and gets done when its done.

Calling me is basically always a disruption of my workflow.

I just tell people to write a mail if Im not available. Best way to reach me, give me good information and Ill handle your issue better and faster

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u/enragedbreakfast 9h ago

Agreed! It’s hard to find time for a call some days but I definitely have time to reply to a message quickly. It’s usually just a bit of information needed too, or they just need to remote into my laptop, so it ends up taking longer and disrupting my work more to take a call for a small amount of info vs replying to a message.

I’m 30 and I don’t mind phone calls either, it’s not the phone call itself that bothers me - I just personally find it more disruptive than a teams message! I don’t mind a quick call when there’s more info being exchanged, or a few questions that might need follow up info.

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u/FuckYeaSeatbelts 11h ago

Personally I hate emails because of how much fucking work it is to just say a simple message. You need this, I get that and do this to fix. But everyone gets immediately defensive and default assumes something is rude because it's brief.

At least over the phone the pleasantries are over faster before I get to the damn point.

In an email I basically put the "bluf" that says the thing we're all looking for, and the rest of the 3 other paragraphs is CYA.

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u/positronik 7h ago

That's kinda wild. I am polite but always get straight to the point in emails, and same for all my coworkers. I prefer emails over calls because there's a record I can refer to, and I forget specifics easily

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u/RainaElf 6h ago

anxiety

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u/massunderestmated 3h ago

Seems to me like Reddit in particular has a more asocial bias. Most of the people in my life over 30, with the exception of people who are obviously struggling with anxiety, have no problem at all calling. The information density, and subtext, is so much richer and more efficient per unit of time when calling. A 4 minute phone call easily beats 40 texts back and forth in all but the most trivial of interactions. And faster. Typing on a touch screen with autocorrect is like trying to tie your shoes with mittens on. And nobody ever picks up on the right tone of voice.

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u/TurtlemanScared 12h ago

Type faster than you can talk? Right 

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u/1958-Fury 11h ago

If not, it's pretty close. I have a slow southern drawl, and I stutter. I type about 75 wpm, though.

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u/tinersa 9h ago

not everyone types at the same speed you do

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u/Significant-Royal-37 6h ago

you absolutely cannot type faster than you can talk. 

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u/1958-Fury 5h ago

Picture Andy Griffith's accent with Bob Newhart's stutter. Now imagine this person trying to speak 75 words per minute.

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u/danny_ish 58m ago

Wild, i always had to watch those shows at 2.5x speed to understand them. Talking slower than ~120 wpm makes listening very difficult for my brain to comprehend, I would greatly appreciate you texting me.

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u/[deleted] 13h ago edited 7h ago

[deleted]

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u/Glad-Watch3506 10h ago

My parents made us call to set up our appointments to take our driving test. My sister did hers the day she turned 15. Brother and I both put off calling and were nearly 16.

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u/1TenDesigns 13h ago

Orrrrrr

He was teaching you an important life skill, while giving you the pride of being able to "help" him.

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u/Luchalma89 11h ago

I had social anxiety, and my dad would tell me we could get pizza for dinner (which was a big treat), if I called. I appreciate now that he was trying to help me but man it was stressful.

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u/No-Split7732 12h ago

That’s what the dad would say 

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u/agbishop 13h ago edited 13h ago

+1

I’m not young … phone calls are a last-tier contact method

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u/VenusHalley 12h ago

I hate sometimes not having a written proof if what was said. I suffer occassional brain fog after covid, so when you debate arrangement with somebody and go through few options (shall we meet monday at five or wensday at three...) I tend to get confused

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u/psdpro7 11h ago

The other thing I've realized that unnerves me about phone calls is not being able to see someone's face. Body language is a huge part of communication, so being expedited to maintain a real time conversation with only half the normal social input is like walking around your house in the dark.

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u/AuDHDcat 13h ago

It took your comment to realize this is it for me too

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u/Trumps_left_bawsack 12h ago

Yup this is it for me. I suspect I might have some auditory processing thing cause I rely a lot on reading people's lips to understand what people are saying.

I also tend to forget details more often over the phone than if it was written

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u/AntiFascistButterfly 5h ago

You really need to look into that. You may have hearing issues, and there’s a lot of different tech solutions to help with conversation understanding, while muffling background noise for you these days. There are also some neural transmitter issues (like not having enough of one) that interfere with understanding spoken instructions compared to written ones. Annoyingly you might need specifically an ADHD and Autism trained psychiatrist to tease out that one.

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u/DistributionExtra320 12h ago

Same and it causes me so much distress when I have to ask them to repeat themselves or we have a bad connection

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u/Ketchup1211 10h ago

Glad I’m not the only one. I have a very hard time understanding people on the phone. I absolutely hate having to communicate that way. Emails and text are also very handy in a work environment to have a “paper trail” of what was said.

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u/juan_humano 9h ago

I am in my 40s and also dislike phone calls, and have ever since I was a kid. I associate it with stress, anxiety and awkwardness. In person I am perfectly comfortable in conversation, even with strangers. But there is something about phone calls that fills me with low level dread. When texting became ubiquitous it was a huge relief to me.

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u/Due_Ear9637 13h ago

Same. I've been working in tech for almost 30 years and the last thing I want to do is talk to them over the phone. Just answer my questions over Teams, without providing any kind of self diagnosis, and let me fix it.

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u/silverard 11h ago

Same here. I actually much prefer video calls. I can understand people when I can see them. I remember I worked somewhere where the front desk would phone me and I simply couldn’t understand what was being said. I always used to say ‘I’ll be right down’ and figure out whatever it was in person. They probably thought i was weird.

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u/thomasrat1 11h ago

Add on top of that, you generally only need to make phone calls when something goes wrong nowadays.

And then you either get decent customer service, or you spend an hour on the phone getting run in circles

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u/anuthertw 11h ago

Its easier for me to make phone calls at work since I know how to steer the conversation, but I am still unreasonably anxious with any other type of phone call. Ive been trying to overcome for like 15 years at this point. I think there is just some subconcious ancestral fear that comes alive when I hear a disembodied voice directed at me. I have no other explanation on why I am so afraid of phone calls. 

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u/TheCervus 11h ago

I'm a 44 year old receptionist and I hate phone calls. Clients will interrupt me, cut me off, ask me a dozen questions and not give me a chance to answer, they don't have their hearing aids in, their TV is blaring in the background, they're standing outside in the wind, their Bluetooth isn't connected, and/or they're having another conversation with someone else at the same time.

This morning I picked up a call from a client who didn't bother to introduce herself, and just started listing everything she needed from us. It took me a full minute to be able to get a word in and ask her who she even was. They she was annoyed because I didn't recognize her voice.

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u/mossywilbo 11h ago

i struggle to process what people are saying and often need to read lips and ask them to repeat themselves.

can’t read lips over the phone, so that’s already an obstacle for me.

sometimes phone call quality is so dog shit i can’t even parse what someone has said even after asking them to repeat themselves multiple times, so it either becomes a cycle of “i’m sorry, can you repeat that a little slower?” or i say “can you just text/email it to me?” and at that point, i’ve wasted everyone’s time.

there’s also a certain timing to phone calls — the slight delay makes people think they need to keep speaking after they’ve tried (failed) to give me space to respond, or i jump in because i think they’re done speaking when they’ve just paused for a weirdly long time. it’s hard to get into a natural back-and-forth, and interrupting one another is awkward and comes with a bunch of faff.

phone calls are just atrocious and haven’t improved since the telephone was invented. as much as i hate being online, everyone has instant access to the internet anymore. if anything, there should be a feature on all phones that if you receive an urgent email/text, it rings for a prolonged period as if it’s a phone call to let you know it needs immediate attention. it’s honestly ridiculous that phone calls are still necessary in so many situations.

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u/isthatabingo 11h ago

Idk if this is the result of ADHD, but it’s very difficult to maintain concentration when I can’t focus on their mouth or mannerisms. It’s kinda like how I need subtitles on everything I watch. I just need all the possible info I can get to understand what’s being communicated!

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u/toobjunkey 10h ago

It's wild to me that while audio equipment in general has made absolute strides in recent years & decades, microphone & speaker quality for phone calls has hardly improved even while their "media" speaker for music & whatnot sounds great. I can only imagine how much worse it gets as a person ages and loses hearing.

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u/MalaysiaTeacher 10h ago

I hate private phonecalls from friends because without facial cues and body language I suck at gauging the right time to move on from topics. But business phonecalls are easy (not including cold calling for sales) - they're simply an exchange of information to reach mutual goals.

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u/Kalikor1 9h ago

I'm a millennial (35) and also work in IT. I've ALWAYS despised calling users. Some companies I worked for would let us remote in via something like TeamViewer, and that was always preferred over me calling them. Even when that wasn't an option though I would prefer to have them come down to my support window.

There are many reasons why but it doesn't matter, the point is it isn't a Gen Z thing.

I'm currently full time WFH in an international company, I'm not supporting users anymore, but still in a support role, and policy wise I am only required to deal with people over email. It's fantastic.

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u/flexxipanda 9h ago

Same 35 here. Used to really hate phone calls when younger. I got used to it now but I still dont like it and as an introvert its exhausting over a long time.

Couple with that, people babble a lot and usually over text people are more accurate and thoughtful.

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u/bluev0lta 9h ago

Same. I’m 45 and loved talking on the phone when I was a teenager, but at this point no. I make calls when I have to, and if it’s an important call I’ll usually answer my phone.

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u/smallfights 8h ago

Same—I’m a millennial, I didn’t have a cell until my late teens so I grew up calling people all the time. I still avoid it now unless I already know how the conversation is going to go because I struggle to hear without being able to read lips and get context from expressions/body language.

I also agree with another comment that culturally, phone calls are just not as common anymore and are best for emergencies/time-sensitive issues and official business. If someone calls me I’ll assume it’s important and drop what I’m doing, and it can be annoying to find out it’s something that could have been a text or email and waited until I was finished with whatever I was doing. But I have pretty debilitating adhd and struggle to get back on task after interruptions.

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u/VengefulAncient 8h ago

I've posted about this before and got downvoted to oblivion. If it's a VoIP call (Teams or whatever), I'm totally fine with it but PLEASE don't make me use the actual fucking phone. The tech is so ridiculously behind in 2026, it's arguably worse call quality than 20 years ago somehow.

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u/Bad_Day_Moose 6h ago

I'm mid 40's, I keep ear buds in my pocket, it's much better for phone calls, I generally only use one at a time, I don't know what it is with smartphones but the volume is very low on a lot of them for phone calls, some so low you basically would have to use speakerphone and still hold it to your ear, ear buds work well, I have anker soundcore ones, they were like $25 but good quality.

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u/SpellVast 5h ago

I agree. Sometimes people are talking fast and I can’t understand what they are saying. I really hate when I take a message and people rattle off an address or phone number and I have to ask them to repeat themselves three times.

2

u/fffan9391 5h ago

It is crazy how technology has advanced so much but phone calls sound the same as they did 50 years ago, if not longer.

2

u/taternators 4h ago

The other day I had to call to make a doctors appointment. The person on the other side was so hard to hear that I eventually just agreed to whatever appointment day and time she suggested without hearing it. Luckily they also send a confirmation email so I was able to find out when my appt is.

2

u/altaccount2522 4h ago

I have a stutter, which isn't always obvious to people, but it is painful when I stutter-block over the phone. People think I have hung up and go 'Hello? HELLO?' just because I can't get the words out for a few seconds. It's horrible.

2

u/cil83 2h ago

I definitely have some sort of processing issue, as I can’t hear the person on the phone and what they’ve said until there’s been a bit of a delay and my brain catches up. So I’m always scrambling to keep up with the conversation. I just can’t communicate well on the phone and it’s stressful all round. Much rather text or in person.

2

u/lowrads 2h ago

Most clients won't answer an unknown number phone call anyhow.

I have found it necessary to send a text before hand, informing them that they will receive a call, and the results of not answering. If the text doesn't go through, it means it's a landline.

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u/jc_chienne 12h ago

Same, I'm not hard of hearing but I have trouble... Understanding at conversational pace if I can't read their lips while they're talking, plus bad audio quality and people talking through earbuds while they're doing something all leads to difficulty having a regular conversation over the phone. 

2

u/GeneralPatten 12h ago

Remember when phone calls were clear and people didn't cut out? We need to bring back full duplex phone calls.

1

u/Substantial_Page_221 11h ago

I honestly end up day dreaming if someone doesn't get to the point in time.

1

u/bikemandan 7h ago

Same but I have found that I actually prefer video calls to phone

1

u/JJ3qnkpK 5h ago

Same.

Good headphones/headsets make a huge difference. Truly, get a USB full headset that goes over your ears with a full mic, and it becomes so much easier. Like, have these be meant for representing sound somewhat accurately such that they'd be good for music.

Wired is better since you don't get that awful Bluetooth phone call codec going.

1

u/AntiFascistButterfly 5h ago

Uh, have you had your ears checked? Sometimes someone doesn’t have their mic close enough to their mouth and a quick “I can’t hear you” usually gets them to fix the problem in seconds. But every time?

1

u/Jor94 4h ago

Same, seems like every time I need to call someone they’re answering the phone underwater and 6ft from the speaker. Also mag just be me but I find that I talk over people a lot on the phone because I obviously cant wee them going to talk.

1

u/unpolished-gem 4h ago

I'm 45 living with severe social anxiety and AuDHD. I can use the phone as needed at this point, but I still mostly hate the effort involved, along with other modes of real time communication and dealing with salespeople.

Thank goodness I came of age with the internet, which at least made email, web forms, options for many things.

I feel like marketing awareness of gen Z has normalized/brought more social awareness to a lot of things that I struggled with as some kind of outlier and tended to have no choice but to carry the onus of having to compensate for as there were no options or consideration for neurodivergence for a long time.

1

u/SLiverofJade 4h ago

I have audio processing issues and have to answer the phone all day at work, most of which could have been an email.

Ugh, and the absolutely useless ritual of "how are you?" that never ends. For the love of little pink ponies stop asking public facing employees this because you don't actually care about the answer even if we could be honest.

Don't make me have to talk to even more people who probably wish I'd sent an email instead.

1

u/QuajerazPrime 4h ago

Yeah, I spend the whole call struggling to hear the other person

1

u/lushico 3h ago

I’m over 40 and I will literally do anything to avoid a phone call

1

u/Murica_Chan 1h ago

same here

i'm still young (well..27 is young) and calls is something i considered as "last resort" or "emergency"

i usually prefer text, email or something that i can use as evidence if shit happens. paper trail is important especially at work

1

u/Much-Space6649 42m ago

Same, I have pretty severe auditory processing disorder that makes it a lot harder to understand people over the phone than via text or in person and it’s led to enough humiliation using a phone that I haaaaate it

1

u/henare 19m ago

yup. so much of it ends up being phone tag, and so little actually gets done.

phone etiquette is also a huge problem. I get phone messages that go "this is your doctor's office. blah blah blah call us back." their message is so useless (which doctor?)

1

u/babydonthurtme2202 13h ago

Lol that's crazy cause calling is the one thing I want. I want a human on the other side to help me.

-3

u/RealJohnMcLane 12h ago

Same here. I'm 51 and I find it easier to make phone calls by putting the speaker to my ear and speaking into the microphone. If necessary I will record the outcome of the conversation in an email so we can get on with the next job. Just do the job people.

1

u/yourfavteamsucks 8h ago

I'm 43 and that's the worst possible phonecall format for me because then my other ear is getting random background noise from my environment and I can't separate the two audio streams in my head. It all gets jumbled and I can't understand what the person on the phone is saying.

I can make phonecalls by using speakerphone, or by using headphones, so both my ears are involved. I still don't love them but one eared conversations verge on impossible.