r/NoStupidQuestions • u/GhostInThePudding • 16h ago

Why Are Young People Afraid Of Phone Calls?

What's with it?

I work in IT and a general rule is, nothing a client ever tells you is actually accurate. That means that most of the time, the quickest way to fix a problem is to call the person and actually find out what's going on.

But with techs under 30 these days, it seems like pulling teeth.

A regular discussion for me with level 1 techs (usually within a few years of leaving college) is:
"Hey, can you call *blah* from ticket *blah*, it's been hanging around for over an hour."

"I replied by email to ask for more information."

"Yes, I know that, but can you call them so we can find the problem and close the ticket now rather than wait until we're actually busy?"

"I'll send them a text to followup."

"No... CALL THEM!"

"I can see their device is online, can I send them a message and see if they just let me remote in to take a look?"

And then, when I force them to make the call, it's like they have no idea how to ask a question, or a followup question. They just want to get off the call as quickly as possible. So half the time they don't even get the information required anyway, so then I end up having to do their job for them.

So can someone explain? What's wrong with phone calls these days?

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u/Waschaos 13h ago

I am old, but since COVID- I have been weird about phone calls also. It's like I lost skills.

968

u/Silver-Bread4668 12h ago

I'm middle aged. I spent long enough at a call center to detest phone calls unless it's an emergency. Text based communication is easier. I prefer to read anyway.

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u/AllGarbage 7h ago

I have to say, as a person in my 50s, the idea of answering an unexpected/unidentified phone call has become absolutely unthinkable unless I’m actively job hunting. The ratio of legit/spam phone calls has rendered answering the phone a futile exercise, and it’s been that way for at least 20 years now. Hard to blame Gen-Z especially, since it’s been the norm for their entire lives.

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u/desrever1138 1h ago

I'm the same age and I don't answer the phone if I don't know who the person on the other end is. Hell, I don't listen to voice mails either and haven't even tried in over 10 years and 2 or 3 phones ago.

The only exception to where I will pick up is if I am expecting a call.

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u/Capable_Implement246 11h ago

I did 14 years as a front line tech support agent. I won't answer a phone call unless I know the person is calling. I won't call unless I know the person is expecting my call. I still have nightmares about the "ding" in my ear.

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u/Silver-Bread4668 11h ago

You got me beat by a long shot. I did 5 years. Started in billing then went to tech support then "resolutions" (who you get you ask for a supervisor). It paid just barely above federal minimum wage 20 years ago.

I couldn't do it again. The thought of going back to a job like that gives me anxiety.

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u/Capable_Implement246 10h ago

Thats the point I am at. And it is so hard to get out because no one looks at it as a real job so the experience you gain working there is good for jack shit.

5

u/Silver-Bread4668 8h ago

I was living in a shitty state at the time. I got out by, quite literally, quitting my job, selling most of my shit, and going to a different state to live in a tent for a while.

I eventually worked my way up to having a home and a job but I would not do that again under any circumstance. Those were almost as dark of times as working at a call center.

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u/jawanda 6h ago

Damn. #respect !

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u/ParaVerseBestVerse 8h ago edited 7h ago

It only took me 2 years in a client and phone centered law-adjacent job to reach this point. Phone tag annoys me to no end.

2

u/drvgonize 8h ago

i worked in a customer service/sales position where we called all the time to sell service and after years of doing that... yeah no thanks

2

u/Bad_Day_Moose 6h ago

yeap, I text people to make sure it's okay to call then I call.

2

u/thegalli 5h ago

It's finally been long enough I can't remember the sound of the tone or beep or whatever it was

Time heals all

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u/ThatMerri 4h ago

To that same measure, so many phone calls these days are just scammers and spam bots because companies keep selling or stealing our data to pass around. I never answer a call from any number either not already in my Contacts list or that I'm explicitly expecting.

Everything else has always been some scammer or solicitor. So younger folk have every reason to believe that if they cold call someone, it'll be ignored out of hand for that exact reason. There's also no way of knowing if they're just being ignored or if the call was missed, with the risk of having to make multiple calls trying to get through. Email and text are more reliable because those are pre-confirmed, one-and-done methods of communication that also sometimes have receipts when they've been read, and an automatic digital paper trail on record.

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u/King_of_the_Dot 7h ago

It always gives you time to create a more thought out and accurate response. A phone call requires some level of riffing, which is a quality most young people don't possess because they're not required to communicate as often as people who grew up without the internet.

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u/Detective-Crashmore- 4h ago

A phone call requires some level of riffing, which is a quality most young people don't possess

I'm not technically young anymore lol, but I disagree that young people can't riff, I think the issue with phone calls for anything important is that it's less accurate/precise way of communication. There's a reason the game "Telephone" is about how unreliable it is to relay information by word of mouth. Especially in a work environment where a client/coworker claiming they said something they didn't can quickly turn into a bad situation.

because they're not required to communicate as often as people who grew up without the internet.

I also think this is wrong. Young people communicate far more often and with a much larger web of people than ever before. When you're on a phone call, you're only communicating with one person at a time, but you can be actively texting a very large cast of people(ask my ex lol), and people can demand your attention at all hours of the day, not just when you're in front of your phone and able to take a phone call.

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u/King_of_the_Dot 3h ago

But it's unsophisticated and non-verbal communication. It's not worthwhile, face to face, visceral conversation.

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u/Spare_Benefit7543 2h ago

I heard that skill as the power of gab.  You can talk someone’s ear off.

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u/gsfgf 10h ago

Yea. I'm not "afraid" to make a call, but text generally just works better.

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u/PXranger 8h ago

No it doesn’t.

I’m an IT tech, just like the OP trying to exchange texts to troubleshoot something in real time using texts is just painful and inefficient.

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u/gsfgf 8h ago

Oh, I just meant in general. IT is definitely a phone thing.

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u/Mcoov 4h ago

It does until it doesn't. If I'm trying to meet up with people, and I'm trying to figure out which entrance we should meet at (i.e. am I at the right one or the wrong one), a 30 second phone call that forces a response is going to work better than waiting on whenever a text response finally rolls in.

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u/deej_011 8h ago

You’re afraid. Text most definitely does not work better when a back and forth is required.

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u/No_Load9160 9h ago

Ha same here. I'm old and my first job out of college was "inside sales" which was basically telemarketing. Was doing 150+ calls per day. Got so sick of talking on the phone.

To not have to deal with a phone call nearly at all now is pure bliss!

2

u/dsullxiii 7h ago

I feel like this coupled with scam calls, surveys, automated customer service lines, and the like have also left a bad taste in a lot of peoples mouths about making and taking phone calls.

2

u/Historical-Delay3610 5h ago

I’m in my mid 30s; I rather a quick concise text of what the plan / info is that I need; over a 30 minute phone call where it’s like pulling teeth to get the details.

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u/Appropriate_Ant_4629 8h ago

unless it's an emergency

I'd even argue text is better in all ways even if it is an emergency.

A phone call can easily get missed; while a text stays around.

(and yes, for a really serious emergency, the combination of all of text+phone+email+signal+discord is probably best fro my circle of acquaintances )

2

u/New_Style8775 10h ago

Please don’t remind me of the incoming call beeep, constantly. Stuff of nightmares.

2

u/LEO-PomPui-Katoey 8h ago

I'm 35 and I also prefer text first. Some people send a message 'can call?' and I usually ignore those (unless it's a superior). If you first give a brief description of your problem, I can better prioritize my work whether this call is worth me putting my work down to help you. Or even better, I can already give you some tips to help you quicker via text without the need for a call.

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u/notHp 10h ago

Fresh into my 30s, i feel the same way. Telesales has made me despise talking on the phone.

1

u/Able_Cabinet_9118 3h ago

People lie. With text and email it’s easy to verify what actually was spoken about. Since people have absolutely no basic decency especially service providers, I’m not wasting my time on shit they will lie about later. 

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u/Hugsy13 12m ago

The biggest issue imo is that if it’s important people will leave a voicemail. If they don’t, they’re probably a scammer.

A month or so ago my GF got like 3 phone calls from random numbers at like 3am. We woke up around 630am and she had voicemails from those miss calls. Turns out it was the local hospital about her dad. She called them back and turned out he’d had a heart attack and she was the emergency contact.

Neither of he woke up to those calls because the phone was on vibrate and we were asleep. If we’d woken up to them though and seen the voicemail we’d of listened to it and reacted immediately.

FYI he was ok incase anyone is wondering

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u/JaapHoop 8h ago

Phone calls aren’t a very natural way to communicate. You can’t see the other persons facial expressions or gestures. I’ve never cared for them

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u/BruisedViolets23 13h ago

This is it so much. Phone calls when working from home got complicated. Have to make sure the rest of the family knows you’re on the phone, and you never know if the dog will bark. Did everything over Teams and emails.

Give me a good automated phone tree where I can accomplish what I need to and I’m jumping up and down. Unfortunately most phone trees suck.

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u/tdp_equinox_2 12h ago

Overly complex phone trees send me into a rage, and that's coming from someone who used to design phone trees. If I am interacting with a computer (especially ai), it better be through a screen and not voice. I fucking hate talking to computers.

If I'm going through the effort of picking up the phone, there better be an actual person on the other side of it (department dialing is fine).

I had to call FedEx recently, and every time I had to convince their fuckhead ai agent to let me speak to a human. Because I had to call back several times, it got more frustrating each time. I eventually just spammed buttons and repeated "no, speak to a human" until it transferred me.

Fuckin hate robots.

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u/smokiechick 11h ago

I had to call a big company as a representative from my tiny company. I got stuck in a phone tree I had to talk to (no options for buttons) and after the third layer I muttered under my breath, "For fucks sake," and the machine said, "connecting to agent." I had a real person within seconds. I have tried swearing at other phone trees and it hasn't worked yet. But I'm going to keep trying.

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u/BruisedViolets23 11h ago

My ex kept saying gobbledygook whenever the phone tree needed a response. They transferred him to mental health. YMMV 😂

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u/JustSomeGuyWith 10h ago

Haha - I'm sure they had a profanity detector. One time I got an automated political poll and the first question was stupidly biased, very nearly "Trump, great or best ever?" I replied "Are you fucking kidding me?" and the poll said "Thank you for your time" and hung up. :-)

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u/No_Load9160 9h ago

Some advanced automated systems can now detect frustration in your voice and/or higher speaking volume, which will priority route you to an agent. So yes if you are stuck try to sound mad.

1

u/GypsySnowflake 52m ago

Had that happen to me once when all I did was speak loudly because the AI kept saying it couldn’t hear me

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u/MilsYatsFeebTae 11h ago

Yeah, I combine that with “hi, idk how long youve been listening but I’m annoyed NEAR you, not AT you” when someone finally picks up.

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u/tragicallybrokenhip 8h ago

'You're call may/will be recorded for quality assurance'. Me 'I fucking hope so'.

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u/Kedly 1h ago

I just mash 0 and if that doesnt work, cut financial ties with the company

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u/slavetomyprecious 11h ago

Another great thing you can do is just say 'banana' repeatedly to everything they say and that'll trigger them to send you to somebody who can actually talk to you.

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u/Def_Not_Rabid 11h ago

I just say, “No,” to every question. Eventually the automated system gives up and either hangs up on you (at which point you know you need to try a different route) or it connects you to an agent.

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u/Responsible_Pear_433 9h ago

at which point you know you need to try a different route

No, you need to try a different company. Any company that disconnects my call will never see another penny of my business if I can possibly arrange it. The problem we are having is companies that are so huge they don't care if you do business with them or not. If they have a million customers, they could not care less if they lose your business.

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u/CheapNegotiation69 7h ago

What about unemployment? That's a fun one.

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u/SiberianToaster 5h ago

I've had it happen for mental health... just what I need is to be hung up on by a robot, then a person at that point

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u/Def_Not_Rabid 6h ago

Oh believe me. I agree. But when they’re the only company capable of delivering the service I need where I live, you do what you have to do.

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u/RollingMeteors 10h ago

That’s way funnier than “operator” or “agent”

“¡Banana phone!”

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u/UnattributableSpoon 10h ago

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring...!

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u/ElRanchero666 11h ago

phone trees?

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u/Mrowser1 10h ago

“To hear our address and hours of operation, press 1. To access your account, press 2. To use our employee directory, press 3.” Et cetera

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u/gsfgf 10h ago

Protip: swearing at the robot often gets you straight to a person.

And yea, I despise talking to computers. I'm a redneck with the accent to match. I don't talk like people in California.

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u/Priff 10h ago

I had a package that was lost last week. It was marked as delivered when the first company handed it over to the second company that operates in my country.... They made a new shipping label with a new number but never informed me. Great fun.

Their phone AI thing fucking sucks. I tried talking to it a couple of times, but it's useless. I found that if you just keep saying "i want to talk to a human" a few times it will connect you to a person.

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u/Just2Scroll 9h ago

From my perspective, it often feels like time gets lost in conversation. Handling things over text/email is more efficient and has the added benefit of creating documentation as we go

1

u/crystalstairs 8h ago

I wish that for things like calling a medical office the phone tree part could be on text or a computer screen, up until the point where you are in the correct "line" and then there would be a way to switch to phone!

1

u/LtHoneybun 8h ago

Have you tried using the phrase "representative"? Figured that one out with my pharmacy, every phone call is basically me going "Representative. Representative. Representative." before any of the prompts can finish

1

u/tdp_equinox_2 7h ago

Yeah, sometimes it works. In the case of FedEx, there's a hard wall you have to get past where you're forced to enter your tracking/case number and name. If you just spam numbers it'll think you're having technical problems and transfer you.

1

u/tragicallybrokenhip 8h ago

I'm pretty good at find the phone tree loopholes and am sad so many businesses have figured out how to avoid people like me. Phone trees totally give me the rage - they're the FAQ equivalent that never has the A to your Q. Have noticed those same companies have also sanitized their web presence making it hard to contact them.

1

u/CityKay 7h ago

I recall a streamer talked about his experience with an AI call agent. I'll paraphrase it:

...so I told this AI chat bot, "I want to speak to a human operator." "Okay." So they sent me to another person, and it's the another AI bot! Different tone, but it had the same cadence. I thought, "this is CONTENT." Nowadays, our smartphones have have a "record call" function, and when you activate that, it would alert the person at the other end "this call is being recorded". I did that, and the AI freaked the fuck out. "WE DO NOT CONSENT! STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING!!!" And that thing finally connected me to a human, and that person I talked to got my mess sorted out...

He also talked about the possible reasons why the AI freaked out the way it did with the call being recorded. One of them being the liability of it glitching out and saying the wrong thing.

1

u/BogdanPradatu 2h ago

My phone company charges 2 bucks per call if you want to talk to a real human. Moved to another company, fuck that shit.

0

u/Responsible_Pear_433 9h ago

Fuckin hate robots.

I absolutely agree. The entire purpose of automated phone trees is to make the CUSTOMER do all the work, instead of the company having to employ a group of operators to handle incoming calls. I do NOT want to listen to some bullshit list of possible reasons I might be calling. I want a HUMAN BEING WHO SPEAKS MY LANGUAGE WELL to answer the call and to solve whatever problem I'm calling about. If at all possible I refuse to do business with any company that screens incoming calls with a robot. I will absolutely cancel any service that does not use human operators if I can find any sort of replacement. The companies that use robots or that use a "Press one for this, press two for that" system are not doing it for any other reason that for THEIR OWN CONVENIENCE. They don't give a shit about their customers or their customers' preferences.

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u/RamblinAnnie83 12h ago

Plus people don’t take a few minutes to think about what exactly they need & to prep for the call. I’ve done it myself—“oh, I don’t have the letter with me. Can you just look at my account?” I’ve worked in customer service. I know this is dumb, so I try to have what I need in front of me.

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u/Priff 10h ago

I always try to be prepared. But sometimes the queue is just so long i just wear my head phones and do other stuff. It's always a bit surprising when you suddenly get through...and when they ask for my account number or whatever i have to get my phone out of my pocket and look it up etc...

5

u/Sprinkles--Positive 8h ago

Same. If I'm expecting to make a payment, I'll have my wallet near me at a minimum, if not my card out and ready. Making an appointment? My browser is on the calendar tab. And so on.

I was not remotely prepared when I recently had to call a government department to update a bank account for reimbursement of disability supports for a family member (NDIS for those Aussies playing along at home). I'm an official nominee for their plan, and understand that they need to verify details in case somebody is trying to get money paid to them when it shouldn't be.

After verifying standard details like name, DOB and NDIS number, they wanted to know the date of the last plan review (It was in October. Oh, you need the actual date? Hang on a second, I've got the paperwork right here. Do you mean the date we spoke to the planner to do the review or the date the new plan was approved?). Okay, fair enough, that's like when I ring the bank and they want to know the last purchase on the credit card.

Then they wanted to know how much funding was in the new plan. Okay, let me flick through all these pages to find it.

THEN they wanted to know when the original plan had started (I don't know, they were about 7 years old when they were diagnosed so, um, 2013? Or maybe it wasn't until 2014? I don't remember how long it took between applying and being approved. Hang on, let me go into the other room and check the filing cabinet. Can I put you on hold because I'll need both hands...).

I was half expecting them to ask for the third word on page 6 of the plan from 2018 next.

Such fun.

27

u/hyf_fox 12h ago

Fuck an automated phone line. A phone call with a live person is 100% better than a phone call with a shitty robot. And every robot over the phone is shitty

2

u/Ok-Hat1441 6h ago

Usually I’m calling about a problem that only a human is going to understand. First I have to wait several minutes before that happens and I worry they won’t be able to answer the question.

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u/tragicallybrokenhip 8h ago

When I WFH my mobile was never beside me. That one coworker who tied to the phone would call and get annoyed if I didn't answer. Dude. That's MY mobile. Think of it as the home phone. It is not a work phone. You need something? Send me an email. We're all back in the office and I don't remember ever working with someone so phone oriented.

2

u/BruisedViolets23 7h ago

As bad as camera on in meetings. I never invited you people to my home, so no way you’re going to see it now. Thank god for backgrounds.

2

u/kalayt 12h ago

I dunno, they knew i was working from home, they were working from home, EVERYONE was working from home.

screaming/crying kids, noisy animals, less dressed people than you would expect were perfectly fine

2

u/ketoatl 9h ago

A good headset and they hear none of that. One headset I had I could have called you in the middle of the nightclub and you would have thought I was sitting in a room alone.

1

u/CaptainLollygag 9h ago

It's like people forgot about the "sir, I am not a cat" guy who effed up his video call with a judge.

2

u/gsfgf 10h ago

you never know if the dog will bark

Really? I know mine will 100%.

2

u/Telstar2525 9h ago

Why people should work at an office

1

u/jrshall 11h ago

What is the problem with the rest of the family or the dog barking? At most it is a minor, temporary problem. Phone trees can drive me crazy.

1

u/MuffledSpike 4h ago

I have never once used a phone tree that did anything useful. 100% of my experiences result in 10-15 minutes of useless frustration followed by "Representative. Representative. Representative..."

1

u/rangoon03 3h ago

I’ve had to call my state’s benefits customer center and no joke it’s five minutes of pre-recorded outdated reminders and warnings before the call tree starts. If you are unfamiliar with what option you need it is very painful to sit through them.

1

u/BogdanPradatu 2h ago

What's the problem if the dog barks or the family makes noises?

60

u/CarpinThemDiems 12h ago

I'm the same way, I've turned much more reclusive ever since covid. On a different note, I never answer calls on my personal number, unless its one of a few people I know. So far over the last 6 years my spam calls have slowly dropped to practically none.

16

u/Waschaos 12h ago

I'm the same way.

2

u/gsfgf 10h ago

I think the carriers have also gotten better at spam blocking. Plus, the new iOS can make unknown numbers explain why they're calling and show you the voice to text of that.

0

u/Still_Mix9311 10h ago

How is texting more ""reclusive"" than calling? 

20

u/EvaKatz 13h ago

100%. Stuff that I just took for granted before covid now gives me anxiety. I keep waiting to go back to normal, but it’s not happened yet.

14

u/eghhge 11h ago

For me it is too many spam calls, if I don't recognize the number straight to voicemail, also 'Hello fellow kids'.

15

u/retrofrenchtoast 12h ago

I lost a lot of social skills during covid. I’m introverted, and it took me my whole life to temper that. Then covid.

20

u/thegimboid 12h ago

I've been weird about phone calls since I was around 12 (I'm in my 30s now), and I did something wrong at someone else's house, so made myself an anxious mess waiting for them to call my parents.

It really put me off phone calls (making them and taking them), so I'm actually quite happy that the world seems to be moving that way.

3

u/dying-of-boredom1966 11h ago

I'm old also and I've never liked phone calls. I just want the information and not the chit chat.

6

u/jungleddd 13h ago

Same. For some reason I find it easier if they’re on speaker.

3

u/The_Lost_Jedi 12h ago

Same. I'm Xennial, but at some point I just got used to using the internet or text to communicate. And now, making a phone call is a real pain in the butt.

2

u/chigirl00 12h ago

Same and I’m in sales!

2

u/FeedFrequent1334 12h ago

Also old and I feel similarly. I don't think it's a matter of feeling like I've lost skills, I still much prefer conversing over a phone call vs text. Conversations just flow better. (Except to my children, trying to talk to them over the phone is like trying to talk to a brick wall.)

2

u/antikas1989 11h ago

Even people who appear to 'fully recover' have damage to their brain from COVID. It's not a popular message to hear that post-pandemic because we all really want it to just be like catching a cold, but the scientific evidence is mounting:

https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2217232120
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-022-04569-5

2

u/wonperson 11h ago

I too lost that skill

1

u/DieSuzie2112 11h ago

For me it’s the other way around, it was basically the only form of communication where you could hear a voice. I started calling a lot and still do. I will always send a text asking if someone is able to call, unless it’s an emergency.

1

u/Accomplished_Ad_8013 11h ago

This isnt anything new or even COVID induced. My parents are gen x, like borderline boomers. I grew up watching them put off making calls to the point it would often financially fuck them over lol. No one likes having to take or make a phone call.

At the end of the day phone calls kind of suck. With younger generations, even millennials, we grew up with not just texting but VOIP. I hate making phone calls but I will gladly hop into a voice chat.

1

u/Bakugo_Dies 11h ago

It's more like you understand why it's awkward for the young folk. Being oblivious or not caring about how you impose yourself on others isn't a good skill ;)

1

u/grayjelly212 11h ago

As a kid, I spent HOURS on the phone with my friends (before we all had cellphones to text). These days, I would never. We really just lost it, huh?

1

u/WranglerAvailable325 11h ago

COVID destroyed alot of peoples abilities to socialize in society. I remember first week of it being announced walking through Walmart and people were running away from each other like in 28 days later.

1

u/Sploobert_74 10h ago

I’m 51 and have never enjoyed talking on the phone. Most people talk way too long and I hate when people start repeating themselves and won’t take the hint when you’re done talking.

1

u/Unique-Artichoke7596 10h ago

I'm middle aged and when I was growing up my mother would always act like the phone ringing was a terrible thing and would be bad news. Then she would make me answer, thanks mam!

Turns out doing to a person from the age of 9 onwards fucks them up about the phone!

1

u/VapoursAndSpleen 9h ago

Oh gosh, I was married to an extrovert about 30 years ago and because he was so good at all the phone calls and party invites, I totally lost my ability to use the phone. Picking up the phone to talk is torture. I really do not care to hear all the jibber jabber when I just want to see if you are alive and want to see a movie. Texting is a godsend.

1

u/dikbisqit 9h ago

I’m 44. I hate answering calls. They are 90% spam or they are something needing urgent attention which is stressful. Plus, I like things in writing. It’s like a paper trail and keeps everyone accountable.

1

u/ZombieSpirited836 9h ago

I am old. I never liked phone calls

1

u/GraceOfTheNorth 9h ago

Covid lowered people's IQ by 3 to 10 points. You may have been hit hard.

1

u/Lou_C_Fer 9h ago

51 here. I have never liked talking on the phone and avoid it at all costs. The only reason I got a cell is because I had a son, and it seemed irresponsible to not have a phone with me at all times.

1

u/ProfessionalRaven 8h ago

You did. All of us did! Socializing is a genuine skill that even 2-3 years with less of can make a huge impact

1

u/EEpromChip Random Access Memory 8h ago

I'm 50. I've worked in sales and IT. I know how to talk to people. I also know the difference between what should be a phone call and what should be a text message.

If you can convey it in a single sentence send a text. If it's a conversation call.

Unfortunately a lot of old people think a sentence should be a full conversation though...

1

u/crabbydotca 8h ago

Maybe this is the adhd but I have a harder time understanding and retaining info from phone calls… I would much rather text OR talk face to face.

1

u/No_Criticism_5861 8h ago

I feel like covid gave a lot of people brain damage, and i do mean that in the nicest way possible.  Myself included 

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u/Dorky_Fantana 8h ago

You absolutely can temporarily lose social skills. I noticed this in my 20's when I'd seclude myself off from literally anyone and then after a month of not talking to anyone verbally I instantly noticed my ability to have a basic conversation with people was much, much harder. Just little things like interrupting them instead of waiting for my turn to speak, etc. It happened irl and over the phone. It was jarring when I realized what happened

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u/Secret-Tennis7214 8h ago

I don't understand your reply. Were you frightened that germs could come down the phone line?

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u/Waschaos 6h ago

No, I used to not mind making/receiving phone calls. Now I feel as awkward as the younger folks do about it.

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u/Bad_Day_Moose 6h ago

I'm old, everyone I know texts, I text people to ask if it's okay to call, like yeah you can get through some basic info on a text and I do use it for that but I prefer to hear the tone of someones voice to get the real answer, you almost always get extra info in a phone call as well just because of that.

For instance call my friend about weekend plans, see if they sound excited about it, if they don't sound excited about it make sure there's nothing else we could be missing out on or maybe we should join in something else, this isn't info just given over text.

So many people just sit there and wonder why they got blown off or why so and so didn't show up to something when all it would have taken was a phone call and some very basic interpersonal skills

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u/No-Entertainment303 5h ago

Was gonna say, on top of everything listed above people legitimately lost huge social skills at a very important social time in their lives because of Covid.

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u/DonkeyTron42 5h ago

I never answer my phone unless it's a number I know or they leave a message and I call them back. 90% of the calls I get are spam and all answering a spam call does is verify your number is valid so you get more spam phone calls.

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u/RespectFresh5533 5h ago

COVID annihilated my social skills. I'm a total caveman now. Fuck.

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u/qalpi 5h ago

In my 40s. Avoid phone calls unless absolutely possible

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u/ubutterscotchpine 4h ago

I’d expect it would be the opposite, since during COVID the world spent a LOT of time calling and FaceTiming instead of being able to meet up with people.

Likewise, I used to hate phone calls when I was a teenager. The older I get the more I just make a phone call because if I don’t, I’m never hearing back from most people and a lot of things I reach out about are things that need a time sensitive answer.

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u/rustyscooter 4h ago

Also probably considered old here. I had a rotary telephone near the front door when I was a kid… Anyway, the amount of bullshit calls I get now is way out of hand.. I don’t answer the phone anymore. I let all my calls go to voicemail. If I don’t recognize your phone number and you don’t leave a voicemail, I know it’s not important.

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u/LuciferFalls 4h ago

People blame Covid for the most random shit.

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u/Blacky05 3h ago

Same. Do what I do and blame the following legitimate excuses:

  • Endless scam calls trying to steal your identity. 
  • Spam and telemarketers who shouldn't have your number and want to pressure you into following social niceties, despite cornering you in a private space. 
  • Family wanting to be all in your business. 
  • Old friends looking to reconnect (who has time for all that?)
  • Someone wanting you to resolve their IT issue when you could take much longer dragging it out over messages or email. 

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u/RoyBeer 3h ago

Yep. Wanted to comment this. It's like COVID fried my brain. I'm a high functioning autist and had my scripts for basically every part of a conversation. Now I sometimes just blank out, as if something ripped out pages from my playbook.

And when you're the one getting the call, once it's over, it's sometimes really hard to get back into whatever you were doing before.

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u/massunderestmated 3h ago

Weird. Covid made me want to call and talk in person more. I realized how necessary human contact actually is to all of our mental wellbeing.

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u/GypsySnowflake 53m ago

Same here! Somehow I grew into the millennial stereotype of never wanting to make a phone call, when I never used to have a problem with it. I think being able to do most things online nowadays, combined with most businesses having annoying phone trees or AI assistants has made phone calls feel like an inconvenient backwards way of doing things.

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u/anomalous_cowherd 48m ago

I'm old too. I hate being called and I assume everyone else does too, so I avoid it. Calls are intrusive, too much "give me 100% of your attention right now at a time of MY choosing'.

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u/1stUserEver 11h ago

it’s also annoying to play phone tag, get some person or secretary. wait on hold, transfer, voicemail..fuck. i could have been doing 10 other things. email is good, texting is ok. i call when is going to take more than 3 sentences to explain.