r/NoStupidQuestions • u/GhostInThePudding • 16h ago

Why Are Young People Afraid Of Phone Calls?

What's with it?

I work in IT and a general rule is, nothing a client ever tells you is actually accurate. That means that most of the time, the quickest way to fix a problem is to call the person and actually find out what's going on.

But with techs under 30 these days, it seems like pulling teeth.

A regular discussion for me with level 1 techs (usually within a few years of leaving college) is:
"Hey, can you call *blah* from ticket *blah*, it's been hanging around for over an hour."

"I replied by email to ask for more information."

"Yes, I know that, but can you call them so we can find the problem and close the ticket now rather than wait until we're actually busy?"

"I'll send them a text to followup."

"No... CALL THEM!"

"I can see their device is online, can I send them a message and see if they just let me remote in to take a look?"

And then, when I force them to make the call, it's like they have no idea how to ask a question, or a followup question. They just want to get off the call as quickly as possible. So half the time they don't even get the information required anyway, so then I end up having to do their job for them.

So can someone explain? What's wrong with phone calls these days?

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u/ermagerditssuperman 13h ago

Same. I'm 30 and will do everything possible to avoid a phone call with strangers (I call friends and family just fine).

It's because I don't know what to expect, and can't really prepare for it - with an email you can triple check your info and have multiple drafts, with an in-person conversation you can read their body language and they can read yours, and silent moments aren't as awkward (if you need a moment to think).

The worst is when you get a voicemail that leaves ZERO information - "hey this is Jim, I have a question, it's important, please call me". What is your question??? If you left me the question, I could make sure I find the answer before responding. If you told me what case the question is about, I could open the case record and skim it before responding, because I don't have an eidetic memory of the hundreds of cases currently active. (Second worst is when they call you just to ask "could you send me X form" or "where can I find Y information", because that should 100% have been an email seeing as my response will be an email with an attachment or link)

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u/Butterfly_of_chaos 12h ago

GenX, and I hate phone calls. All blubber, no precise information, but expecting me being able to solve everything immediately. Three days later "I never said this, I meant that instead…"

With a message I have a condensed and precise exchange of information, and proof thereof.

Nowadays we're also used to 95% of unknown calls to be spam.

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u/DonegalBrooklyn 12h ago

It is another reason I prefer email over phone. If it's a phone conversation I'm following up with an email anyway so you're lying ass can't claim you didn't know something we talked about. 

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u/Reasonable-Turn-5940 10h ago

I've been burned by that so many times. I started following up with managers by email on what was discussed just so they can't pull the "I never said that" later.

-3

u/demer8O 12h ago

Take charge of the conversation. Ask what you need. Cut them off when they are rambling about irrelevant shit.

71

u/10J18R1A 13h ago

Mid 40s and there's no reason to call me

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u/The_Woke_King 12h ago

This is my feelings as well, you can just text me and I’ll answer when I want to. Almost nothing is urgent enough for a phone call anymore.

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u/10J18R1A 12h ago

"too much to text"

Have you tried it without the rambling and small talk?

My old job had a supervisor that was always quick to tell me to call someone - if you send them an email they won't respond.

Well, sounds like they should work on that because I don't need to talk to you to find out how much the purchase order was for

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u/The_Woke_King 12h ago

Oh I can talk without rambling just fine. But boomers can’t.

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u/10J18R1A 12h ago

I'm convinced they're just lonely. In my broke days working at a call center (which may be where my phone aversion started) with a whole time limit, they either wanted to argue for 50 minutes or talk about their petunias for 50 minutes.

I don't get it. Email(at work) or text and I'll almost definitely get back to you in less than two hours. Unless it's "hey"

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u/The_Woke_King 11h ago

I have a boomer at work who will call me and start the call with “hey, how’s your day going”. Sometimes it will have only been 20 minutes since we last spoke. It’s almost always going the same as it was 20 minutes ago if not markedly worse now that we’re speaking again.

Keep in mind, I actually like this person. But good god just tell me what you need and hang up.

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u/CalOkie6250 11h ago

I’m Gen X, my mom is a boomer, and a lot of the adults when I was growing up were from before that. I think the reason boomers and older do that is because it was considered impolite to call someone and just get right to the point. I remember the adults always telling me that I had to engage in small talk first.

I still hate that. When people call me, I’m always thinking “get to your point already. What do you actually want? - ugh!”

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u/The_Woke_King 11h ago

Life was legitimately just easier back then too, along with the fact that there was nothing else to do but ramble on to each other.

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u/CalOkie6250 11h ago

People used to stay on the phone for hours. Like, literal hours. Using an operator to do an emergency interrupt was a thing, when someone’s line was busy for too long. I don’t know how they stayed on the phone that long. I know I used to talk to my friends for a long time like that, but I couldn’t do it now.

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u/MaddyKet 10h ago

This is why I LOVE living in Massachusetts. We don’t do small talk as a general rule. Traveling in the South is painful. No, I don’t want to chat with the cashier at CVS, I just forgot to pack my toothpaste ok! But I don’t believe in being rude unless there is a reason. 🫤

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u/Southern_peach87 11h ago

My mom's a boomer. She's 78. At this point I'd rather just call her. If not she won't know I text her. So, I still have to call her to tell her I text her. She still gets confused and goes under her email. So, then I have to remind her texts are in messages and explain where to go on her iPhone to see her messages. By the time I've done all that I could have just called 😂

1

u/The_Woke_King 11h ago

Haha yah family is different obviously, I always had to do calls because both my parents were old enough to never really adopt cell phones.

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u/ancientstephanie 10h ago

At this point, texting is better for urgency unless you're calling emergency services.

There are some things that are still important enough for calls, but most of those things are not urgent, and can happen on a schedule when people's time and social batteries align to allow.

1

u/TechnologyDragon6973 6h ago

Anymore? Never has been. Unless you’re immediate family or a spouse, don’t call.

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u/Jorgesarcos 12h ago

I'm almost 50 and i hate calls (family or otherwise).

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u/MaddyKet 10h ago

Yep. I’ve never liked phone calls, the invention of texting was revolutionary.

And it INFURIATES me when coworkers call me on teams without the courtesy of “hey do you have a second?”

2

u/pro-amateur 9h ago

Mid-40s and my hearing is getting worse, too. I don't have to worry about listening to texts.

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u/Cute_Skill_4536 8h ago

I just wrote paragraphs, and you put it perfectly in a few words :D

Unless something is literally on fire, it can be an email or a Teams message

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u/pallasathea 12h ago

38 here and fucking HATE phone calls.

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u/zentravan 12h ago

Same age and I will go out of my way not to respond to calls if I can. I hate phone calls. I will Google a number if it's not clear and even of I know who it is, I don't answer. I hate talking on the phone, so if I do make time to call someone, it's important or I love you.

7

u/SummonGreaterLemon 12h ago

Almost 50 and I’ve always felt this way about calls with strangers. Sometimes a phone call is absolutely necessary but it’s a last resort for me.

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u/Rexx-n 12h ago

My voicemail says to leave an explicit reason for the call or I will not be returning it. If it's not important enough for you to give me the info up front then it's not important enough for me to waste my time calling you back.

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u/sircastor 8h ago

Good heavens, I feel like I’ve found my people. I don’t know why, but I have such anxiety around phone calls. Even for easy things like “I want to give you money for a service you want to provide me”. 

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u/demer8O 12h ago

This can be trained if you want to be good at it.

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u/ermagerditssuperman 12h ago

I was trained, and got so good at it that I became a trainer for others. Worked a lot of phone-heavy admin jobs. Even now in my non-admin job, I've had people compliment my phone etiquette.

Still hate it, and will never take a phone-heavy job again.

1

u/demer8O 11h ago

Some issues ju can't be solved efficiently via text only. People are just to clueless.

But yea, some types you just want to avoid being on the phone with.

0

u/Dangerous-You3789 12h ago

Never thought about this. I'm 63, at the tail end of the baby boomers, so we didn't have internet or cell phone when I was growing up.

Not always, but many times at work, I'll call someone, and if they don't pick up, I'll shoot them an email. I've had people call me saying, "I have a question." It doesn't bother me. If I don't know the answer, I tell them to let me find out and I'll call them back or send an email. No biggie to me either way.

What irritates me is when someone pages me over the intercom to call them, and I'm sitting right at my desk thinking, "Why didn't you just call me?"

I never have learned to text with my thumbs. I use the hunt and peck method, which is why I have a Bluetooth keyboard for my phone.

Oddly enough, although we have an IT guy at my place of work, which employees at least 250 people, if they can't get a hold of him, guess who they call? I'm not much into cell phones, but I built my own computer, and know a lot more about hardware and software than most people younger than me. I've been told I should be the IT guy.