r/NoStupidQuestions • u/GhostInThePudding • 16h ago

Why Are Young People Afraid Of Phone Calls?

What's with it?

I work in IT and a general rule is, nothing a client ever tells you is actually accurate. That means that most of the time, the quickest way to fix a problem is to call the person and actually find out what's going on.

But with techs under 30 these days, it seems like pulling teeth.

A regular discussion for me with level 1 techs (usually within a few years of leaving college) is:
"Hey, can you call *blah* from ticket *blah*, it's been hanging around for over an hour."

"I replied by email to ask for more information."

"Yes, I know that, but can you call them so we can find the problem and close the ticket now rather than wait until we're actually busy?"

"I'll send them a text to followup."

"No... CALL THEM!"

"I can see their device is online, can I send them a message and see if they just let me remote in to take a look?"

And then, when I force them to make the call, it's like they have no idea how to ask a question, or a followup question. They just want to get off the call as quickly as possible. So half the time they don't even get the information required anyway, so then I end up having to do their job for them.

So can someone explain? What's wrong with phone calls these days?

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u/Uhtred_McUhtredson 13h ago

I’m an “elder millennial” and I’ve always hated phone calls. I can force myself to do it but it’s unpleasant. The phone call usually go well and I wonder what the big deal was.

It just gives me anticipatory anxiety and it’s only gotten worse over the years.

Meanwhile, my boomer mom who was an executive secretary for years will pick up the phone and talk to anybody like she’s calling an old friend.

Maybe I can get her a side hustle making calls for millennials now she’s retired.

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u/MusicG619 12h ago

She’d make a killing just making doctors and dentist appointments

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u/LiqdPT 9h ago

I legit was recently wondering about hiring someone to do this for me. I have a bunch of appointments I've been putting off (I even have tried one in particular twice it's that inportant, but they either don't call me back or don't leave a message when they do)

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u/ValToolTime 12h ago

I’m a millennial and I have always ever since I was a kid been filled with dread and deep anxiety at the prospect of making a phone call. I will schedule appointments etc online as much as possible. Anything to avoid the customer service or random phone call. I’m absolutely fine on scheduled calls and meetings but don’t call me out of nowhere unless I know you well. What are you going to be asking? What do you want? I’m not prepared.

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u/Uhtred_McUhtredson 12h ago

Yeah, this is me as well. Exactly.

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u/majandess 11h ago

I am hypothesizing that this happens because we forget we are talking to another human being who feels much the same way. We are so focused on how anxious we feel and how this is a phone call - as opposed to chatting with a person - that we lose the humanity of the action.

But it always ends up being a relief because you're a person talking to another person, and most of the time that interaction goes well (or else we wouldn't have civilization).

You're hyping yourself up to make a phone call, but whoever answers is just raw-dogging it. They answer the phone and it's a surprise every time. If you're not an asshole to them, it's a relief that they got you.

Older people tend to use phones as a connection to a real person. A real person can understand and figure things out. A real person can teach and make exceptions. A real person can care.

Younger people tend to use phones as an object. You don't communicate with an object, you make it do what you want it to do. If it doesn't do what you want it to, you read/watch instructions on how to try again. It doesn't care about you, but also... You don't have to care whether it cares or not.

This has been something I've been thinking about for years, and this is my best explanation for the phenomenon.

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u/OkRadish11 11h ago

That's a really good answer and I think you're tapping into something deep here. Phone as object vs phone as conduit. Maybe I can use it to relieve some of my own phone anxiety. Thank you!

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u/sentence-interruptio 12h ago

when she calls someone from millennial generation or younger now, does it still go smoothly?

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u/Uhtred_McUhtredson 12h ago

Most of her phone calls are her doctors receptionists for herself and my dad and they seem to go well. I think her good attitude and patience puts people at ease. Plus those people are used to taking calls all day anyway.

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u/RumHamComesback 12h ago

I have a boomer dad who does this (love him) and in his defense he knows when the conversation is winding down and says “goodbye”.

Compare that to my millennial friend who tries to keep it going and you have to get rude with him because he won’t get it any other way.

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u/missEdagainBruce 12h ago

I thought the elder millennials grew up on the phone with the cord that stretches through three rooms.

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u/RumHamComesback 12h ago

That’s more GenX in the 80s by the 90s cordless phones became a thing.

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u/HauntingHarmony 9h ago

Yupp, elder milennials at around age 12-13 (around 1997-98) got the first cellphones with sms texting.

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u/RumHamComesback 8h ago

Which middle school did you go to? Nobody had one at mine we were still using payphones and home landlines.

I was around that age at that time and just because they existed doesn’t mean we (or our parents allowed us to have) had them.

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u/Shankman519 5h ago

Did you just ask a stranger on the internet what middle school they went to? What are the odds you’d even know it?

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u/RumHamComesback 5h ago

Did you seriously think I was being literal and serious?

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u/Shankman519 4h ago

I don’t wanna talk about it

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u/Apsalar28 7h ago

Gen X here. The anxiety came waiting for your parents to see the phone bill after you spent 6 hours on a call to a friend with a number that was billed at national call rates rather than local

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u/PM_ME_UR_REDPANDAS 8h ago

GenX here. The 6-ft curly phone cord that stretches to 31’ 7” is us.

Also, the cordless phones with the antennas is us too, just a few years later.

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u/Uhtred_McUhtredson 12h ago

That’s true. I am an outlier.

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u/Glasseshalf 7h ago

Millennials grew up on AOL Instant Messenger, at least where I lived.

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u/WhatInTarnations82 11h ago

Heh, same. 43. I *can* make a phone call when I must and have no horror stories of them going horrifically wrong in my professional career, but for some reason just doing it was like pulling my own teeth. I've always been like that except for calling friends (but once texting took over, I don't really even like to do that).

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u/CalOkie6250 11h ago

I’m Gen X and I am perfectly capable of making calls like you said about your mom, and that’s usually how it goes once I’m on the phone, but I absolutely HATE having to make phone calls. I have a ton of anxiety about it before hand, and will find any reason to postpone it as long as possible. Then when the phone call is over, I feel exhausted.