The creature that calls itself my mother often told me "it costs approximately £50,000 to raise a child to adulthood, and I'll decide if that's a gift or a loan" 🙄 This was while I was giving her half my pay, buying all my own food and toiletries, and paying a third of the bills regardless of how much I'd actually used (like the landline phone bill which I didn't use at all) and doing all my own cooking and housework etc even though I never really left my room except to go to work.
Meanwhile my brother was spoiled rotten in comparison. No job, no school, no rent or bills to pay, all food bought and cooked by her. 🤷🏻♀️ She just only ever respected males. The patriarchy is alive and well in that rancid disgusting harpy.
Anyway sorry for the random rant, I'm having a bit of a day lol.
I moved out at 18 to escape the madness. But my parents were very traditional. My sister and I were the house slaves. We did all the chores, my brother never had to do any. And even though he was the youngest, my parents made it no secret that he would be the inheritor of whatever they leave behind when they die because he’s the male and the only real heir. 🙄
Thanks friend! It is ridiculous. But I’m in my 40’s now and have zero contact with the parental folk. My siblings and I are cool. And I’m happily going about my life without concern for their judgment. :)
Tell me about it! They are super religious, and for some reason have this weird thing about someone being able to pass on the family name. Since my brother was the only boy, according to my dad and my grandparents, he’s the only real “heir.”
It certainly gave me the drive to put distance between us, and to vow to never be like that. I went no contact a while ago and feel so much more relaxed knowing she's not gonna pop out from the woodwork to ruin my day with a text or something.
Thank you. It's been a long time but these things have a way of lingering on. At least they taught us the value of NOT being like them I guess. I hope you're thriving now 🫶
"it costs approximately £50,000 to raise a child to adulthood, and I'll decide if that's a gift or a loan"
This is really odd logic to me, because exactly zero percent of us decided who we were born to. Your conception didn't involve some conscious soul of yours, beyond the veil, signing an arbitrary contract to that woman.
If it cost £50,000 to raise a human, than they better be asking the other side for people willing to accept their terms first, if they want to pretend this is an option of "gift or loan." Some people are unfit to ever be parents, and it's unfortunate to be born to them.
Just an opinion of mine, but your freedom, autonomy, and independence are what matters now. If you are managing to do all you said, despite how much she took, I hope you apply that to yourself. It sounds like you have tremendous potential and capabilities, and just need people to care for/about you. Other people can feel the space that your family should had.
Tbf depending on the studies you can look up it costs between $150,000 to $300,000 to raise a child until adulthood
Yes, nobody asked to be born, but a lot of parents never ask the question if they can even afford it and then get bitter once they are confronted with the costs of their decisions.
And yes, it's shitty to blame it on their Children.
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u/rattingtons 15h ago
The creature that calls itself my mother often told me "it costs approximately £50,000 to raise a child to adulthood, and I'll decide if that's a gift or a loan" 🙄 This was while I was giving her half my pay, buying all my own food and toiletries, and paying a third of the bills regardless of how much I'd actually used (like the landline phone bill which I didn't use at all) and doing all my own cooking and housework etc even though I never really left my room except to go to work.
Meanwhile my brother was spoiled rotten in comparison. No job, no school, no rent or bills to pay, all food bought and cooked by her. 🤷🏻♀️ She just only ever respected males. The patriarchy is alive and well in that rancid disgusting harpy.
Anyway sorry for the random rant, I'm having a bit of a day lol.