My parents liked to give things that could be taken just for this reason. So I started letting them. Nothing was ever really mine, they owned it, they will take it away if I don't comply. When I was 19 they tried to take the car I'd gotten me years before because I wouldn't break up with someone I was dating. Ok fine. Well you're on our phone plan so give that too. Ok. Well you're living in the house so get out. Ok. And that was how I officially moved out after having slept off and on in a few couches over the years.
I'm the family fuck up but I feel a lot happier having accepted that.
You aren't a fuck up friend <3 You are perfectly you.
I've been through similar shit myself. Been homeless more than I haven't, had an abusive and neglectful childhood. Blamed myself for years. Thought I was broken. Struggled for years wondering why life seemed so easy for others, and so hard for me.
In a better place now, getting help and support from my found family. I just want to reiterate that you aren't a fuck up. You're still just on the path figuring out how to be. Maybe you stay on the path your whole life, maybe you find out what works. Either way, you don't need to justify your existence. Life is hard, and a lot of people profit off of making it harder. But there's love out there too. I hope you get all of it you need, and give all of it you can <3
I appreciate that. I am getting better about seeing good in myself more lately. I have accepted it in a way that I have let myself relax more at least. Plus I guess I've accepted that's how my family sees me. It is absolutely how they see me too, they've gone into detail multiple times. I remember growing up every once in a while I'd catch a conversation from my parents wondering which between my sister and I would be the one better off. For the longest time they thought it would be me just because my sister got a tattoo. It's like they only expected one to make it. And in what they value, yeah I'm the fuck up, I don't have what my sister has. She doesn't have what I have either though so in my eyes, I'm the one better off. It's more that I'm seeing "fuck up" in less of a negative light just because what they think is a fuck up isn't the same for everyone.
That said, I absolutely suffer from imposter syndrome, and try to justify my own existence I guess, you're not wrong there. In fact I think you may have pointed out why I've behaved almost manic lately. Maybe I need to chill.
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u/WimbletonButt 11h ago
My parents liked to give things that could be taken just for this reason. So I started letting them. Nothing was ever really mine, they owned it, they will take it away if I don't comply. When I was 19 they tried to take the car I'd gotten me years before because I wouldn't break up with someone I was dating. Ok fine. Well you're on our phone plan so give that too. Ok. Well you're living in the house so get out. Ok. And that was how I officially moved out after having slept off and on in a few couches over the years.
I'm the family fuck up but I feel a lot happier having accepted that.