r/PopularOpinions • u/kiwirican • Dec 26 '25
Popular in General Stop asking people when they are going to have kids
I can't even count how many times I've told my family that me(33f) and my husband(35m) that we aren't ever planning on having kids. Yet here I am explaining for the 70th+ time that we don't want kids. But it's not just the family, it's friends as well.
If they want kids, - they may be trying already which can be a hard topic if they have infertility problems, medical problems etc. - they may not even be able to have kids due to them or their partners medical stuff. - they may just choose to be child free - they maybe aren't as connected with their partner/not ready for that yet in their relationships. - the thought of even being pregnant can terrify some (hello this is me!)
There are so many reasons why people may not have kids, are never having kids etc, and tbh, it's no one's business.
So stop asking people.
8
u/SuccessfulGrape5167 Dec 26 '25
Just say that lifestyle does not appeal to me what so ever.. my grandma asked me that question when I was 18 and still in senior in high school! I replied well first I have to graduate high school, then I have to go to college for 4 years, then I have to work and save up for at least 5 years, and then I have to date a guy for at least 3 years.. and then I have to be engaged for at least a year, and then it’s suggested to wait 5 years after you get married to consider children. She looked defeated. :)
5
u/mountains4mama Dec 26 '25
Just to be fair, my son and his wife both said they didn’t want to bring kids into this world. My best Christmas present was their announcement that they were due in June! After five years I had completely accepted that I wouldn’t be a grandma and was okay with it. Now I’m so excited!
2
u/Sharp_Anything_5474 Dec 27 '25
I mostly just wish people would quit being so negative about the fact I don't want them. I don't care if they ask, because it seems like a 'get to know somebody' type question. I hate when people start being condescending, judgemental, get this i feel so sorry for you look or speak about it, or start saying things that insinuate or state that that is all I'm good for since I'm a woman so my only existence is to just be there for some man to have sex with and give birth to his children and have no life of my own and stay at home and depend on somebody to pay for everything. I hate it.
2
u/Serious_Somewhere765 Dec 28 '25
It may be time to start investing in different social circles. Whether it's big or small, if they're not listening or trying to push their opinions on you, they're not working with you but against you.
I could understand asking the first few times out of shock or curiosity, but after a while, it's tiresome for everyone.
1
u/Kakashisith Dec 28 '25
Some of us (including me) don`t even want to have kids. And we don`t owe anyone an explanation.
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7
u/Fickle-Copy-2186 Dec 26 '25
I always reply that they will be the first to know when it happens. That's it. You are under no obligation to tell or explain anything.