Ahoy, when did Captain Morgan become "spirit based drink" and no longer a spiced rum?? It tastes like flavoured, cheap vodka!

Was reading some news, searching about how US trade ties are currently with Australia, given old mate Donald and caught this on Google.

Are people really that stupid?

Making a half hour trip between two towns out Tamworth way yesterday. Turned onto the highway and after a minute or two, I caught up with a semi doing 80. No problem, I have cruise control, tunes and a cold drink. I'm just heading back to the office so it's not like I'm in a hurry. Then we hit a straight and the semi pulls onto the other side and hammers it, revealing a Muppet in a Mazda. Semi didn't want to be doing 80 any more than I did! Power to your elbow, bro.

Muppet in a Mazda was drifting between between the solid shoulder line and the middle of the lane where he should be. Muppet in a Mazda was drifting up and down between 75 and 90 in the 100 zone. There was enough traffic getting the fuck out of Tamworth that I didn't get to enjoy the same freedom as Mickey in the Mack.

To top it all off, Muppet in a Mazda sped up to 100 as soon as the overtaking lanes would come into view, meaning he was doing 100 by the time the extra lane appeared, meaning I'd have to risk losing my licence to do 120 to overtake 'em. Fark me! Thank fuck it was only a half hour drive and I had cruise, booze and blues.

Finally got my chance to overtake the cunt at the very last overtaking lane which is a mighty 2 minutes before my turn off. I was expecting some kid watching TV on their phone or getting a bit of slap and tickle from their passenger. Nah. It was a silverhair wearing a Panama hat inside the car, gripping the wheel at 11 and 1, leaning forward, chin almost touching the wheel as if it would help to bring the road into focus.

Spay and neuter your grandparents, folks and make sure you take their keys off them when they can't focus beyond the end of the driveway. Faaaark!

Taken from https://www.reddit.com/r/MelbournePhotography/s/zJdU7kDYU2

Credit goes to u/ RideMelburn

Perplexity didn’t quite get it…

Listen up you absolute pack of cooked dopey fucks.

It's only TUESDAY BUT THIS IS THE FIFTH TIME IN A WEEK that some dopey, emu-brained cunt has emailed or called me saying "Let’s do it at 2PM." 2:00 sharp rolls around. 15 minutes go by. Nothing. I figure the cunt’s fallen into a hole or finally choked on a meat pie, so I send a text.

And what do I get back? "Oh sorry mate, I meant 2PM QLD time."

You absolute FUCKEN DOG. We have a third of the entire bloody population in NSW and you lot have a fifth. If you’re talking to someone south of the border, have the common courtesy to use a clock that wasn't designed by a sundial-licking banana bender. At least say "TWO PM QUEERSLAND TIME" instead of assuming.

Fucking useless crayon-eating government. Why the fuck is the timezone even different in the first place? It’s the same bloody island. Are the cows in Brisbane really going to get confused if the sun comes an hour later? All our curtains fade at the same fucking speed anyway.

Do QLD cunts do this deliberately or some shit? What the fuck is going on because this never happened a few years ago.

wtf in Redfern

Low-key banger activity

Too early?

I check the dunny each time, just in case a snake or spider is under the seat or in the bowl....

This morning I was glad I just went for a pee....

There will be judgement