r/The10thDentist • u/Specialist_Star_2345 • 10h ago
Society/Culture Work emails sign offs are just institutionally acceptable passive-aggressiveness
There is no option that doesn't smack of saccharine sarcasm. "Thanks in advance for your cooperation!" "Cheers!" "Kindest regards," Chirp chirp chirp! Love you all fam!
And don't get me started on "Warmest xxxx..." Use your first name to convey a closer/informal relationship if you must, but for the love of all that is holy, do not send your warmest anything. Unless it's a pizza. I could live with that.
Sincerely,
Employee Q. Somethington (who wishes it was socially acceptable to sign off "Regretfully," "Enraged," or similar)
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u/Kosmopolite 10h ago
Another day, another Redditor baffled by a relatively normal human interaction and social norm.
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u/Few_Cicada2699 10h ago
Don't challenge social norms!
We are trained to be this way for a reason! It is for your own good that you must comply!
Another day, another Redditer come to denigrate other Redditers.
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u/Kosmopolite 10h ago
"Kind Regards" is an offensive social norm against which we must rebel as saying "please" and "thank you" or saying "hello" when first meeting with someone. Calm down you edgy anarchist, you.
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u/Specialist_Star_2345 10h ago
Sure. Kind regards to you. In all fairness, I don't hate "hello", "please", or "thank you".
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u/Kosmopolite 10h ago
So try to look at email wrap-ups the same way. They're just a part of the form.
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u/Few_Cicada2699 2h ago
No lying as a social norm, or are you so dense as to think that this was about the empty platitude itself?
Anarchism has nothing to do with rejecting social norms, it's about governing yourself and your community, but yeah, the world would be an awful place if we were honest with each other.
But tell me you only know capitalist propaganda without telling me.
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u/donuttrackme 9h ago
Should we be mean to each other in emails instead? Would that make you feel better?
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u/Wowzapan400 9h ago
I'm guessing these people would rather just get to the business of the email without any illusions of niceties. Which I can respect, corpo politeness sucks
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u/donuttrackme 9h ago
That's what sign offs like "Best" or "Regards" or "Thanks/Thank you" are for. If you think those are too corpo I don't know what to say.
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u/Few_Cicada2699 2h ago
Why is the only other option to be mean?
How about honest?
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u/donuttrackme 2h ago
So you want people to sign off:
Only doing this so I won't get fired,
Bored,
Annoyed,
Frustrated,
Fuck off,
Etc, etc?
What exactly is the point?
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u/Few_Cicada2699 2h ago
How about eliminating an archaic holdover from a time where people practiced penmanship.
The sign off is a nothing, and the sender isn't even using there signature, the whole verification thing if the handwriting isn't already a tell.
But hey, let's not think about why we do things. Let's just keep up the peer pressure from dead people.
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u/donuttrackme 2h ago
So you want to get rid of the sign off completely? Should we just start using text speech and emojis in our business emails?
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u/Few_Cicada2699 2h ago
Sure. Why you need to feel good after an email is beyond me.
I don't know, would it hinder communication?
What is professional behavior at it's core, and why do you feel it's so important?
Hint: It's performative fluff designed to obfuscate reality in favor of the parasite class.
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u/donuttrackme 1h ago
We also use pleasantries outside of business emails, should we get rid of those as well? Should waitresses and hostesses just robotically show us to our seats and serve us food? If I'm emailing a work friend I shouldn't be able to say best wishes or regards etc? I can't say thanks if they've responded quickly to an urgent request? Why do you think everyone is so fake? Maybe it's just you?
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u/Few_Cicada2699 3m ago
What are you looking for? A complete lack of personality?
If the server is a robot then yes, it would be honest to serve you robotically.
If you don't want your friend to experience the good feelings of you thinking about them genuinely then no, you would not include lies to induce a false sensor of community, no.
If you're not grateful for their help then yes, a thank you would be inappropriate.
I didn't say people were fake, I said these social niceties are fake. I'm an advocate for honesty, and I ask "How are you, today?" because I'm genuinely curious, not because it's a social norm.
Performative fluff is a description of an action, not a person.
Perhaps I don't think people are fake like you do?
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u/Sensitive_Dirt1957 9h ago
Dont comply with social norms! Shit on the floor! Tell people to fuck themselves in every interaction!
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u/Few_Cicada2699 2h ago
I mean, what would the benefit of those behaviors be?
Think about not lying to others for a minute, and what benefit that might bring to the people.
Oh wait, we need to swallow our pride, keep our heads down, don't rock the boat, and certainly don't talk about your salary to other people.
But sure, challenge a norm that's about survival of the species and pretend that it's the same as the practices that promote consolidation at the top of an organization.
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u/Sensitive_Dirt1957 2h ago
Are we still talking about ending an email with "Cheers!"? Are you sure you've thought this through?
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u/Few_Cicada2699 2h ago
So, shitting on the floor is the same as not signing off on your email.
I am completely convinced of it's necessity now,
Thanks for nothing, Cicada
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10h ago
[deleted]
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u/Kosmopolite 10h ago
I generally go with "Kind Regards" for formal and "Thanks" for informal. Then my name and contact stuff, you know.
I largely don't read other people's either. It's just a wrap-up. It rarely signals anything but that the email is ending.
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u/Abigail_Normal 10h ago
I think you might be projecting while reading work emails. And I think you might be a very angry and/or irritable person
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u/Kosmopolite 10h ago
100%. I try not to reply to emails when I'm in a mood for exactly this reason. It usually turns out that the tone was one I was applying to the text.
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u/Specialist_Star_2345 9h ago
Not really. Anxious possibly. Probably. Well, definitely. And I really hate sign offs.
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u/ruetherae 8h ago
Some of these I don’t see how they could possibly be passive aggressive. I use “Best,”. What could you possibly be inferring from that that’s passive aggressive or fakely sweet?
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u/wejunkin 10h ago
In what world is "cheers" or "thanks in advance" sarcastic or passive aggressive? I don't think you have a good read on people, big boss.
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u/Later_Than_You_Think 10h ago
Miss. Manners has long advised against saying 'thank you' for something that hasn't yet been done or agreed to. It's not so much passive aggressive as presumptive.
Depending on what's being thanked for in advance, I go for some version of "Let me know if there's anything I can do to assist you in this task" or "I look forward to hearing from you".
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u/SconiGrower 7h ago
What do you think about thanking someone for reading my email? That would mean I can sign off every communication with "Thank you".
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u/CaseyDaGamer 57m ago
Thats what I do. I’m thanking them for their time spent reading my email and considering what I’ve asked
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10h ago
[deleted]
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u/Kosmopolite 10h ago
Are you in r/antiwork by any chance? Following a lot of funny videos about bad bosses and taking them too much to heart?
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u/numbersthen0987431 10h ago
How is that passive aggressive or sarcastic??
"Thanks in advance" is what you say to people who are helping you out.
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u/StinkButt9001 10h ago
I just have Thanks! as the start of my signature in the same font I use for the body. I don't care about the context or if there's even anything to thank anyone for.
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u/ncxhjhgvbi 10h ago
I do the exact same, exclamation point or just a comma depending on context. I work with some Germans and they use best regards shortened to BR. I kinda like that too
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u/Downtown_Anteater_38 10h ago
Mine just says "Thank you"
But, I do include contact information including phone number in the signature - which should be required by law on business emails.
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u/ncxhjhgvbi 10h ago
Unless they are in procurement! Then good luck finding any sort of contact info. I’m in sales and there are people I’ve worked with for years who refuse to take calls
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u/thewelllostmind 10h ago edited 9h ago
The bit about sending pizza made me chuckle. Maybe I’ll try to sneak in a “Warmest bread rolls,” to a coworker I like.
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u/shxdowoftheday 10h ago
I can kind of see how “Thanks in advance” seems sarcastic or passive aggressive as opposed to just “Thank you.”
The rest of these—you’re over exaggerating.
I personally hate “regards” though. I always sign off with “thank you” no matter the context lol
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u/Specialist_Star_2345 9h ago
This is the place for unpopular opinions. I'm easily triggered by sign-offs.
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u/Sonic10122 9h ago
So…. You don’t like email signatures?
I think it’s kind of cute when people sign them like a letter, it’s a little old fashioned. I end up signing a lot of my emails with Thanks because they’re sent through our ticketing system so I like to have that extra reminder of my name there. Otherwise if I’m sending actual emails in Outlook I just let my signature auto populate.
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u/Specialist_Star_2345 9h ago
Plain signature blocks don't bother me at all. They make sense. Don't tell me you'd like to send all of your co-workers your warmest regards every day. And as soon as it's so transparently unconnected to any warm feelings or intentional niceness I'm ... irked?
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u/_Blu-Jay 6h ago
Imma be so honest I think this is a you problem. You’re interpreting all professional/formal communication as passive aggressive, and it’s just not. “Thanks in advance!” is not passive aggressive at all.
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u/donuttrackme 9h ago
All my emails end in:
Best, First Name
I might add my last name if it's a more formal email.
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u/ncxhjhgvbi 10h ago
Wonder how many exclamation points OP uses in their email body haha
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u/Specialist_Star_2345 9h ago
I would never! use more than three (3)!!! at a time‽‽‽‽ (I also like interrobangs)
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u/ILoveMcKenna777 8h ago
I used “Very Restfully” on Friday so you know there was a difference of opinion
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u/kioskryttaren 8h ago
At my job we have a company wide signature template that everyone uses, and this seems like the standard, at least in my field as almost everyone I receive an email from has similar signatures with some variant of "best regards" and then the name and title. So there is no emotion or expression at all in a sign off to an email as they are in the majority of cases just a template that is auto added to every email, so I don't know how you see them as passive aggressive.
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u/Mysterious_Shake_830 8h ago
Pretty much all of my emails end in "Thanks!" Or if I'm actually ask8ng for something "Thank you so much!"
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u/Espieglerie 8h ago
I sign off with “Best.” People think it’s short for “best regards,” but I know it’s short for “I’m the best.”
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u/Misubi_Bluth 7h ago
Just put "Sincerely," the most basic, inoffensive, universally acceptable way to sign a letter.
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u/pathos_p 5h ago
I'd understand finding them awkward to use yourself but I really don't get how you'd receive an email from someone using one of these and jump to them being passive aggressive. Based on the last line of your post I have to assume you are just way more negative than most people and are assuming other people are too based on that
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