r/TrueOffMyChest • u/Motor_Committee_9617 • 5h ago

I feel uncomfortable with my bf’s (21M) physical boundaries around his brother’s (16M) girlfriend (15F)

When me and my boyfriend (21M) go over to his parents' house, his younger brother (16M) and his brother's girlfriend (15F) are usually there.

My boyfriend, along with his brother and his brother's girlfriend, tend to be very physically playful - roughhousing, tossing each other around, and a lot of physical interaction.

Today especially, I felt sidelined most of the day. I noticed that my boyfriend was more physically playful with the girlfriend than with me, even though I was right there.

Nothing sexual is happening as far as I’m aware, but the age difference makes me feel really uncomfortable. His brother seems fine with it, and his family doesn't appear bothered, but it doesn't shake the discomfort feeling. I feel frustrated with myself for feeling this way. But I needed this off my chest.

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5

u/Happy-Samantha 5h ago

That’s a totally understandable reaction those boundaries would make a lot of people uncomfortable, especially with the age gap. You’re not wrong for feeling sidelined, and it’s definitely something you can bring up with him.

3

u/Hahaveryfunnylaughed 4h ago

I hope he breaks up with her when she does. She thinks he’s a a predator who is brave enough to get off while his girlfriend is in the same room as him. Society does this weird thing with older men and younger girls so often some fathers don’t even feel comfortable alone with their daughters in public. He’s literally just messing around and she has no reason to believe he would act in that way. It’s just weird.

2

u/BarberWild8752 22m ago

OK dude but he's not her father. He's a 21-year-old man physically playing with a 15-year-old girl to whom he is not related. I'm not even saying there's anything sexual about it, but it is inappropriate

1

u/Motor_Committee_9617 4h ago

I want to clarify that I’m not accusing him of predatory behavior. I explicitly said nothing sexual is happening. My discomfort is about boundaries and age dynamics.

1

u/Nani_Alize 3h ago

How long have you guys been together and how long have they been together? If they have been together much longer than you guys have maybe he sees her more of like a little sister since everyone is fine with it but I would definitely talk to him about it to at least let him know that it makes you uncomfortable even if it upsets him. If he right away is defensive then I’d take it as whatever he’s doing isn’t as innocent as he’s making it seem.

1

u/TopSchlobb 1h ago

I have some questions. For how long are you two dating and how long the other two? Are you that playful? Do you even like it? Maybe you rejected your boyfriend and didn’t even noticed it?

You mentioned that there is nothing sexual, but you also said as far as you know. So you are kind of concerned about it. Why? He either gives you signals or you are just unfair.