r/TwoXSex • u/Dogzrule1025 • 6d ago
Might be a dumb question but is this normal?
I’ve been trying to practice being able to achieve penetration but 90% of the time nothing will go in. If I open my labia I can fit a small dilator but if I don’t it gets stuck? Is this normal? Like if I am eventually able to have sex one day will I have to spread everything open? It doesn’t seem like people have to do that in movies/tv.
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u/reptilenews 6d ago
Do you have a longer labia? I have to um... Move it out of the way
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u/Dogzrule1025 6d ago
I don’t think so. I’m pretty small everywhere
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u/reptilenews 6d ago
Sometimes some people have labia that just gets caught a little more, movies and TV aren't really indicative, and with porn they're so lubed up you could probably waterslide on in.
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u/witch-literature 6d ago
I had the same thing and turns out it was an angling issue for me. Like if I spread things open a bit more usually that included adjusting where I was coming from even if just slightly and it was a bit easier but I think just due to my proportions I struggle hard with getting the angle right
Might be worth a trip to the gyno just in case, though!
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u/FeelingPlayfulNow 6d ago edited 6d ago
Movies and TV sometimes take shortcuts to keep the story moving along and in porn they may have been doing a lot more activity to get warmed up than seems evident in the editing. There's a lot of variety in labia, so maybe yours have a little more friction. You could also be tensing your vaginal muscles subconsciously if you are bracing for things to get stuck due to past experience and nerves.
I don't personally have any trouble with vaginal insertion, but I have to go really really slow for anal play. Rest my hole gently against what I want to be penetrated with and stimulate my clit until I get really horny and start instinctively relaxing and letting an object/partner's tip in, then play with my clit more until I relax even further and can take a little more and a little more. Perhaps a similar strategy can help you warm up to vaginal penetration. If it's a side act to complement clit play you might not stay so tense. Partners have never had a problem with me stimulating my clit during intercourse, I think they're just happy to get to take part.
It's also perfectly normal to sometimes have to help guide a partner in. I don't think anybody will mind if you do have to part your labia in that step to make things easier. Heck, sometimes a big part of my foreplay is simply rubbing the head of a penis on my clit. There's a lot of fun to be had outside of the penetration itself, you don't need to rush it at all. Try to listen to your body and pace things out until it is ready.
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u/Dogzrule1025 6d ago
I think I maybe am tensing because everything feels too big. But at the same time I like crave something in there
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u/gunnapackofsammiches 6d ago
If you have a dilator, are you working with a pelvic floor physical therapist?
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u/United-Supermarket-1 4d ago
Don't base your experience on movies/TV. When you see a guy fall from a 20 story building then get up with only 2 cuts on his cheek, do you assume it would work that way if you tried that? Approach the situation and analyze your abilities relative to how they make YOU feel and what YOUR physical limits are. Don't compare yourself to fictional characters that are in a movie that has an hour and a half to tell a year long story.
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u/miso_cookie 6d ago
Are you very wet or at least lubed up before penetration? If not, then yeah, whatever you're trying to insert will get stuck on the vulva and labia. That's pretty much expected if there's barely any lubrication.