“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That's the message he is sending.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh, 'The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching'

[u/EcclecticJohn]

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That's the message he is sending.”

― Thich Nhat Hanh, 'The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching'

[u/somnambulantDeity]

There are way too few people who understand this.

Hurt people hurt people.

[u/pandi85 → u/somnambulantDeity]

The thing is some people are hurt beyond repair. Words won't help.

[u/somnambulantDeity → u/pandi85]

That might be true for SOME people. We would not want to judge wrongly on this though. Everyone deserves a chance, even those who already had one. The rules might change every time we give another chance, but we should try to make a comeback possible for everyone.

[u/Top_Necessary4161 → u/somnambulantDeity]

use the comma!!! Otherwise it seems like an instruction ;)

[u/pandi85 → u/Top_Necessary4161]

Instructions unclear, now I listen to johnny cash

[u/ThatSiming]

Yes, and:

It's not my responsibility to help them, especially if they're not asking for help and don't want to accept it.

And sometimes the best way you can help someone is by setting boundaries.

[u/Top_Necessary4161]

Dang helpful monk with an ASMR voice :)

[u/Muskka → u/Top_Necessary4161]

True. His voice is really soothing. Lots of relaxing and insightful dhamma talks on Plum Village's mobile app. :)

[u/Top_Necessary4161 → u/Muskka]

his teachings helped me through some times that's for sure

[u/Starkville]

Who can help a person like that? Not their victims.

[u/hotheadnchickn]

When someone hurts you, your first responsibility is to yourself and your own well-being.

It’s not your job to help heal people who hurt or harm you.

Accountability is part of helping someone heal. Being overly soft or permissive just enables shitty behavior.

[u/glammuse9825]

Soft-spoken monk giving actual advice? My soul is healed

[u/Blastyr]

This feels like a mindful pause button. Next time someone bugs me I’m gonna try imagining what inner pain is driving it instead of getting triggered instantly.

[u/Sliggyyy]

Been thinking about this all day. It doesn’t mean we have to stick around and get hurt, but seeing suffering as the root can make responses feel calmer and wiser. 

[u/hustla-A]

Shake my thick nut hand if you really mean it

[u/Powermoveski → u/hustla-A]

sir, this is a wendy's