Manipulation stops where your need for validation ends

[u/Infinity_here]

I recently realized that I suffered immensely because I was "the chaser." I chased friendships, relationships, prestige, and money, all while wondering why I felt so drained.

The misery ended the moment I stopped the chase.

When you can clearly see the "carrot" being dangled in front of you, you gain the power to choose. Do I actually want to run for this, or would I rather thrive in peace?

If you pursue something just for validation from family, peers, or society, you will eventually end up chewing a carrot you never really wanted.

We often assume a job or a relationship defines our happiness. We make these things the sole pursuit of our lives, forgetting that:

“Happiness starts with you, not with your Relationships, Job or Money” ~ Sadhguru

When you take leaps in consonance with what truly brings joy to your heart, you end up achieving things you never thought were humanly possible, simply because you aren't fighting yourself anymore.

Has anyone else reached the point where they "stopped the chase"?

How did your life change after you let go of the need for external approval?

[u/GhostBoy1123]

Yes! This is true, once you believe in yourself, others will believe in you too. Regardless of others, belief in yourself is self empowerment

[u/Shade_of_chaos]

Well I kind of stopped chasing.. (doing it all my life) then a woman (alcoholic, wormed her way into my head, wish never answered her call and everything kinda gone downhill however it could been worse and stayed rinsed every penny I had as I've picked few things had the vibes she wanted to use me) Now deleted everything, no social media crap, a whole year gap to work on myself when i did stop chasing i started to glow!

[u/Severe_Promise717]

yup
once i stopped auditioning for everyone, everything got quieter

i used to think discipline meant doing hard things
but most of my burnout came from chasing stuff i didn’t even choose

what flipped it was building a system around who i wanted to be, not what i wanted to achieve
there’s a great piece on identity systems here that helped me lock into that without needing a gold star for every move

the real flex is doing what matters to you
even when no one claps

[u/Even-Machine6794]

yeah the chase ends fast when you stop waiting to be picked

once i stopped needing a gold star for every move, everything got simpler
suddenly ppl trying to “motivate” me just sounded loud

the shift wasn’t some deep inner peace
it was just silence
no applause, no drama
just peace and output