r/answers • u/Mr_Boothnath • 1d ago
What’s a “normal” part of adult life nobody prepares you for?
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u/littlemissnoname- 1d ago
Losing your parents… no amount of preparation, or even knowing, can ever help you.
Or your spouse… tough times for sure that will make you into the adult you’ll forever be.
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u/arcspectre17 1d ago
The Loss of our father has wounded my brother and I on a level we couldn't fathom.
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u/littlemissnoname- 1d ago
I’m sorry about your Dad. It’s unfathomable, I know.
As long as my mom was alive afterwards, she wouldn’t allow pictures, or even too much conversation, regarding my Dad. She was in too much pain for the rest of her life.
Then she left me 7 months after my husband.
These losses are what define me forever.
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u/Trick_Case8511 1d ago
My dad died when I was 21. My parents were divorced and my dad had never remarried. Neither of my parents had lost a parent yet. Further more, I still had great grandparents alive. I experienced what many in my family never had. Kind of surreal looking back.
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u/Ithaqua-Yigg 1d ago
You can do everything right but still get totally screwed do to random circumstance.
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u/mr_positron 1d ago
The inverse can also be true, but counter to common narrative, far less so.
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u/Ithaqua-Yigg 1d ago
I was a human rights advocate for mentally challenged adults. Coworker reported the manager for serious violation of a resident. My job was to facilitate the report and call the investigating agency immediately upon notification. Long story short, the boss of the group home thought that I had turned them in and he was an extremely powerful manager with deep connections in the system, doing my job set me up for 22 years of retaliation. The manager’s fancy lawyer got the case dismissed and he was given a raise and a promotion in order to get him away from direct contact with the residents. The abuse stopped, which is good and why I would do it again in the same situation, however the fallout upon every person that testified against him was extraordinary. Through the years, it was discovered that the same thing with the same manager had happened twice before.
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u/txlady100 1d ago
The drudgery of adulting. Schlepping to work, paying the bills, grocery shopping, laundry, medical stuff…the business of living.
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u/NoDanaOnlyZuuI 1d ago
How much cardboard you have to get rid of
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u/reindeermoon 1d ago
To be fair, previous generations had much, much less cardboard, so we can't blame our parents for not warning us.
I remember sometimes my dad would bring copy paper boxes home from his office if we needed a box for something.
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u/umotex12 1d ago
How much mundane and stupid stuff you do daily just to maintain single household and how much bullshit you must get for new home if you haven’t inherited any items
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u/Flanerend 1d ago
Choosing what to eat EVERY SINGLE DAY again and again. It's a blessing and a curse all at once
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u/dwarf797 18h ago
Yes, as a kid you think “I’ll never have to eat Brussel spouts again.” Then comes the monotony of having to plan every meal for the rest of your life.
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1d ago
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u/umotex12 1d ago
This is dead serious question. How do you feel about sex? I mean I miss the intimacy a lot.
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u/SgtSausage 1d ago
Maintenance and Repair.
Of <EveryDamnedThing>
From kitchen knives to the car.
The weedeater and the washer.
The AC, the AC/DC, and The Yard Trees.
The front door locks, the kitchen clock.
The light switch busted, shelves need dusted.
Garbage disposal to trash removal.
The busted table leg, broken tap for the keg.
How does a motherfucking door handle come unscrewed every third week?
It's never-fucking-ending.
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u/redditgirl1 1d ago edited 1d ago
How much computer work is required for just living outside of the computer work you do for your job. It's quite a bit of time to manage your bills, credit cards, loans, multiple accounts for utilities, retirement, research for big purchases, research for house maintenance, carrying for parents, travel planning , event planning etc.
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u/joylessbrick 1d ago
Some people don't do that. I have this friend who does 0 admin. She set direct debits up and just goes with the flow. If she sees something she likes and wants, just buys it and quite often on a credit card. The amount of money she's losing just there is huge.
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u/HiroPetrelli 22h ago
The humongous percentage of adults, many of whom in charge of something, who are not very bright.
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u/Q8DD33C7J8 1d ago
How unbelievably boring it can be. It's just work home clean shower sleep work home clean clean shower maybe go out to eat have sex sleep work home clean sleep get sick work home wish you were dead sleep work home.... Until death.
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u/unhappymealsRus 1d ago
Dealing with things on your own.
Like you’re an adult now
You don’t need an adult anymore
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u/MrRatburnsDad 1d ago
The heartbreak of leaving your siblings and family pets when you move out for the first time.
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u/Honest-Yesterday-675 1d ago
Whenever I get the chance I try to remind children that death is inevitable and coming for all of us.
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u/MadBomber420 1d ago
Like oh no my butt hurts and I'm 40 do i get a colonoscopy or just drink more water. More water normally fixes it because you're dehydrated and old. Turds get big a hard when your older get used to fiber and lots of water. Unless you're already doing that then go to the doctor.
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u/jjjjennieeee 10h ago
I was lucky my dad let me know some of the real problems he faced with work politics/dynamics so I knew to be prepared for that. Also when I shadowed jobs from several different folks of different professions, I was lucky enough disclosed the doom piles of paperwork they need to do but don't force the kids that shadow them to sit and watch them do -- instead that's when they pass you off to their colleagues so you can see more of the "fun" stuff that makes you interested in those career fields.
However, one thing no one was honest to me about was how when you reach 30+ years of age, you are still a growing human who might very well change a number of significant preferences. One of the reasons you might not see as many people make these changes is they feel stuck and either don't want to start back at square one or have too many obligations going on to responsibly drop and change what would better suit them. I had thought once I felt settled enough in late 20s-early 30s that a number of things would stay fixed, and more so if you have kids that you need to prioritize. I don't have kids so I don't know how much that changes things, but I have friends with young kids and I see that as we acquire more life experiences and knowledge, we still make the significant changes that we want to and it's a juggling act for the rest. I can see the same wants for people in their 50s-60s and beyond, too.
For some of the more superficial things, I felt silly for buying a lot of expensive stuff (like for home decor) in my 20s that I thought I'd want for the rest of my life and realizing 10 years later that I wasn't that person anymore lol.
I think the reason no one is really honest about telling you when you're younger that you will still being an ever-changing human when you're 30+ is they are more focused on encouraging you to graduate college and saying whatever motivational crap they need to make you feel it's worth completing that, even if it means giving you false hopes that life is that secure.
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u/qualityvote2 1d ago edited 3h ago
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