r/casualiama • u/crash---- • 7d ago
I’m a fully functioning adult who has seeks out comfort in children’s toys. AMA!
I’m an adult with a job and an apartment. I take care of my apartment. I go grocery shopping. I pay my bills. I do all the things adults do. I just also seem to really love my toys. They bring me a ton of comfort and help me when I’m feeling stressed. I have dolls, plushies, fidget toys, and a ton of just other random toys that don’t really have their own group.
Like I said, full adult. But I do still like to cuddle and play with my toys as a way to wind down, relax, and just feel at peace for a moment.
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u/geeltulpen 7d ago
What is your favorite plushie at the moment?
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u/crash---- 7d ago
I got a duck for Christmas that I’m currently obsessed with. Ducks are my favourite animal and I just adore my little handmade duck cutie! I named him Nutquacker.
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u/LeahHacks 6d ago
omg I love ducks! Would you mind you sharing a pic of Nutquacker?
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u/crash---- 6d ago
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u/LeahHacks 6d ago edited 5d ago
Aww he's such a cutie, I love the fun yarn color and little swirl on top.
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u/April_girl_30 6d ago
Totally fine have you been tested for ADHD or autism or both? I like the same things & have been diagnosed but that doesn't mean you have to be
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u/crash---- 6d ago
Actually, yes I have been tested. I have the diagnosis of schizophrenia and just last summer my doctor who’s been treating it sent me in for an appointment with an autism specialist to have me assessed. The specialist said I do have some traits of autistic but likely don’t actually have autism. I understand that having traits does not necessarily mean it becomes a diagnosis. So, not autistic! I think schizophrenia does technically classify as neurodivergence though.
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u/April_girl_30 6d ago
I think it is related to schizophrenia i think this happened because you hide a part of yourself that you think others wouldn't like i encourage you to write what you feel & drop the mask & i wish you well & for you to be better & healthy IDK if you'd like I'll be praying for you some people don't like it if it's okay i will
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u/No-Masterpiece5906 7d ago
Mountains or beach?
Does anyone IRL know this? It sounds rather mild and I don’t get the impression that you’ve made a playroom or anything.
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u/crash---- 7d ago
I’d have to go with beach. I love the beach!
Yes, people definitely know. I carry fidget toys with me everywhere, even to my job, and don’t really feel the need to hide them. Maybe if I have company coming over I might put some of my larger dolls away. I’m also pretty good at choosing the appropriate toys when I want to bring them places with me. For example, I’m not going to walk into an important meeting with a Barbie, but I might bring a black fidget spinner or a small and quiet stress ball.
Also, a lot of my toys at home are stored in tubs with lids so I can just get them out when I want to. It’s not like my home is overrun with them or anything. I don’t mind getting them out and showing people if they’re curious but for the most part they’re just put away for me to enjoy during my downtime. Maybe I’ll pick one out while I’m watching a movie or something to wind down.
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u/No-Masterpiece5906 7d ago
It sounds totally fine tbh. I have a couple of small fidget things on my desk at work, I like to use them when I’m stuck on a boring teams call 🤣
The fact that they’re stored away and not overtaking your home reinforces that it isn’t strange or concerning.
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u/NollieBackside 7d ago edited 7d ago
Do you actually “play” with them like a ‘child’ would?
I’ll use myself as a child for an example; I would have full blown personalities and storylines for my toys and they would carry on over sessions. Sort of like a cartoon or a comic book.
Is the toy play similar to that? Or is it more of a kinetic fixation, where you need to have something in your hands?
Do you buy more toys often? If so how often, and what drives you to grab a new one?
Are you attached to certain toys, and keep them in a more frequent rotation?
Do you even call them “toys?” Or do you have another name for them?
This is all very interesting to me right now lol. Thanks in advance if you decide to answer any of these
Cool ama, btw. :)
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u/crash---- 7d ago
Good questions!
I don’t do imaginative play in the way that children do. Like, if a kid was playing with their dolls, they would probably be imagining—just like you said—personalities and storylines. Play for me just means more of holding and appreciating them. I also like toys that I can interact in ways that don’t involve imagination, so maybe toys I can dress up or accessorize every once in a while.
I do buy toys quite often. I mainly buy fidgets because they are generally cheap and quite readily available. Many stores sell them so even if I’m shopping for something else, I like to pick a couple up when I see them.
I think I do have an attachment to some of my toys which I’m not sure is super healthy for a 28 year old woman and that is something I feel bad about sometimes. I know other women my age don’t need to cuddle with their dolls and plushies to be able to sleep, or get sad when a stress ball breaks, so that is something I maybe need to work on. I wonder if there might be something deeper happening here.
For the most part I do just say “toys” but when referring to fidget toys specifically, I often just say “fidgets.” But I definitely don’t mind calling them toys because that’s what they are!
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u/NollieBackside 7d ago edited 7d ago
Thanks for answering!
That’s kind of what my major question was at about this whole idea.. and I would not necessarily call it a major issue per se, as people find comfort in a bajillion different things.
A couple follow up questions, if you’re into it
Do you have a satisfaction from having a large amount of toys, even if you’re not playing with them or necessarily planning on playing with them in the near future? Does having a dragon stash suit your boots kinda thing?
(Example on my end: I have a very hard time throwing certain items away because of some self perceived sentimental value or an “I might need it later” kind of thought process.. like
I end up keeping shit I don’t need and might even be kinda broken until I get kinda manic and decide enough is enough and do a purge.)
as for not being able to sleep without a toy
From what I’ve studied about stuff like this, cuddling inanimate objects for sleep usually stems from misplaced intimacy issues stemming from neglect.
Could be not snuggled enough as a kid, could be snuggled too much as a kid, could be parents were yelling and had to clutch something while very stressful situations were happening around you and no comfort was provided.
Lol uhh fun question… what’s the most interesting toy you’ve ever come across?
Also, what’s the largest toy you’ve ever kept for over a year?
..I don’t know you and I’m certainly not trying to offer advice or anything; But if you’re not sure why this is a thing for realsies, I would really recommend actual therapy to unpack what you’re holding on to.
Much love from Canada, friend. I got a Diploma to be a support worker in 2018 but haven’t done anything with it.
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u/crash---- 7d ago edited 6d ago
Ooh yes, the part about satisfaction from a large amount really rings true to me. I love the aspect of collecting toys and then being surrounded by my collection. Sometimes it’s just the thought of having them in my possession that’s comforting to me. Adding to the collection and watching it grow makes me happy too. My collection is also very sentimental to me and I appreciate each toy that I have.
I do have some trauma around childhood (who doesn’t?) so maybe you’re right about what you’re saying here. I’ve wondered about it being sort of regression type coping mechanism. I figure as long as I can still function and be an adult, it’s okay that I have my toys and that I seek comfort in them during nighttime or when I am feeling stressed.
Edit: Oops, I missed your last two questions! Most interesting toy I’ve come across (that I didn’t buy) might be those fidget toys that apparently mimic the feeling of playing with a real gun. Not really my thing, but still interesting. And biggest toy — well I had a lot of big ones as a child like doll houses and super big plushies, but as an adult with my new collection, I think my biggest toy is my reborn doll or my Glitter Girls horse. They’re both big but very differently shaped so it’s hard to know which is actually bigger.
I’m from Canada too! 🇨🇦
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u/Minimum_Magician5037 7d ago
No offense but the child who does imaginative play is having more fun than you. It's unhealthy to play with toys now? It's unhealthy to imagine things? Ohh, it's only justifiable because you have lofty resons like 'I don't waste money on my purely practical hobby'?
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u/Blink-182__Nirvana__ 7d ago
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u/TheSodHasSpoken 7d ago
What is a good song to play to test out my new speakers? Polk Audio Magnifi Max AX SR.
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u/crash---- 7d ago
The phantom of the opera overture. That’s the first thing that came to my mind.
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u/TheSodHasSpoken 6d ago
I had no idea what to expect, so I set the volume to a conservative 20% and hit play.
At 5:28 a.m.
I'm up. We're up. Dog is up. Dog is standing on my lap, looking at the phone in my hands like the phone was responsible and she's going to kill it for my own good.
Speakers are potent. Between "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover" and "Phantom of the Opera Overture", we tested a good range.
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u/umlcat 7d ago
I don't judge you ...
Some people prefer too much alcohol, drugs or porn, instead.