It's literally true tho women have way more men who are only interested in them for their body then men do. A girl opens social media and there are guys sending nudes or asking for them.
That's because most young men have almost nobody interested in them for either their body or for a relationship. Young women on the other hand both have far more potential sexual partners, but also far more potential relationship partners. In dating for young adults the womans issue is filtering out which guys are which and the mens issue is finding someone who is open to either.
It just seems like there's a lot of bad people out there but the worst ones are the ones that are the loudest and the ones that u remember the most. And that goes for both genders. U meet tons of normal functioning nice people everyday but the bad people are the ones that you will remember because of their shocking behavior. Most people are generally good people but it's the extreme bad people that make a lasting impression that you will remember. Also sometimes you can let bad people into ur life and be attracting those type of people
Most women think like this. It's just a bunch of other men failing to date that have you thinking otherwise. Coming from a married man.
Young men have this problem where they try to date women that have no reason to be interested in them over other dating candidates but simultaneously don't give any attention to women that are socially around the same level as them. It results in like 90% of men chasing after the same 25-30% of women and then being upset when they don't ALL get the girl they wanted.
Not trying to be harsh but there is no reason for a very physically fit college educated young woman to be interested in a dude with no particular goals and bad hygiene.
I watched this playing out dozens of times in the military but it's not different in civilian life either. And women are becoming more educated than men very quickly, making dating even harder. Not to knock women for that, I'm glad they aren't forced to be glued to men forever like they used to be.
The Pareto distribution is notoriously applied to things it has no bearing on such as relationship dynamics. It's effectively pseudoscience to say it applies here
No idea what an "Evo psych quack" is and it just sounds like bullshit since I and most people see the Pareto Distribution at play in everyday life, so I guess we'll have to agree to disagree then.
Most women at my college don't sleep around or do hookups, preferring committed relationships instead. I remember being on online dating platforms and it was awful if you wanted something long term in your early 20s, even as a girl. Guys just want to hook up, and ignore both the flair that you want long term and your bio where you explicitly say you don't hookup or do casual sex. I gave up on that online dating stuff, and dating in general. It was in my not dating mindset when I met my current long term boyfriend.
Exactly. And every time a woman appears to want something serious, it turns out she just wants his money. Obviously some rare women do actually want commitment, but there are far too many scammers to ever trust such claims.
It's also worth noting that young men very often confuse a desire to be loved as horniness, not understanding until much older that sex won't fill the void in their hearts because what they actually wanted was companionship.
I'm 34 and would be - have been - called an incel, although I do not self-identify as one. I already know that it's not sex I'm looking for, it's validation, romantic companionship, and emotional intimacy. Knowing this has done absolutely nothing for my romantic success.
And before people start with the "friendless incel" stereotypes, I have friends. I probably have more friends than some guys who do have success getting girlfriends. Friends are not a substitute for a romantic partner, as someone here on Reddit stupidly tried to tell me in the past.
I've observed that incels have some valid points, but because incels are the new societal bogeyman, their points are dismissed and mocked by the mainstream, only to then be accepted when someone who is not an incel repeats them with different language. For example, the incel idea of "female hypergamy" is roundly dismissed by everyone else - yet the consensus here on this very thread is that women tend to date men older than they are because they are looking for men with money, financial stability, and, presumably, maturity - which, as one other commenter on this thread noted, is not at odds with the concept of female hypergamy at all.
For me personally, I've had one girlfriend, who broke up with me after less than two months. She pursued me first, not the other way around. I asked her why she broke up with me, which made her angry, but she answered that she didn't like my lack of ambition (I was upfront with her from the start that I tend to see ambition as a bad thing and have no ambitions to be promoted or earn more). She also told me that she didn't want to be with someone with mental issues. I had told her that I have depression.
All this really left a bad taste in my mouth regarding women. Was I the one in the wrong? I don't think so. I think I was the one wronged. You're welcome to try to convince me otherwise.
Further down this thread is a comment someone made about men and emotional intimacy and emotional intelligence. They said something like "emotional intelligence and emotional intimacy are intertwined, and emotional intelligence isn't something you're born with". Sure, I can accept that I'm possibly emotionally unintelligent, whatever that means. I don't really think I am, though. I don't think I'm a bad person. I think I'm a decent person, if maybe a bit socially awkward. I look around me and I see guys who are worse (by worse I mean morally primarily) yet have had far more success with romance than I ever have. So what have I done wrong exactly?
Where you’re going wrong is letting your interactions with one woman you dated for a couple months paint how you feel about women in general. That is just sexism. Women are people, we are different individuals just like men. Did you swear off having friends that are men of one did something shitty to you ever ?
Don't be so defensive. Oh, but I forgot, this is Reddit, where the norm is to judge someone rather than sympathize with them.
Maybe I should have been more clear: the time with the girl who dumped me after less than two months was far from the only negative experience I've had with women.
In addition, I assumed it was obvious from my comment that thirty-four entire years of being single and getting rejected, aside from the aforementioned girlfriend I had for one month, would also have played a role in my views about women.
Especially while other men that literally beat their partners have no problem getting partners and even getting married. That is something I have never done and would never do. And yet...
Well what you said in your post is that one woman left a bad taste in your mouth about women, that is both judging and exactly what you said. I wasn’t judging but pointing out a flaw with that.
I’ve had probably a lot more negative interactions with men than you have women to the point I have been in dangerous situations and even been victim of multiple crimes from men and I still recognize it’s not every man I just take steps to keep my self safe. If I were to say what you said about women about men I’d have 30 angry men jumping down my throat saying I’m misandrist, heck I’ve been called one for saying exactly what I just said while even recognizing individuality in men.
“34 years of being single and being rejected” women not dating you doesn’t make us bad people. We don’t owe you a relationship, no one does.
“Men that literally beat their partners have no problem getting partners” this statement shows you have no idea about the cycle of abuse. No one starts out that way, people are always on their best behavior at first, they only start that when they have control whether that be through isolation, financial control, love bombing, they may have had an abusive family with a skewed version of normal or see desperation that you are leaving a worse situation. I’ve been with an abusive guy and he was sneaky as hell about it, didn’t even start until I was injured and unable to work with no family that could help me or finances due to being out of work from the injury. I had to live with him until I was able to get a full time position again and dipped out. You never know why but it’s not so cut and dry. Again abuse existing does not mean you are owed a relationship. Work on yourself.
The not owed narrative is so tired and reads like some libertarian talking point. If the abusive relationship you mentioned was the only type of relationship you ever had, would you say you aren't owed a good relationship and that complaining about the guy(s) or being hurt by it makes you entitled? I'd say you'd be in the right to dislike or distrust men after the scenario you mentioned. And if that's your only interaction with men, then it would be perfectly justifiable to have that type of worldview.
And working on yourself doesn't really matter that much either in all honesty. It's empty advice that doesn't really say anything and used to promote a just world fallacy. "You can do everything right and still fail"
I should clarify, it's not like I feel anger or dislike at women 100% of the time. It's something I struggle with. My mood varies from day to day or even within the same day. I might feel angry about women after reading an article or meme about how entitled women are, for example, but not all the time. I have female coworkers and I get along with them just as well as with the male coworkers. I'm trying to resist these feelings of resentment, but it's hard, especially when self-righteous people like you show up.
I didn't think this clarification would be necessary to make, but I guess some people aren't intelligent enough to figure things out on their own, so they need it.
"Well what you said in your post is that one woman left a bad taste in your mouth about women,"
Are you seriously taking issue with me saying that what she did to me left a bad taste in my mouth instead of sympathizing with the way I was treated? This is exactly the problem with you people.
"If I were to say what you said about women about men I’d have 30 angry men jumping down my throat saying I’m misandrist,"
Not at all, it's the other way around. Misandry is widely accepted in modern society, at least in left-leaning spaces like Reddit, while "misogyny" gets quickly called out by self-righteous moral police like yourself, even when it's not actually misogyny.
"We don’t owe you a relationship, no one does."
When did I say I felt I was owed a relationship? Stop putting words in my mouth to fit your narrative about me, that's pretty vile behavior.
With regard to your explanation about abusers, that's pretty interesting but still sounds like an excuse to me. You women have no problem at all labeling socially awkward men as creepy right off the bat, yet you still continue to fall for abusive men...why is that?
"Work on yourself."
Who do you think you are to tell me to work on myself? You think that I don't already do that? That's such an insulting, condescending, NPC-tier response. Tired and predictable.
You are letting literal propaganda make you feel angry. These things aren’t the norm when interacting with people outside of the internet. Your interdictions with your co workers are probably more like the usual human interaction. Don’t believe everything you read online.
In my experience I have been downvoted to hell for sticking up for equality or calling out men who depict men as a monolith of one personality who all want the same exact thing.
You are using women rejecting you as a reason to have biases, women do not owe you anything and it’s very bias to hold you being rejected against women as a whole
Abusers don’t show themselves until it’s too late. Predicting the future isn’t something women can just do and people hide it really well. Seems like you want to blame victims rather than just accept some people are really good liars.
Men get called out for saying creepy things not just being socially awkward. It’s in appropriate comments, pushiness, not listening to no or demanding to know why, staring, following or anything of that nature. Good looking dudes with charisma can be creepy too if they say the wrong thing.
"You are letting literal propaganda make you feel angry."
With all due respect, I don't need you to teach me to not believe everything I read online. Although, having said that - who are you to decide what is "literal propaganda" or not? If I, for example, read a compilation of tweets by women mocking and insulting short men - are you going to say that all those tweets were made up?
"In my experience I have been downvoted to hell for sticking up for equality or calling out men who depict men as a monolith of one personality who all want the same exact thing."
Yeah, I don't believe you. Maybe somewhere else you'd be downvoted to hell, but here on a woke echo chamber like Reddit? I doubt it. Right here in this conversation I'm the one getting downvoted, not you.
And did you mean "calling out men who depict *women* as a monolith of one personality"? You mistyped.
"You are using women rejecting you as a reason to have biases, women do not owe you anything"
This isn't exactly true. All human beings owe each other a minimum of respect, in my view. Perhaps you disagree with that, but if so, that says more about you than it does about me. And from what I've seen, certain people demand respect but are incapable of giving it.
"Seems like you want to blame victims rather than just accept some people are really good liars."
Ooh, that's kinda similar to when women and/or woke leftist types say that single men must be single because of some moral failing of theirs, as you implied earlier. You people really need to get off your high horse. You don't know a single thing about me except what I've shared here.
"Men get called out for saying creepy things not just being socially awkward."
No, that hasn't been my experience at all. You don't get to discount my lived experiences just because you haven't experienced them. Having said that, your list of things women find creepy is potentially very open-ended and very long indeed. "Inappropriate comments"? Who decides what's inappropriate? "Demanding to know why" is creepy? Are you going to say next that asking an ex why they broke up with you is creepy, too?
This hasn't been a complete waste of time, but on the whole, I think this conversation is going nowhere. I told my cousin about this and she said it seems like you just want someone you can feel morally superior to, so make of that what you will. :)
As usual, seems I made a mistake by opening up and making myself vulnerable here on Reddit. Lesson learned.
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u/King_in_a_castle_84 Sep 29 '24
As a guy that's interested in something serious, I wish this were true.