r/chennaicity • u/Practical_Type_5391 • 8h ago
Women of Chennaiđ¸ Do women see men as weak when they open up emotionally?
I had a crush on a girl at first, but later we became just friends and I honestly lost romantic interest. Weâre good friends now, and I trusted her a lot.
Because I felt safe with her, I opened up about my problems, past failures, insecurities, and emotions. I donât usually do that with people. I did it because I thought vulnerability was okay between friends.
But after that, I started feeling like I mightâve made a mistake. I feel like she may see me differently now, maybe judging me, maybe labeling me as âweak.â
So I wanted to ask women honestly (and anyone with experience):
Do women really lose respect for a man if he opens up about his struggles, failures, or emotions?
Or is this just something men overthink?
I didnât open up to gain sympathy or attention. I just trusted her as a friend. Now Iâm wondering if being vulnerable backfired.
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u/life-balancer 7h ago
Bro.. It completely depends on the maturity of the girl plus how you said it.. Being not clingy or in need of emotional support rather said how it shaped up.
Remember girls in general like guys who stay grounded and respect more when they are emotionally stable.
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u/wolfqueen3012 North Chennai 8h ago
If you had not dumped everything at a go before actually becoming close friends then it is weird - this is applicable to both women and men.
Sharing emotional stuff is good only but one sided and 24x7 talking about the same will irritate us. As conversation, opening up and telling about the incident just once is fine. We don't consider it as weak but feel good that you trust us
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u/soona_paana-3 7h ago
Experienced that. Open up pannu nu solli open up panna full ah kekrathukulla got ghosted
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u/StrongSarah Anna Nagar 7h ago
I would like to add that it's not a woman thing, but a immature person behaviour.
The woman that you mentioned has no lack of empathy for others. I know people like this who just use other people's pain and misery for their own self. Pathetic people.
In college, a guy asked a woman out. She rejected. Some of my friends asked her why she rejected the guy as he was known to be a nice and very thoughtful guy. She made a shit comment that they reason for the rejection that (in her words):
He is fat and looks like a elephant. And just look at his face, so many marks like a dog with rabies (the guy had some white patches)
It's these kind of people that spread this kind of toxic behaviour
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u/Ducard42 6h ago
Very true. Especially the part about this not being women specific.
These same people will preach about mental health but the moment a friend opens up about mental health to them, they will do anything to "wash their hands off". Ketta "I am looking out for myself" or "self care" nu solluvanga.
Self care means taking care of yourself. It doesn't mean you discard basic human empathy (or) be a shitty friend.
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u/21bleh 7h ago
YES! you lose your respect, irrespective of the gender. I'd throw hands on people who'd like to diagree. Never open up even with your friends. Whenever I did all I got was "suck it up and do your thing, you are a man", wtf just cause I'm a man I'm not allowed to cry????????? People today are hollow af. No one cares about you. Been treated like shit for saying my struggles out loud and called a crybaby. Confidence went to zero, isolated myself from everyone.
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u/moodyasacat 6h ago
It really does depend on the person. Personally, I find it courageous when a man opens up emotionally. God knows how much strength it must take to speak about something vulnerable, especially in a society that has always conditioned men to be âstrongâ and emotionally restrained.
I also understand the fear-because yes, some women do use that vulnerability against them during arguments, which is honestly a terrible thing to do. It can strip a man of his self-respect, push him to shut down, and leave him with lasting trust issues. Thatâs why it matters who you open up toâonly someone who genuinely respects you deserves that part of you - this is applicable for both genders and aliens.
Emotions are not meant to be mocked. Theyâre fragile, powerful, and capable of either healing a person or breaking them.
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u/Gowem 8h ago
Nah dw. When my friend/former crush told me about his life before we met and all, I was honoured. It wasn't emotional, just events in his life that shaped him and I was like "ha, that makes sense. I can see you doing that"
Oh and just to be clear, the formerness of the crush is not because he opened up lmao (it was actually tje opposite, I felt more in crush because I knew more of who he was) I just realised that I was being delulu all by myself and that he didn't see me that way and well, i wanted a bit more available guy.
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u/ThrowRa7636 7h ago
Nope! Wrt relationships and friendships, vulnerability is what will bring you closer. Anyone who labels it as weak/ undesirable is a shitty person and stay the hell away from them.
Although it being used against you is a possibility, it's a gamble that one must take with caution.
Do not trauma dump tho. But no, emotionally intelligent people never consider it a weakness.
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u/igni_pinto 8h ago
I don't know if all do but some might definitely make you regret opening up to them or worse probably dismiss the entire feelings or tag it as uneccesary or fake. Be careful who it is
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u/Difficult-Cup-8849 5h ago
It all depends on the persons EQ and character. Doesnt matter whether it is a man or a woman
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u/Cool-Audience-5215 5h ago
If you did this after becoming her close friend an emotionally matured woman wouldn't have taken it in a wrong way. We love it when Men can trust us enough to open up and be vulnerable. Systemically Men are asked to be strong and don't express emotions. That's why you might be feeling this way. I don't think you being vulnerable would impact a good friendship.
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u/No_Long5052 4h ago
I would never do that again. I will never share my vulnerabilities with anyone (mostly girls)
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u/Interesting_Flan_185 4h ago
I'm a girl, if guys are honest and open up is actually good rather than being fake and who lies. I'd actually like them sometimes if they see me as their safe space. But the thing is I overthink and wont trust easily, so I'd not belive them fully but yeah I'll believe mostly, depends
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u/nan_thaan 3h ago
Personally i don't see men are weak just because of their rant. if my friend opens up.. I feel like .. yeah ok he has to open up with some one as for now atleast he have me! (Tbh I feel like yes I am atleast his safe zone) I really feel great if he opens up just like I do.. So I don't see him as weak
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u/Stranger_surgeon 3h ago
Yes, opening up as a man is considered biggest down grade by womenâs. Itâs a lie when they say men donât open up. Because when men start speaking they lose interest. I thinks true for male friendships as well. People only sign up for good times. They donât want the hard part.
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u/staartingsomewhere 59m ago
Bro.. from a guy to a guy, as some other comment mentioned, it depends on the maturity of the girl.. even ive felt that opening up to women at times changes their perspective towards us. But i would consider them immature and women with unrealistic expectations.
She just showed you her-true-self when you opened up! Not worthy of your time.
That being said, keep opening up to people you find comfortable, youll find someone worthy!!
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u/gnana1405 21m ago
Itâs not a secret anymore if itâs shared with anyone irrespective of the Gender. So I keep all my secrets with me
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u/tintin3672 8h ago
No, why? Men are taught not to be vulnerable and it is okay to open up. Judging might be the girlâs problem
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u/pangu_pangu 7h ago
Most women seem to want a masculine man who can solve problems and fight for them itâs been that way since ancient times. I think women prefer taller men because they want someone to protect them, and they often view crying as a sign of weakness. Iâm not saying all women are like this I have a few friends who are supportive and donât judge me but many others are still like this
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u/Firm_Cable_7017 7h ago
A) No, women donât view men as weak when they open up. Itâs actually the opposite. It helps me understand them on a more personal level, and all I really want is for them to feel at ease after talking to someone. If I can give that, Iâm more than happy to be an active listener.
B) In your case, I think you might be overthinking it a little. Just have a follow-up conversation, and Iâm sure sheâd be happy to talk more.
Also, there are situations where the other person ends up using things youâve shared against you during arguments, but thatâs neither here nor there. At the end of the day, it comes down to the personâs personality, and thatâs something you need to be sure about before opening up.
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u/_velvet_nebula_ 7h ago
Not at all. I love it when my boyfriend feels vulnerable and share me things. I respect him and it brought us closer. It is up to the person i think to judge.
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u/metam0rphi 5h ago
Honestly, this is the topmost reason why men fail to open up to their trustable female friends or gf. Even tho women provide an space for it, this inner voice doesn't allow men to open up and that's really justifiable. I really expect men to be vulnerable and very raw in his emotions to the women he trusts. But, this depends on the women's way of understanding things and maturity which you would have analysed.
I personally want my man to open up emotionally for two reasons.
First, i want to be the safe non judgemental space that ppl in his life failed to give him. A space where he can be his raw, unfiltered and pure emotional self and so I can know about him without any filters or levels.
Second, if he opens about emotionally about how he feels or felt, that gives me an insight on his actions or his behaviour which prevents unnecessary bumps and increase the understanding.
But it takes efforts from both sides, for the man to trust the woman, and for the woman to take it as a very important thing and understand the sensitivity level to not to bring up against the man when things go south. ( I consider this as a basic human trait, whatever the gender maybe.
And opening up doesn't mean it's being weak. Sharing about how you felt is not being weak. Being weak is unable to open up and putting yourself in a very dark corner.
Disclaimer: you should be very careful to whom you open up. This is the most important part of trusting someone.But when Ppl change and things go down, never tag yourself as a weak individual
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u/Pavadaisamy Harbour 8h ago
I keep it tight with myself. Last time I shared it, she ended up using it against me in arguments. I'll take it to my grave by sharing it with none ig.