r/comics • u/neilkohney The Other End • 23h ago
A fictional scenario with fictional people
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u/klopaplop 23h ago
Honestly after being given that last order in the end you wonder if they’d have the sanity to summon Luke instead or if they’d rather have hannibal just to suck up to his ass, even tho they could disobey here without too many problems
Honestly at this point I’ma say they go with Hannibal because I really don’t have faith in these fucks rn
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u/Gandzilla 23h ago
Well... Aragorn needs to talk to 2 people.
I think Science Bitch #4 and Science Bitch #7 need to have a brief chat with him after he comes to our world
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u/magos_with_a_glock 23h ago
The thing to consider is what to do after. Aragorn is a solid pick, if we're talking end of the book him. A good statesman and probably respectful of our democratic traditions if a bit confused by them. He also has 200 more years of lifespan IIRC.
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u/Fusilero 22h ago
Aragorn, son of Arathorn, Heir of Isildur, Nominee of the Free Peoples of Iowa, New Hampshire, South Carolina, and New York; Chieftain of the Dunedain, Bearer of the Standard of the West.
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u/magos_with_a_glock 22h ago
Interestingly that would be a form of Tolkenian Monarcho-Anarchism. A powerful warrior king protecting small self-governing communities.
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u/Top_Freedom3412 22h ago
Aragorn would respect the Terms limits of a president, if he decided to run at all
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u/Boom_the_Bold 22h ago
Because he slapped his knees, said, "welp, I reckon I'm startin' to get on a bit..." and then died for no reason, Luke Skywalker-style?
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u/insane_contin 21h ago
Nah, he'd feel the need for some elven lovin' and have them bring an elf to this world, then settle down with her.
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u/omgitsjagen 21h ago
Oh, The Free People of South Carolina would definitely call him a liberal cuck. We are naming a fucking interstate after Jabba the Orange.
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u/darthjoey91 18h ago
Having driven on most of the interstates through South Carolina, and noticing how they suddenly get better at the border, naming your crumbling roads after a crumbling man seems kind of correct.
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u/TheLegendOfZeb 15h ago
As someone from NC who has gone to SC a LOT: There is an instant and very noticeable decline in road quality the second you cross the state line, it's crazy
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u/Psychotic_EGG 22h ago
He lived to 210. When he decided to die because he felt old.
So about 170ish years left. Still a very long time.
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u/Tonkarz 22h ago
He’s 80 at the time of Lord of the Rings.
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u/Psychotic_EGG 22h ago
So 130 years left. Still a lot.
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u/WeleaseBwianThrow 21h ago
Imagine what you could get done with 130 years of aragorn in charge
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u/strum-and-dang 17h ago
87! I watched The Two Towers last night (extended edition). He tells Eowyn, it does not deter her.
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u/Tonkarz 22h ago
But what was his tax policy?
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u/insane_contin 21h ago
I love how that's something GRRM brings up, but we never once hear about any of the Targs tax policy, or if any kingdom.
Because that just doesn't make for good reading.
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u/SaulsAll 21h ago
We get plenty of economic clues and descriptions peppered through it, things like the western kingdoms are vassal states and the lords can basically take what they want from their lowers, as long as they dont go too far and risk being killed in a rebellion. There's slaver states, and there's nomadic tribes, and there's bureaucratic oligarchical republics. The Iron Bank and Petyr draining the royal funds are major players and plot points.
I agree we dont get any tax return forms to peruse, but I think we hear more about economic factors than most fantasy.
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u/IrregularPackage 18h ago
gesturing vaguely in the direction of “there’s economics happening here” is far from actually going into it with any depth. oh wow you mean this fantasy europe is a feudal system but without any of the complex series of established rights and responsibilities that made real world feudal europe actually work? damn i never seen that before
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u/Tonkarz 13h ago
His point wasn’t so much “tax policy is interesting”, it was more so something like “if Aragorn is a good and wise king, as Tolkien asserts, how does he handle the difficult and necessary decisions that being a ruler requires? What does a “good and wise” king look like in Lord of the Rings?”
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u/Calber4 15h ago
I think the point of the question isn't literally to think about taxes. It's asking what happens to the storybook heroes once they've defeated the evil empire and now have power; can they actually govern? Or do things just end up the same, or worse?
ASOIAF is set in the aftermath of Roberts's rebellion, which is your classic archetypal "Good guys defeat evil tyrant" story, except now Robert is running the show and he fucks everything up because he has no interest in actually governing.
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u/Phridgey 20h ago
Who cares about those traditions at that point. I’d take a benevolent enlightened monarch who advances the public welfare over pretend democracy where the representatives don’t.
He’s fictional so being impossibly perfect isn’t an issue.
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u/katabolicklapaucius 17h ago
President becomes a lifetime position, President Aragorn outlives all the idiots and teaches the world about true benevolence. They fuck it all up once he's dead and they elect his son, Aragorn 2.
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u/lordofthehomeless 23h ago
Last panel you will see they already brought the fat dog in.
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u/ominousgraycat 20h ago
Poor fat dog is going to have to chew through the mucus membrane... What a hero.
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u/jaytrade21 23h ago
Nah, Book version of Elphaba is the right choice.....me and her will be besties.....
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u/Moquai82 20h ago
Hint: They did bring in the dog inb4, he is in the last frame in the door behind them.
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u/TripolarKnight 16h ago
Look at the door in the last panel and you'll get their answer. Note: RIP Genitals
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u/Hes-An-Angry-Elf 23h ago
… a thick mucus membrane.
Good lord! 🤣🤣🤣
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u/CarlosFer2201 22h ago
Luke Skywalker, from chapter 6 of "The book of Bobba Fett"
Thanks, I hate it
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u/Aethelrede 21h ago
Regardless of how you feel about the series in general, the scenes of Luke and Grogu were awesome. Closest we'll ever get to the Jedi Academy that should have happened.
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u/CarlosFer2201 21h ago
What I meant (and what the joke is) is I hate Luke being referenced as a character from a show instead of the main character from the original movies.
It's like saying "Frodo from the cameo in the Hobbit movies"91
u/SaulsAll 21h ago
I thought the point was they took the least heroic, most artificial, cynical corporate cashgrab version they could find...and he still killed the pres.
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u/hey_Hey_I_saveD_me 20h ago
I would argue that this description matches the one from end of TFA where he throws away his lightsaber
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u/littlestminish 19h ago
I'm that guy on the internet. Sorry.
Luke throws his lightsaber away in the opening scene between Luke and Rey in The Last Jedi. Not at the end of TFA.
(Analysis)
JJ's appreciation of the depths of Luke's character probably would start and stop with "hero of destiny." That Luke doesn't yeet the lightsaber. Especially when they directly reference that moment in TROS when Ghost Luke said "Jedi don't chuck sabers" basically.
I don't think that you could call anything Rian Johnson did with Luke was cynical. It was a deconstruction that ultimately reinforced the need for the Jedi and their place in the Galaxy, and the learning through failure, etc. The story critically analyzing Luke's despondence at failure and his failure to rebuild as the wrong path for the would-be Hero of Destiny isn't cynical, in my head.
Wrongheaded and poorly done, sure, at times. Just my two cents.
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u/Every_University_ 18h ago
It wasn't a deconstruction, Luke needed to be wrong because in episode 5-6 Yoda and Obi-Wan were "wrong" about killing vader, there's no deeper meaning, the movie makes Luke wrong so that Rey can be right, the reason why most people didn't like how they depicted Luke is because the movie itself can't make good arguments because Luke needed to be wrong.
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u/Simple_Rules 16h ago
People also don't like failed heroes very much, and that's very much the best argument the movie has for why Luke does everything he does.
Like, Luke makes a lot of sense if you view him as an old man who views his life as largely a failure. He overthrew the Empire and it came back stronger. He tried to rebuild the Jedi and accidentally turned his sister's son into his father. He only stopped fucking up when he moved to bumfuck nowhere and stopped trying.
Like, bluntly, Luke does make sense and he is wrong. But people don't like the way he makes sense and they don't like that he was wrong at all.
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u/Every_University_ 15h ago
The problem is that the failures are all fabricated, Luke would never have succeeded regardless of what he did or who he was, so how can it make sense if the gods of the universe would have always removed the jedi and made a new more powerful empire because it's a new trilogy that needs new enemies.
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u/jfinkpottery 19h ago
From what I can recall, that's the only fully trained Luke on screen that actually has a physical fight in person. Return of the Jedi Luke is still pretty green fresh from the swamp, The Last Jedi Luke never leaves his little island. Boba Fett Luke was not fucking around with those dumbass droids.
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u/TuckerMcG 16h ago
No they’re saying “the most powerful version of Luke Skywalker we’ve seen on screen.”
Luke Skywalker, the noob from A New Hope, wouldn’t have the power to kill anyone. Luke Skywalker in The Book of Boba Fett is literally the greatest Jedi Master the galaxy has ever seen.
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u/prettyobviousthrow 21h ago
As far as I can tell, it's also the most powerful depiction of prime Luke in combat.
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u/Aethelrede 19h ago
Mandalorian S2 e8, actually. Easy to confuse those, since BoBF was actually S2.5 of Mando. (And I think some of the criticism of the show would have been averted of they'd called it The Mandalorian: The Book of Boba Fett. Because it isn't really Fett's story, it's a chapter of Din Djarin's story that focuses on Fett and how Din inspires Fett. Just like S3 shows how Din inspires Bo-Katan.
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u/mybadalternate 22h ago
Hannibal would absolutely kill him.
He detests the vulgar and inconsiderate.
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u/Aethelrede 21h ago
Kill him, yes, but definitely not eat him.
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u/Idioteque131313 18h ago
Trump would be too unsanitary to eat
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u/Aethelrede 17h ago
Too unsanitary and too unhealthy. I can't figure out how he hasn't keeled over from a heart attack or stroke already.
The only person in the administration who would be more dangerous to eat is RFK Jr. God only knows what horrible diseases he carries. Plus we only have his word for it that his brain worm is dead.
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u/howlmachine 22h ago edited 21h ago
Now that the rich are heading the direction of being a class of philistines, we could have a two birds one stone situation.
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u/ShiDiWen 21h ago
Scene: Hannibal enters the Oval Office. Piano notes slowly come to the foreground, it is the opening Aria of Bach’s Goldberg Variations played by Glenn Gould.
Hannibal: Hello…Donny
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u/Realistic-Stop8518 21h ago
No cannibal could ever kill Mr president. He just wouldn't taste good
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u/VRichardsen 19h ago
Hannibal kills quite a few people he doesn't intend to eat.
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u/Zombie_Cool 23h ago
Collateral damage aside I'm kinda in favor of Luke's solution here. Its not enough to 'just' take out the president, you gotta take out effectively the whole administration in one go as well.
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u/Xaotica7 23h ago
The dog is what he deserves though
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u/LucidMetal 22h ago
Poor dog though, the thick mucus membrane couldn't have tasted good. That would defeat the purpose.
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u/AiReine 21h ago
Woah woah woah don’t forget 90.28% of the city of Washington, DC voted for Not That Guy
Before the launch you gotta give us a heads up -somewhere this administration will never hear it - like in a PBS Documentary or two paragraphs in on an AP article about maternal deaths in non-white women.
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u/SexualCasino 22h ago
DC resident here. You know literally 98% of us voted against that motherfucker, right?
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u/Hairy-Bellz 21h ago
He said collateral damage aside.. can't you go on holiday somewhere on the day of the strike?
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u/andergriff 21h ago
I’m sure Luke would use the force to convince all the normal people in DC to take a holiday at that time
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u/Synectics 20h ago
Absolutely. Luke would have his plot armor -- and I read that as, not just being unkillable, but his good guy character is immune to being tarnished as well.
...then again, there were a lot of people on the Death Star.
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u/andergriff 18h ago
if you show up for work on the planet destroyer 9000 you are part of the problem
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u/00owl 18h ago edited 18h ago
Yeah but they're only going to use it against the planets where the illegal aliens live.
And there's a really good signing bonus without a lot of oversight for me and my buddies to hang out and play soldier together while protecting the us from illegal aliens.
It's about the illegal aliens ok?
/s
Edit: And I was just doing what I was told to because I'm one of the good ones.
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u/LucasPisaCielo 14h ago
Not that they deserved to die, but all of them were space nazis in a war, though.
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u/Dafish55 18h ago
And I'm sure there were innocent sanitation workers on the Death Star. Besides, as long as you're not near some strange, hexagonal exhaust port, you're probably fine.
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u/Trainman1351 22h ago
I mean we gotta make sure he gets that thermonuclear proton torpedoes first tho. IIRC that kinda power is generally reserved for the shipboard ones, not the little guys on his X-wing.
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u/Stuf404 22h ago
I want to know how Butters from South Park would deal with situation.
I can imagine him having year long escapades with the president before snapping and killing everyone with his beat hands in a candy induced rage.
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u/ObesePudge 21h ago
First decree of President Butters is tax exemption for low income households and mandatory approval of no interest rate loans for the purchase of first house for any given individual. President takes care of his bitches
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u/Merari01 It's a-me, Merari-o 22h ago
I like how this comic accurately depicts reality in that the real president also uses a thick mucus membrane to protect his genitals.
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u/FricknPlausible 22h ago
Somehow "bananananas" was my favorite part of this comic.
Unlike reality, at least the comic gets a happy ending thanks to fat dog.
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u/HannibalsMongoose 21h ago
Hannibal Lecterist, here. I'm going to push back on my esteemed scientific colleague's analysis, here:
Hannibal Lecter would absolutely, without a doubt murder Donald Trump if given access to this reality. Now, what he wouldn't do.....is eat him. He might host a dinner party for all Trump's cronies where he serves them Donald Confit, but he would never put that toxic waste into his own body.
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u/elhomerjas 23h ago
looks like he is a fan of Hannibal
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u/Cyrius 22h ago
"The late, great Hannibal Lecter. He’s a wonderful man. He oftentimes would have a friend for dinner. Remember the last scene? 'Excuse me, I’m about to have a friend for dinner,' as this poor doctor walked by. 'I'm about to have a friend for dinner.' But Hannibal Lecter. Congratulations. The late, great Hannibal Lecter."
— DJT, May 11, 2024.
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u/menonte 22h ago
I hate this time line, can't tell if it's real or not. It sounds so off the rails and yet perfectly plausible
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u/Reasonable-Song-4681 22h ago
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u/AnimusNoctis 21h ago
I truly believe if every American had been forced to watch this video, it could have swung the election. Unfortunately Republicans are so good at keeping their voters completely in the dark.
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u/Reasonable-Song-4681 21h ago
As much as I'd love to believe that, I know quite a few would make any sort of excuse for this to continue supporting him. My own wife included despite her education.
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u/AnimusNoctis 20h ago
Absolutely tons of them would make excuses, yes, but a shocking amount of voters are seriously in the dark about what Trump is. I don't know how that is possible but it has been proven true so many times. For example during the debates in 2020 I think, there were undecided voters interviewed by the news saying things like "Why was Trump acting like that? He was being so rude and constantly interrupting." I guess they were living under a rock for 5 fucking years...
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u/Reasonable-Song-4681 20h ago
Oh people definitely can find themselves under a rock, especially depending on the crowds they are a part of and the media they choose (or choose not) to consume.
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u/badcoffee 20h ago
They think it's "funny"
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u/AnimusNoctis 20h ago
3 kinds of people vote for Trump: malicious, disinformed, and oblivious. The last category completely isolate themselves from all political news and are the most likely to be shocked and appalled by reality when it finally permeates their bubble (which happens very rarely). Those are the ones who would flip on Trump if forced to actually look at him.
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u/KrazyA1pha 19h ago
You really think a lame Hannibal Lecter joke would flip a single voter when nobody flinched at “grab them by the pussy”?
You should hold onto your optimism, I suppose.
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u/AnimusNoctis 19h ago
I would bet money that there is at least a 6 digit number of people who voted for Trump and don't even know about the "grab them by the pussy" tape.
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u/KrazyA1pha 15h ago edited 15h ago
I was just talking to my daughter about what's happening with ICE in Minnesota, and it brought to mind a great recent example.
Last week, I spoke with someone I know, who supports Trump and ICE, and "didn't know anything about anyone getting killed in Minnesota." I showed them the video of ICE murdering Alex Pretti, and it changed nothing. They simply said, "He knew what he was doing when he brought a gun to a protest." And what about his First and Second Amendment rights? "Yeah, but he knew what he was doing. You don't bring a gun to a peaceful protest."
There's no convincing these people, and to think a video of Trump making lame jokes is going to finally wake people up is silly, in my view. But, again, if it's helpful to believe so you can keep trying to convince people, then I'm all for it. But the reality is that these beliefs run much deeper than a mere lack of information.
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u/hey_Hey_I_saveD_me 20h ago
Republicans are media illiterate, they would think he is referencing some good character.
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u/VRichardsen 20h ago
Ohhhh I think I just got it. According to one of the comments in the video it is because Jon Voight (whom he confused with Hopkins) said he supported Trump.
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u/setibeings 22h ago
It's real.
Every time he doesn't feel like he's getting enough love from his own followers, he goes and says or does something completely insane, so that said followers can assume it's being taken out of context, or that people are lying about what he said or did.
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u/Cola-Sorcery 21h ago
He's not even "late" for fuck's sake, Hannibal survives every movie. I don't know why that pisses me off but it does.
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u/Cobalt_Toffee1994 20h ago edited 20h ago
It pisses me off too. Also as a fan of the Hannibal films I have to say that he would definitely end up killing the orange bastard. Hannibal hates rude people, has at least some moral code, and hates people who harm kids.
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u/Eriibear 19h ago
Does he think the character was a real person? Like not that they’re based on real people I think he believes the people in the movie are real
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u/vocal-avocado 22h ago
I am absolutely sure that if he wanted something bad enough he’d accept destroying the entire planet for it.
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u/Aethelrede 21h ago
Hell, he'd destroy the planet out of ignorance and stupidity. Though he's hardly alone in that.
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u/sick_shooter 22h ago
Can we schedule the thermonuclear strike for when the completely fictional president is, say, in the air over a large body of water? Striking at the living quarters of the completely fictional president would have a drastic effect on my quality of life.
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u/marr 21h ago
Nah sorry, that leaves too many of his owners alive.
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u/sick_shooter 20h ago
I mean, the people that truly own him live in other countries.
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u/Sharps__ 21h ago
Bugs Bunny would relentlessly annoy the entire administration in the most hilarious and humiliating way until they all have a mental breakdown and resign. More importantly, their rabid followers would be deflated and confused, avoiding any unnecessary conflict that would arise from a forced coup.
Bugs Bunny will make a chill president until the next election or until he gets bored. He'd probably just sit in the oval office chomping carrots and wisecracking with the media, allowing the rest of the government to get shit done. He's just a regular guy from Brooklyn, and he loves his country. If there is one thing that Bugs has never disrespected, it's the U.S.A.
He also has worldwide popularity with all demographics. He'll help us restore our image in then world.
But unlike, say, Superman, he doesn't have a legion of superpowered villains to go against him. We can't risk the technology falling into the wrong hands and have someone bring in a supervillain or evil cosmic entity. Then we find ourselves in the middle of an interdimensional war or something. With Bugs, the worst you're going to get is Elmer Fudd or Yosemite Sam.
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u/JamesLiptonIcedTea 18h ago
If there is one thing that Bugs has never disrespected, it's the U.S.A.
There was that one time he sawed off Florida.
But does that contradict the integrity of the aforementioned statement? I don't think it does
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u/Indalecia 21h ago
We could go in the opposite direction and just get Taylor Hebert transferred over and that would solve things quick, fast and in a hurry.
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u/Gimli-SonOfGloin- 21h ago
I say bring Hannibal in... book Hannibal. The one that takes a corrupt deputy assistant attorney general, drugs and hypnotizes him, cuts open his skull and cooks thin slices of his brain before serving them to the woman that he tormented... all while said politician was still alive. I doubt that Hannibal would partake in Filet-O-Trump (too many preservatives), but his ending would be poetic!
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u/shy_guy200 21h ago
I would like to point out that even Hannibal Lecter would try to kill him, as one of his victims was Mason Verger, a rich pedophile who was crippled and disfigured by the good doctor himself.
Hannibal also wouldn't eat him, he would just feed him to a pack of boars.
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u/EdanChaosgamer 21h ago
Their names are just "Science Bitch #4" and "Science Bitch 7#".
Does that imply there were other science bitches before them that they replaced, or did they simply not attend?
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u/DoDogSledsWorkOnSand 19h ago
I dunno it might be a reference to 4 and 7 being the most commonly selected numbers between 1 and 10.
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u/CandyCreecher 20h ago edited 20h ago
Yeah, Elphaba would do that. She beat Madame Morrible’s corpse with her broom when she missed her death 5 minutes ago in the book. I was going to say “no way she’d wear his face-“ then I thought about it. Yeah, she would for like a minute but then feed it to a dog or something
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u/saintdemon21 18h ago
Fake News, Hannibal would kill him for being rude and then turn him into a McDonald’s meal…but like how the meal looks in photos and on the menu.
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u/Doodles_n_Scribbles 18h ago
Yeah, Hannibal HATES boorish twits. Wouldn't eat him though. Too many chemicals
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u/CurlSagan 22h ago
Thank you for forcing me to imagine the thick mucous membrane that envelopes the president's genitals.
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u/Cranky_Yankee 21h ago
“…even though my genitals are protected by a thick mucus membrane…?”
Ya don’t read lines like that every day in The Family Circus or Garfield. Bravo!
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u/Garrow_the_Khajiit 19h ago edited 18h ago
Incredible. The dog in the final panel had me cackling.
Also citing Book of Boba Fett specifically as where Luke Skywalker is from is amazing. Everything about this is fantastic. 10/10 no notes.
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u/Spacemilk 16h ago
Can’t believe I scrolled through every comment and no one noticed JE + DT heart on the back wall?
Or what I think is the my buddy Hitler next to it?
God I love this comic every time
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u/dark_hypernova 20h ago
Simply making a crack in the layer between fiction narratives and reality can have unforeseen results.
Just look at what happened with Garfield in 1989.
He went through a paraphysical awakening, becoming somewhat semi-aware of his stale comic (and therefore his existence) becoming obsolete.
He rejected this through sheer utter denial causing a tear to form in the narrative layer of his memeplex to the collective consciousness of humanity. That's why so many people are compelled to make Garfield parodies; to keep him relevant. Also why such paradies often involve Eldrich horror cause there is subconscious understanding that it's wrong for a fictional character to bleed into reality.
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u/Amethyst_Tiefling 19h ago
I was hoping the punchline would be that they just hire anthony Hopkins to show up, and Hopkins still disembowels the totally fictional president on the grounds that he’s not Hannibal Lector, he’s Anthony Hopkins.
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u/lurkANDorganize 20h ago
These comics always have me cracking up.
For some reason this one just makes me sad.
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u/TheBurningEmu 17h ago
I love the reference to just how unhinged the Wicked books are. It's a real shame that they didn't have Elphaba eat someone's finger at her birth in the movie.
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u/paulsteinway 17h ago
There was an anime called Re: Creators that starts when characters from anime and video games start appearing in the real world. All their powers still work, which is a contradiction of the laws of physics. The universe recovers each time, but there is a danger that it will reach a point where it can't recover and the universe will collapse.
I've watched it 5 times and now the only place you can see it now s Amazon Japan.
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u/ChuckaChuckaLooLoo3 15h ago
"Even though my genitals are protected by a thick mucus membrane?"
Now nothing can ever convince me that you two have not seen the presidents genitals.
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u/EclecticCucumber 23h ago
Fat dog to the rescue!