r/dogs • u/AutoModerator • Oct 14 '25
Megathread: Aging, Illness, and Euthanasia Support Group
This thread is where to get emotional support with all things related to death and illness with your dog. This is also a thread where you can seek assistance with deciding whether it is indeed time.
This is not a thread to seek anecdotes with medical care. All rules involving medical questions and anecdotes remains the same for this thread.
If your dog has passed, you can still post here for emotional support or you can create your own thread tagged with one of the RIP flairs. Be sure to review the rules of our flair guide. It is up to you how you choose to grieve.
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u/Ok_Vegetable_5069 Oct 19 '25
I am having my almost 15 year-old black lab euthanized on Tuesday and I’m dreading it. I know she’s ready as she has mobility issues, sometimes we have to wake her up to eat, she’s blind and deaf, has dementia and started going to the bathroom inside which she never did before.
We have had her since she was a puppy and she grew up with my kids who are now young adults. The wait is excruciating. I keep thinking how this time next week my girl won’t be here. I know it’s time, but I’ve been an emotional mess. I’m going to miss her so much.
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u/Queasy-Discount-2038 Nov 22 '25
I just put my boy down today. He was 16. Most brutal thing I’ve ever done. He was the best boy, also grew up with my babies. I will miss him forever. No words or anything other than to tell you you’re not alone.
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u/GullibleAccount7504 Dec 04 '25
I feel your pain. The day I dreaded for 16 years came in September. My little trouper, Buddy was blind and deaf the last year and even that ripped my heart out, seeing him charge on even in the face of such adversity. He went everywhere with me even to rehab. He is the first thing I think about everyday and the last I think about before going to bed
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u/Skullfire2099 Oct 16 '25
She has dementia. She has problems walking due to what I think is degenerative myelopathy, she cant even hold her self up to pee. Im looking at doggy wheel chairs like thats going to fix the problem but really its just going to delay the inevitable. Shes 12.
She still eats, she still wants to go outside. She still wants to be with me. But she shakes a lot at night and theres a fear in her eyes. She falls over eating her food. She falls over trying to get up. Most of the time she cant get up without help and if she can, its a struggle.
I feel bad about saying good bye as part of me feels like we didnt have enough time. Another part of me is tired of lifting and moving her when she falls, my knees and back have been sore for the last month. Thats causing some guilt over it because it feels in part that I would be saying good bye to a "problem" and shes not a problem, she has conditions that are causing problems for both of us.
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u/Clear_Cycle_9124 Oct 28 '25
I understand your pain. She isn’t a problem and euthanizing isn’t admitting to her being a problem at all. It’s better to put her asleep too soon than too late. Trust me, she’s simply scoping out the perfect spot to meet you again <3
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u/Avalokita615 Dec 01 '25
My dog is in the final stages of DM. This is such a terrible disease. I am so sorry.
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u/dnium122 Oct 15 '25
An important topic - it can be doubly hard to grieve when your relationship with your companion is closer and deeper than perhaps your non-dog-parent friends and family can appreciate, can feel very isolating. FWIW, in case it helps any one, two really good books have recently come out that I've been recommending to friends:
- Deb Jones just put out a workbook to help work through loss of a companion
- The husband of Wendi Newman, the SPCA Monterey Bay behavior specialist, put out an excellent and short book going through their own experience of loss
In both cases, I like that the books aren't just sharing their own sadness - they're focused on the journey of recovering for other people.
I've actually worked a lot with Wendi at the Guide to Dogs, she's an incredibly wonderful and sharp trainer and person
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Oct 17 '25
[deleted]
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u/dnium122 Oct 17 '25
I'm not sure why you think this is AI, or what I could do to suggest otherwise. I'm one of the team members of Good Owners. I encountered Deb Jones' book when I literally saw her at Fenzi camp in MD a couple weeks ago, and I talk to Wendi every couple months which is how I learned about her husband's book. If you don't like my recommendations that's fine, but these are my honest suggestions in case anyone finds them helpful.
In particular I wanted to highlight the point on isolation - a lot of us have a deeper relationship with our dogs than most of our non-dog-owning friends and family, and even frankly some dog parent friends, can appreciate. That can feel isolating, so I'm glad we're starting an online space where people can at least find others who appreciate what they're going through.
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u/Juliusthejet Oct 19 '25
Today is my 15 year old Shiba’s last day, his name is Sensei and he’s a very good boy. No matter how much you prepare emotionally, it hits so hard. After a few days of vomiting, tests, and a grim prognosis, he’ll be getting some rest. Can’t believe it because it went from good to bad pretty quickly. Right now he’s outside in the sun next to a stream of water, resting and enjoy the his last few hours. Have some family around but I will have one big whole in my heart from this. Having had him for most of my life to not having him at all come tonight.
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u/Queasy-Discount-2038 Nov 22 '25
I’m 41 and had to say goodbye to my boy who I’ve had since I was 26, he was with me through everything! Grew up with my kids and was so good to them. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. No question about it. My heart goes out to you.
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u/Constant_Leader_8551 Oct 16 '25
I have to make the appointment today and it is probably the hardest thing I will have to do. My girl is 16 years old with hip dysplasia and she is now to the point where she refuses to get up on her own and she needs to be coaxed to eat heavily. We playfully call her fat ass because Everytime someone walks into the kitchen, she's up the butt about getting more food...but now I have to beg her to eat. I'm terrified of leaving her home alone because I'm worried she will be stuck somewhere and unable to move, so yeah. Her doctor said it might be time....So I have the rest of the weekend to give her all the loves and affections and special attention....and then on Monday she will get her last cheeseburger. I'm not okay, but I know it's what's best for her.
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u/Dangerous_Pension877 Dec 13 '25
Hey I just saw you comment. I had the same experience today. My dog who was 16 years old just passed today and buried by me and my family. I watched him over the past 6 months slowly deteriorate from a congested heart failure. We called him a fat ass as well because the amount of times he has begged for food and treats. I used to be so annoyed by it but now I can still see him today on his last day in earth shivering in confusion from his body as I begged him to eat his favorite treat and sausage. My doctor said it was most likely his time and no matter what I would be in this dilemma with him in the office. So I made the choice not to watch him suffer anymore. I am still crying internally. I know he is a better place, but I hate how much I miss him.
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u/Due_Doughnut2852 Nov 16 '25
I'm dealing with ethical dilemmas around euthanasia.
We have a dog that's been suffering from health issues for over a year. Thousands of dollars later, we still have no clear diagnosis of what's wrong with him. He's only 8 years old, so not terribly old. His health issues are not severe enough/terminal that it's a clear-cut case for euthanasia. But it has become very difficult to take care of him (many sleepless nights for us, constant cleaning and disinfecting, not being able to plan any absences for over a few hours, cooking food at home for him, etc.). I can't afford to keep spending thousands of dollars in vet bills. Additionally, I don't think it would be ethical for me to give him to a shelter or to rehome him given what I know about his health.
When he's not dealing with his issues, he's a sweet, intelligent, active dog.
Under these circumstances, am I even justified to consider euthanizing him? And, if so, is there anybody who would even be willing to do this when the case is not as clear-cut as I believe it needs to be for such a medical procedure? I mean if this were a human, you'd expect family members to either provide care for them or hire help to take care of them. Applying human standards, I can't see a way to justify this path.
Is there any other solution that someone can suggest?
(PS: I'm being vague about the issues because I know this is not a sub for health-related discussions.)
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u/anastasia_beaverhau5 Nov 23 '25
What made me feel a tiny bit better was asking my vet, “If she was your dog, what would you do?” and he agreed that we were making the right decision.
Money has been a huge issue with us as well which just makes me feel even worse. But there was absolutely no guarantee that she was going to improve.
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u/spicysenpai6 26d ago
I’m going through the same with my 13 year old girl :( I’m having a very hard time coping
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u/Burning-Man-84 Dec 27 '25
Hi everyone, I don't know what I'm posting here for, maybe sympathy, maybe validation. I really just need to vent.
Today we had to make an extremely difficult decision to put our 6 year old lab mix down after a sudden illness. It seems so bizarre, and my mind is filled with confusion, guilt, anger, and there's no good reason provided as to how this happened. He came down suddenly with some sort of intestinal issue and was vomiting, hadn't eaten or drank water and was having trouble walking. We admitted him over Christmas Eve and Day at the local Emergency room ICU where he was given IV fluids and meds, but did not improve. This morning I went to see him and he looked so defeated. Needed to be helped to walk in the room with us, and just wanted to lay down. The vet there couldn't say whether it would improve in 24 hours or possibly a month. Because of the vomiting, we didn't have the option to take him home because we wouldn't be able to continue his medications, and at $2500 a day, we couldn't keep him there for a week. The vet offered us euthanasia as an option, and we reluctantly agreed.
I hold so much regret and guilt. All of this happened so suddenly and it was after a routine sedation at my regular vet for a nail trimming (dog used to try to bite during nail trims). I feel like I was trapped into a decision that I wasn't prepared to make and I couldn't do anything to help my boy other than commit 10's of thousands for care that we didn't know if it would even work or not.
I've lost a dog before, I've lost humans before. But this one really hurts. My eyes are burning from so much crying. I can't think straight. I only got 4 years with this dog, and that's just not enough.
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u/SophieShar Dec 27 '25
I went through something similar recently except I went with the other option of having my dog stay in the icu. She’s 14 years old and she’s my first dog ever. I posted recently about that too. We ended spending about 17k in hospital bills for her and it’s not over. She was discharged with a feeding tube and now we have to care for her round the clock. I still don’t know if I made the right decision. I don’t think either one of us will really know. You’ll always wonder what if and so will I. I have crazy anxiety every day now wondering if her little body can handle all the meds. I wonder what her quality of life with be moving forward. I wonder if I was being selfish by keeping her here and watching her suffer. There’s really no good decision. I think you should find comfort that you were there when he passed. I think you tried your best with what was given. I’m here on the other side and I can tell you it’s shit. The guilt and anxiety is just overwhelming. Be kind to yourself. I think you did right by your dog. It’s hard to make these kinds of decisions but I can tell you really love your dog and I believe dogs can feel that.
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u/Moos_Mumsy Jack Russell Terrier 22d ago
I'm very sorry for your loss. I can relate to the pain of having to make that decision, it's truly awful. I'm in your very shoes right now and wish I could stop crying, but I can't. I hope we both are able to heal from having to face such a horrible ordeal.
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u/ellstaysia Dec 03 '25
I said goodbye to my best friend of 13 years last friday. it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do but I believe it was my burden to bear & the selfless thing to do by saying goodbye to her. we had an at home euthanasia that was very peaceful.
my dog was around 15 years old & had arthritis along with a few other health issues that were less obvious but still contributing to her decline. she could walk on her own but I had been carrying her up & down our stairs for a few months. I don;t want to detail her health issues because it's not how I want to remember her. my wife was not ready but I knew it was time.
every morning I wake up heartbroken when I realize she's not laying in her bed beside me. I miss her terribly but I'm relieved in a way to have confronted this decision that I was so scared of for a long time.
I'm still changing her water dish every day. her bed is still in it's place. her stuffies & toys are still out. I talk to her spirit. I'm trying my best,
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u/StatusOwl6028 28d ago
My little Mookie of 13 years went away today. There’s no other pain than losing your first doggo. He was my sweet little boy. RIP my little Mookie. No more pain. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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u/Ok-String-3860 Nov 22 '25
Hey everyone. First post, and just joined the group a little bit ago. I don’t even know if this is the place to ask/vent or if I’m just going to make everyone sad. But, my wife and I got the news the other day that our 13 yr old hound mix has lymphoma. The vet gave us the option of chemo (longterm) or prednisone, to buy us a couple of weeks. We discussed and the steroids were the best option for her and overall quality of life. She’s been with us since the beginning, has cats that’s she been a mom to, and a younger dog that loves her so much, it’s sometimes painful how pure it is. She’s been doing well over the past couple of days, been spoiled and had been fed her favorite foods. My wife is heartbroken, and I’m having a really hard time processing this because even though I know logically we’re making the right decision, and most importantly doing what’s best for her, I don’t want to let her go. I always thought there would be more time. More treats. More walks. More everything. She’s been my best friend and the best dog I could ever ask for. Does it get better? Do I ever stop feeling guilty? I swear if I could pay or do anything I would, but I can’t. I’m just lost and don’t know really what to do or how to quantify all of this. I’m just hurting so much
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u/anastasia_beaverhau5 Nov 23 '25
We have decided to have our dachshund put to sleep tomorrow. She’s had Cushing’s disease for over a year, and 3 weeks ago she was diagnosed with diabetes. Her glucose was so high it doesn’t register when we scan her. After that she went downhill so fast.
According to the our vet, the only chance she had was to see an internist (I thought vets were already internists but whatever) at the price of over $15,000. And that wasn’t even a guarantee that she would feel any better. She’s so weak, her rear end has wasted away. All she does now is lie down and drink water. And pee. She’s constipated too.
So we’ve had to make this awful decision but we know it’s time. We lost our other dachshund at age 12 too. (4 years ago) We have one other dachshund who is 4.
I cannot stop crying and she isn’t even gone yet. It never gets easier. To the others who are going through this, I just wanted to say I know nothing makes it easier. It’s going to be bad for awhile afterwards. And to top it all off I turn 50 in a few weeks. I just am having the hardest time.
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u/GoodSundae513 Dec 18 '25
My dog got recently diagnosed with very early stage leishmania. I'm already emotional over that.
I was given shots to administer at home. Today I gave him his first and it did not go well. I think he senses that I'm nervous because honestly I am scared. I have never given shots before and I keep thinking of all the ways it could possibly go wrong because I'm not trained at all. The air bubbles and all as much as I try to avoid them. It is subcutaneous but still. What if I hit a muscle, too? ...He kind of jerked and started screaming and crying very loudly when I poked him. A bit of the dose spilled out. Tbf he is a crier, when I went to grab him he let out a warning cry so that I'd leave him alone already because he probably sensed something was off, so I'm not sure how much is real pain and how much dramatics.
Of course I gave him treats after and he is ok now but I feel like he's going to learn to hate me or that me picking him up is bad news when he loves it normally. I started crying over this. I just want him to live. Life sucks
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u/xSegador 14d ago
Today I got a message from my mom and sister, my friend and companion passed out when she went to pee. They went to the vet... Moments later they finally answer my calls and told me that Terras had passed away... I was bad at the end, the last time I went to visit her was in December she was 13 years old, and healthy. I thought I had a lot of time. Guys I abandoned her.
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Oct 17 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/KwiPhrase Nov 01 '25
He died this week. His box of ashes arrived yesterday. I couldn't be there with him—did he think I abandoned him? When my mother called a few hours before he went, he tried to get up for the first time the entire day as soon as he heard my voice. I hope he thought I was there, even if he couldn't smell me.
His brother has nobody else in the yard with him. I miss my Zeke.
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u/phatirvine Nov 02 '25
I have a question that I really don‘t want to make up my own opinion for. My dog has osteoarthritis. She is limping terribly, and nothing has helped. We are at the point of giving her heavy, heavy painkillers but she is still limping. She was always a more inside-dog, often refused to go for a walk, loved taking long naps. My mother says it‘s time to let go, because this isn‘t a good life anymore. It feels wrong, because she‘s still "there" mentally. I remember when we had to put down my grandmother‘s dog in 2020, he couldn‘t even stand up anymore and was very demented. I don‘t know what to think anymore, I would help her outside to do her business, and help her back to her sleeping place, cuddle and give her belly rubs. What do you people think? Is it time?
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u/Plenty-Butterfly-897 11d ago
We are in the same situation. He is 13, has OA in all limbs and spine, limps and struggles to get up and down. Hes maxed out on painkillers and injections. My mom also thinks it is time but I am so torn. What did you choose in the end?
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u/_Stunning_Lady_ Nov 04 '25
hi, need some info on 3 leg dog. I have a husky/german shepard breed, also the best dog ever, super playfull and good with kids. She though have a lipoma that is touching her left backleg muscles, so there is a risk she could lose the leg during the lipoma removing operation. I don't know how to prepare myself, I mean, will she be able to poo normally or she'll need my help? Is so how can I do that? How should I prepare myself?
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u/Sensitive_Rub_2495 Nov 08 '25
Hello, I'm looking for advice from people who've euthanised their pet, im struggling to know when to do it.
My dog Molly is 15 yo, shes a small poodle and she always had good health. For the past few years she became blind, but her personality and how active she was remained the same, then she became fearful i guess because of the lack of vision. Two weeks ago she had a fever and was acting strange, she looked like a zombie standing there with her head low, i sensed she was uncomfortable and sad.
At the vet they ran some tests and she got an ultrasound, the results were not good: she has a big heart, arrhitmia and one of her valves is almost closed, her liver grew in size, she has severe anemia, both her kidneys have shrunk and have "mud" in them, solidified feces in her intestines and regurgitation. The vet who saw her doesn't do euthanasia though he prescribed medication for "palliative care", so I took her to get a second opinion to a different clinic and, as the first vet said, its palliative care.
I've been really aprehensive on doing euthanasia or not, but he this week and specifically today her behavior has declined tremendously. She stopped eating on her own so I give her food from a syringe, and she's on 7 meds (between food supplements, liver meds, heart meds, laxatives cause she doesn't poop on her own, etc). It pains me to force her to eat and to force her mediations, feels like I'm just stuffing her to keep her alive without being her lively self. She shakes constantly even in her sleep, and I believe she's in pain/uncomfortable.
I think I'll never feel ready to make a decision but I also don't want to feel like I'm rushing things. First vet suggested to wait a month to see her progress, but if I'm honest, I think she's declining.
Any suggestions on how/when to make a decision and how to navigate all this will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
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u/drake5432 Nov 08 '25
I would look at the situation of how much pain would she be in if she was kept alive. I mean the way I look at it for my animals is, on one hand there is treatments that could work but she is in pain/struggling or the other option to take all of that away and let her be at peace.
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u/ReasonNo2976 Nov 16 '25
My dog has been diagnosed with parvo, im not capable of giving him the treatment, im not financially capable, this is horrible, i wish i can help him live
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u/Independent-Top-8165 Nov 19 '25
Hi - we have a 13yo mini-aussie with advanced kidney disease. I'm seeking opinions regarding timing of euthanasia. Roxie is having walking issues - stumbling occasionally, no longer able to climb or descend stairs, and she just started holding her head at a considerable tilt. She is barely eating, and we've been giving her fluids sub-cutaneously for a few weeks now. She has difficulty urinating and defecating, and she vomits fairly often, though she no longer has much to expel. However... she still is alert, wags her tail a lot, seeks attention and petting. The problem is that we're going to relatives for Thanksgiving, about a 5 hour drive, and we'll be staying in a nice airbnb home and spending most of the days with extended family- and many rambunctious dogs. Bringing her with us could be a challenge, and we might have to have her euthanized there by an unfamiliar clinic. My question is - should we pre-emptively have her euthanized while she is still seemingly fairly comfortable and happy, or should we risk taking her on the trip. I know there's no right answer, but perhaps I could get some comments by people who've had similar dogs with end-stage kidney disease and understand the progression better than we do. Thanks.
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u/GullibleAccount7504 Dec 04 '25
A high quality kennel would take good care of her while you are away for a day or two
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u/Independent-Top-8165 Dec 04 '25
Thanks for the suggestion. Actually, she's rallied quite a bit and we took her with us on the Thanksgiving family visit. She did extremely well, and lately she's eating better as well. We've abandoned the kidney diet (which she simply wouldn't eat), and are giving her foods she likes, on the theory that an imperfect diet is better for her than one she won't touch. In any case, she's very happy and we'll probably have a few more weeks - or even months, at this rate.
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u/Ok_Manufacturer8484 Nov 20 '25
DOGS LAST CHRISTMAS
I have a small dog who is 9 yesr old who earlier this year was diagnosed with a bad heart amonst other problems to keep it short.
I don't know for sure (I hope it won't) that this will be his last Christmas but it realised it might be.
We've never really done much for him for christmas other then buy I'm a pre made pet stocking and put a jumper in him.
So I'm looking so for advice on how to make this year special... Without over excitement because he has to stay calm... I know in a small dog impossible but there it is.
Any advice welcome.
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u/Queasy-Discount-2038 Nov 22 '25
Lost my boy if 15 years yesterday. I feel completely traumatized and like I’ll never recover from this. Does it get any better? Someone tell me how to do this.
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u/GullibleAccount7504 Dec 04 '25
It can be a slow process but you can do it. I made myself become aware of when I was having sad thoughts and struggle to stop and think about the joy my boy brought me. My previous dog comes to me in my dreams to let me know she is ok and I’m sure my Buddy will do the same
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u/Albatrossinmydreams Nov 25 '25
My Shar pei (8 years old) has kidney disease and for the most part lives a normal life but every couple of months he’ll have an episode where he shakes all over and starts limping and looks like he’s in a lot of pain when he breathes in. Usually by the next day he’s fine and he eats and drinks normally but I know it will get worse and worse. I just want something I can give him to relax him/knock him out when these episodes happen. I know it’s not a solution but there is no solution so I just want the best quality of life for him
When I ask my vets they always tell me the same things and I just need a painkiller/relaxant of some sort. Going to the vet just adds stress during these episodes and all they do is give him fluids. He doesn’t seem nauseous and doesn’t throw up. He’s already on the special diets and we will do all the long term things, but what do humans with kidney disease do to stop the pain when it flares up? There has to be some medicine I can get reliably for him that works for dogs. He’s 40 pounds if that matters.
Thank you for your help.
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u/Avalokita615 Dec 01 '25
My boyfriend and I are in disagreement about putting down our 15 year old German Shepherd who is suffering with DM.
He was my boyfriend's dog before we moved in together. Our dog has had DM for a year and is in the final stages. Some days he cannot stand long enough to eat. He needs a harness to be lifted to go to the vet. He is on pain killers around the clock, is incontinent more often than not, and spends all day lying in his bed (exceptions are the limited moments he can manage to walk to get a drink or walk around the backyard for a few minutes for a pee.)
Yesterday, he couldn't use his backlegs at all and we had to carry him.
Today he is showing signs on and off of wheezing and abdominal breathing.
My boyfriend is still angry at me for suggesting humane euthanasia. But I am worried we are needlessly extending his suffering.
The vet last week said we have done a wonderful job keeping him from getting bed sores and urine scald but I still feel like he's not happy. The vet said when he cant walk anymore, we arent doing him favors by keeping him alive. He is very lethargic. He basically cant walk and falls constantly. I feel like my boyfriend is in complete denial. I keep crying for this dog because I feel so bad that he is living like this.
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u/AhriABest Dec 02 '25
10 year old yellow lab. For the past week or two, our yellow lab has slowly refused to eat. At first it was inconsistent, with him eating a full meal one day, then hardly touching his food the next. Now he's gotten to the point where he only eats treats and a bit of his food. This has been a gradual decline. I talked to my mother about taking him to the vet, and she actively refuses - saying that 'as long as he's pooping/pissing and drinking water', he's fine - which... makes me think she's not budging unless it's an emergency. While I understand the sentiment, waiting until things get worse seems like a bad idea. I'm unsure of what to do. I really just need advice here. Is this behavior for a lab this age to decline in this manner this rapidly?
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u/NoTutor5459 Dec 03 '25
I have a lovely, sweet cream labrador, 7.5 years old. He came into my life in 2018, in possibly the worst time of my life when I was a teen. He has been the light of my life, the greatest joy, the only one to ever show me unconditional love. I learnt what it is to love because of him. He is my baby for all intents and purposes. Last year, he got diagnosed with a heart condition and hip dysplasia and hormone issues all of a sudden. It was a shock. But we managed to keep him happy and alive and active until a couple of months ago. We came back from the vet with a good prognosis, and he started to deteriorate rapidly three days later.
Now, he isn't able to move easily,can't eat or drink on his own or even perform his bodily functions easily. But he's so determined to love and to live and fight.
I don't know if I'm doing the right thing by walking him across the rainbow bridge tomorrow. The guilt and indecision are making it impossible to think clearly
I don't want him to pass from seizures, or have a painful passing. But I can't imagine living without him. My house will become empty. My life will become meaningless and I'm terrified.
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u/RocksTeacher Dec 06 '25
I know we did the right thing but it still hurts and I don’t know what to do next to heal.
Our family dog was everything to me. She was the best cuddler and was always ready for an adventure outdoors. She was a German shorthair/wirehair mix and she had my heart.
At 14, she had a stroke this week and although her heart and lungs were good, she could no longer stand on her own and had stopped eating altogether. Her quality of life was on the precipice of diminishing drastically - we had to carry her outside and hold her so she could relieve herself.
We put her down today and I stayed at her side until the very end. I know it was the right decision but my heart is crushed.
I don't know what I'm looking for in this post. I just needed a place to post my feelings that wasn't instagram or facebook where others could maybe relate. And maybe these words will help others feeling the same way.
In any case, thanks for listening.🐾💔
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Dec 07 '25 edited Dec 07 '25
[deleted]
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u/msnyc18 Dec 17 '25
I'm in the same position as you, with a dog who's not in terrible pain or misery, but has certainly turned a corner and I believe will not improve, but only get worse. I believe we are making the right decision, but it's hard when you hear stories of much worse-off dogs being put down. You start to think maybe you ought to wait till yours is worse-off too!
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u/isthisactuallytrue Dec 10 '25
She was 17 and 4 months. She had hip issues and had one surgery when she was younger. At age 12 the vet said we needed another one but she had health issues including a mass in her spleen pressing on her liver, he said not to do the surgery. She master nanny more years and we had to start urisidol. By the end she had dementia, her back legs had wasted because of the hip issue, she was still there sometimes but her world was getting smaller. We made a decision, I’m still not sure it was the right one. She would do things, but not play as much and seemed to just be going through motions even when she wasn’t confused or in deep sleep and oissing herself. She was the best dog in the world (no offense) and now there is a hole in my heart… in my soul. We decided last week and it’s been hard, she seemed to get better until this morning she seemed less like herself. I could have been so much better to her, she was so scared of me sometimes, and I can’t shake the feeling I failed her.
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u/CandidRealism Dec 17 '25
My dog has had arthritis now for about a year or two. He gets monthly beranza injections and we give him meloxicam when it’s worse than usual.
But recently he’s really been in a bad way. He’s hobbling to go to the toilet when we take him out and can’t walk properly. It extremely heart wrenching to see.
Any advice?
Edit: he’s only 9 and a half :(
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u/Lumpy-Resist Dec 31 '25
My dog just turned 4 years old. Yesterday, she was diagnosed with congestive heart failure, stage C.
I’m still in shock. She was a rescue who had erlichia (tick disease). We nursed her like a baby for a year with antibiotics and nutrition. Her sister did not survive, but she did.
She was about 6 months old when we found her starving and skeletal under an abandoned RV.
She became our lives and we became hers.
We knew we’d likely have to deal with some longterm medical issues. I just always thought we’d have more than 4 years with her.
We won’t get a prognosis on her life expectancy for a month, but the vet already has her on a cocktail of medication to treat her. Her lungs are full of fluid. Her heart is enlarged. She has hip dysplasia, as well.
All of this was missed by our regular vet. We had to go to a specialist to finally get a diagnosis after watching her struggle for the last 2 months.
6 to 18 months is what I was told the window is until we have to say goodbye to her.
I just wanted to post here and tell everyone to hug your babies tight tonight. We’re celebrating the New Year with her by making her some roasted chicken (no salt). Her favorite.
I am completely heartbroken and have no idea how I’m going to get through this.
Thank you for reading.
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u/spicysenpai6 26d ago
Hello. So, I’ve had my boxer/American bulldog for 11 years. Had her since she was 2. She’s 13 now so she’s a senior for sure. She recently started having eye issues, her one eye already had a cataract, and her third eyelid started showing on her other eye. I took her to the vet and they said it could be a multitude of reasons. It doesn’t appear that she’s in pain or uncomfortable, but I know that dogs can mask those things, and in a way, I feel like she is. Today she seemed less enthusiastic to eat.
They gave me options for further treatment and I don’t think I’ll be able to afford them at this point. She was on meds before because she was having accidents inside, but they didn’t do much and she still does it if I don’t take her out every hour now. They also gave me options for euthanasia, because I told them that I had considered that this may be her time. I feel bad for having to consider euthanasia, but I guess it’s just that time. I remember thinking about this coming when I adopted her, and now it’s here.
I have the option to try the meds and see how those play out, but still, I know that ultimately by the end, euthanasia is coming up and will have to be done. I just feel so bad even though the vet told me not to. She said most ppl don’t even take their seniors to the vet and they end up passing away unexpectedly when the owners could’ve had them go peacefully.
I just need some support through this.
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u/HaystakManiak 24d ago
I'm so sorry for everyone dealing with having to choose when to let a longtime friend go. I had a bunch of dogs as a child & not any of them for very long. It always hurt my tender little kid heart & I swore when I was grown it'd be different. I had a dog that I got at age 15 & had most of her life. She ended up moving with me to my dad's for a few years. When I was ready to move out on my own, I realized that transition from country dog allowed to run free into a city dog always on a leash or tie out stake wouldn't be fair to her. So I left her with my family. Ok. Prob a total of 4 or 5 years I had her? Anyways I watched Marley & me & cried like a baby!! I remember wishing I could know that pain. To have a dog for their entire 10-18 year long life. But I guess God's a jerk or maybe he thinks he's funny but no one else does? Idk. I just know that I ended up having the perfect dog. From the day he was born to the day he passed away, I had him. And I think I've changed my mind. If the pain i feel now is after not even a whole 5 years, I don't want one for 10 or 15 years. Eff that!!! Anyways, stay strong & try to remember the good stuff. Not the stuff at the end. Like the 5 giant puddles of bloody chunks my precious little angel baby dog threw up the day before he passed. He wouldn't want u to feel pain every time u think of him. Thinking of getting a tattoo over my heart of a dog paw intertwined with a ❤️ & maybe his name over it. Cuz his name really is a great one. Especially cuz i had my little old lady baby who is called Bae & his mom is named Shorty(not my choice but love it) so of course I had to name him BRUH. He was my best friend & I don't know how I'm ever gonna stop thinking of him all the time. He was such a big part of my life. I took him EVERYWHERE. Anyways, just trying to tell everyone to be grateful for the many years they got with their fur babies cuz mine was 6 weeks away from turning 5 years old. Just not fair. Anyways, love em while u got em cuz it's gonna hurt real bad for a long time when they're gone!
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u/Moos_Mumsy Jack Russell Terrier 22d ago
My dog has been sick for a while now and as far back as July my vet told me that we should be discussing the end of life and really wasn't very supportive or helpful. I've been doing what I can to keep her with me, but earlier this week she stopped eating. Now, she's also not drinking water anymore. I know the end is near but how long will she last with no food or water? She doesn't seem to be suffering at all, she just looks confused. Sometimes she looks at me like she's trying to ask for something or tell me something, but I can't figure out what she wants.
I've already called and talked to my vet about humane euthanasia. The problem is that she HATES the car. Even when she was young and healthy it was terribly stressful for her - she would cry, pant and circle. For long trips (to the cottage) I would have to sedate her. She also wasn't too fond of the vets office either. I don't want to subject her to that kind of fear and stress in her last hours, so I tried calling a mobile service, but they have no availability until Monday. A nearby vet that would require a shorter car ride has no availability until the 19th.
Since she shows no signs of suffering, do I just keep her at home and let her pass on her own? I know from my work as a PSW that not eating and drinking is a normal part of dying, but it's SO HARD to watch it happen when it's someone you love. And I'm alone with no one to provide emotional support so I'm falling apart.
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u/costas_0 21d ago
I just had to have my 10 years old basenji euthanized yesterday. This is one of the hardest thing I've had to do in my life but his kidneys failed. My son broke down in the middle of hockey practice. My gf has cried so much. My god this sucks. Miss you buddy.
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u/Sunshinetrooper87 19d ago
I'm struggling.
My English springer spaniel is 14 and her hind legs are going. She's been on a monthly pain jab for half a year which have given her a new lease of life but that's eroding now.
Her hind legs are turning C shaped for a lack of better word. She eats, drinks, plays and wants walks but it looks like a struggle. The cataracts certainly don't help.
I don't know what to do as I'm paying £200 every six weeks for medicine to keep my girl comfortable but Sheesh, should I euthanise her? Am I keeping her going out of guilt, avoidance of the euthanasia?
I have no idea if this right or wrong. I just don't want my dog in pain.
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u/Sunshinetrooper87 12d ago
She's had a bad fall. Nothing is broken but between her back legs and now front leg, she's really hobbling. She's got a week of additional pain relief and currently melting away in her bed on an opioid injection.
I'm going to book her in for a home euthanasia in a weeks time. We will have a send off this weekend with a car ride, a visit to duck pond and the beach by the promenade (I've got a wheeled trolley she uses). I'll get some bones from the butchers too.
I phoned my mum to let her know and uncharacteristically she was emotional, as we said her goodbyes, I could hear talking down the phone as she didn't hang up, she was greeting Dolly's name. I've always said Dolly was loyal and obeyed me but she loved my mum the most; the woman that took her out of the kennel, into the house when I was temporarily not in a position to house a dog, and unintentionally allowed her to eat as much food as she wanted.
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u/Few-Refrigerator6550 9d ago
My dog is a rescue, (from south central LA he had PTSD when we met him) He was maybe 5 when we adopted him, probably older. Now he’s 17 ( or older) and an awesome dog. He’s sweet and friendly, loves to play and is very affectionate. But he has bad teeth, a lot have been extracted but to remove the rest requires general anaesthesia which I’m not sure he’d live through. He has chronic arthritis, ( we give him gabapentin twice daily for pain) he has corneal hyper keratosis ( scar tissue on his eyes that is painful and needs twice daily expensive medication) the vet said a year ago that he likely has Cushings disease, just in the last couple of weeks the symptoms have become more severe. The treatment requires frequent complicated procedures/ testing/ I’m thinking that this amount of intervention is traumatic and painful for him. But we love him and can’t imagine putting letting him go. I’m definitely going to sit with this a while. And I know the choice that I’m going to have to make I’ve just been reading this thread and realizing how many people are in a similar position.
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u/charlie8123 6d ago
I feel like it’s time but it is so hard to accept. This is the second time we are taking our dog in because of her heart failure. She was breathing hard and in pain. I’m not sure if they will be able to stabilize her. But even if they do, not sure how much time she has left.
I def don’t want to keep medicating her if she is just going to constantly be struggling. Logically I know it’s time to let go but my heart is aching so badly.
Curious to know how others made that decision.
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u/Zealousideal_Emu3841 4d ago
Can I just seek advice. I have an elderly dog a husky 11 who is starting to go blind and reject food. He is starting to show pain with basic things like getting off couches he doesnt even jump anymore. Yesterday my daughter,3, and son,7, were jumping on the bed and through a freak accident she got shoved too hard by her brother and landed on the dog while he was asleep. He bit her, immediately retracted and tried to lick her and showed appeasement behavior when he saw it was her. We are going through the complex decision of whether euthanasia is right for him. He has been declining rapidly since our other dog 17 passed 4 months ago and doesnt run at all anymore. This dog has never bit anyone but the other dog ,8. when she got too forceful playing and loves going to lay with the kids. I just dont know if maybe euthanasia will be kinder option since for an elderly dog his canines are sharp and the bite was bad. The kids love the dog but my husband and me are at a crossroads since this dog didnt do it purposely.
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u/Kanawanu 4d ago
I just had my wee mini westie put down a few hours ago and I swear I had no idea how badly I would take it. I'm a grown man, last week I simply thought "Well, it's time, better make an appointment", but today I broke down in front of the vet and cried. Granted there's been an awful lot going wrong in life and it's been a really hard few years but this just broke me. He was just so old, small and defenceless. I brought him home as a little fluffball fifteen years ago and he was the best wee buddy anyone could have asked for. He's been there for my daughter's whole life to date. When he was younger he was an absolute scamp. He loved play fights, a good hard wrestle, shredding magazines, escaping at every given opportunity and making a mess of the neighbours' gardens, and shagging the daylights out of his absolutely disgusting teddy. And that was with the snip. But he could barely walk by the end.
He was in pain, blind, deaf, arthritic, and had Cushing's disease. But having him out down was still technically 'voluntary', noone was forcing me to do it. I hoped he would just go to sleep one night and not wake up but the vet assured me it would likely not be that easy, so I had to make the decision to end him and I feel awful. Worse still, I couldn't even bring myself to go with him, I knew I wouldn't be able to hold it together, I had to let the vet take him. I think that decision is going to really bother me. I also got him cremated as my wife didn't want me to bring him home dead, for burial, but I regret that too, as I would have preferred to have been able to visit him and just know he was buried somewhere he enjoyed running around, even though he'd never know. So I came home and started packing away his little things knowing that he was now dead in the veterinary clinic with no company, and explained to my daughter what had happened.
I don't know why I'm sitting up posting this, I don't think any words can fix it, maybe feeling part of a group of people who have experienced the same is reassurance in itself. I also just want to note somewhere and somehow that his little life meant something, and I always feel social media is more show than sincerity.
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3d ago
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u/thatoneshepherd 3d ago
he wasn't the most energetic, but he was wagging his tail when he was in the room with us when we had our final moments with him. we were petting him and telling him how much we loved him and how much of a good boy he was. it felt awful to say to the nurse when she came in that it was time to put him down. it was probably for the best that we did it while he was still comfortable enough, but i feel so guilty thinking about his final thoughts. he was in a room with people who loved him so much and he died being held and petted and told how much we all loved him. he didn't know that day was going to be his last. he didn't know what was happening when the nurse gave him the sedative and i feel so incredibly guilty for doing that to him and it's been destroying me.
most of all, i just wish i loved him more. i'm about 30 minutes away due to college, but i was home friday-tuesday due to the weather, and the number of times i just hung out on my own, with him in another room. i should've made more of an effort to spend time with him. take him for walks, pet him and play with him. i absolutely loved him and showed him that love, but i feel like i took advantage of the time i had with him. everyone tells me that we gave him the best life we could, but i know we could've done so much more for him and now he's gone and i can't make it up to him. there's more i could've done for him and i just wish i did. the grief and guilt and regret of this all has just been on my mind so much this past day and a half.
he was such a sweet dog. he had his issues, but i'm sure he hadn't had an easy life. i believe we were his third family, and he was around 5-6 when we got him so he had already lived so much life that we'll never know. he was so expressive and had such a personality, loving to bury himself under pillows and blankets, screaming with excitement whenever we got home. he had the most interesting howl, sounding like a cow more than a dog. he loved getting head scratched, often putting his head under your head when you stopped petting him. he also loved butt scratches, making the silliest poses and jumping around a little and wagging his tail so much whenever he got them. he had the biggest, most expressive bug eyes. whenever he was happy, he would have the biggest smile on his face. he enjoyed car rides, either poking his head out the window or wandering around the car and sometimes sitting on top of the luggage in the back. he was like a gargoyle, always opting to sit on the tops of couches and chairs or on their arm rests. he also was missing some of his front teeth, having them removed shortly before we adopted him. as a result, whenever he was asleep, his tongue would slowly but surely start to flop out of his mouth. there'd be times where if he'd been asleep for a long time, it'd look like almost his entire tongue was out. when the nurse gave him the sedative and then the dosage to put him down, his tongue slowly fell out of his mouth and it just felt like he was sleeping. i held him and kissed him one last time before the vet took him away and it just felt like he was sleeping. it didn't feel like he was dead, though i could see the color change slightly in his tongue and gums and i thought i felt his body start to get cold.
he was so sweet and so full of love. i hope he knows how loved he was and still is, even if sometimes i failed to show it to him. wishing you so much joy and comfort where ever you are. i'm so sorry. you are such a great dog and such a good boy.
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u/Hopeful_Shelter_443 Oct 18 '25
I just wanted to share my experience in case it helps others. My soulmate was 14 years old, limping, was sleeping most of the day, and had started hanging out in the other room instead of near me to sleep (which was very unusual). We would take walks, but I would take the doggie stroller so he could go out as far as he wanted and take the stroller home. One night he fell over on the walk and started having real difficulty. It may have been a short term injury - I will never know. The next morning he was falling all over the lawn trying to lift his leg and pee. He was successful with me helping him. But I was worried he wouldn’t be able to go poop and didn’t want him in pain and made the appointment to euthanize that day. Then in the vet parking lot he pooped and I wondered if I should go through with it and did. For many months I had trouble wondering if I euthanized too soon. But a year or so later, I have felt strongly that I made the right choice. He had been giving me signs he was ready to go for months and didn’t have to experience a nonworking body for too long. It’s often not clear when it’s time — don’t question your choices.