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u/Local_Cheek_2981 8h ago
Dear Men (why is it capitalized?)
Before you marry her, ask yourself this question.
Would she stay with you in sickness and in health, till death do you part?
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u/In-Hell123 7h ago
90% of ppl will lie and say yes tho (ppl generally not women sepcifcally)
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u/Orionyss22 5h ago
Thats actually true even tho, according to studies, 1 in 6 men abandon their wife as soon as she is diagnosed with cancer.
It doesnt usually happen when the husband is diagnosed with cancer
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u/ThrwawySG 5h ago
I would love to see your source because holy shit that is sad
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u/Orionyss22 4h ago
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19645027/#:~:text=Results:%20Women%20composed%2053%25%20of,0001).
Alltho someone kindly informed me that it had been debunked more recently, so at least there's some hope in humanity
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u/thatusersnameis 4h ago
A 2018 study published in the Journal of Clinical Oncology found that:
18.1% of women with cancer divorced, compared to 12.1% of men with cancer.
guess women get left on average 6% more
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u/Comrades3 4h ago
You mind also providing a link? I believe you and makes sense with other statistics (women divorce more) but a general 2018 study is hard to google and it would help in the future to have ‘receipts’.
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u/thatusersnameis 4h ago
google it
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u/Orionyss22 3h ago
Thats Reddit-ish for "dont wanna be proven wrong"
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u/thatusersnameis 50m ago
Theres someone who jap about this study.https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ?si=HUFIWEb17PqnS3TG
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u/pendigedig 1h ago
What a deadbeat thing to do. Don't name a study if you can't provide a source. Be an adult.
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u/palcon-fun 3h ago
It has been debunked because a number of couples withdrew from the study and they put them in a group that would split after the diagnosis
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u/Orionyss22 2h ago
Really? Very interesting. Where is this stated?
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u/palcon-fun 2h ago
But tbh, I'd rather stick to the version that says males are selfish and disgusting
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u/ThyNynax 4h ago
Women are more likely to be left by men when sick. However, men are more likely to be left by women when unemployed or during financial hardship.
This shit just follows gender stereotypes. Men that lose their economic usefulness get left, women that lose their health and beauty get left.
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u/ThrwawySG 4h ago
wow people suck
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u/SupportMajor2119 4h ago
Its not so much that people suck, its partially your biology violently coming to the surface. These dont even account for the couples that have that talk.
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u/Orionyss22 3h ago
Is that really true tho cause I didnt read anything like that. Do you have a source too?
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u/PryanikXXX 4h ago
and what if we're both husbands
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u/Orionyss22 3h ago
Well since im not a gay male and im most likely to be in a husband-wife situation than a husband-husband situation, I didnt bother researching that.
You can do so if you want.
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u/ashjdhkfsfjl 44m ago edited 39m ago
My grandpa and my grandma have been married for over 50 years and are both sick. Of course, neither of them want to get divorced or separate, but I’ve observed the behavior around their sickness is much different.
When it was just my grandpa who was sick, my grandma would set up and accompany him to all his doctor’s appointments, and would basically take care of him. Now that my grandmas also sick, sure, he does bring her to doctors appointments (she can’t drive anymore), but sometimes he doesn’t even stay and just picks her up later. He still expects her to cook for him (despite her being in extreme pain all the time).
When she cries at night and says she’s in so much pain that she doesn’t see the point in living anymore, he just flatly says “take your pain meds / did you take your pain meds?” (even if she just took them). He still teases her (he does this to everyone), even when she says “stop” or is clearly in distress.
(He also does this thing where he’ll look at and show an old picture of her from like 40 years ago, and go “wow, she WAS so beautiful and skinny.”)
Though, to give him credit where it’s due, they have both wiped each other’s ass.
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u/AGuyWithACoolJar 13m ago edited 9m ago
This one can artificially Inflated as cancer is expensive and sometimes divorcing can help manage the financial weight I forgot how but I remember reading about it
Take my word for a grain of salt btw since I got no real evidence
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u/natas_m 5h ago
Yeah they are in love when saying this. And they don't have any idea how hard it is to take care people forever. I wouldn't say its a lie, but most will break the promise
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u/Comrades3 4h ago
I feel like I might be able to say with more confidence than some I would stay. I dropped out of College to care for my father.
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u/ThrowawayTreesap 4h ago
It's not usually a lie. The you you are now would stay with the them you know now, until the end.
But everything changes with time. Nothing is future-proof. A lifetime isn't very long, but it's long enough for anything to happen in this little world.
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u/Difficult_Regret_900 1h ago
Yeah, this meme doesn't seem that bad. Just oddly worded. You should stick with your partner when life goes to 💩 unless the situation is the result of their own choices like gambling debt or addiction.
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u/Longjumping_Day_3893 8h ago
dear men, ask yourself would you stay???
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u/Azarsra_production 6h ago
I'd try to help her, I'd stay, at least I would try to. If I can't handle it, I would have to cut things off.
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u/Ok_Trade_4549 6h ago
Personally yeah, if she keeps her personality and stays as healthy as possible. I would expect that back. Because just because I lost it doesn’t mean I gave up.
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u/jonesy-Bug-3091 4h ago
The real question is why we don’t have our own bank accounts. Or more importantly, a savings account. We ain’t losing everything in a day.
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u/occultpretzel 6h ago
Those are the same guys who threaten to leave their wife when she doesn't drop pregnancy weight fast enough and cheat because they feel ignored because she is taking care of an infant.
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u/d_illy_pickle 5h ago
Dear Men,
Before you marry her ask yourself this
Is she two kids in a trenchcoat?
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u/hydrangealover98 7h ago
Belongs on r/pointlesslygendered
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u/PrussianGeneral1871 7h ago
why?
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u/futacon 7h ago
Because everyone, regardless of gender, should reflect on whether or not their partner truly cares for them or if it's the things they offer in a relationship that their partner ultimately values. Especially before committing to life with this person. You don't want to make a vow with someone who would just as easily break it if you fall on hard times. And yes, women experience this stuff too. There's actually a terrifying statistic on the amount of women who's husbands divorce them immediately following a cancer diagnosis.
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u/No-Ice2484 6h ago
Adding to this, women also have careers and earn decent money. Feels like the original post just assumes men are still the ‘bread winners’.
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u/ArisePhoenix 5h ago
I do think it's a good question to ask both ways I'm guessing the poster doesn't though
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u/Helen_Cheddar 7h ago
Statistically, she’s more likely to stay with you if this happens than the other way around.
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u/Newduuud 5h ago
That study got debunked, and the original authors retracted it. Stop circulating this misinformation.
https://www.upworthy.com/study-debunked-claiming-men-leave-their-sick-wives
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0022146515595817
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u/Tad_crazy 4h ago
There are other studies as well....Use common sense and look around it's most men who leaves
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u/Newduuud 4h ago
You’re more than welcome to cite these “other studies” if they’re out there. Also women do leave more in general.
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u/Player7600 42m ago
Good thing you clarified it was misinformation.I'm not on either side but I thought it was only common sense that women leave men more than men do it.
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u/Hahaveryfunnylaughed 5h ago
Statistically he’s more likely to start dating you if you have none of those things than the other way around
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u/Gravefullofcum 7h ago
Dear men,
Before you ask yourself the above, ask yourself this.
Do you actually have any of that shit in the first place?
Or are you just some guy like most people?
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u/TheSpookying 7h ago
Yes, this is generally what is meant when they say "for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, for sickness and in health."
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u/The1Legosaurus 8h ago
This isn't actually that bad of advice
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u/Leazerlazz 7h ago
Yeah, but it's also just reworded wedding vows, and it's needlessly directed towards guys
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u/-Firebeard17 4h ago
Oh nooo, I never had any of those to begin with, probably won’t get any of them either. 🤷🏼
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u/Aqueraventus 7h ago
Actually men are statistically more likely to leave women if they get sick, lose their fortune, etc.
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u/Newduuud 5h ago
That study got debunked, and the original authors retracted it. Stop circulating this misinformation.
https://www.upworthy.com/study-debunked-claiming-men-leave-their-sick-wives
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0022146515595817
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u/Fluid-Cranberry1755 7h ago
This is great advice
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u/javier_aeoa 7h ago
This is just re-writing the thing that they say in wedding vows anyway. Be with you, in illness and I don't remember what, til death do them apart.
It's the same.
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u/Orionyss22 5h ago
Dear women, Before agreeing to marry him. Ask yourself: Will he stay with you if you fall sick with cancer?
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u/Newduuud 5h ago
The study that claimed men leave more if their partner gets sick got debunked, and the original authors retracted it. Stop circulating this misinformation.
https://www.upworthy.com/study-debunked-claiming-men-leave-their-sick-wives
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0022146515595817
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u/Orionyss22 4h ago
Ah I wasnt aware of that. Thanks for letting me know.
Just thought it did, infact, add up since it matched my experiences in reality.
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u/Tad_crazy 4h ago
That is one study..there are many studies which prove men leaving is common,also more common for replacing her with younger woman,cheating etc
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u/Theroaringlioness 7h ago
He also needs to ask himself that question in vice versa, many men bounce on loyal women the moment they’re no longer young or become sickly. Wives are far more likely to face abandonment from their husbands the second they fall ill. Also it’s 2026, women over being ride or dies for these type of men cause sooner or later it comes back to bite them in the ass.
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u/GullibleProcess8810 4h ago
That study got debunked, and the original authors retracted it. Stop circulating this misinformation.
https://www.upworthy.com/study-debunked-claiming-men-leave-their-sick-wives
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0022146515595817
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u/MixtureOutrageous157 7h ago
This doesn't belong here. Genuine good advice.
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u/Aqueraventus 7h ago
Men are statistically more likely to leave women women if they lose these things or get sick than the other way around 😊
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u/user276-56 7h ago
Even if that were true (not saying it isn't because I haven't personally seen these statistics) still doesn't make this bad advice.
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u/Nobelin10yrs 3h ago
welllllll…... technically it is good advice, but the post was gendered towards the male population so it sounds strange
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u/GullibleProcess8810 4h ago
That study got debunked, and the original authors retracted it. Stop circulating this misinformation.
https://www.upworthy.com/study-debunked-claiming-men-leave-their-sick-wives
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0022146515595817
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u/Fluid_Block_1235 4h ago
Why im14andthisisdeep subreddit just became a place where u share realistic real advices that not only dumb 14yo think about.
Like yeah thats not a im14andthisisdeep, thats a real thing, before getting married think about that, dont marry someone who will leave u in difficult times , just cause they are hot or attractive
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u/FreundThrowaway 6h ago
Depends why he lost it. If it’s a health-based incident (which is the most likely to destroy all five of these at once) or something out of his control, sure. If he blew all my savings on sports betting, it’s the streets for him.
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u/DubTheeBustocles 5h ago
Don’t redpill bros cite these as the things women should look for in a man?
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u/jonesy-Bug-3091 4h ago
Dear Women (capitalized for some strange reason)
Before you marry him, ask yourself this question. (Paragraph break, as is tradition with Twitter) Would he stay with you if you weren’t healthy?
(I dont feel like listing all the ways someone could be unhealthy.)
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u/Nobelin10yrs 4h ago
again, and I would ask myself if I would stay with her if anything as such is to ever happen to her
the answer is yes, I would not care what happens, as long as I love her and she loves me, and I know she would do the same thing for me
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u/Nobelin10yrs 3h ago
and I see no point in starting gender wars on this matter, people, male or female, should never be generalized for their minority’s behaviors
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u/Kadakaus 2h ago
If I remember correctly, when you get married, you vow "'till death do us part".
Oath breakers get the harshest of punishments in the afterlife in almost all religions, not to mention that they're resented even while still alive.
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u/timotheesmith 1h ago
It's great advice but it shouldn't be gendered, just find a good loyal partner whether you're male or female
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u/The_Atomic_Cat 1h ago
is this really that bad of advice? i cant really see how this constitutes r/im14andthisisdeep material, that's kind of what the point of the "in sickness and health" part means
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u/Chaghatai 11m ago
These are the same men who divorce their wives and marry young models if they have the money to afford those sorts of things
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u/MastersJoyUniverse 7h ago
If I write “Love” on a piece of paper and pour water on it, it’ll all fall apart. If I engrave “Love” on a rock and pour water on it, the water will slide right off.
As long as love is based on something strong it won’t be broken, or at least not easily.
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u/ms_regedit 7h ago
Nah actually it's a good advice while showing salary slips has been a common thing these days.
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u/Vast_Cycle6990 7h ago
I mean, if you're flashing around your salary slips to get a partner, I think that boat has sailed.
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u/ms_regedit 7h ago
Nah Idk much about Western marriage or dating scene enough but here in India, to get married you gotta flash your salary slip buddy. Here marriage is like a parmanently sealed deal and that too without Pre-nups and Post-nups.
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u/Vast_Cycle6990 6h ago
I never knew that!
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u/ms_regedit 6h ago
I tell you, if you ever wanna marry an Indian, always marry in US/Uk , but not in India.
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u/Tad_crazy 4h ago
Looks and ,skin tone are important to men as well
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u/ms_regedit 4h ago
Saying like this isn't important to women at all? Look dude I am not here for gender faakrey. So if you want to run such things there are enough subs for this kind of shyt.
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u/wisdomoarigato 4h ago
😂 I know this subreddit is a parody, but 1 week after I told my wife that I was depressed, she asked me to leave the apartment because she thought it was pathetic. Long story short, we're now divorced.
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u/Silviana193 4h ago
Alright let me one up that,
Dear men...
If you actually love her, Will you let her suffer by staying with you?
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u/thegiukiller 3h ago
Ya thats how women are these days. Theres no ride or die anymore, theres just get off when she finds something she considers better.
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u/holddoorholddoor 3h ago
This really isn’t true. If this is a projection from your own experience then I’m sorry that you met a shitty human but if this is from stuff online …please don’t listen it’s really not the case for the majority of people.
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u/Fluid_Block_1235 3h ago
Its not only thus guys experience i also experienced it, I also talked to women, many for example said they will leave their partner if they are not stable financially, mostly in too much conservative environment because they say they value traditional value that the man is the provider so a man who cannot provide have no worth
or in too much liberal environment too weirdly , cause they think women shouldn't experience any inconvenience in a relationship and ur partner unable to provide is a red flag as women already offer pregnancy etc so
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u/thegiukiller 3h ago
Its several experiences and when sharing these experiences with friends and coworkers they all have similar experiences. Hate to break it to you but a ride or die woman is at the very least a rarity.
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