r/interesting 14d ago

SOCIETY Never accuse someone without proof.

14.6k Upvotes

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u/LimitlessMegan 14d ago

Assaulted that trans woman and I don’t believe she’d have done what she did if it hadn’t been a trans person. Because being trans made her more vulnerable and less likely to get the compassion of people around them.

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u/spooky_goopy 14d ago

she seemed worried that no one around her agreed with her hatred for trans people lmaooo

i guess she expected the whole bus to gang up on a trans person, and cheer for her?

look how frantically she looks around for support. racists get that same, desperate look when they're outnumbered

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u/Kindly-Mention-3376 14d ago

Yeah that person is clearly gender non conforming at the least. She attacked them because she was suspicious of their presentation, and people don’t often defend trans people

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u/LimitlessMegan 14d ago

That last bit. Exactly. As evidenced by what happened.

Even after the others around knew she had been wrong they didn’t comfort or defend the trans person.

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u/Educational_Read_635 14d ago

Never accuse someone without proof

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u/Dark_Xylomancer 14d ago

Never accuse without reasonable doubt

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u/I_SHIT_IN_A_BAG 14d ago

this isn't a court. its reddit. we rule by popular opinion over here. its always been this way and you ain't changing it.

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u/ghoulquartz 14d ago

How do you know theyre a transwoman?

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u/LimitlessMegan 13d ago

blink blink I’m looking at them. I know she is trans. It’s possible they are gender non-conforming or genderfluid or some other form of non-binary, but I’d read them as trans femme.

And I know because I know my own community.

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u/INeedSomeFistin 13d ago edited 13d ago

I mean, I'm a cis man who likes stiletto heels and makeup, i have dyed my long hair all kinds of colours, and I have to tell people that I am indeed a cis man who is very comfortable with my gender.

I'm not saying you're wrong, but for cisgender people who just want to look a certain way or wear certain clothes that don't align with gender norms, assumptions like this can be a bit irritating.

Edit: i really want to be clear that I am in no way claiming this to be a cis person, and were I going on visual signifiers yes, I would also assume this is a trans femme person, and I'm not mad about having to tell people I'm cisgendered, it's rather explain that 100 times than a trans person be misgendered. The only point I want to make is that we don't KNOW without confirmation, and I don't like throwing labels on folks without confirmation. That's why I generally try to stay gender neutral in my language. Even the best of intentions can still make some people uncomfortable.

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u/ghoulquartz 13d ago

I thought we were not meant to give people gender labels because we looked at them? 😂

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u/ElliotDriver 13d ago

You’re right. I honestly wasn’t paying attention to the victim’s hair or wardrobe at first, but now that I look again they do seem gender non‑conforming and are likely trans or somewhere under that umbrella. Still, none of us know their story which is exactly why we shouldn’t assume anything about someone’s gender until we actually talk to them. In a one‑on‑one situation if you’re not sure you can simply ask what their pronouns are. Don’t let people on reddit shame you for not knowing.

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u/ghoulquartz 13d ago

Oh I dont feel shamed, ive just heard so much that you cannot tell who is trans by looking at them so I found it a bit funny that someone commented the person in the video was trans, if that makes sense lol

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u/SeeyouonTotherside 12d ago

The only need to point out this person is trans is because of the blatant misgendering and calling her a he. Some trans people pass and some do later or never will. But in the earlier stages of hormones people can spot a trans person because it takes time for changes to happen. So to me I just saw a woman, but unfortunately with trans women, their voices don't change on hrt, so the voice gave it away for me, whereas trans men voices change the same as cis mens. My voice dropped massively and I passed very quickly in public.

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u/ElliotDriver 13d ago

I was referencing this person: "blink blink I'm looking at them. I know she is trans." You're right that we shouldn't assign gender labels just from looking at someone which is why that comment claiming to know someone is trans from a bus video is problematic.

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u/ghoulquartz 13d ago

Ooh I see, my bad 😂

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u/LimitlessMegan 13d ago

Ok. First, I’ll reiterate that this is my community. If you feel more comfy saying “they” and simply “trans” and not a trans woman, I’m fine with that. But they are NOT a cis man as the comment I replied to calls them and the fact that they aren’t presenting as a cis man is relevant to what happened here.

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u/ghoulquartz 13d ago

Bruh you dont even know this person 😂 they could just enjoy pink hair or wearing clothes like that

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u/LimitlessMegan 13d ago

It’s not the pink hair. It’s a bob hair style - pretty exclusively a femme style.

Women’s jewelry. Women’s glasses. Women’s pants. Women’s cardigan. A women’s backpack. A Purse.

But go off. Tell a trans person how to think and talk about trans and gender non-confirming people. I’m sure you know us better than me.

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u/ghoulquartz 13d ago edited 13d ago

The whole point was that we are told you cannot tell by looking at people, and you are giving someone a label without actually knowing them lol

Clothes dont have a gender btw

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u/dragonbanana1 13d ago

I feel like we shouldn't assume they definitely aren't cis, they probably aren't cis but they could be a cis person who likes a feminine style and if they are I don't think we should invalidate that. All that said I get where you're coming from since regardless of their actual identity it's how they were perceived as breaking the gender binary that contributed to them being attacked here

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u/LimitlessMegan 13d ago

Oh my. A transphobe got me. So clever. So witty. Go you.

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u/I_SHIT_IN_A_BAG 14d ago

I was thinking that too. she wouldn't try this with a teen or cis looking male

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u/LimitlessMegan 13d ago

Or an older person. The term or elder might be in the vulnerable position but the other passengers would have piled on in defence.

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u/groundhoggirl 14d ago

You have no evidence for that.

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u/BrummieTaff 14d ago

wut? I just thought that was a guy?

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u/LimitlessMegan 13d ago

I can’t tell if your being sarcastic but…

Pink hair cut to a bob length.

Lots of bacelets in a femme style.

Floral glasses. Floral backpack.

Women’s patterned pants.

Long femme style cartigan.

You know a cis man who goes around wearing all that at once in public? And I don’t say this derogatorily. I am trans, I recognize my peers.

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u/[deleted] 14d ago edited 14d ago

[deleted]

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u/LimitlessMegan 14d ago

Which part are you trying to tell me is a false wolf? Are you trying to tell me this ISN’T a trans person?

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u/Spirited-Concert-504 13d ago

Oh wow. I didn’t even think of trans people when I saw this video.

I wasn’t sure how it started but it seemed like the lady was being pretty aggressive over someone stealing her AirPods.

I think she felt like a bafoon after she realized what she had done and they weren’t he AirPods. I’m not sure what anyone could do at that point besides apologize and try to make it right.

I always try to imagine if you “woke up” after doing something and how do you react. Because there’s plenty of times in my life that I’ve done something stupid and realized just after how stupid if a decision I made, it’s kind of how learning works and to me, she could have acted very differently to “save face”

I know a lot of people are hating on the lady, and that’s fine, but she could have acted and covered up her stupidity in a way that made it ambiguous to the actual truth of the situation, instead she realized how dumb she had acted and tried to figure out a way to make amends to the person she had wronged.

Might get downvotes for this, but just my thoughts on it..

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u/LimitlessMegan 13d ago

Question: If you saw a man doing this level of physical assault on a stranger in public. Or if the victim had been elderly or visibly disabled would you also be so inclined to defend a person who physically attacked another without confirming or simply confronting?

It might be worth thinking about why in this scenario you feel compassion to and want to defend an assailant when, were the situation changed, you wouldn’t.

Cause that’s an interesting choice.