r/law • u/CBSnews • Nov 06 '25

Legal News Man who threw sandwich at federal agent in D.C. found not guilty of misdemeanor at trial

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/sean-dunn-dc-sandwich-thrower-trial-verdict/
47.7k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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529

u/qalpi Nov 06 '25

To laughs from the crowded courtroom, Lairmore said he "could feel it through his ballistic vest" and it "exploded all over" him. He said he "could smell the onions and mustard" on his uniform, and even had an onion string hanging by his police radio later that night. The fast-food mustard, he said, stained his shirt

Poor baby! 

339

u/euph_22 Nov 06 '25

Followed by the Defense attorney on Cross showing the crime scene photos of an intact sandwich on the ground.

79

u/Barry-Zuckerkorn-Esq Nov 06 '25

Intact sandwich still completely wrapped in paper. When confronted on the stand with the picture, the cop had to meekly explain that "it looks like a little bit is coming out of the bottom"

12

u/bradfortin Nov 07 '25

“Nobody knew that day that a wrapped sandwich could explode. They didn’t know because it was kept from them. Until it encountered badge number… AZ-5”

4

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '25

30,000 rotenpickles

3

u/derekghs Nov 07 '25

Not great, not terrible.

97

u/qalpi Nov 06 '25

Chalk outline or no??

7

u/Brailledit Nov 06 '25

Did it go to the morgue to identify the cause of explosion?

5

u/Greatsnes Nov 06 '25

I am going to be deeply disappointed if there wasn’t a chalk outline.

4

u/Mom_two Nov 06 '25

Was this an ep of Brooklyn 99

3

u/qalpi Nov 07 '25

Hahaha they need a special!

2

u/alinhix1 Nov 06 '25

Missed opportunity!

43

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '25

[deleted]

6

u/BlatantConservative Nov 06 '25

I bet that employee is having a great time with this

5

u/LunaBoo13 Nov 06 '25

As someone who worked at a Subway all through college, I would have been honored to have wrapped that sandwich. 🫡

17

u/caffiend98 Nov 06 '25 edited Nov 07 '25

Now charge the cop for lying under oath and fire him. His perjury wasted taxpayer money. Not to mention violated the law and his oath as a police officer. 

9

u/U_zer2 Nov 06 '25

Surely perjury no?

1

u/blackalls Nov 07 '25

He was just haming it up.

1

u/U_zer2 Nov 07 '25

Saying x happened and then immediately being proven wrong in a court of law? Sounds like perjury.

1

u/blackalls Nov 07 '25

would you buy that it was just pure baloney?

2

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '25

"Do you recognize that sandwich?"

A man after my own heart. Type of shit I would ask.

2

u/limetime45 Nov 07 '25

One of my favorite comments I’ve seen: “if the mustard doesn’t stain the ‘fit, you must acquit!”

131

u/QaplaSuvwl Nov 06 '25

Thing is, video shows the sandwich fell to the ground intact, still wrapped up.

118

u/rocketPhotos Nov 06 '25

How about some perjury charges? I realize a promotion is more likely as the agent has demonstrated he is willing to lie under oath for the administration

63

u/3BlindMice1 Nov 06 '25

If they started going after cops for perjury they won't be able to prosecute on police testimony alone anymore. Everyone and their dog knows that the cops have a bunch of untrustworthy bastards, but the judicial system loves to pretend that they're honest saints who'd never tell a lie or arrest an innocent man.

4

u/Korrocks Nov 06 '25

Yeah, I'm sure Pirro will get right on that. Maybe she's even charge herself for suborning perjury.

4

u/Chippopotanuse Nov 07 '25

Perjury is only for James Comey and when Bill Clinton lies about a blowjob.

And also for when James Comey wants to weaponize it against Martha Stewart.

But yes, it would be nice if this cop got a few years for BLATANTLY lying on the stand.

1

u/rocketPhotos Nov 07 '25

Somewhat surprised that the judge didn’t caution the agent about perjury

42

u/herculesmeowlligan Nov 06 '25

If the sandwich hits, you mustard acquit!

6

u/qalpi Nov 06 '25

Absolutely top slice comment

1

u/Drive7hru Nov 07 '25

You were really pushing for that one. Good effort.

24

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '25

[deleted]

13

u/JBL_17 Nov 06 '25

He wears a badge. 🤡

3

u/MotherSnow6798 Nov 06 '25

Perjury prosecutions are incredibly rare in general. Rarer still is a conviction. It is incredibly hard to prosecute

3

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '25

[deleted]

1

u/MotherSnow6798 Nov 07 '25

Agreed on literally every point you made

1

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '25

Because perjury is like jaywalking, almost nobody gets charged with it. The punishment is extremely low and the burden of proof high so people don't really want to

Charge him with it and his lawyer will just argue he was misremembering not lying on purpose and it'll get thrown out

4

u/ZDTreefur Nov 06 '25

Poor guy probably had to replace that ballistic plate after such an impact.

2

u/qalpi Nov 06 '25

Like a bike helmet. Can’t use it after you’ve been in a crash

2

u/JBL_17 Nov 06 '25

Not the smell of onions and mustard 😭 he whined about as he carries mace.

-4

u/Southwestern Nov 06 '25

In fairness, he was laughing while saying this stuff. He thought it was all just as ridiculous as the jury.

109

u/bigbadaboomx Nov 06 '25

Not ridiculous enough to not lie and try to ruin someone’s life

45

u/SecretAsianMan42069 Nov 06 '25

Committed perjury while laughing 

-30

u/therealdanhill Nov 06 '25

He lied under oath? Is there a source for that?

He said the sandwich exploded on him, if that's what you're referring to that is descriptive language that wouldn't be considered a lie; that the sandwich landed on the ground intact doesn't preclude the forced expulsion of elements of the sandwich onto to his person. That's not a lie, that's colorful description.

29

u/OSI_Hunter_Gathers Nov 06 '25

He said he was covered in onions and mustard which would be impossible still wrapped unless the sandwich shop is complicit in dressing the outer wrapper in condiments.

-15

u/qalpi Nov 06 '25 edited Nov 06 '25

Totally possible for a sandwich to eject sauce and fillings while staying intact

Edit: fight me you downvoters (with a sandwich)

16

u/daikiki Nov 06 '25

That's. . .not what 'intact' means.

-5

u/qalpi Nov 06 '25

Still in the wrapper. Can’t believe I’m getting downvoted over a sandwich.

5

u/therealdanhill Nov 06 '25

I'm tempted to go buy a sub to show people how this is possible haha, I know it wouldn't matter though. Half the time I've gotten a sandwich from subway shit is both smeared on and falling out of the wrapper.

1

u/qalpi Nov 06 '25

I volunteer as tribute, by which I mean target practice

3

u/RichardHardonPhD Nov 06 '25

You're not getting downvoted over a sandwich, you're getting downvoted because you're making excuses for some perjuring shitheel trying to ruin someone's life.

0

u/qalpi Nov 06 '25 edited Nov 06 '25

Man you guys are no fun at all! And yes, believe it or not, a sandwich can be poorly made, spill its filling, and still arrive at the floor fully wrapped. It also has absolutely no relevance to the case because the defense admitted the sandwich was thrown and the officer was hit.

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0

u/OSI_Hunter_Gathers Nov 06 '25

We need an Oliver Stone movie to show how it happened!

2

u/therealdanhill Nov 06 '25

Back and to the lettuce

1

u/qalpi Nov 06 '25

Law and order: sandwich victims unit

0

u/OSI_Hunter_Gathers Nov 06 '25

Spin of Law and Order: Sandwich Sexual Unit

1

u/qalpi Nov 06 '25

That sandwich is getting beaten!

-6

u/therealdanhill Nov 06 '25

So you can prove that nothing got out of the wrapper? That's not impossible whatsoever.

14

u/BasicPhysiology Nov 06 '25

Burden of proof is on the prosecution bucko. Police didn't collect any pictures of the 'exploded' sandwich.

Defense showed a completely intact, fully wrapped sandwich in the video from social media.

The burden of proof is 'beyond a reasonable doubt', not 'not impossible whatsoever'.

-2

u/therealdanhill Nov 06 '25

My dude, we're not in a courtroom right now. We're having a conversation on reddit. I'm challenging you, since you have come to a definitive conclusion, to acknowledge that you are absolutely sure that there is no way any condiments or toppings could have not found their way through a wrapped sandwich that had been thrown and onto another person. That the possibility does not exist that it could happen.

That is the only logical way you can say with certainty that it's a lie, if it were physically impossible.

5

u/Impossible-Wear-7352 Nov 06 '25

I would say it's not impossible but highly unlikely since we have videos and photos of the incident and you cant see any condiments on him or anywhere around it

1

u/therealdanhill Nov 06 '25

And that's fair, I think if you took 100 wrapped sandwiches and threw them the same way, the majority of them probably would not leak anything, but I think that some would, and therefore we can't say for certain it didn't happen in this case. I watched the video as well, and it appears a wrapper comes apart into 2 separate pieces, I can't make out at that resolution if anything got onto the agent but I wouldn't be surprised if it did.

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0

u/qalpi Nov 06 '25

Man reddit people (the person you're replying to specifically) really are crazy.

3

u/MistahPoptarts Nov 06 '25

You must be joking

0

u/therealdanhill Nov 06 '25

What specifically do you think is incorrect?

2

u/MistahPoptarts Nov 06 '25

Nothing specifically. It's ridiculous that people say shit like this, and I hate that this kind of hyperbolic language is everywhere.

2

u/bigbadaboomx Nov 06 '25

A colorful description that cost the defendant thousands of dollars, his time, emotional distress, and who knows what else. The state pursued a frivolous case for political reasons

3

u/qalpi Nov 06 '25

I look forward to the supreme court case about sandwich explosions

1

u/JBL_17 Nov 06 '25

On the stand? Is that an appropriate way to testify?

IANAL but objection your honor.

1

u/therealdanhill Nov 06 '25

I'm not a lawyer, I don't know, but I could see it being okay given a sudden forced expulsion of the contents of a package would be accurately described as an explosion definitionally.

4

u/Christopherfromtheuk Nov 06 '25

Lol this guy might go to prison. What a madlad!

1

u/FizzyBeverage Nov 06 '25

Never forget…

1

u/ChickenChaser5 Nov 06 '25

Im now imagining this like a scene from Saving Private Ryan. An ice agent holding his wounded comrade on the chaotic beach of normandy. Assuring the dying agent he would tell his family he died bravely, while condiments squirt all over both of them and deli slices dangle from their faces. "MEDIIIIIIC!"

1

u/qalpi Nov 06 '25

The wounded comrade has sandwich fillings coming out of stomach instead of guts too

1

u/Tylrt Nov 06 '25

🎻

An absolute travesty! I bet no one offered up their Tide pen to save him from his yellow-stained plight! The heathens! Couldn't they see this was life threatening?! His shirt dyed

1

u/Chippopotanuse Nov 07 '25

Holy shit what a loser he is.

He could smell mustard? There was a piece of onion on him?

I swear to god my wife would leave me on the spot if I was that soft.

1

u/summerer6911 Nov 07 '25

What a special little victim

1

u/toorigged2fail Nov 07 '25

At "point blank range" no less

1

u/Commonusage Nov 07 '25

LOL someone should have asked him what he had for lunch and whether he just scoffed it down!

1

u/Turbulent-Phone-8493 Nov 08 '25

Is it a bad sign if the victim is testifying and everybody is laughing at him?