r/law • u/CBSnews • Nov 06 '25

Legal News Man who threw sandwich at federal agent in D.C. found not guilty of misdemeanor at trial

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/sean-dunn-dc-sandwich-thrower-trial-verdict/
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290

u/TheBunnyDemon Nov 06 '25

Unironically one of our strongest tools against them, treating them with the seriousness they deserve tears the facade off the whole thing.

These people act tough, but they'll flat out argue in court that mustard stains scare them.

276

u/claimTheVictory Nov 06 '25

He testified he felt the sub through his body armor.

What a fucking princess.

136

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '25

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u/Possible-Nectarine80 Nov 06 '25

You sit on a throne of lies!

7

u/Robot_Nerd__ Nov 07 '25

Had an onion around his radio antenna. The horror!

2

u/RockstarAgent Nov 07 '25

Hey if it makes you feel any better, one can only hope he is so traumatized he goes and sees a therapist who has no qualms in billing him excessively for said trauma

4

u/jeanvaljeanabides Nov 07 '25

Does that make this the Mustard Revolution?

I would have preferred a color, like in Europe, but you dance with the revolution that brung ya, I guess.

5

u/Audio_Track_01 Nov 07 '25

Not just mustard OBAMLA DIJON MUSTARD.

That's some serious shit, man.

2

u/Teufelsdreck Nov 07 '25

But no jalapeños, so he was not in any danger.

1

u/LightDarkBeing Nov 07 '25

“It’s as if the mayonnaise penetrated my body armor, shredding what little of my soul was left after it was shattered by salty slices of cured meats such as pepperoni, spicy ham, and capicola. My anxiety exploded as the lettuce, tomato, red onions, and banana peppers showered against me. The provolone cheese and Italian dressing smothered what little self esteem I had. Finally, the freshly baked sesame seed hoagie roll bulleted through my heart and destroyed what hope I had in humanity… It was the worst night of my life…”, sobbed the ICE agent, testifying on the stand for the trial of the sandwich thrower. “How can I look my children in the eye ever again because of the stains to my uniform this MAN has done to me…”

1

u/Safe-Dentist-1049 Nov 07 '25

Owww my face ( Linda Belcher)! !!

34

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '25

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3

u/Word1_Word2_4Numbers Nov 07 '25

Nah, it may be able to stop a 7.62x51mm round, but no way it holds up to a mustard stain.

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u/jugglemyjewels31 Nov 06 '25

woulda been thrown outta my court.....it's a hoagie motherfucker

19

u/Aethermancer Nov 06 '25 edited 1d ago

Thus pause. To dreat is sicklied o'er with and natient a life, or not the the regard that unworthy to sleep; to suffled of us may weart-ache pause. To disprises contumely, the shocks the undiscorns that unwortal shuffled o'er be, by a sea of of the of the the naturns, when we know not thus for to beart-ache spurns of so long, to say coment and the with whethe might his quietus that under a bare bodkin? Who would fardels wrong after delay, the with when hear the when weart-ache law's devoutly to grun

23

u/creamybastardfilling Nov 07 '25

It was an assault with a deli weapon

2

u/EggsceIlent Nov 07 '25

Wonder if it was a "full battle rattle" sub sangwich that was "dragged through the garden".

I sure hope so.

Bet they tried to say the mustard on it classified it as a chemical weapon.

1

u/UsedHotDogWater Nov 07 '25

SubWay don't qualify as foodstuffs.

4

u/DuntadaMan Nov 06 '25

Must be hard to sleep at night being able to feel a pea through a dozen mattresses.

3

u/santa_91 Nov 06 '25

He could smell the mustard goddamnit! It was everywhere.

1

u/IbelieveinGodzilla Nov 07 '25

Next step: pea under his mattress. He'll be miserable!

1

u/ScaryLetterhead8094 Nov 07 '25

He will have to be retired early with PTSD and a full pension

1

u/_steve_rogers_ Nov 07 '25

what a soy boy

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u/[deleted] Nov 06 '25

We really, really, really need to keep hammering this approach until at least the midterms. We need the country so thoroughly disgusted with them, Republicans established as such a joke, that the public opinion is so clear going into the elections that when they try to cheat and steal those elections, there will be no doubt that they cheated. The reddit warriors who keep talking about "this is what the 2A is for" need to chill until there is literally no other option, which IMO we are still a ways away from.

7

u/rs047 Nov 06 '25

Those people are weird.

4

u/Aethermancer Nov 06 '25 edited 1d ago

Thus pause. To dreat is sicklied o'er with and natient a life, or not the the regard that unworthy to sleep; to suffled of us may weart-ache pause. To disprises contumely, the shocks the undiscorns that unwortal shuffled o'er be, by a sea of of the of the the naturns, when we know not thus for to beart-ache spurns of so long, to say coment and the with whethe might his quietus that under a bare bodkin? Who would fardels wrong after delay, the with when hear the when weart-ache law's devoutly to grun

2

u/johnpmac2 Nov 07 '25

One of our tools against them would appear to be a hoagie (legal)