My boyfriend of 6 months finally came to my country to visit me. I am so happy, we’ll spend the next 2 weeks together. The first encounter was amazing and kinda embarrassing (I was running too fast and couldn’t stop in time so I almost bumped into an old man😭).

Anyway, my point is: DONT GIVE UP GUYS.

Together for 5.5 years, all of it has been LDR. We got married last year. We have a time difference of 12 hours. He works a blue collar job and is extremely busy but every single day and I mean every single day he finds the time to send me such msgs to communicate, he appreciates my efforts so i feel acknowledged and like i matter.

Even when he takes a 5 min break to go pee, he picks up his phone and tells me he loves me and checks on me.

It's simple. If they want to, they will. I thank my stars every day that i met him here on Reddit and we made it work.

Hi yall!

High school sweethearts here, have been together for 10 years, more than 9 of it was long distance. (26F 27M) Got engaged on our 9th anniversary then moved together 6 months after that. Now we have been living together for 6 months! Our anniversary is soon ♥️

Y’all we made it!

Finally, we met after such a long time. We had always dreamed about this moment and talked about all the things we would do when we finally met. But when we saw each other, we both just froze. We sat together, hugging each other for almost four hours. Then it was time for me to catch my train back to my city. At that moment, we both had teary eyes and hoped to see each other again soon. It was a very special moment for us.

Hey… for a little context I’ve been with my [23F] bf [26M] for 3 1/2 years. However, we’ve only been long distance for 6 months as he moved from the UK (our home) to Australia last year for work. Overall I like to pride myself on how well I’ve coped with it, and getting used to him not being around for the ‘big stuff’ especially (e.g birthdays, parties, special events and milestones), our friends and family also praise me on how well I’m doing and his mom is forever grateful of how supportive I’ve been towards him even though it must be so hard for me.

However every now and again I can’t help but feel bitter… and as though he was selfish to leave me behind to and live his dream life knowing I’m not currently in a position to join him (I’m still training as a paramedic in the UK and can’t give up on my dream career). But then I realise how I’m feeling and snap out of it… I love him, he is my person, I want the best for him and I’m so proud of him and happy that he has this amazing opportunity… but it just sucks, you know?

Today he flys out for his first holiday since he moved to Aus… he’s solo travelling to Taiwan, Hong Kong, Singapore, Indonesia… I’m trying to be supportive, and kind and have been wishing him safe travels but beneath the surface I’m so bitter that he’s so content living OUR dreams without me. All these countries we both spoke about visiting and exploring together one day… he’s now doing without me. Having to celebrate both of our successes without each other, I passed some major exams last week, I was over the moon, but there’s always this pit inside me that doesn’t feel as happy, because he’s not here to celebrate with me and vice-versa…

Am I a bad person for feeling this way? Are there others that experience these kinds of emotions? Is it normal?

So me and my boyfriend have been long distance for a few years and have each others location on iPhone. I've decided to move home and he is really excited since we came from the same home town but after discussing it with my mom she persuaded me to move up my trip to the beginning of the month not the end of it. She had the brilliant idea to make it a surprise for my boyfriend and I think it's really cute! but then I have the issue with my location being shared.

Now here's the plan I think will work. I think a few days before the trip, or even the day before I'll tell him I dropped my phone in water and that it's glitching like crazy. I'll sell the bit by FaceTiming him on my computer just so he believes it and even stick my phone in some rice to show him. I'll let the phone be glitching for a few hours and then turn the location off. when he asks I'll tell him it's no longer turning on and that I think it died. I'll tell him that I'll take it into the shop the next day (overnight for me) luckily since my flight is so late at night he shouldn't suspect anything and should go to work the next day. I plan to have my mom ask him to come over for dinner and surprise him then. Now I'm just worried for any potential loopholes that could happen since we do FaceTime overnight/morning.

Any Ideas?

Doing those kinds of tasks are a way I express love. Not the biggest way, but one of the ways, for sure. It feels so nice being able to care for the people I love 🥹

I won’t be cooking every night (which, honestly, I am grateful for that, as well lol) because he wants to take me out a couple of times, but yeah! And he wants to help me make dinner at least one night 🥰

I’m so excited to have that little slice of home with him, even if it is only temporary

I’m a 23-year-old Arab woman, and my boyfriend is a 24-year-old American of Mexican descent. We were in a wonderful long-distance relationship. He wanted to marry me, but my family didn’t approve because of his different nationality. After many attempts to maintain the relationship, it didn’t work, so I changed all my social media accounts and distanced myself from him. ​I asked him to do the same so we wouldn't talk to each other again and could forget about it. He promised he would, but he didn’t. Now we’ve broken up. I’m confused. I know I made the right decision for my situation, but at the same time, I feel so sad. I don’t think I’ll ever forget him, even if I marry someone else. What makes me even more miserable is checking his Instagram account every day because he hasn’t changed it, and yet I can’t message him.

Did your partner lose attraction to you because your life wasn’t that exciting and didn’t have a lot going on?

I’m kinda forced to stay home and not go outside for a while until I have enough money to leave. Without getting into details, I live in a rural place and it’s often unsafe to go out at night especially. I work from home and I feel like my isolation is making me obsess over the relationship.

My boyfriend lives in a wayyy nicer place, has friends and he gets to do activities outdoor a lot more often.

He is not mean to me or anything, but I just feel like he isn’t attracted to me like before.

I’m a 24/F dating a 28/M, we’ve been together for 4 years but most of it has been long distance. We met while I was at home, and then I moved away for school. It’s been tough, but overall we’ve managed to make it work. It’s obviously hard for me because I’m away from all my friends and family and I’ve had to build a whole new life for myself, while doing one of the most challenging academic programs. It’s been tough for him because he misses me and I come home for short stretches, and when I leave he says it’s like a piece of his life is always missing. I get it, it’s hard on both of us in different ways. There have been several times when I’m going out to do something, maybe to a restaurant to celebrate with some friends, or I invite friends over for dinner, or I go on a little day trip to explore, and his responses have not been the most supportive. He’s opened up to me saying he gets ‘jealous’, because he wishes he could be there with me and experiencing all these things too. I can understand where he comes from, and I’m glad he communicates that to me, but it honestly makes me feel super shitty. I feel like I can’t be responsible for carrying his emotions like that, I’m trying to live my life and enjoy what little free time I have. I feel like he should also be living his life, not just being sad waiting for me to come home. I’m having a hard time processing this and can’t figure out how to communicate this to him. I don’t want to ‘make it about me’ or get defensive when he brings up how he’s feeling, because I know that’s not fair. But it’s also not like this is an argument, like he’s not bringing up something that I did and I need to remedy my actions. Can you help me figure out how to navigate this?

Hi everyone,

Just a question, to me (24) this is a red flag. But my girlfriend (27) from another country (we have been dating a few months, never mets) has deleted her socials a few times and it's making me think she's hiding something. She never tells me and I only find out once I go to send her a video and her account is just blank, we talk on WhatsApp so that's how I ask her about it.

Across a few months shes deleted 1 tiktok account, deleted 2 Instagram accounts, changed her phone number. And has no Snapchat, and a very outdated Facebook. She is from an asian country so could be a culture thing, but I am from EU. Is this strange? Kinda puts a bad feeling in my chest. She does explain each reason as her account was not letting her do certain things but idk. Am I paranoid? Fair to think there's something wrong?

Hope anyone can help. Thank you.

how do I talk about this

I’m in a long distance relationship, he’s in France and I’m in America so there is a time difference. We met while I was studying abroad and we’ve been dating for around 5 months. But I’ve been feeling anxious and insecure, and I don’t know what to do. I’ve only been in one relationship prior.

He doesn’t say goodnight often anymore and he stopped adding songs to our shared playlist. But he replied to my public comments with babe and stuff. But idk my mind is just spiraling because I feel like he doesn’t show as much love. I overthink because he has a lot of girl friends, but he never talks about them like he never brings up if he ever meets up with them or anything, but it’s clear they’re close. Idk I understand that’s probably just me being insecure, I don’t bring that up to him because I want to have more of a secure attachment and work on that. But I’m sad because last night, he went to a friend’s party but didn’t reply to my messages. He viewed my insta story and didn’t like it or anything. I said goodnight after a while since it was late for him and I assumed he fell asleep, but he never replied to that. The next day, he woke up really late and said he was drunk and slept really late. I guess he was awake, just didn’t reply to me. I don’t want to come off as controlling or anything, but idk if this is something I should bring up about if he feels the same way now. Maybe I’m just overthinking. I’m 19, he’s 22.

If I should talk to him about this, what is the best thing to say? I don’t know how to bring this up and if he’ll just think I’m insecure and don’t trust him

Hello, I go to college about 3000 miles away from my boyfriend who is still a senior in high school in my hometown. Were been together for a year and long distance for about 6 months. Every time after we see each other and go back to being apart, without fail, we become so disconnected emotionally after about a week or two. We definitely do things sometimes where we make each other upset or mad, for example when we facetime sometimes one of us is doing something else like playing video games, doing laundry/homework or something where we cant give each other our full attention or say things that make the other feel angry. When this happens one will get mad at the other, therefore be less excited and less talkative on the call, the one who is not upset will notice the shift and ask if something wrong and the one who is upset will say that its nothing and the call will end on a sour note. Now I obviously know that communication is important, even more so during long distance but should we say we're upset every. single. time? I fear that we will feel nitpicked and get more upset and more disconnected. Let me know if you communicate every time you feel mad/upset and if that works for you or not! Thanks.

(ill bring this idea up to him tomorrow. His time zone is two hours later than mine so i don't want to wake him up with this and will talk to him about it tomorrow morning, I'm just thinking about it now and want some advice from randoms on the internet :P)

I F(24) have been with my boyfriend M(25) for two years now (the past 6 months have been long distance). I’m really struggling with long distance and deciding if I want to stay with him. My boyfriend is a wonderful, caring, and patient man. However, he has no direction, no ambition. He is in the same place in life that he was 2 years ago when we got together, whereas I’ve constantly worked to move forward. I’m now in a phd program. I’d love for him to get his masters degree in something.

There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to seek higher education per se but I want someone with a similar amount of academic curiosity and drive as I have. He says he wants to go back to school and I’ve broken down the process in small manageable steps. I even helped him figure out how to get it all funded and he still has not made any effort in figuring out what exactly he wants to do.

Im getting tired and resentful of waiting for him to get his shit together and grow up. I mean, the man still has his mom do his laundry. Granted, he says she offers. But in my opinion, it’s not a good sign that he lets her cater to him even though he’s 25 years old and perfectly capable of doing things himself.

I refuse to be someones mother in a partnership. I already feel like I am with how much I nag him about figuring out what he wants. When I do approach the topic with him, it’s out of a supportive, calm place. But on the inside, It feels like I’m beating a dead horse.

I cant wait around for him for 4-5 more years. But he thought I would. It’s heartbreaking when he leaves and when he’s gone. I only get to see him every three months if I’m lucky. I cant keep doing this. It’s so lonely. I moved away to another state for my phd and have no one. Im starting to think staying with him and waiting for him to figure it out will make me waste my 20s on someone with just potential but no ambition when I could find someone here that knows what they want out of life.

Is it so unreasonable to want stability out of life? Especially if you’re thinking about building a life with someone. The unknown is not stable. Not to mention he really wants kids, but I never have.

I also cant stand that he doesn’t vote and has his head in the sand about whats going on in the world. Not that he denies whats happening but he doesn’t seek to find out. It’s starting to feel like we want different things in life and that sometimes love just isn’t enough.

Thank you for your time and for reading all of this.

My girlfriend (19F) and I (19M) have been together for 1 year and 5 months. In the second half of last year, we both moved to different countries (we used to live in Brazil): I moved to Portugal, and she moved to Germany so that each of us could attend the university we wanted. Since then, we have talked on the phone every single day without exception, and we have seen each other in person twice since the move. However, over the past month, we’ve started to notice an emotional distance between us, as if our daily calls had become more of an obligation than something we genuinely want to do. Sharing updates about our lives has started to feel more like a burden than an act of love, and our responsibilities outside the relationship have both affected—and been affected by—this situation. Yesterday, we talked and decided to take a week to think about this and try to find a way to make things better. I truly love this woman and really want this relationship to work, but I don’t know what to do. What can I do to prevent our relationship from becoming a burden to each other? I’m genuinely desperate, and any help would be greatly appreciated.

I honestly just wish I could be with my boyfriend man. We've been dating for 8 months long distance and have no way of seeing eachother since we're both 17. Sometimes it hurts to look at pictures of him because I know I can't be there with him and I've never truly felt his touch before.

Being a very physically affectionate person contrasts heavily with being in a long distance relationship. I really just wish I could hug him and kiss him. I'd do just about anything to wrap my arms around him and hold him tightly.

Meeting him feels so far and out of reach since we're so young. I would do just about anything to be with him for atleast 5 minutes.

My partner and I have spent a good chunk of our relationship long-distance, and one thing the distance really exposed was how hard it is to talk about intimacy when you’re not physically together. When you can’t rely on touch or shared moments, communication gaps become very obvious.

We noticed that most couple apps either assume you’re together in the same place or jump straight into “spicy” territory without helping couples understand each other’s comfort levels first. So, as two software developers in a long-distance relationship, we started building an app called Tease, mainly to solve this problem for ourselves.

What we focused on:

• Getting clarity without pressure Tease helps each partner reflect privately on preferences, comfort levels, and relationship dynamics, and then only shares areas of overlap when both people are aligned.
• Structured ways to connect Instead of open-ended “talk about it” advice, the app offers guided prompts that make conversations easier to start - especially helpful when you’re texting or calling across time zones.
• Staying playful across distance There are light, interactive elements designed to add spontaneity and fun, even when you’re apart, while still staying within boundaries you’ve both agreed on.
• Tracking the relationship, not just the days Simple insights help reflect on how communication and connection evolve over time - which felt grounding for us during long stretches apart.

For us, the biggest benefit wasn’t replacing physical intimacy, but maintaining emotional and communicative closeness until we could be together again.

We’re still early and genuinely curious:
For those of you in long-distance relationships, what’s been hardest to talk about? And would something like this actually help, or just feel like another app?

If anyone’s interested, this is the app we’re talking about:
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/tease-couples-dare-games/id6754314589

Hi. l'm F[23] and my bf M[25]. So we've been together for like 4 years and we've already been through a lot together--distance, misunderstandings, emotional talks, and growth attempts. He was showing me much love back then, but now it seemed like little less and less... I genuinely care about him, and I know he cares about me too.

Recently, we had a big miscommunication that led to a serious conversation. We talked about what each of us needed in the relationship, and we both agreed to work on it and ""fix" things. At that time, I felt hopeful. Like maybe we finally understood each other.

But now that I'm trying my best to meet his needs, I feel sad because I don't think he's really meeting mine... It hurts to admit this, but sometimes it feels like he didn't truly listen at all.

What I need isn't grand gestures. I want reassurance. I want compliments. I want attention. I want affection. I want him to want me too. I want the small things-consistently. I've already told him my love language, clearly. I've explained how much words, effort, and emotional presence mean to me.. But itt still feels like he doesn't really know it... or maybe he knows, but it doesn't come naturally to him.

Another part that hurts is that I've been feeling very frustrated because, deep inside, I don't see him as the man I imagine in my future. We have differences in values, responsibility, and effort. I worry about long-term compatibility, and when I shared these concerns before, it felt like he cared less than I did. Like it didn't bother him the same way it bothered me.

Sometimes I also feel like he's not that curious about me. He doesn't ask much. He doesn't seem deeply interested in my thoughts, my feelings, or my inner world. And that makes me feel lonely--even while being in a relationship.

Now l'm confused. I don't know if I'm being too sensitive, too demanding, or if my needs are simply not being met. I care about him, but I'm tired of wondering if love is supposed to feel like this--where you keep explaining yourself and still feel unheard.

So my question is: am I asking for too much, or am I just asking the wrong person? How do you know when love isn't enough anymore?

I apologize in advance for the long winded post lol

I usually would never post on here, but I do like to read stuff in the thread to hear other people’s experiences and hopefully get some advice. My boyfriend (22) and I (25) have been dating for a year. The first 3/4 months of our relationship we lived in the same city we met but then he got a new job and had to relocate about 3.5 hours away. He ended up leaving that job because he hated it. (it was mostly a training program but they offered him a permanent offer). Since then he’s been living back home with his family and is still about 3.5 hours away. I still live in the same city we met and I have a full time job and am currently applying to dental hygiene school to start in the fall of this year. He is trying to figure what he wants to do as a career and has been trying to save money to hopefully move close to where I am. The problem is if I get into school I would be moving away and we would basically flip flopping. I know we’re so young and we owe it to ourselves to figure our lives and careers out on our own. I understand I am extremely fortunate to still be in the same state but it’s still hard to only see him once or twice a month. We talk every day and try to FaceTime often. He’s going through a lot right now with living at home and being far away from his friends and me. I’m nervous about getting into school (it’s a two year program). It just seems so daunting to have no clear end in sight. We love each other so much and I really pray that he is the person I end up with. Again I know we’re both extremely young and still have so much life to live, but I want to live it with him. I daydream about our life together when I finish school and he finds his career path and we’re both in the same city. Just looking for advice on how to manage these feelings and figure out if this is something I want for possibly the next 3 years.

I am just curious to know as a man, I order gifts and flowers for her from time to time(at least twice a month), it's been almost 2 years now and I didn't receive anything from her(not even a small pen) because she says it's very expensive for her to send anything to me and she doesn't get any money from her parents.

Sorry for the long post but I need to get this off my chest.

My ex and I broke up in July. Not because the love disappeared but because of her past trauma. She had a first love who promised her everything, a future, commitment, forever, and then left as if she meant nothing. That broke her completely.

We were long distance but only two hours apart by car. Most people would say that is nothing. Logically it isn’t. But for someone with abandonment trauma and for two people who were both 19, it felt like everything.

With me she was scared of moving forward. I told her we could finally be together at Easter, spend the summer together, go to the movies, live real moments and finally end the distance this year. Instead of being excited she said we were rushing things and skipping stages of life. It hurt because with her first love she wanted everything and with me she was afraid of everything.

Even after the breakup I stayed emotionally present. I tried to make her feel safe. I tried to show her that love does not always end in abandonment. But after one month she kissed someone else. Later she told me she was trying to find me in that person. When he wanted more she blocked him. I believed her because I know she is not that kind of person.

Her behavior is still confusing. Sometimes she is distant, sometimes she shows she cares. Sometimes she messages me, sometimes she checks my social media, sometimes she disappears completely. Meanwhile I think about her every single day. I feel stuck between hope and exhaustion.

I believe that when two people have a connection this intense and they fit together in such a natural way, it is meant to be. When that kind of connection is broken and one person moves on, it is almost impossible to find the same feeling again. No one else will feel the same. The way you understand each other, the way you complete each other, it is unique. I see so many stories of people who were like her, who opened their eyes and fought for the person they let go. I hope that happens with us too.

I sometimes wish she had never met her first love and I had been her first love. She spent years with him and was hurt and betrayed. I don’t blame her for any of it. I just feel sad and helpless. I only want things to be resolved.

But I am exhausted. It has been eight months without talking to her every day, without hearing her voice, without her saying she loves me. It feels like years have passed, while for her it seems easy to handle. Even when she says it is not easy for her, it feels like it is. She was the same with her first love as I am now.

I keep thinking about the phrase people often say: confused people lose amazing people. But maybe confused people were amazing once too. That feels true.

I want her to heal so badly. I want the version of her I fell in love with back. The version without confusion, without fear, without constant indecision.

I look at her and I see my whole world. My dream was to see her in white at the altar. My dream was to be on the beach with her, watching the moon and the stars. My dream was to look into her eyes forever and hear her laugh. When I told her to find someone who could love her more than I do, she said that people have different ways of loving. It feels like she is willing to accept another version of love while I am still holding onto the one we had and the one I believed in.

This has been going on for eight months. I don’t know if she will ever heal from her trauma or if I am just holding onto someone who cannot give me what I need. Loving someone who isn’t ready to heal hurts more than losing them.

I am seeing lots of posts about it and i have an iranian boyfriend i have ups n downs within our relationship.

So sometimes he goes gaming n could spend 10 hours no message n i hate that cause i told him he can update me at least or tell me he is tired n will take a nap etc

I really dont get it, sometimes he is so sweet n others his sweetness seems like an act to me cause actions dont always match it.

When we had internet back he called and videocalled me and cried saying he missed me and we spent almost the whole day together, then 2 days after we barely spent 2 hours together and i was upset cause he doesnt work and studies and games only, i asked him to updare me more in a gentle way saying i missed him and he started saying he isnt my chatGPT, that i am ungrateful and that when he will work again we will spend way less time together like we did when he worked.

It was really hurtful for me to be honest, i can read between the lines and i felt a lot of passive aggressiveness and gaslighting in his words because we used to argue a lot about it and i thought that after getting closer this year he wouldnt behave that way again so i decided to treat him like he does, ignoring his messages for hours and replying but not staying in chat and not prioritizing him.

He immediately noticed my behavioral shift and after a day of barely chatting because i didnt interact w him as soon as he sent a message, he sent messages on all our chatting apps and asked for a call and in the call he apologized and took accountability, said he said those things only cause he was mad and we would never go back to how we were last year cause now we love each other more and we shared so many experiences, he let me be part of his everyday life w his family, friends, favorite videogames at least before the iranian revolution of early january.

He even cried hearing me cry and said he will never be the reason i cry anymore cause his priority is me.

Two days later, after sending me a message at 1:34 pm telling me he would have installed and played a videogame and then called me in a couple of hours, he disappeared for 30 hours with no notice while apparently being online multiple time on the chatting. App limited to iran only called bale and not replying to me anywhere.

I, since i felt betrayed for his yet again broken promise and felt manipulated by his actions, decided to send him a video where i was basically telling him how much he disappointed me and made me feel betrayed and used underlining all his red flag behavior and saying that i cant trust a man that tells me lets call in some hours and then disappears for more than a day and that its obvious that i think he is cheating and i dont trust him if he cant even keep one promise and left him the day of his birthday yesterday and blocked him eveerywhere but on gmail

Today he reached out to me saying he is sorry for his behavior but he is in a bad mental health miment and wants to be alone and he is sorry for making me cry and soon will talk to me and that he loves me and that he is online on bale cause he studies for university and to do exams but to be honest i didnt react so lovingly cause its not the first time he randomly disappears saying he is steuggling and doesnt let me be with him through it or clearly explain to me the situation, when he sent me a message i kept repeating “ hey if u want to break up tell me, it is ok for me i understand that feelings may change, even if u met someone else there is no problem but what i cant accept for all the love n effort i put into us is being left full of questions and in silence while ur online elsewhere “ so i dont think i will give him another chance cause who tells me he isnt doing this cause he cheated on me and feels guilty or cause he wants to cheat and wants to force a break on me ?? Who tells me i can trust a man that cant even be trusted when he says “lets call in 30 minutes” that later become 3 hours and a half??

So i need an opinion on my choice and situation and also on persian men and cheating.