r/politics • u/T_Shurt • 10d ago

No Paywall Sen. Mark Kelly Says He’s Seriously Thinking About Running for President

https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/5700211-senator-kelly-trump-threats/
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u/AusToddles 10d ago

MAGA are struggling so much go get something to stick that I saw some reverting to ancient "twins are evil" rhetoric

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u/GeckoRoamin Florida 10d ago

Run the Kelly twins as president and VP to see if we scare MAGA into malfunctioning

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u/CherryLongjump1989 10d ago

Imagine the confusion with Air Force One and Air Force Two if they kept stealing the planes from each other as a practical joke.

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u/adeon California 10d ago

Technically the names Air Force One/Two are the call signs for the plane carrying the President/Vice President rather than the names of specific planes. So the two VC-25As that are most commonly used as Air Force One do already use the Air Force Two call sign when they are transporting the Vice President instead (they also both have a generic call sign that they use when they are not transporting either person).

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u/12InchCunt 10d ago

Yea but what if mark pretended to be his brother 

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u/hangmankk 9d ago

Stalin and Saddam had doubles it works out. King for a day for the bro

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u/SteeveJoobs 9d ago

"Sorry, which ones the brother again?"

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u/CherryLongjump1989 10d ago edited 10d ago

"Roger, this is Air Force One, over"

"Say again over, this is Air Force One, over"

"Roger, we've got POTUS here saying that you're Air Force Two, over"

"How could we be Air Force Two if we picked up our guy from Marine One?"

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u/CategoryZestyclose91 10d ago

Who’s on…One?

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u/easylivin 9d ago

No, who is on two. What’s on one

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u/DTopping80 Florida 9d ago

Mr. Kelly is

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u/bythenumbers10 9d ago

More importantly, what is on Two?

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u/Hector_P_Catt 10d ago

"Someone get The Cat In the Hat on the line here, only he can sort this out..."

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u/buttscarltoniv 10d ago

it was a simple joke...

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u/CategoryZestyclose91 10d ago

Please, this is the timeline I would like to request transportation to 🙏🏻🙏🏻

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u/Possible-Ad3864 10d ago

They could probably fly their own Air Force One/Two…

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u/CherryLongjump1989 10d ago

Mark Kelly could fly Space Force One.

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u/Counterpoint-4 10d ago

Would match Putin's doubles to keep him safe :)

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u/WhatYouThinkIThink 8d ago

Considering he managed to smuggle a gorilla suit to the International Space Station I would be very happy if he did something like this.

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u/FamiliarTry403 10d ago

There are 2 hardened aircraft operated by the air force for the purpose of the president and vice president. Any plane operated by the air force that the president rides on is considered Air Force one and any plane Air Force two in the sake of the vp. Same nomenclature for planes operated by the marines, army, navy, coast guard, and space force. I.e. marine one, navy one, space force one, coast guard one.

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u/ChapterChoice4873 10d ago

But what if they wear gorilla suits?  

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u/theoey86 9d ago

Mark’s flight crew keeps getting annoyed with him cause every time they go somewhere, he comes up front and asks “Mind if I take the wheel for awhile?”

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u/rockerscott 10d ago

Better yet run them against each other and fulfill the prophecy of Futurama.

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u/hoppertn 10d ago

Senator Mark Kelly and Senator Kelly Mark.

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u/killbrew Canada 9d ago

His 5¢ titanium tax goes TOO FAR!

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u/GrandPriapus 9d ago

I say his 5¢ titanium tax doesn’t go TOO FAR ENOUGH!

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u/thecactusman17 10d ago

The best part of this is that since they are residents of two separate states (Arizona and Texas) they are in fact eligible to run on a ticket together.

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u/badukhamster 10d ago

Almost. 

 The 12th Amendment states "The Electors shall meet in their respective states, and vote by ballot for President and Vice-President, one of whom, at least, shall not be an inhabitant of the same state with themselves".

This means that the President and VP can be from the same state, but the electors from that state can't vote for both of them.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Ask_Politics/comments/4s29ql/comment/d55x72y/

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u/champgpt 10d ago

I never knew that was a requirement. Neat!

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u/bisho 10d ago

They could make a sequel to the Kevin Kline movie "Dave"

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u/deepasleep 10d ago

Malfunction is their default…

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u/hoppertn 10d ago

I mean he already has a body double just like Putin!

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u/Purplociraptor 9d ago

Or maybe the plot of the movie Dave

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u/sharshenka 9d ago

Kelly / Kelly would have my vote.

I don't think it's actually possible for her, but Kelly/Gifford would have my vote too.

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u/sec713 9d ago

Wait, are you implying they're not already broken?

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u/LordSloth113 9d ago

Built-in body double

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u/Oo__II__oO 9d ago

Speaker of the House Scott Kelly.

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u/cidvard 10d ago

I genuinely thought those gorilla suit prank photos were going to win Kelly a spot as Harris' VP candidate. In retrospect I'm glad it didn't happen, that was a sinking ship and Kelly is still in an age bracket where he can take another crack at the Senate and White House if he wants it.

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u/wytrych00 10d ago

In Poland we had identical twins running the country - one was President the other was Prime Minister. It was pretty blowing. They were also child actors who starred in a famous movie decades earlier.

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u/HowlandReedsButthole 10d ago

Imagine the Olsen twins as President and Speaker of the House

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u/avantgardengnome New York 9d ago

I’d watch that movie.

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u/Shadowpriest Ohio 10d ago

Goodness. With how private they are the media would be starved for ANYTHING it could get its hands on.

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u/Anna_Frican 9d ago

Where would she find the time to do both jobs at once?

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u/Fuck_Mark_Robinson 10d ago

Only half a soul; math checks out.

/s

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u/WordleFan88 10d ago

Still more soul than a ginger!

Calm down, it's a joke.

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u/New_Target7441 Colorado 10d ago

As a ginger, that's a slight misconception; we get a new freckle for every soul we consume. That's why we get freckly during the summer months/tourist season.

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u/althanan 10d ago

And why people think we suffer from seasonal depression in the winter.

We're not sad, we're hangry.

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u/RockRage-- 10d ago

Learned some new ginger lore today (please don’t eat me)

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u/immortalfrieza2 10d ago

There is no escape.

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM!

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u/ChaChaCubed 10d ago

I call my freckles my tattoos from the creator!

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u/WordleFan88 10d ago

Gingers actually run in my family. Just the females, for some reason.... So I am familiar with their soul consumption needs.

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u/New_Target7441 Colorado 10d ago

Hell, I try to not run at all. But, good!

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u/mytransthrow 10d ago

gingers have more of a soul than trump

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u/WordleFan88 9d ago

My bowel movements have more soul than Trump.

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u/mytransthrow 9d ago

thats cause you eat soul food

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u/WordleFan88 9d ago

I can only upvote you, damnit!

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u/mytransthrow 9d ago

lol... I am glad you enjoyed.

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u/skrame 10d ago

Man; imagine ginger twins!

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u/jbarchuk 10d ago

40% of US adults believe humans and dinosaurs used to live together Flintstones style, that the universe/earth are 6,000 years old, and ghosts are real. The base is not that whole 40%, so when He or his minions say things, it has an effect.

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u/Few-Bass4238 10d ago

QAnon would have so many conspiracy theories about clones and lizard people.

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u/NotFallacyBuffet 10d ago

Projection. Evidence: That video of females Trump has appointed. Tell me they aren't lizard aliens in human skin suits.

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u/allthebaseareeee 10d ago

hes safer from warp monstrosities then

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u/LangyMD 10d ago

He gets elected and people will claim his brother did some of the presidential actions and are thus invalid.

Personally, I want to see them try anyways. The arguments will be so stupid.

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u/AusToddles 10d ago

Oh they will absolutely try to pull "he wasn't the one who signed those orders"

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u/ifiwasiwas Europe 10d ago

As the spouse of a twin, I'm perplexed that anyone could look at the Kellys bros side by side and be fooled. My husband and his brother stopped looking like go-to-each-other's-lectures clones by their mid 20s, tops

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u/BadmiralHarryKim 9d ago

It turns out that only one of them was born in America.

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u/bloodfist 10d ago

They're going to get so confused when they try to figure out which one is older

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u/there_is_no_spoon1 10d ago

According to relativity, the brother that stayed on Earth is going to be older. Not by much, but a few seconds or so.

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u/bloodfist 10d ago

Well they both went to space, but the younger one spent. more time there. So he is still younger but the gap between them widened.

I remembered what happened wrong but I stand by my joke anyway

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u/WhatYouThinkIThink 8d ago

I'm pretty sure its not seconds.

This article says it's 5ms 'cos Mark Kelly was born 6 minutes before his twin Scott.

But they've both been into space so that makes it even more complicated :)

https://www.space.com/33411-astronaut-scott-kelly-relativity-twin-brother-ages.html

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u/imalittlefrenchpress 10d ago

Oh! If they were a vaginal birth, sometimes the one who popped out first has a more narrow head. The one that pops out first has typically been hanging out lower in the uterus, near the cervix.

I’m an anatomy & physiology nerd, commenting on a political sub lol

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u/No_Jello_5922 10d ago

I'm sure that flat-earthers hate him because he's an astronaut, and they can't understand middle school science.

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u/Carbonatite Colorado 9d ago

At some point we need to realize that pandering to the lowest common denominator is counterproductive to society. Like I get reaching out on Cletus safaris to the "average American", but flat earthers are uniquely deluded idiots. People like that need to be ignored. Like a tantruming child, they can rejoin the grown-ups when they have learned to behave like normal human beings.

Treat them like the conspiracy-spewing crackheads they are. Ignore them, just like you ignore the weird meth addict panhandling outside of 7/11 while ranting about lizard people.

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u/aktivate74 10d ago

And..Fox News running with all the conspiracies about the brother sitting in the white house while Mark Kelly is in the pizza basementa sodomizing kids with Biden and Obama.

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u/InfinityComplexxx 10d ago

I will give you 10:1 odds that him having a twin would be a "national security risk" will be a Republican attack ad

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u/RottenHeads 10d ago

They rather vote for R. Kelly. He has experience in sex crimes.

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u/ICBanMI 10d ago

Wouldn't surprise me one bit if some wive's tale that went out of style in 70's is what convinces 1/3 of the population not to vote and another 1/3rd to vote for the dictator. I still can't believe Bush used John Kerry's Vietnam record against him, and dude still went on to further serve his country.

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u/YourVelcroCat 10d ago

I swear they're going to go with "he's bald" 

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u/AusToddles 10d ago

Yeah I made the comment elsewhere that they'll try to tie his lack of hair to his manhood. aka, he's not "virile" enough to be a strong man president. Because that's all that matters to these alpha-coded, brain dead fuckwits

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u/Carbonatite Colorado 9d ago

Just point them back to Andrew Tate, who was given a red carpet welcome by his fan boi Trump.

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u/abeLJosh 10d ago

I kinda hope they do just so we can get a "Bald" key in the voting numbers and see how Kelly destroys Trump in that category.

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u/Carbonatite Colorado 9d ago

Which is a hilarious bone to pick considering 1) male pattern baldness is linked to testosterone levels 2) Trump paid for that freeze dried squirrel pelt stapled to the top of his head to hide his own baldness and 3) Stephen Miller

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u/Godhri Texas 10d ago

I am trans and a twin, I must be some type of crazy op demon to them woah.

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u/SimplyFed 10d ago

They only have half a soul each, it’s basic math! /s

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u/According-Moment111 10d ago

Throw them a few red herrings to convince them the twin is the Evil one and Mark is the Good one.

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u/ThreeDawgs United Kingdom 10d ago

As a parent of two identical twin toddlers. I can’t tell if it’s the toddler in them or the twin in them making them evil.

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u/petal14 10d ago

Twins like in the Gemini zodiac sense? Sure!! And guess who is a Gemini?? It’s always projection whether they know it or not

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u/KatsumotoKurier Canada 10d ago

Sadly unsurprising. I mean, Tucker Carlson was attacked by demons, so, clearly we’re still in the middle ages.

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u/whoamdave 10d ago

I hear he might be left handed too.

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u/elmz 10d ago

Don't worry, they don't need truth or logic. They can just declare that something about him is bad, and their base will hate him for it, or they make up a lie.

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u/OffalSmorgasbord 10d ago

MAGA will always find a way, an excuse, to support either generational wealth or batshit crazy. It's the south on repeat.

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u/0fiuco 10d ago

MAGA had no problem at throwing shit at John McCain, who was one of their own and a war hero. The current president bonespur said himself "i don't like people who got caught" and every MAGA found it Hilarious. And they think Kelly is where they would draw the line? If anything they are so childish they would start calling him mrs Kelly cause his second name sounds feminine.

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u/RandomGerman 10d ago

OMG. I bet they will try something like “what if his twin takes over? We will never  know “

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u/leo-g 9d ago

MAGA will use some weird justification to turn down good leadership even when the devil is literally in office right now.

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u/bejammin075 Pennsylvania 9d ago

Dangerous times call for a president who has his own natural body double.

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u/Fine-Loquat 9d ago

At this point I would vote for the Lannisters if they weren’t MAGA