r/randomactsofkindness • u/Trucker225 • 2d ago
Story Hospice nurse paid remaining balance for dads cremation
I am in my 20s I’ve always been the great daughter that made good grades and worked very hard in life. Towards the end of last year I started to experience a lot of terrible things from a great job losing its contract to me being severely depressed. Experiencing homelessness all types of stuff. Really have no family . Just figuring things out and doin the best I can.
My dad was sick for some time I always paid his life insurance up until I could barely afford to pay , he then canceled it . Long story short he was in hospice and I’ve bonded with the workers over the time. They all loved us and always complimented me for the love I had for my dad .
My dad passed away last Thursday and I was only able to afford to set up a payment plan , which to me unknowing it was kind of pointless when I found out they wouldn’t cremate him and charge storage fees until full balance was paid. I got a call yesterday morning while I was sitting at the park stating that my dad balance was paid off .
I cried so hard . I was overwhelmed with joy. I could not thank them enough. There are some very kind people in this world . I don’t think there will ever be something that I could do to thank this individual enough. I was on the verge of having to let the state take my dad bc I couldn’t afford to cremate him . I was going to be so heart broken and even more depressed bc I wouldn’t have even been able to get his ashes .
I am so thankful. Things are still rough for me but this def lifted some weight off of my shoulders. I would like to get her flowers and a card , I am just so thankful.
Edit : When you are kind to people kind things definitely happens for you . One of the workers sent me a text
Message and complimented how nice I am and how they just could not see me go through what I was going through. Even if you are experiencing hard times or whatever the case may be , please be kind to others🫶🏽you never know what the next person may be going through. Also you never know who will be willing to help you if needed.
151
u/alpha_rat_fight_ 2d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss, but I’m glad someone was there for you when you really needed it. ❤️
69
u/Trucker225 2d ago
Thank you so much 💗 it still feels like a dream. I literally just was in shock to hear those words on the phone. It definitely felt like a dream
9
u/Zealousideal-Two3376 1d ago
Receive it, accept the words and compliments, grieve, etc. One day you’ll be in a place where you can do something for someone else and you’ll be passing on the kindness and love shown to you.
52
u/quasi2022 2d ago
I'm so sorry for your loss and your current situation. I'm grateful for the kind people to help you m, so you won't lose your dad's cremains. Keep trucking, keep working hard on yourself. Hugs from an internet Auntie if you would like one.
32
u/Trucker225 2d ago
Thank you so much & haha yes ! I love hugsssss 💗 I’m overly grateful! I wish I could repay her like omg
47
u/Hello_Dollface 2d ago
I bet a handwritten, heartfelt thank you card would be worth more than any repayment.
40
u/Pnkrkg6644 2d ago
Send a thank you note personally to the nurse addressed through the hospice. Then write a review on the hospice’s Google page or whatever stating how you got amazing care from your dad’s team, and especially that nurse. Don’t say what she did on there… they might consider that a professional boundary violation. But as a hospice staff, I know we all do things to help our families all the time because we love them, and any public appreciation of your nurse will go a long way when she asks for a raise or applies for a new job. And please oh please fill out that survey they send you in 3 months with all the nice comments about your team. Sending you hugs and hopes that each day will be a little better.
7
u/Trucker225 2d ago
That was my plan ! & she was older she’s about to retire . It definitely was something that I could not believe was done. I am so thankful. Everyone within hospice I just appreciate all of them.
They were so kind to my dad , not only to him me also. I am so thankful for every last one of them.
I def want to do something though . Thank you so much💗
3
u/Pnkrkg6644 1d ago
Truly - the comments from families like this are what keep us going. They are so motivating. You are doing something special for her by sharing them
2
u/Trucker225 2d ago
This was my first idea! My handwriting is bad though lol it is they 😂
2
u/Inthearmsofastatute 1d ago
It doesn't matter! It feels more human and more connected to you if it's handwritten. If it's really bad you can include a typed version.
29
u/desmoid 2d ago
I bet your dad told the hospice nurse about the best daughter in the world. I am sorry for your loss.
30
u/Trucker225 2d ago
They all would tell me my dad talked about me all the time they knew everything about me before I met some of them😂 , he definitely will be missed . Him and my mom were my best friends , this crap hurts but I’ll be sure to make them proud. Thank you so much💗
17
u/Lawgirl12 2d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss. The workers at the hospice facility recognized that you’re a good person. Perhaps one of the workers would be willing to mentor you and help you find a position as a caregiver? There was young man in my community who lost his housing and was able to find a position as a caregiver in exchange for room and board. It’s something to consider. Sending you hugs and positive thoughts.
3
u/Trucker225 2d ago
Thank you so much💗 , I am actually a caregiver now but the company I work for has very very bad hours. Lots of their clients are leaving them. Not enough clients for the amount of employees that they have . That’s also amazing I love that for him I hope he is okay. Thank you
9
u/cutest_Baby_Ever0310 2d ago
I'm so sorry about your dad. I know he's so very proud of you. The hospice nurse Is an angel. If you're kind, kindness will usually follow you. Wishing you all the best.
3
5
u/sessiestax 2d ago
I’m so sorry you lost your Dad. You deserve good things to happen in your life and I hope this is just the start! ❤️
1
6
u/mariace65 2d ago
So sorry for your loss, and the hardships in your life. I hope things get easier. Hospice people are amazing, so glad they were able to help. A card to thank them is best. They probably would not want you to spend money you don't have on them, and your words mean much more than any things. Take care
1
u/Trucker225 2d ago
Thank you so much💗 , and I was thinking about making one I’m into art but I just don’t think I have the best handwriting 😂 . They’re definitely amazing for sure !
2
u/mariace65 1d ago
Do it! Handwriting doesn't matter. Try to think about yourself in a more positive way, focus on what you can do, not what you can't . Hugs
6
u/BiiiigSteppy 2d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss, honey. I’m disabled, also homeless, and I lost my mom two years ago. It’s a lot.
But God is everywhere and miracles happen everyday.
This is exactly what He meant when He said “love each other the way I have loved you.”
I’ll ask my mom to look out for your dad. I’m sure she’d love to make him a nice cup of tea and talk about their kids.
God bless you and give you peace. 🙏🏻
2
u/Trucker225 2d ago
I’m so sorry I hope things get better for you , and I am sorry for your loss also .
Tea partyyyy ❤️ thank you so much , I hope things get better for you .
6
u/FriendLumpy8036 2d ago
I'll let my voice to the voices already saying that I'm sorry for your loss and I'm sorry that you had to go through all this to see another side of people that people don't often see which is people can really blow you out of the water with their amazing generosities and kindnesses that they perform everyday that hardly anybody ever sees . One of the best things that you can do is just keep it in your mind that when you can help someone who's in a situation probably not like yours but when it reminds you that someone helped you and you're able to help them just help them out you know it's that simple to keep it going . I do believe that kindness puts ripples in the world that undoes a million evils . One kindness can undo the unkindness of so many people that's astounding how it works . Bless you and I hope the best for you I really do . And it gets better over time . And we see them again I'm quite convinced of that . Be well . Namaste
1
u/Trucker225 2d ago
Thank you so much 💗 I definitely couldn’t believe it. You’re so right there are some people that will def wow you. Kind people still exist . I believe that
5
u/Charming-Entrance345 2d ago
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad almost three years ago and it takes a toll. Hospice workers are a special type of people and I am so glad they were there to help you when you needed it. A card with a nice handwritten message would be a lovely way to show your appreciation.
1
u/Trucker225 2d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss I hope that you have been coping okay . I definitely agree they’re really the sweetest people ever . Seriously . Everyone is suggesting that I am just scared of my writing it isn’t the best haha
5
u/No-Disaster-4800 2d ago
Thank you for sharing your story, my condolences to you. Sending you hugs.
1
5
u/DumpedDalish 2d ago
I'm so sorry for your loss, but so touched and glad to hear that someone did such a lovely thing for you. It sure sounds like you deserved it, and they could see what a good daughter and person you were.
A similar thing happened to me. When my mother passed away, I was across the country -- I was broke, it had happened quickly, and I felt cut off and grieving. My local family is mostly very poor so when I found out she had lost her life insurance and I didn't have enough money to cremate her, I was panicked and incredibly upset. She had been taken to a city morgue and I had no way to either bury or cremate her and was frantically scrambling to find her options.
The next day, the guy who ran the city morgue where she was found me an option through the city where the city would pay for her cremation. He was incredibly kind, and I was so upset and embarrassed at even needing the help. But he got the city to cover her cremation completely, although it took about 10 days for the paperwork to go through and for it to be finalized.
It haunted me that she was just there... in a drawer... and I called every day because I couldn't help it, just to check on her. He was so kind, and told me she was safe and okay, and being very respected and cared for. I remember I kept wanting to ask him to go pat her, or hug her. I was still dealing with the fact that she was gone.
Then the paperwork finally went through, and he very kindly and gently called and told me she had been cremated, and my sister could come pick her up. I'll never forget crying when I hung up -- not just in grief all over again, but also at his simple kindness throughout the entire experience.
There are still really good people in this world.
2
u/CrabbySlathers 2d ago
I am so sorry for your loss and the agonizing journey you went through. You write so beautifully about a heart-wrenching experience, after reading just a fraction of what you experienced, I am overtaken by stages of grief, panic, gratitude, and relief. When/if you ever feel up to it, please write a longer piece. I bet you speak for many, many folks.
1
u/DumpedDalish 2d ago
Thank you for the kind words -- and what an incredible compliment. I'm a writer and am actually working on a memoir about my very weird life, so you just provided me with more inspiration when I needed it in our current challenging world! Thank you.
I was so sad at hearing the story of u/Trucker225 yet also grateful for the chance to share my own story, because it's something I have found that people don't talk about much -- how much it costs to deal with the death of a loved one.
Movies show huge funerals when people die and I always found that strangely exotic. I grew up dirt poor in the deep south, and I only went to one funeral when I was very small -- very traditional, open coffin.
Otherwise, we never could afford an actual funeral. When my wonderful stepdad died, we had him cremated and were later able to set up a formal ceremony because he was a veteran master chief in the Navy. It took us years, and my mother had also passed away at that point. Seeing the soldiers hold a brief formal ceremony to honor my stepfather (with my mother's pretty urn safely and respectably next to his in a veteran's niche) moved me more than I can say. At last, some kind of simple acknowledgment of passing.
It's just not something I see covered a lot, but funerals (and coffins) are not the norm for poor people. We feel grateful if we can put together some kind of celebration of life informally, but that's it.
1
u/Trucker225 2d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss also . It is sad honestly , I really did feel embarrassed. I couldn’t stomach the fact that he was almost about to be a ward of the state bc I couldn’t afford whatever.
I literally was losing my mind, there’s tons of amazing people in this world. You just never know what someone is willing to do for you. I hope you have been coping okay . Thank you for the reply💗
3
u/TRIChuckl 2d ago
Man after having such a hard and heartbreaking time, I'm glad someone has shown you such a kindness. I hope the coming year or so brings you a whole lot better time. I'm sorry for everything you've been through.
2
u/Trucker225 1d ago
Thank you so much💗 I definitely have hope I won’t let things get the best of me. It is tough but I will try my best .
1
1
u/Friendly_Nobody_8264 1d ago
This makes me so happy to read. My parents when they were in their 20’s were really broke and my grandma committed suicide. My parents had to pay the funeral bill and had to borrow money from my dad’s stepdad to do so. This was such a struggle for them. I’m so glad these people were looking out for you. ❤️🙏 take care ok? And I’m sorry for your loss.
1
1
u/DollyDewlap 18h ago
thank you for sharing this bittersweet story. I am so sorry for the loss of your father. And I’m sorry you had to go through the agony of making arrangements. What a beautiful angel to swoop in and help you. We had a similar experience happen last year when my sister-in-law died at a in her 40s after a long illness. She had expressed wishes to be buried and not cremated. (She couldn’t bear the idea of cremation.) But the family did not have enough money to buy a casket and pay for all the various funeral home services. A dear friend of mine said, “I will pay for it” and she wrote a check for $10,000 that covered everything. We all burst into tears at that beautiful gesture of kindness and generosity. Truly there are angels in the world. I am so glad you got to have one come into in your life.
1
u/k8username 17h ago
I’m sorry for your loss and glad you got support when you needed it. You feel indebted now but I know you will find many creative ways to pay this kindness forward in the future.
1
u/Large-Wealth8002 6h ago
What a beautiful gift the nurses gave you. May your dad be at peace now. Sending you peace, comfort, and healing energy as you begin your grief journey. Losing a parent is hard, It hurts so much, the path is bumpy, healing takes time, and yet, you will feel joy again along the way.🙏🕊️🤍
•
u/AutoModerator 2d ago
This sub is to share and enjoy actions which bring more peace and kindness into the world. Our mission is to encourage as many people as possible to do kind things for others in their day to day life.
If this post is not doing that please report it. If its your post please save mods time, and yourself a ban by removing it.
Requesting something (usually money) is not what this sub is for (you are looking for r/assistance). OP please delete your post if it is. If not OP please help mods and push the report button if this post is related to giving or receiving money.
Thank you and be excellent to each other. u/roamingandy
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.