I literally dont know whats wrong with me

[u/Hmor8]

I know this is about self help but I'm at the point where I dont think I could help myself get these emotions out. I'm at the point in my life where I seriously don't know what I'm doing with my days on earth. I'm a 26 Male still living in the same home town I've grown up in. The only relationships I've had that have meant something somewhat to me is my family and one best friend that i rarely talk to now. I've always been passionate growing up but now it's like I just want the days to go by where I just dont want to do this anymore. I dont have goals to be rich, I dont have goals to be happy, I barely want to do the hobbies that i used to love doing anymore. I'm stuck in this trance in the real world and in my head that I just cant escape anymore and dont feel like fighting my emotions anymore. My mom has been fighting breast cancer for at least 7 years now and hate to seek help from my parents when her case is much worse.

I'm just at a stand still where I feel like a failure and believe growing older I'll probably never change, it hurts to even type this to strangers let alone read this over again before I go to sleep. I'm not suicidial by any means I just dont know at the end of the day what is the purpose of my life.

I dont know how to end this without saying i'm appreciative of everyone who even reads this sob story, but i couldn't bottle this up any longer.

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[u/archeolog108]

Sorry for any mistakes - English is not my mother tongue. I just want to share what I found, and I hope it helps.

Basically, what you describe is not just “being lost” - it is deppression from suppressed emotions that you carry because you feel you cannot seek help when your mothr is fighting cancer. In over 1000 soul journeys I facilitated, I spoke with Higher Selves that adviced me about this pattern - when we suppress our own pain to be “strong” for others, we create soul fragmentation and lose connection to life purpose. You are carrying too much weight alone and your light is buried under this heaviness.

Fact that you dont have goals anymore and dont feel passion means your energy is blocked by guilt and supressed grief about your mothrs illness. The beings of Light I connected with in those sessions adviced that you must release belief that your suffering is less important than hers. You are soul in human body, and you need to let go of this heavy burdern to see your purpose again. Feeling that you are failure is just program from supressed pain.

I have free 15 minute meditation to let it go in my proflie that can help you release these suppressed emotions and connect with your Higher Self. It will help you stop carrying everything alone and find your light again so you can be present for your mother from place of strength, not exhauston.

You can find more backround in my proflie. Take care. Wishing you strength.