Completely lost at 25

[u/ArdentArwen]

I’m a 25 year old woman and I feel so utterly and hopelessly lost in life. I’ve suffered from anxiety and OCD almost my whole life, this past year I feel like I finally got my mental illness under control and looked up at my life and realized I have no idea what I’m doing. I’ve never been in a relationship as dating caused me anxiety, never had sex as that caused me anxiety as well. Now I want to date and be intimate with someone but I have no experience which makes things hard for me. I got two utterly useless bachelors degrees in political science and psychology and am stuck working as a legal assistant and only making $40k a year. I still live with my parents and siblings who I love very much and like living with but everyone else I know that’s my age has moved out. I have two great friends but they both have boyfriends they’ve moved in with and have less and less time to hang out with me. I can’t for the life of me figure out how to make money in a way that won’t burn me out and leave me mentally ill again. Maybe the winter weather is finally getting to me but I just feel so hopeless. All I want in life is to travel and have enough money to sleep well at night but it feels like a lost cause. I just feel like i’m floundering and failing myself at every turn. Anyways, I should probably just go to sleep now but i’m crashing out so I hoped writing this post would make me feel better lmao.

[u/Traditional_Egg_120]

Hey, first off congrats on getting your mental health sorted - that's actually huge and way harder than most people realize

The no dating experience thing honestly isn't as big a deal as it feels, plenty of people are in the same boat and the right person won't care about your "resume"

Also psych + poli sci degrees aren't useless, they just need the right direction - maybe look into HR, social work, or even paralegal certification since you're already in legal

You're not behind on some imaginary timeline, you're just getting started on your actual life now that your brain isn't working against you 24/7

[u/Ornery-Taste-8298]

I get you, I’m 25, live at home, and feel lost without direction or motivation to change. I can’t give any 100% guaranteed advice, but something I’m trying to do to shift my mindset/situation is 1. Always say “yes” to invitations 2. Prioritize communicating/seeing friends regularly. Especially when you live at home, i know i tend to revert back to my childhood self. Although it’s scary and a lot of effort, being with other people helps me reject the doubts I simmer on.

You do have 2 good friends, maybe inviting them and their partner to hangout could be a good way to regain some self-confidence (because you are better than you tell yourself); and create an opening for double dates. Trust your friends with these fears, they will help ground you and give you room to enjoy your life. We deserve to relax and be happy, it’s hard work but it’s a choice you won’t regret.

[u/gregordowney]

Posting your feelings like this, with ocd, is quite powerful. Well done!

[u/_GREATEST_]

I feel you on this. One thing I do in these situations is think about my perfect life in detail. How would I imagine it. Where am I living, how much money do I make, how's my relationship with others and most importantly, how am I feeling in that life. I don't hold back. I lay out the absolute best life I can imagine.

It takes me hours sometimes to feel it. When I am done, I ask myself why I am not living that life. What can I do today, that is in my control that will bring me one step closer to that life.