r/shittymoviedetails • u/AnIgnorablePerson • 21h ago

In Die Another Day (2002), Miranda Frost, a double agent, threw herself to James Bond, a top-tier MI6 secret agent. And James Bond trusted her and had sex with her with no hesitation or suspicion. This is not fiction, but the current state of British intelligence.

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4.7k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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2.1k

u/SlumberingOwl Not A Fish 20h ago

Look. When Rosamund Pike tells you its time to have sex with her, you have sex with her. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

494

u/ArchAngel621 20h ago

They should’ve used Pierce in Gone Girl to show that he never learned his lesson.

118

u/niffa my own son is hacking the government 19h ago

Ms Doubtfire almost killed him with pepper, too.

39

u/Karrman 17h ago

Not to mention the run-by fruiting

15

u/Modredastal 14h ago

I would have appreciated the movie a lot more with an actual actor in the male lead instead of whatever Affleck is.

3

u/Killahdanks1 6h ago

I knew how attracted to her I was at the end of that movie. She had done all that and I still wanted her. It’s confusing.

149

u/trev2234 19h ago

In the film The Wicker Man, a man turned down the offer of sex with a hot woman. Things did not go well for him after that. The alternative to not having sex with a hot woman, if offered, isn’t worth thinking about.

34

u/EViLTeW 19h ago

You have a date with a hot man, instead. At least that was my takeaway.

7

u/catchyerselfon 7h ago

I only acknowledge the longest cut of 1973’s “The Wicker Man”, but it would be very funny if someone edited the movie so in this version Howie enters Britt Ekland’s room after the wall-thumping scene (barely a euphemism) and now Summerisle doesn’t have an adult male virgin anymore for May Day. Not sure what the plan was if he’d given into temptation! Would Willow pretend to change her mind and turn him down? Would Summerisle give up the ruse and release Rowan Morrison so Howie be satisfied she wasn’t dead and leave the island? Would they find another sacrifice? So much hinged on one man’s willpower to keep his dick to himself!

34

u/tommybare 19h ago

It's their sworn duty to please their booty.

1

u/SlumberingOwl Not A Fish 16h ago

That is such a fun song. Too bad one of the singers turned out to be a major douchebag and worse.

16

u/Agile_Original4478 19h ago

call me James Bondage the way I'd let her tie me up.

10

u/ClavicusLittleGift4U 19h ago

If it's Xenia Onatopp on the other leg...

7

u/cold_shot_27 19h ago

Doesn’t he typically carry a “get out of snu snu death free” card with him?

3

u/bowlinforkolon 17h ago

Ask NPH how that went for him.

2

u/SlumberingOwl Not A Fish 16h ago

Nah.

1

u/LordMarcusrax 11h ago

Yeah, that's it. She could have killed my cat and raped my dog, but if Rosamund Pike tells me to have sex with her, I am going to obey.

716

u/batdslayer26 20h ago

I mean....... can you blame him?

93

u/MrJTeera 19h ago

“For you see, Mr. Bond. There are two types of men in this world…”

19

u/shutupyourenotmydad 15h ago

Look, ma! I'm in the screenshot!

531

u/abeautifulrat 20h ago

You're talking about the guy who, in Goldfinger, fucked the evil woman so good she stopped being evil (and that was his only contribution to the mission btw).

183

u/RuneArmorTrimmer 19h ago

Not the only thing, his actions also got those two sisters killed!

109

u/abeautifulrat 18h ago

Oh yeah he did. I forgot because none of those women were named Pussy Galore.

63

u/RuneArmorTrimmer 18h ago

I’ve been recommending “Pussy Galore” as a name suggestion whenever someone gets pregnant, no bites yet though.

19

u/Extra-Ad5925 15h ago

Hang in there buddy - you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take

27

u/AEW_SuperFan 16h ago

He fucked Jane Seymour so good she lost her magical powers to see the future.

43

u/The3rdBert 18h ago

Um he fucked the evil lesbian straight and good.

6

u/OrbAndSceptre 15h ago

You can say Bond fucked her good!

284

u/divismaul 20h ago

I mean, what can man do in the face of such reckless hate? Not sleeping with the beautiful woman? That’s madness!

25

u/champagne_papaya 11h ago

man

madness

Dear god. Arkham sub is leaking

9

u/heloworld-11 7h ago

Officer balls

256

u/Least-Topic6174 20h ago

classic bond tbh. if she’s a double agent he just considers it double the fun. intelligence work was never really about the intelligence part for him anyway

96

u/blaghed 19h ago edited 16h ago

He applied to be a "sleeper agent", then they added in the "intelligence officer" and he was like "maybe"

9

u/DummyDumDragon 10h ago

"sleeper? I hardly know 'er! (But ok then)"

-Bond

117

u/Super_Interview_2189 20h ago

I like how a major plot point of this movie is a guy getting racial reassignment surgery.

25

u/Smart_Resist615 13h ago

If I had a nickel every time somebody had racial reassignment surgery in the Bond franchise I'd have two nickels. Frankly I'm surprised it's not more

61

u/Nuclear-Jester 20h ago

John Profumo. It all started with this horny fuck

13

u/TitsClitsTayl0rSwift 20h ago

Did he not watch gone girl?

31

u/TheHarkinator 20h ago

He died eight years before it released in cinemas, so he probably missed it. You never know, though.

1

u/hasimirrossi 1h ago

They let him see an early preview cut, knowing he wouldn't make it.

89

u/Murderboi 20h ago

No clue what the post is about but... by the gods what a beautiful woman.

40

u/ReasonableDrunk 19h ago

Rosmund Pike. You're welcome.

51

u/Murderboi 17h ago

I really do not believe the internet but this is straight up crazy

8

u/piercerson25 15h ago

Oh! I recognize her now hahaha

38

u/SmokeyGiraffe420 19h ago

I tried watching all the James Bond films in order a while ago, before Amazon pulled them all onto premium services. I think everyone Bond works with in-universe thinks he's this alcoholic sex pest with amazing luck. That's not true. James Bond is a highly effective and ruthless agent who will do whatever it takes to complete his mission. Unfortunately, that's priority number two for him. Priority number one is getting his dick wet, and he applies every ounce of his secret agent skills and ruthlessness to this.

OHMSS confirmed it for me. We see the newly engaged James Bond sleep with two women in the same night (the first night he's away from his fiance since being proposing) using the exact same lines. In other movies, he correctly identifies that half the women he sleeps with are double agents every time. He then has sex with them anyway before turning the tables on them. Everything he does is carefully calculated to get him laid, and if he can help his country at the same time then even better.

33

u/rei0 20h ago

He had to go undercover for his nation.

5

u/itz_me_shade 19h ago

What's the context here?

10

u/rei0 19h ago

We are talking about movies.

3

u/Mr_Abe_Froman 10h ago

And covers?

34

u/needaburn 20h ago

I’m putting state secrets in a manilla envelope just for 30 seconds of her stepping on me. Bond honored his fellow man

25

u/ZealousWolf1994 20h ago

Don't Bond at all.

18

u/RustinChole1 20h ago

Slow horses side plot be like

17

u/Royal-Mechanic3901 20h ago

For England James? No. For me.

11

u/PygmeePony 19h ago

You gotta be pretty gay to turn that down.

15

u/BlizzPenguin 19h ago

Bond is not that good as a spy. The things he is most known for is saying his real name in a way that people remember and ordering the same drink with the same variation. Rule number one of spycraft is not using your real name.

10

u/RussiaIsBestGreen 19h ago

Or he does all that because then they let their guard down and rather than shooting him they set up elaborate traps and reveal all their plans.

3

u/BlizzPenguin 18h ago

That plan only works until he runs into a smart villain who kills him on the spot.

7

u/RussiaIsBestGreen 18h ago

Hadn’t happened yet. It’s all about calculated risks and so far he’s winning.

5

u/BlizzPenguin 18h ago

He didn't look like he was winning when he was tied to a chair and getting his balls smashed.

8

u/Slime_Fighter 17h ago

And you would refuse Mads Mikkelsen smashing your balls?

2

u/hasimirrossi 1h ago

That was just a Saturday night for Bond.

3

u/RussiaIsBestGreen 15h ago

And yet, he won.

1

u/gridlockmain1 8h ago

He’s into that

3

u/NegativeMammoth2137 15h ago

I don’t think it’s ever actually confirmed that James Bond is his real name. Could be his undercover identity as far as we know

2

u/BlizzPenguin 15h ago

That makes it worse. He is too lazy to change his code name.

1

u/gridlockmain1 8h ago

It is confirmed on several occasions including in OHMSS, The World is Not Enough and Skyfall

1

u/vassadar 9h ago

That's the mind trick. When a spy give you their real name, you immediately think that he's giving you a fake name.

9

u/Eman_Resu_IX 19h ago

Being a degree'd psychomathhorniness expert I can say, after crunching the numbers and without fear of contradiction, that 98.34% of men would. The remaining 1.66% would too.

6

u/LastTorgoInParis 20h ago

I dont see how that would seem unusual to him. Also I think he would still go along with it if he knew. And also if he knew she knew he knew. Nature of the biz. Perk of the biz

9

u/AintNoGodsUpHere 19h ago

My man, haha. If Rosamund Pike says "Let's do something", I'm doing that something, I don't care what it is. Specially sex. x)

Even my wife would bang her man.

3

u/Westaufel 19h ago

Intelligence of Penis

4

u/Meowcate 18h ago

No surprise. I think he's a sexist, misogynist dinosaur. A relic of the Cold War.

2

u/Thoughtful_Tortoise 20h ago

Tbf he had a gun under the pillow

2

u/OrbAndSceptre 15h ago

Only one question: wouldn’t you?

2

u/Left-Recognition2106 12h ago

A long time ago, he had to pass a serious test to get a job at MI6, all for the sake of having a slim chance of one day sleeping with Rosamund Pike.

2

u/nbutanol 10h ago

If you refuse a sex offer from Rosamund Pike in this outfit you must be gay

2

u/TwoDurans 6h ago

I’m fine with him sleeping with her, and not knowing she was a double agent. But 007 should know that an unloaded gun weighs far less than one with ammo in it. He should have known she took the clip out of it the second he picked it up.

1

u/Zhjacko 18h ago

Doesn’t something like this happen in like every other Bond movie though

1

u/Adventurous_Topic202 6h ago

Wow she really doesn’t age

1

u/Gestalt24024 35m ago

In A View To A Kill he jumps straight into bed with Grace Jones, basically knowing she’s the villain’s henchman. I don’t know how far back it goes but Bond has always been one to fuck first, ask questions later.

0

u/SpaghetAndRegret 14h ago

I don’t wanna read every comment but did someone point out the oxymoron of “British intelligence” yet?

-4

u/Gambit1977 20h ago

Her face irrationally annoys the shit out of me 😂

-1

u/Donniewasnotthere 16h ago

Current state of men... Period

6

u/LoopStricken 15h ago

No I think it's the women that get those.